Disclaimer: The X-Men do not belong to me, and neither do the Gundam Wing characters, but I've been so very good this year that maybe... *visions of copyrights dance in my head*


Split Personalities: X-Men Evolution Version, Chapter Two


Like, what're we gonna do? asked Kitty, once they were all out in the hall.

I'm afraid there's not much we can do, except wait for the Professor and Scott to regain their memories, replied Ororo.

How long will that take? asked Rogue.

I don't know, child

It can take amnesia patients months to remember things, said Jean, Sometimes its gradual, and sometimes its all at once, if there's a strong enough mental trigger. But these aren't typical amnesia patients...

No kidding, interjected Evan, They both think they're someone else! And what made them go whacko in the first place?

Oh, no, cried Kitty, do you think... that we could be next?

Don' say things like that! exclaimed Rogue.

Let's not worry needlessly, Kitty, said Ororo soothingly, I'm going take the Professor to sick bay where we can do some tests and monitor him. Jean, would you please contact Kurt and tell him to bring Scott to sick bay as well?

Jean nodded and focused her powers on reaching Kurt. She couldn't find him! When she told the others, they became very nervous.

Go and find them, Ororo said quietly.

The four young mutants ran down the hall in the direction of the elevator. Once there, Jean pushed the button to open the door.

Ugh, what's this? Something goopy had gotten on her fingers and was all over the button. Rogue leaned closer to inspect the substance.

Looks like pudding.

Okay, like, who put pudding on the elevator button? wondered Kitty.

No one had time to guess, because the next moment, they were being attacked! A projectile came flying towards them. Evan flung a spike at the thing, causing it to burst and spew chocolate pudding everywhere, most particularly all over Kitty and Rogue.

Ugh! Oh, ick! A pudding balloon?!

Aw, man, ah jus' washed my hair last night.

BU-WA-HA-HA-HA!! The God of Death strikes again!! echoed through the halls as a short, muscular figure ran away.

Was that LOGAN?! exclaimed Evan.

But he's not anywhere near here, said the telepath,

Oh, no, we've got another psycho on our hands, moaned Rogue.

Rogue, Kitty, you two go after Logan while Evan and I get Scott and Kurt, said Jean.

Kitty called over her shoulder, as the two girls rushed after their crazed instructor. They rounded a corner and were halfway down the hall when Kitty stopped in her tracks. Her eyes glazed over for a second, and then returned to normal.

Kitty, what're ya stoppin' for? asked Rogue.

Kitty began walking deliberately away from Rogue. Rogue, needless to say, became nervous.

Hey, where're ya goin'?

I'm carrying out the will of my father, Kitty said, seemingly to herself.

Kitty! Don' tell me you've gone batty!

Kitty turned sharply, making Rogue jump, narrowed her eyes and said harshly, Watch yourself! I've been chosen to lead the Earth Sphere Unified Nation. I won't allow rude comments.

Rogue was at a complete loss as Kitty rushed away down the hall. When she regained her composure, it was too late. Kitty was gone. She ran this way and that looking for her not-quite-sane room mate, but the girl seemed to have disappeared.

Great! she thought, Jus' great. First Scott, then the Prof, LOGAN, and now Kitty! Who's next?

Shall we answer her question? *evil chuckle*

Jean and Evan had reached the danger room. And they were shocked at what they found. Scott and Kurt had procured from somewhere a flute and a violin and were happily playing a duet. They ignored their friends calling their names and continued to play, eyes closed, perfectly content.

Oh, man, not Kurt, groaned Evan.

Jean and Evan were discussing whether to physically move the two musicians to the sick bay right then, or wait until they took a break from their musical stylings, when Rogue rushed in, out of breath.

It's (huff, huff) Kitty. She thinks (huff, huff) she's the leader of (huff, huff) the United Earth Circle or somethin'...

Oh, great! shouted Evan, obviously vexed, How're we supposed to get Fiddle-boy, No-name, the Pudding Bomber, AND her Royal Roundness to sick bay?

Jean sighed, Maybe Ororo can help us. She focused on reaching the weather witch and was relieved to find her.

Ororo?

Yes, Jean?

It's confirmed. Kurt is not himself, and neither are Logan nor Kitty. Scott and Kurt are still here in the danger room, but the other two... we need help finding and bringing to sick bay.

I'm sorry, Jean, but I have my hands full trying to get the Professor out of his... room. I will be with you as soon as I can.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ororo: Professor-- I mean, your Excellency, please get out of the tub and get dressed. You're not well.

Professor X: Ridiculous, Lady Une. And how many times must I tell you the importance of exfoliating...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jean turned to the others and said, She's still busy with the Professor. We're going to have to do this.

screamed Evan, This is so STUPID! Why'd they have to go crazy on us?

Shuddup, Porcupine, it ain't their fault!

Yeah, well, I say we just leave em where they are and wait for them to come to their senses.

Nobody asked you! And we ain't aimin' to!

Guys, guys! interrupted Jean, Calm down. We're all a little uptight, but there's no reason to take it out on each other.

What's taking them to sick bay gonna do anyway? demanded Evan, You said it yourself, what they need is a trigger.

Ah'll give you a trigger, growled Rogue, We're takin' em to sick bay, and that's all there is to it.

We shouldn't be fighting, you guys! cried Kurt all of a sudden, It's not right!

Silence.

Uh, Kurt's lost his accent, noted Evan.

It's all my fault, sighed Kurt, I shouldn't have been playing the violin while you were getting angry at each other... Let's join forces.

No one knew what to say to this odd little speech, except a certain pudding-flinging God of Death' who had just walked in.

If you leave him alone, Quatre always takes the blame himself for everything, said Logan, I wouldn't be surprised if one day he started saying that his lack of effort is the reason there's no air in outer space.

There were confused stares on the part of Jean, Rogue, and Evan. Suddenly, up on a large monitor screen in the observation room, visible to all, appeared Kitty's face.

We at colony L3-X18-999 hereby wish to declare our independence from the Earth Sphere Unified Nation, and at the same time, declare war against the nation. My name is Mariemaia Khushrenada. I am the daughter of Treize Khushrenada. I'm carrying out my father's will.

Jean: This is a madhouse.


A/N: More out-of-character nonsense coming soon! Be sure to read Split Personalities: Gundam Wing Version by Posypanco... it's just as wonderfully corny as this one!