Ba da da ba da da ba ba da ba ba! (what passes as a lame drum beat) Chapter
14 is alive! (manic cheers and shouts)
By gooly gosh boys and girls it has been many months indeed since I have updated this here tale but I have finally overcome my laziness, so I present to you chapter 14!
~*~ "Hi my name's Sauron. You probably know of me as the seven-foot tall, gold armour plated spiky freak with a penchant for little circlets of gold. Well those generalisations are mostly accurate but I am more. So much more. And to prove to you that I am so much more I talked the author of this tale into letting me do the review chapter! After a few spins on the old wheel of torture they obsequiously agreed. I recognise this is a big responsibility but I really wanted to do something original. Something different. Something kitsch! So I asked a few of my oily minions around to the 'ol bachelor pad got them rather pissed and am about to completely revise this story (for those that don't remember) in modern art style. Well here I am, all dressed in black and ready to make tracks!" ~-*~
At the very top of the great tower Barad Dum there lies a room. Completely shrouded in the dank putrid darkness that crawls up the tower from its fetid base this room is like all others. But when the great eye of Sauron, wreathed in flame, burns out from the top of this hideous tower the ambient light falls upon this room. Suddenly it is transformed into a funky, vibrant beast of a room. Suddenly it becomes Saurons very own bachelor pad.
After a long, hard days work there's nothing Saurons minions enjoy more than relaxing on a comfy slab of burnt iron (fits with the décor you know) and watching their truly evil master present hilarious acts of modern performance art. Today is no exception. Today Sauron, the little blighter, will perform for their and our pleasure 'The Evil Within' modern art style. The tables are absolutely packed and the chunk of wrought iron that passes for a stage is watched with growing expectation. The lights dim. ~*~
Thick black velvet curtains roll back from the stage revealing a woodland set with a huge cardboard tree. Sitting under the tree looking at himself in the mirror is Lord Legolas Sauron. Suddenly he stands up revealing a beautiful head of golden hair that trickls lightly down his back. "I'm going to introduce myself now boys," he flicks his hair panteen style " and girls. So don't say I didn't warn you." He rips of his long grey elvan cloak to reveal a shockingly tight black cabaret outfit. Strains of Bananarama's Venus break the heavy silence. Cabaret Sauron starts to sing seductively. "I'm your elf, I'm your sire, I'm your desire!" ~*~
Yes... well that was rather weird wasn't it? I'm sorry about that folks but it had just been in my system for a while and I just had to exercise the Sauron cabaret demon.
By gooly gosh boys and girls it has been many months indeed since I have updated this here tale but I have finally overcome my laziness, so I present to you chapter 14!
~*~ "Hi my name's Sauron. You probably know of me as the seven-foot tall, gold armour plated spiky freak with a penchant for little circlets of gold. Well those generalisations are mostly accurate but I am more. So much more. And to prove to you that I am so much more I talked the author of this tale into letting me do the review chapter! After a few spins on the old wheel of torture they obsequiously agreed. I recognise this is a big responsibility but I really wanted to do something original. Something different. Something kitsch! So I asked a few of my oily minions around to the 'ol bachelor pad got them rather pissed and am about to completely revise this story (for those that don't remember) in modern art style. Well here I am, all dressed in black and ready to make tracks!" ~-*~
At the very top of the great tower Barad Dum there lies a room. Completely shrouded in the dank putrid darkness that crawls up the tower from its fetid base this room is like all others. But when the great eye of Sauron, wreathed in flame, burns out from the top of this hideous tower the ambient light falls upon this room. Suddenly it is transformed into a funky, vibrant beast of a room. Suddenly it becomes Saurons very own bachelor pad.
After a long, hard days work there's nothing Saurons minions enjoy more than relaxing on a comfy slab of burnt iron (fits with the décor you know) and watching their truly evil master present hilarious acts of modern performance art. Today is no exception. Today Sauron, the little blighter, will perform for their and our pleasure 'The Evil Within' modern art style. The tables are absolutely packed and the chunk of wrought iron that passes for a stage is watched with growing expectation. The lights dim. ~*~
Thick black velvet curtains roll back from the stage revealing a woodland set with a huge cardboard tree. Sitting under the tree looking at himself in the mirror is Lord Legolas Sauron. Suddenly he stands up revealing a beautiful head of golden hair that trickls lightly down his back. "I'm going to introduce myself now boys," he flicks his hair panteen style " and girls. So don't say I didn't warn you." He rips of his long grey elvan cloak to reveal a shockingly tight black cabaret outfit. Strains of Bananarama's Venus break the heavy silence. Cabaret Sauron starts to sing seductively. "I'm your elf, I'm your sire, I'm your desire!" ~*~
Yes... well that was rather weird wasn't it? I'm sorry about that folks but it had just been in my system for a while and I just had to exercise the Sauron cabaret demon.