Chapter 9

Seika was dreaming. She wasn't really sure if she was, but there was that certain 'dream element' to it that one always feels when dreaming. She was flying… or at least she thought she was. The clouds were all around her like tuffs of soft cotton, and she spun herself round in circles, her hands flying at her sides and tracing lines through the clouds. She laughed in delight, feeling as though she were finally home where she belonged after so long. Her laughter was light and gentle, like the ringing of enchanted bells, and her delicate feet seemed to be drawing elegant designs on the bed of clouds as she danced.

Suddenly she felt someone's arms around her, holding her in place from behind. Not roughly, but rather gentle in a sense. And then she felt his breath on her neck; cold and warm at the same time. Fiery with passion held back with cool composure. Yue. She could but whisper his name to herself as he trailed butterfly kisses down the side of her neck, and his hands slowly traveling up her waist…

She turned around, longing to look at her beloved. She paused as her eyes met with his. These were the ones that knew her, not the cold empty grey she'd been afraid she might see. No, this was her Yue. Thrilled, she laced her fingers through his, and smiled when she could feel him. Is this… a dream? His eyes seemed to sparkle at her in acknowledgement of her doubt. His mouth formed into a gentle smile as he moved closer to her, and his hands letting go of hers and circling themselves round her body. She was shocked at first, Yue so rarely smiled. Then again, he would always smile for her.

"Does he know we're here?" she asked him playfully. Her usual questions whenever they got together.

Yue shook his head in reply. "Even if he knows, nothing he can do will take you away from me."

Seika blushed as his words. It had been so long since she last heard him say that, though it brought both comfort and distress at the same time. If he found out. But the way Yue was looking at her just then seemed to make her forget why she was even thinking along that line.

He leaned closer towards her, and her hands slid up his torso, coming to rest on his chest. She closed her eyes, feeling as if it were a miracle that she was finally home, home with Yue. His was very close now, his lips almost touching hers, when…

"Seika," he called her softly. She shook her head, not wanting to answer.

"Seika," he called her, more urgently this time. Then the world darkened, and she was forced to open her eyes. No… it can't be… it can't be just a dream. But it was too late, as she found herself staring at the ceiling. The clouds were gone, and so was Yue.

"Seika," he called her again, and she turned to look at Yue sitting beside her bed. And a very messed up bed it was, she noticed. Where am I? She was in a sitting position in an instant, looking around her. The place was in a mess; books strewn on the floor, paper everywhere, furniture toppled. Oh, she realized. This is the room Sakura-san was taken from just now. That sent a memory jolt through her. Akuma. Yes whoever that guy was, he was the one who took everything away from her. Her hands clutched the blankets fiercely as she remembered what had happened.

Yue saw the blanket starting to glow. She's going to burn it up! He realized. Grabbing her hands, he pulled them off the blanket. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Huh?" Seika said as if she had just been slapped back into reality. She looked at him blankly. Then her gaze traveled down to his hands that were holding on to hers.

Seeing her confusion, Yue withdrew his hands. "Gomen, but you were about to burn up the bed," he explained. It seemed strange that she wasn't even aware of what she was doing.

"Oh," she said. "Anou… arigatou." Then her eyes were filled with the same sadness Yue had seen before. She looked at him like a lost child, innocent and alone.

It was a little hard to tear himself away from her gaze, but when he managed to, Yue recalled what he was assigned to do. "Seika," he began, unsure of himself but refusing to show it, "are you short of energy?"

Seika looked away from him. A moment passed before she spoke. "Yes," she said plainly. "My energy source is running out."

"Tell me, who are you?" asked Yue.

"I'm Seika," she answered, refusing to look at him for fear it would break her heart. To be with someone as fond of her as Yue, and then have him act as if he didn't know her at all was quite a blow, even if she did have a faint idea that this wasn't her home. She stared out the broken window instead. It was still dark, and the stars were lingering in the night sky, blinking back at her as she looked at them. "I'm the Guardian of the Stars, Clow's third guardian and last creation."

Yue was stunned. Clow created her and I didn't know? How was it so? Thousands of questions filled his head in an instant, and he was quite at a loss of what to ask her next. Pull yourself together, he reprimanded himself. Sakura-sama asked you to do this, and you better do a good job of it. "Where are you from then? And how come you only made your appearance now?"

Again she was silent. This time the silence dragged on, and Yue was beginning to think she wasn't going to answer. Then in the moonlight, he saw a sparkling crystal travel down her face. She was crying again. "Seika," he called her, getting off the chair and moving to sit on the bed next to her. Finally she turned round to face him.

Yue felt uneasy. The way she was looking at him was as if she was mirroring the same look that he had. Her expression was calm, except for that betraying teardrop on her cheek. Yet her eyes were alive with emotions, just like his. There was just something about her, that was urging him reach out and take her in his arms. But his body seemed to move against him even as he lifted his arm. It dropped right flat onto the bed as before. Why couldn't he convince his stubborn self to just accept her love for him? Wasn't this what he wanted for so long? To be loved and accepted? Even when Clow was alive, he never really loved him the way Yue loved him. His affection was never returned, never an intimate moment with him. Always he was brushed aside. In the end the truth was obvious; Clow left him easily. And it hurt. It still did, though the pain was slowly fading over the years from since the time he was awoken.

His hand was lifting higher off the bed even without him knowing. She loves me. Yue knew how it felt to be rejected, and he would be doing the same to Seika by not responding to her in the least. His hand touched hers. Touch: something important in every relationship. How he longed for it behind the walls of his other self. Though he felt everything when Touya was with Yukito, it wasn't the same. The one who was receiving the affection wasn't him. It was Yukito, always Yukito. But Yue knew better. He was the one who was holding back. He was afraid… afraid to be rejected again. The hurt that came along with it was more than he could bear. To have to feel it a second time would be…

To his surprise, Seika was on him, hugging him. Yue stiffened, unsure of what to do. Unused to the feel of someone on him.

Then she spoke again. "I'm dying, Yue… I'm dying…"

"No you're not." The words escaped from his mouth as uncontrollable as a sneeze or a cough, and Yue was shocked at himself.

Despite his words, Seika started to cry harder. Yue found himself stroking her back comfortingly as she buried her face in the crook of his neck, and her hands tangling themselves in his silver strands of hair. "Shhh…" he whispered to her, placing his hand on her back. "Daijoubu."

Then her body came to a still, and he felt her weight rest against him. "Seika?" he called worriedly.

No answer.

He pulled her away from himself to look at her. Her limp body sagged lifelessly against him. "Seika!" he called her, shaking her to try and wake her up. Her head tilted down, and her eyes stayed closed. To his horror, Yue looked down and saw that her hand was fading. No its impossible, isn't the star capable of producing its own energy? Apparently it wasn't doing so as he laid her down on the bed again and saw that her body was beginning to fade as well. He could see right through to the sheets.

Yue knew if he didn't do something now, she could very well vanish into nothingness. And no, Sakura would not be too proud if he let that happen. There was only one thing he could do now that would save her for the time being…

*~*~*~*~*

Seika felt herself falling. Everything was black, making her unable to gauge any distances. Her arms reached up in hopes of grabbing something to stop her fall, but there was nothing to hold onto except the cold empty space. So is this what it feels like to die? There was no pain, no sorrow, for she could think of nothing that would hold her back from the inevitable. This had been the moment she'd been waiting for ever since she took off from planet Eden. A guardian cannot be killed by ordinary means; instead, it had to use up its energy before it dies. For this cause, Seika had traveled as a wandering star, in hopes that she would burn out her energy sooner or later. The protective layer formed around her used a great amount of energy, especially when leaving the planet. She was quite sure she would disappear in time. And even though she never expected to land anywhere, the blast she gave just now to Akuma must have used up the last of her energy.

In a flash her life had lost its reason to carry on. That day when the battle took place, and the loss she'd experienced when she found Yue dead with her loyal friend Cerberus beside him, and when she found the fatally wounded Clow. He could have lasted longer, but he gave up his last powers to her, for she was directly dependant on him for survival like Yue. Though it was true that stars produce their own energy like the sun does, there was supposed to be something she had to do to unlock her power. It was something only she could do, Clow couldn't have helped in any way. Too late anyway… her death wish was being granted.

At first she was furious at whoever had killed them. But revenge was not on her mind at that time. All she wanted to do was to be back with her family. Grief overtook her anger, as she was never really made to be a vicious creature, but rather one of love. Naturally there was the problem of how to rejoin them since they had passed on, and she was unable to raise them.

For so long she had been the object of attention between her fellow guardian Yue and her creator Clow. She never knew why Clow had taken to her so… affectionately, as though she had been someone important to him before but she just couldn't remember. But every kiss she shared with him was forced. He never forced it upon her, but it was she who forced herself to respond to him, for her heart already belonged to the moon guardian. She couldn't let Clow know, for he was her master and creator. They had to keep their relationship in secret for fear that it would anger him, since Clow seemed to expect her to love him from the day she was made. She was betraying her heart with every moment she spent with Clow, and it hurt both her and Yue.

She didn't know how or why, but she and Yue were attracted to each other the first time they met. She always felt at peace when she was with him; he made her happy. But the more time she spent with Clow, the more confused she became. The line between master and servant, friend and lover, was becoming blurred.

She did develop emotions for Clow after some time, but they would never pass the ones shared between friends. She wished things could have lasted longer. She wished that everything did not end when they did. Perhaps things would've turned out differently with time, but she was never able to find out.

"Doushite?" she remembered herself asking as she knelt before the broken body of the once great magician, Clow.

"It's my time, angel. But you must go on. He wants you and he won't stop till he has you."

"Dare? Who wants me? I don't understand, my master."

"You must go on… promise me, Seika. Please…"

"I-I promise."

"Now… now I will give you the last of what I have." He coughed weakly, then with some difficulty, reached up and placed his hand on her shoulder. From the point of contact, she felt a warmth spread over her body, which was still weak after she broke through the sphere. Slowly she could feel herself regaining her strength, and then his hand slid off her shoulder and fell to the ground.

"Clow-sama," she whispered his name. But he had died, giving his last life energy to her. How she wished then that her tears would be able to bring them back, that the hands of time would reverse themselves. A gentle breeze washed over the area, sweeping past the debris and carrying with it the long lost spirits of the battle. All gone… it was all gone.

All that didn't matter now. She was going home; she was going to be with them again. She did feel guilty at not being able to keep her promise, but what did it matter? Not when she was would be finally reunited with them. He would forgive her; she knew he would. The time was coming, and even in spirit form, she couldn't feel the lower half of her body anymore. Her body was getting numb, limb-by-limb. Seika wondered how much longer she would continue falling… maybe, until I cannot feel myself anymore? Well the numbness had taken over most of her body by now, creeping over her like a wicked vine on a post. Soon almost all of her was given up to the unknown forces of the underworld, and now it was starting up her neck to the last remaining part of her body. She closed her eyes, surrendering to her fate. This is it…

Just then she felt that warmth again, like how she felt when Clow gave his life energy to her. But how is it possible? Clow-sama is dead… As if denying her thoughts, the warm feeling was spreading itself out from her chest and over her frozen body. Her senses were returning to her arms and legs. How…? She realized she wasn't falling anymore; instead she was lying on something soft. Seika closed her hands on whatever was beneath her, to find that she was clutching the smooth material of the bed sheets.

If I'm back on the bed, then what happened? Mustering up her courage, she opened an eye to take a peek of where she was. The warm feeling was still coming from above her, and her body felt like it was on fire. Her eyes flew open at the revelation of her lifesaver.

Yue!

There crouched above her was the moon guardian, supporting his weight on his hands at each side of her head and trying not to let his body come in contact with hers. So he was the one giving me the energy. Well actually he still was. The strain was showing on his face, as he got weaker in turn.

"Yue," her lips silently mouthed his name. She reached up and gently placed her hand on his face. His eyes opened at her touch, startled yet relieved at the same time. "Daijoubu," she said.

Immediately Yue stopped the energy transfer and got off from that position, and was content to sit edge of the bed. The shock was more that he could imagine. It was good that she was fine now, but while giving her his energy, he was able to see into her memory. It was a side effect of energy transfers between guardians. It could only be done with guardians sharing the same form, thus the last time he was in need of energy, Cerberus was unable to help him. He was reluctant at first to go through with it because of this side effect. He was afraid of what he might see. Yue wasn't exactly excited with the fact that he might see his former master again; it would bring up feelings he had been trying to get over for some time. It would've reopened the wound in his heart, and Yue wasn't prepared for that.

But when he saw Seika fading before his sight, his conscience got the better of him. He never expected to see what he saw though. He did not see Clow at all, instead he saw himself with Seika, almost as if they were a couple from the beginning. He couldn't accept that, it was impossible! Clow was his first love.

Yue shook his head in disbelief, getting more confused with each of her passing memories as they crossed his mind like some flash show. There he was, holding hands and flying with her. There he was again, sitting with her on the roof, staring at the stars together. And there he was… kissing her… He shut his eyes, hoping he wouldn't see anymore, but they still went on. Then he felt a hand on his.

"Arigatou gozaimasu… for saving me. You could've chosen not to, but you did. Thank you."

Yue turned to look at Seika. His eyes locked with hers again, and he couldn't help but feel she was in a way, part of Clow as well. She smiled gratefully at him, melting some of the ice collected around his heart. Could it be that her memories were lost memories of his as well?

*~*~*~*~*

Eriol yawned and stretched. Looking up at the clock with sleep-laden eyes, he saw it was still some time from dawn. Spinel Sun was asleep on the floor beside him. He knew the sun guardian needed no actual rest, but he was probably just bored. Cerberus lay at the foot of the bed Sakura was sleeping on, awake and fully alert. Eriol chuckled lightly; careful not to wake Syaoran whom he supposed had long dozed off still holding on to Sakura's hand.

The sun guardians were a little amusing; they seemed to have changed places unknowingly. Eriol would've expected to see Cerberus sleeping, instead it was Spinel Sun who was snoring quietly on the floor. Cerberus certainly has grown fond of the little star mistress. That was good of course, after all it pays up for the cold shoulder Yue was always giving her.

Tomoyo was fast asleep across Ruby moon's lap. Those two…, thought Eriol. It had become obvious over time how much Nakuru loved spending time with Tomoyo. Both of them had a thing for fashion. He looked at his moon guardian sitting on the couch opposite his. He could tell she was probably watching him as he slept a moment ago. Despite her clumsy ditsy actions, Ruby moon was actually quite a caring character. Or actually the clumsy actions part belonged to her false form, Nakuru. In some ways, Ruby moon reminded him of Kaho.

Kaho.

Just the thought of her made him long to see her again. For her to tell him that what she said wasn't true, that there was hope for both of them. But looking at the gentle-looking Tomoyo as she slept, he could feel the ongoing conflict in his heart.

He sighed, earning a concerned look from Ruby moon. "Is something wrong master?" she asked.

"No," he said wearily, "I think I'm going to write a letter while waiting," maybe Kaho would talk better in a letter, he added to himself. "By the way, have you seen Yue?"

"Yue? Why no I haven't. He flew back before me carrying that Seika guardian. I haven't seen him since then."

"Carrying her? Why?"

"Well she fainted along the way," Ruby moon said simply.

"Fainted? Hm…" Eriol rubbed his hand over his chin. The only way a guardian could 'faint' would be if it experiences energy loss. He knew he was right to say then that Seika probably 'fainted' because of the fight she put up earlier. Shooting such powerful orbs was sure to be strenuous on any guardian.

As if on call, Yue came in a second later, followed by Seika.

"She hasn't woken yet has she?" he asked Eriol.

"No."

Silence followed as Yue looked upon the sleeping face of his mistress. Eriol would've wanted to leave him alone, but regretfully he had to ask him about Seika.

"Yue," he called, motioning for the moon guardian to come to him. "What happened just now?" he asked as soon as Yue was close enough to hear his whisper.

"She fainted, and I brought her back. I gave her an energy transfer later," he answered briefly. Eriol knew there was probably something more to it that caused Yue to give such a short description. Then again, silence had always been his armor. He wouldn't have been able to get anything more out of him even if he tried.

Fine then… I'll have to ask the guardian myself. "Seika, could I speak to you in private?" he asked her.

The beautiful guardian turned to look at him and nodded slightly in reply. Eriol then got up from his seat and lead her into a separate room, closing the door to make sure no one could hear them. This was going to be a little harder than he imagined. For one thing, he didn't know her at all. For another thing, she was very likely to be linked to something of Clow's past which he wasn't aware of.

"Seika, where did you get that gem from?" he began cautiously, not wanting to frighten her off.

"Why this?" she asked, fingering the large amber coloured gem on her chest. "Clow-sama gave it to me after he created me."

There. He knew it! The gem wasn't created with her; it was given to her afterward. Now for the second question, "May I see it please?"

"… Hai," she answered to Eriol's relief as she detached the gem from her halter and passed it to him. Eriol examined the yellow stone closely, counting on his magic skills to help him, for the naked eye could never spot anything indifferent about this stone. As he had expected, the gem aged back to Clow's time. Probably in his younger days too. Which would be when he got married, Eriol added mentally.

"Is there something wrong with it?" Seika asked curiously.

"No, there's nothing wrong with the gem," Eriol told her calmly, handing the stone back to her. "I must ask you something else very important now. Can you answer me as honestly as you can?"

Seika nodded.

"Were you once… Clow's wife?"

*~*~*~*~*

Translations
Doushite: why
Dare: who
Daijoubu: I'm fine
Hai: yes

Scribbles
Gosh you don't know how tired I am at the moment. *stares blankly at the clock* oh great. 1.30am. This is so far, the longest chapter I've written yet, and I hope you're quite satisfied with it. *yawns* aherm anyway... I haven't been putting in much Japanese lately as I'm getting a tad too lazy, and besides some people seem to be reading my fic just to criticize my translations rather than to tell me about the story itself. Well if you're one of them and reading this right now, I'm sorry but keep your comments to yourself. It's not like I don't know a thing about Japanese, and besides the language was never made to be translated into English so there is NO 'correct' spelling of the romanji. I only do this because I think it brings out the life of the story a little better as Cardcaptor Sakura is a Japanese story.

Well I guess I shall end off here before my dad comes in and chops off my head. Do review and tell me what u think of the STORY and not my translations. ^_^ for those who have told me that my story's 'good' so far, thanks. You've really been a source of encouragement cuz I do feel my writing does suck. Anyway, yes as I was saying, I'd better jam now before my dad maked jam outa me. Ja ne!!