Disclaimer: Me? Own the X-Men and Gundam Wing characters? Nooooo..... but it could happen, right? RIGHT?? And Barbie and Ken? They were invented by some lady who may not even be around anymore, so they belong to Mattel, I guess.


Scott's VA also talks for: Trowa from Gundam Wing, the Nutcracker/Prince Eric from Barbie in the Nutcracker, and Michaelangelo from Ninja Turtles: the Next Mutation

Kurt's VA also talks for: Quatre from Gundam Wing and Maxwell from Hamtaro

Kitty's VA also talks for: Madison from Card Captors and Mariemaia Khushrenada from the Gundam Wing movie Endless Waltz

Wolverine's VA also talks for: Duo from Gundam Wing, Piccolo from DBZ, and Hermey the Elf, Yukon Cornelius, and Coach Comet from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Professor X's VA also talks for: Treize Khushrenada from Gundam Wing and Hugo the dragon from Barbie as Rapunzel

Angel's VA also talks for: Heero from Gundam Wing

Alex Summers' VA also talks for: Keroberos from Card Captors and Raphael from Ninja Turtles: the Next Mutation

Wanda's VA also talks for: Barbie from Barbie in the Nutcracker and Barbie as Rapunzel

Blob's VA also talks for: random soldiers in Gundam Wing


Split Personalities: X-Men Evolution Version, Chapter Three


cried Logan, Treize's daughter?

It's all my fault! wailed Kurt, I've taken away our only means of fighting back! It was me who suggested sending the Gundams into the sun!

. . . . said Scott

Oh, great, said the remaining three together.

History is much like an endless waltz, continued Kitty, up on the monitor, The three beats of war, peace, and revolution continue on forever. However, history will change upon the day of my coronation. I will be on the top of the Earth Sphere, and the dawn of a new age will arrive. I will rule the world.

Evan spoke up.

Okay, let's recap. The Professor's sending himself flowers, Scott's renamed himself Scott', Kurt's babbling about gundams', Logan's turned prankster, and Kitty wants to take over the planet. Can anything ELSE happen?

Suddenly, there was a tremendous jolt in the foundations of the Institute. The mutants all struggled to keep their balance. Then, the whole place was moving... downwards! Down, down they went, deep underground, until the Institute locked in place. Kitty smiled and giggled up on screen.

Now my castle is completely protected.

How'd she do that? cried Rogue incredulously.

I have no idea, said Jean, I wonder how deep underground we are.

We're probably halfway to China! exclaimed Evan, Let's stop her before she does something like that again.

I'm going after the Gundams! declared Kurt.

Alright, Quatre, said Logan, but meanwhile, we'll steal a couple of her Mobile Suits and--

She's planning to initiate Operation: Meteor, interrupted Scott.

What?! You mean she's actually gonna go through with it?

The three X-Men who had not lost their minds looked on completely bewildered.

Rogue: Operation: Meteor?

Evan: Let's not ask.

Jean: Let's just get to Kitty.

But before they could go anywhere, the danger room doors opened to reveal... the New Recruits! All decked out in pink soldier uniforms, with the letter M' stitched on one sleeve. They were giggling while trying to remain serious.

Hee, hee, laughed Jaimee, I like this training exercise.

Can it, Jaimee! shushed Bobby, then to the six older mutants before him, Surrender, interlopers!

'Surrender, interlopers?' repeated Jubilee, guffawing.

I thought it sounded, you know, dashing.

You don't want to sound dashing; you want to sound tough.

Surrender, infidel?

Too brainy.

Surrender, traitors?

shouted Jean. She had their attention. What are you doing?

Bringing you to Queen Mariemaia! they replied joyfully.

What's wrong with y'all? demanded Rogue, That's Kitty up in the control room.

Yeah, but... said Amara, confused.

But what?

Aw, Rogue, you're no fun, said Roberto, We're supposed to be roleplaying.



replied Ray, You guys are the rebels, and we're the Queen's loyal troops. We've caught you, so surrender already.

Look, man, said Evan, we're not surrendering, and this is not a training exercise. In fact--

Evan, Rogue, and Jean found themselves surrounded by Scott, Kurt, and Logan.

No problems here, Scott reported to Bobby, We were just taking care of these intruders.

mused Bobby, that's the word I was looking for!

We'll go with ya and deliver them to Queen Mariemaia personally, said Logan, saluting.

That's it! said Tabitha. She turned to the three uncooperative captives, See, Wolverine is playing along.

Being outnumbered and at a complete loss of what to do, Jean, Evan, and Rogue followed the newer X-Men out of the danger room. Logan, Scott, and Kurt brought up the rear. The former trio could hear them conversing quietly.

When we get to the control room, we'll have to stabilize the colony, whispered Scott.

No time to retrieve the Gundams now, Quatre, whispered Logan.

Camel's spit! Kurt muttered under his breath.

They arrived in the control room, and Kitty greeted them.

You can't stop me. I will be victorious. I'm carrying out my father's wishes.

You're crazy is what you are, said Rogue.

Don't make me repeat myself. I will not allow rude comments.

Kitty, please try to remember-- Jean began hopelessly.

Suddenly a masked figure appeared on all the screens in the control room. It was the winged crusader, Angel!

Wing Zero! exclaimed Kurt.

cried Jubilee, Even Angel's joining us for this one!

Let me confirm, he said, Your shelter is secure, is it?

Of course it is! declared Kitty, See for yourself how powerless you are!

Angel: Roger that.

Kitty: *gasp*

Angel flew up high and commenced dive-bombing towards the Institute, or what he could see of it, a gigantic metal shield hiding the building underneath the ground.

He's gonna self-detonate! exclaimed Logan.

What a miserable person! said Kitty, obviously afraid, He's... he's not going to be able to achieve anything!

Angel's cracked, too! said Evan, And he's suicidal!

Even the New Recruits were looking worried; their fun spoiled by too much realism. But thankfully, Angel pulled up before hitting the huge metal door.

Something's wrong, they heard him say, I can't detonate. Mission failed. I've failed.

Ororo called, rushing into the room, The Professor is alright!

What? How? asked Jean.

All he needed was a good, firm whack on the head.

Jean, Rogue, and Evan looked at each other, then looked at Kitty. Then they pounced.

Get

Hold her!

Gimme something to whack her!

Bobby, sensing that this was important, produced an ice club for them.

*Thump* Kitty was out cold (no pun intended).

Then they turned on the other three. Scott leaped up high and twisted and flipped crazily in the air, but Jean caught him with her telekinesis, and he was promptly whacked. Then it was Kurt's turn. And then, Logan's.

C'mon, Wolverine, said Evan, time to take a little rest.

Logan folded his arms. If you're joking, that's cruel, but if you're being sarcastic, that's even worse.

He was quickly silenced.

Soon, things returned to normal. Angel was cured and went home to New York City. The New Recruits apologized sheepishly to Jean, Evan, and Rogue. The team members who had been behaving so strangely were told all about the trouble they had caused and were incredulous.

But meanwhile, at the Brotherhood house...

Yessir, I will fight bravely for Oz, sir.

Blob, what're you talking about?

Roger that and good luck to you, Colonel Zechs.

Blob's gone crazy, yo.

Oh, NO!! It's a GUNDAAAAAAAAM!!



Will someone shut him up before I hex bolt him?!


A/N: Hee, hee, this is fun. (For me at least!) I've even got some reviews! Yay!! Lots more nonsense coming up. We all need a good, healthy dose of corn in our lives. And cheese. Cheese is good.