The 12th thing I would do if I owned Lord of the Rings:
Never burn an omelette again…
~*~
It was the morning after… not that kind of morning after though. Frodo's birthday had gone incredibly well and he was well pleased. He was currently curled up on the couch; Hobbit beer clutched in his little furry hand. A series of loud knocks emanated from the kitchen. Curses could be hared, very rude, very loud curses. Frodo raised his head lightly, opening one sleep caked bleary eye and surveying the destruction left by the coming of his eighteenth year. He chuckled crustily 'So,' he thought to himself 'Merry and Pippin did nick the scissors!'
"FRODO!" someone screamed from the direction of the kitchen. Frodo slowly turned his head. "GET IN HERE FRODO!" Bilbo appeared at the kitchen entrance brandished a dirty frying pan.
"Huh?" queried Frodo, raising himself up onto his shaky legs.
"I'll give you huh!" and without further ado Bilbo threw the filthy frypan at Frodo's defenceless head. Lucky for Frodo that Bilbo was a shocking shot. The Frying pan pinged off the wall behind him, knocking off a picture of Bilbo's Great Aunt.
"Hey don't throw frying pans at Great Great Aunt Barge!" said Frodo as he picked his way towards his steaming uncle, careful not to tread on the slumbering bodies of his buddies.
"Frodo the kitchen looks like ground zero!" Frodo shook his head at this absurd assumption.
"No, no it is ground zero – I rented it out to a number of fez wearing Dwarf's with some suspect looking nuclear weapons… what?" Bilbo sighed deeply.
"Why are you doing this to me? What did I do to deserve this?" Bilbo gestured around 'ground zero' with an outstretched arm – knocking a white envelope off the mantle piece. "Ohh what's this?" Bilbo knelt down and picked up the mysterious envelope inspecting it gingerly. "To Bilbo – that's me!" Bilbo smiled happily – ground zero completely forgotten. He ripped the envelope open, spilling its contents onto his outstretched palm. All the while Frodo watched while taking tentative sips on his beer. "It's a letter from Elrond!" Frodo's eyebrows drooped with confusion.
"Who's that then?" he asked slowly. Bilbo gave him a cursory glance.
"Long haired lout – likes trees," Bilbo said nonchalantly as he continued to read the letter.
"Great I'm gonna' go back to sleep now – ciao!" Bilbo's hand shot out, stopping Frodo dead in his tracks.
"No you're not – turns out old Elrond is in need of some assistance. So we're packing our bags bambino… let's go!" Frodo drained his beer in one massive gulp.
"Alright."
~*~
Meanwhile our other intrepid travellers have got into a spot of bother…
Bog had caused the cave-in and it was Bog who fixed it in the end. He madly slashed his way out of their rocky prison. Everyone followed cautiously – and some while back as to avoid Bog's frantic hacking. It was nighttime when our party emerged on a rocky outcrop over looking a dense pine tree forest. The moon glinted off the sea of gigantic vegetation and the multi faceted rocks giving off an eyrie glow. The fellowship spilled out of the freshly butchered opening collapsing on ground, gasping for air like a bunch pathetic little fish. Bog placed his trusty battle-axe on his shoulder staring at the gaping hole in the rock face with pride.
Gandalf was the first to calm down and take stock of their bearings. 'They were on a rocky hill and there were trees,' was the best he could come up with. He let his eyes gaze slip towards the dust-covered form of Bog. The One Spoon was clearly visible strapped to hia cape. He would have to move quickly if he were to nick the spoon with out facing the prospect of a battle-axe in the mouth. But then again he was Gandalf the Great… The grey great… Anyhow he had won plenty of track and field trophies at wizard school so this was a piece of cake – a nice cheesecake. Gandalf's eyes glinted with determination as he raised himself onto to his senior citizen hunches.
~*~
Well that chapter certainly took a while in coming! Sorry about that… I have no excuse – I'm just lazy... incredibly lazy. Though I do hope you can forgive me and I beseech you, please do review – it dost make so happy!
Never burn an omelette again…
~*~
It was the morning after… not that kind of morning after though. Frodo's birthday had gone incredibly well and he was well pleased. He was currently curled up on the couch; Hobbit beer clutched in his little furry hand. A series of loud knocks emanated from the kitchen. Curses could be hared, very rude, very loud curses. Frodo raised his head lightly, opening one sleep caked bleary eye and surveying the destruction left by the coming of his eighteenth year. He chuckled crustily 'So,' he thought to himself 'Merry and Pippin did nick the scissors!'
"FRODO!" someone screamed from the direction of the kitchen. Frodo slowly turned his head. "GET IN HERE FRODO!" Bilbo appeared at the kitchen entrance brandished a dirty frying pan.
"Huh?" queried Frodo, raising himself up onto his shaky legs.
"I'll give you huh!" and without further ado Bilbo threw the filthy frypan at Frodo's defenceless head. Lucky for Frodo that Bilbo was a shocking shot. The Frying pan pinged off the wall behind him, knocking off a picture of Bilbo's Great Aunt.
"Hey don't throw frying pans at Great Great Aunt Barge!" said Frodo as he picked his way towards his steaming uncle, careful not to tread on the slumbering bodies of his buddies.
"Frodo the kitchen looks like ground zero!" Frodo shook his head at this absurd assumption.
"No, no it is ground zero – I rented it out to a number of fez wearing Dwarf's with some suspect looking nuclear weapons… what?" Bilbo sighed deeply.
"Why are you doing this to me? What did I do to deserve this?" Bilbo gestured around 'ground zero' with an outstretched arm – knocking a white envelope off the mantle piece. "Ohh what's this?" Bilbo knelt down and picked up the mysterious envelope inspecting it gingerly. "To Bilbo – that's me!" Bilbo smiled happily – ground zero completely forgotten. He ripped the envelope open, spilling its contents onto his outstretched palm. All the while Frodo watched while taking tentative sips on his beer. "It's a letter from Elrond!" Frodo's eyebrows drooped with confusion.
"Who's that then?" he asked slowly. Bilbo gave him a cursory glance.
"Long haired lout – likes trees," Bilbo said nonchalantly as he continued to read the letter.
"Great I'm gonna' go back to sleep now – ciao!" Bilbo's hand shot out, stopping Frodo dead in his tracks.
"No you're not – turns out old Elrond is in need of some assistance. So we're packing our bags bambino… let's go!" Frodo drained his beer in one massive gulp.
"Alright."
~*~
Meanwhile our other intrepid travellers have got into a spot of bother…
Bog had caused the cave-in and it was Bog who fixed it in the end. He madly slashed his way out of their rocky prison. Everyone followed cautiously – and some while back as to avoid Bog's frantic hacking. It was nighttime when our party emerged on a rocky outcrop over looking a dense pine tree forest. The moon glinted off the sea of gigantic vegetation and the multi faceted rocks giving off an eyrie glow. The fellowship spilled out of the freshly butchered opening collapsing on ground, gasping for air like a bunch pathetic little fish. Bog placed his trusty battle-axe on his shoulder staring at the gaping hole in the rock face with pride.
Gandalf was the first to calm down and take stock of their bearings. 'They were on a rocky hill and there were trees,' was the best he could come up with. He let his eyes gaze slip towards the dust-covered form of Bog. The One Spoon was clearly visible strapped to hia cape. He would have to move quickly if he were to nick the spoon with out facing the prospect of a battle-axe in the mouth. But then again he was Gandalf the Great… The grey great… Anyhow he had won plenty of track and field trophies at wizard school so this was a piece of cake – a nice cheesecake. Gandalf's eyes glinted with determination as he raised himself onto to his senior citizen hunches.
~*~
Well that chapter certainly took a while in coming! Sorry about that… I have no excuse – I'm just lazy... incredibly lazy. Though I do hope you can forgive me and I beseech you, please do review – it dost make so happy!