Home Truths
Steve moved over towards the doorway to Eliana's trauma room, and stood uncertainly outside it. He wasn't used to being a stranger in a hospital, and he didn't want to go anywhere he shouldn't be.
As he stood there the double doors opened, and the small gurney was wheeled out. A different nurse to the one he had spoken to before moved up towards him. She was wearing a dinosaur badge with the name Nancy on it. "Hi, are you Mr. Travis?"
"No, Ma'am, I'm Lieutenant Steve Sloan, I found Eliana, but I am also her godfather. How is she?"
"Not well, but I think she will be fine after a few days in the ICU. She is on a ventilator to help her congested lungs; she is receiving antibiotics for the same reason. Do you know when her parents will be here?"
"No, there is a slight problem there, but I will stay with her until then… ah, if that is all right with you?"
Nancy looked at the tall man in front of her, and she could see that he was as concerned as she would expect any parent to be. "I guess 'no' wouldn't be an answer you would want to hear, huh?"
"Not really, she needs someone with her, there isn't anybody else right now, so I would like it to be yes."
"Ok, and I guess it will negate the need for a police guard on the door."
"Yeah, it will. Oh, when Agent Wagner gets here, could you direct him to the ICU? He was the coordinating FBI agent while we were trying to find her."
The nurse smiled at the detective and nodded. As she turned to go back into her trauma suite Steve spoke up again. "Ah, could you tell me which way I need to go to get to the ICU?"
Still smiling the nurse pointed up to the brightly coloured signs hanging from the ceiling. "You could try following the directions, Lieutenant, straight down to the end, turn right, and you can't miss."
Steve waved his appreciation and then began to follow the directions he had just received. In a few minutes he was walking over to where he could see Eliana's tiny form. He pulled up a chair and sank gratefully into it, he could see that she was either asleep or unconscious, he wasn't sure which, and that she was wired up to a heart monitor, and on a ventilator, but the nurse had said that she would be all right, and he had to believe that. Steve looked around a moment, suddenly unsure of himself, and then he leant over and ran his finger down the smooth soft cheek of his goddaughter.
Jo and Amanda sat in the hallway of Community General for just over ten minutes, and then almost to the second both women stood up.
"I can't stand all this inactivity, I am goin' to go an' try to find Jesse. Amanda you will need to be gettin' home to your boys in a little while, I will contact you when I find him, an' trust me I will find him."
Amanda had checked her watch, and had been surprised to find that it was just after four in the afternoon. "I hadn't realised the time, and I have no sitter tonight, so yeah, I do need to be going. Thank you Jo, you'll keep in touch with Steve too won't you?"
"Of course I will, you know that."
As they moved closer to the elevator the friends looked into Rae's room and could see that she was fast asleep. Doctor Collins had put the brace back onto her neck, and they knew that in the morning, that was another problem that would have to be addressed.
Jesse had no idea how long he had been sitting in the park, but he felt a shiver run through him and he suddenly realised that he needed to get back into the warm. He might live in Southern California, but the nights were chilly in December, and the sun was going down. He got stiffly to his feet, and feeling a little disoriented looked around him, trying to work out which was the quickest way back to Community General. He slowly walked back the way he had come; swinging his arms back and forwards to try and warm himself up.
Half an hour later he still wasn't at the hospital, but he reckoned that in about ten minutes he would be. As he turned yet another corner a car drew up next to him and the window came down. "Jesse Travis, where have you been? I've spent the last hour an' a half drivin' around tryin' to find you."
"Jo, what, what? Has something happened, have they found her, is it Rae? Oh, God, Jo?" Jesse couldn't seem to stop talking; his words kept falling over themselves.
"Honey, just get in the car an' I can tell you. You look frozen to the bone."
By the time they got back to the hospital Jesse was worried, frantic, relieved, happy and furious all at the same time. He couldn't believe that he had stormed out of the hospital at the very time that his daughter had been found, he had checked his cell phone after Jo had told him how often they had been calling him, and as everybody had though the low battery light was flashing. Jo parked her car and he rushed out of it through the main doors, up in the elevator and was spotted by the police officer on guard before Jo had even managed to get half way to the same destination.
Jesse had moved into his wife's room and sitting in the chair next to her head he had leant over and brushed her hair off her face. She had been through so much in the last few weeks, and he knew that what he had said to her today had made things worse. Jesse looked at the brace that was round her neck, and realised, belatedly, that he had planned to put that back on her himself. She looked so peaceful lying there, and he wished that her life would remain that way forever, but by the morning he knew that she would be plunged back into the nightmare that had, for the last two years, followed her wherever she went.
Once Ron had arrived at the door to Valley's ICU Steve had stood up and leaving Eliana for just a few minutes the men had talked in the hallway.
"I don't think that either the housekeeper or the Priest had any idea what Willis was doing, or what she had done. They hadn't heard from her in ten years." Ron shook his head. He had thought that Father Miles was gonna have a heart attack when he began to explain how they were so sure that the baby was the missing child.
"They are both at the station now making statements, but apart from gullibility and stupidity I don't think we can charge them with anything. Officer Nox called through to me and Mrs. Reeves is going to go identify the body of her daughter. Seems that once they had told her father that she was actually dead he refused to say another word, and it was the mother who had come down and talked about her daughter with something almost akin to affection. Makes you wonder doesn't it, how different her life would have been if she had been loved and cared for as a young woman?" Ron shook his head and thought of Amanda's children. They had the supposed disadvantage of being part of a single parent family, but everything that they did was appreciated or explained, and both boys knew that whatever happened they were loved, wanted and respected. Maybe Steve was right, nothing was insurmountable if you wanted it badly enough.
"… I said, did you find anything of Willis's to show what her plans were?" Steve tapped his friend on the shoulder and felt him jump under his touch.
"Sorry. No, but I packed up the few bits and pieces she had and they are being shipped back to LA. Did you get hold of Jesse?"
"No, but Jo said she would keep trying. You can't have your cell on in the ICU, so I have been hoping that before long he would just turn up here."
"Ok, I'm gonna take everything back to LA, get things tied up that end. If we want to keep Rae out of jail then all the information we have gathered needs to be in the hands of her lawyer and the DA. We don't have a suspect to take back with us any more remember."
"Yeah, well, I'm going back in to sit with Eliana. I don't plan to leave her alone again until her mommy or daddy get here."
"Her mommy or daddy? Boy, Sloan, you have got this parenthood thing real bad. Next thing you know we will be calling you Daddy." Ron had been joking, but as soon as he saw the look on his friend's face, he knew that it wasn't something to laugh at, but to make plans for.
Jesse had begun to talk to Rae, even though he knew that she couldn't hear him. "Honey, they have her. Steve found her, just like you said he would. I was wrong, but it wasn't because I wanted anything to happen to her, I was… I guess I was just trying to prepare myself, and you, for what could happen. Rae, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I have to go in a while, to be with our little girl, but I love you Rae, and I promise you I will bring her home to you, as soon as I can." He had sat there in silence then, waiting for the traffic that he knew would be heavy around the city to lessen so that he could get to their daughter without too many hold ups.
It was seven o'clock before Jesse left the hospital and climbed into his car. He tried Steve's cell phone, but could get no reply. He left him a voice mail to tell him what time he hoped to arrive and then, putting on a loud CD to help him on his way, he pulled out into the ever-lightening traffic.
By the following morning the world had changed slightly. Steve was still in Fresno, but now Jesse was with him. Both men had managed some sleep as they had taken it in turns to watch over the child they had feared was lost. Ron had arrived back in LA late the previous evening, and was trying to arrange some Christmas leave, an appointment with the assistant DA, and get some shopping done. Mark was due back in the hospital for a check up, and so Michael was planning to bring him in around two. Shannon had spent a peaceful night in her own bed, as had Amanda, once she had spent a little longer than usual enjoying the company of her children. Rae and Alex had slept peacefully thanks to the influence of the sedation and Eliana had slowly got the adult cough mixture out of her system, her vital functions had moved back up into their normal range, and her doctor was planning to remove the ventilator and monitors by the end of the day.
So when it got to just after nine and Rae began to stir, the only person who was really suffering was Jo. Unable to leave Rae to sleep alone, even though she had known that her friend wouldn't wake, she had spent the night in a chair. As Rae opened her eyes she saw Texas looking out of the window and trying to straighten her spine at the same time. As Rae began to regain her senses she felt the unwelcome presence of the brace round her neck, and let out an involuntary gasp.
"Rae, Honey, it's all right, Doctor Collins put that back on you because he is worried about your neck an' shoulder injuries. He will come see you this mornin' an' evaluate everythin' again."
"Jesse, Texas, where is Jesse?"
"Shhh, listen to me Rae, an' I will tell you everythin'." Jo had watched as Rae had fixed her eyes on her. "Ok?" Rae had tried to nod, but the pain rushed across her tired and almost gaunt features, and Jo could see how much everything was affecting her best friend. "Honey, Jesse is in Fresno, they've found her."
"Oh…" Rae looked at her and as the tears rushed into her eyes she began to speak again. "Texas, is she … is she…?"
"She's gonna be fine, she has a chest infection, an' she was poorly overnight, but I spoke to Steve this mornin' just before you woke up, an' she is doing well now. The doctor is real pleased with her."
"Texas, please, I don't care how much it hurts, I just need someone to hold me so much." Rae couldn't speak any more as the tears began to flow. She took air in gulps, and the pain in her neck, shoulders and ribs coursed through her. Trying to ignore it she pushed herself up and a little forward in her bed but even that tiny movement was too much for her and she collapsed back onto the firm and reassuring surface of her bed.
"Once Doctor Collins has seen you, an' I can speak to him I will ask what we can do about gettin' you that hug, ok?" Jo had to hold the tears back herself, she couldn't begin to imagine how Rae must be feeling, and not to be able to have physical contact apart from holding the hand of a friend must be just awful.
Steve had gone down the hallway to put a call through to his dad before he started off to have his examination and once Mark had got over the amusement he felt at Steve telling him all the things he normally had to tell his son he had agreed to listen to everything that was told him, and not to expect to be back at work within the next two weeks. Steve had put his phone away with a smile, the irony of the situation wasn't lost on him now that everything else seemed to be going to plan, but he knew that he still owed an apology to Tony, and to Jesse and especially Rae for thinking even for a second that she had actually attacked his father. These thoughts were buzzing through his head as he walked back down the hallway, but they disappeared in a flash as he heard Jesse's raised voice travelling to meet him.
"Look, she's my daughter, I don't want her treated here, I want to take her back to Community General. We can look after her just as well there."
"I realise the strain you have been under… Let me finish, Doctor Travis … but I will not sign this patient over into your care for at least another twenty-four hours, good God man, you're a doctor, I'm sure you wouldn't let someone else's child travel in her condition. So why are you even thinking about it for your own flesh and blood?"
Steve decided that he had better make his presence felt. Jesse had been under a lot of pressure, and although he could understand him wanting to get Eliana back to LA as soon as possible, this hospital was for children, and it had all the state of the art equipment you could ever wish for right under the one roof. Jesse was being short sighted in wanting to remove his daughter from their care yet. He walked up to his friend and began to speak.
"Jess, I think we need a word."
"Not now, Steve, I'm busy."
"Yes, now, before you have more time on your hands than you know what to do with." Steve knew that if he didn't intervene the doctor could well ask Jesse to leave the ICU and then he would have no contact at all with his daughter.
The other doctor, whose name was Doctor Hernandez, smiled briefly at Steve and watched with relief as Jesse nodded slightly and followed Steve out into the hallway.
"Jesse, listen to me."
"Steve, I just want to get her home. We can treat her at Community General … I can treat her there…" Jesse stopped talking as he saw Steve shake his head.
"Jess, look around you. This is a dedicated children's hospital, one of the finest in the West, it's only been open for five years. Jesse, Eliana is in the best place right now, if Louise Willis had taken her someplace other than Fresno she might not still be alive, she crashed in the ambulance Jess, but it was a paediatric unit and they were able to revive her. I know you want to get back to Rae and take Eliana with you, but you can't, not today, probably not tomorrow either, but soon, buddy, real soon."
"Steve, I know, and I'm sorry. I just want to take her home. I don't want to lose sight of her ever again." As he spoke Steve realised that the whole time they had been out in the hallway, Jesse had been only half looking at him, his heart was in the ICU, and as Steve stood he watched with a sigh as his friend rushed back to his daughter's side.
By the time Wil Collins had checked on Alex and announced himself delighted with the young man's progress it was half past ten. He moved on into Rae's room, and stood for a second in the doorway watching her. Jo Walters was sitting with her back to the door, and she had her hand over Rae's. By her other hand he could see that she had a photo of her daughter, but she wasn't looking at it, in fact the picture was lying on the bedcovers, and because Rae was lying flat on her back once again, all she could see was the ceiling.
Wil tapped on the door and then entered; putting on a cheerful demeanour he didn't really feel. "Good morning, ladies, and how are we this morning?"
"Doctor Collins, what are you doing here?" Rae wasn't trying to be rude or difficult, but so much of her hurt that being polite was just beyond her.
"For the time being you are my patient. You had better be nice to me; we're running out of doctors to treat you. I'm your third one in as many days." Wil smiled, but he could see from Rae's reaction that he wasn't going to get a pleasant word out of her during this session.
"Ah, I think I will just go an' have me a little visit with Alex. Honey, I'll call through to Valley an' get some news on Eliana before I come back, ok?"
"Ok, thanks, Texas."
Wil looked at the woman in front of him, and he was shocked by her appearance. He knew that she had been in bed for a while, but her face was gaunt, and she had appearance of someone who had stopped caring, and she certainly didn't look like someone who had just received good news.
"I am gonna start at the top and work my way down. I crept in last night and took your chart so that I could catch up on what Alex and Jesse had done, so I am up to speed. You have a brachial plexus injury to your shoulders and neck, and I can see that Alex had you in the MRI suite before you injured your ribs. The results are quite encouraging; I think that with extensive physical therapy you will probably get all the movement back in your right arm in the end. The nerves don't appear to have been damaged to such an extent that they won't recover. I'm not sure about the left arm yet, it is a little early to say."
"But why does it hurt so much? I can't move my left arm, although I can just move my hand and my fingers. My right arm will move but when I actually do so the pain shoots through me like fire. And … and I can't even tell you about the brace, please take it off." As Rae began to speak about the contraption around her neck the panic began to rise in her.
"Rae, if I take that off you then you may inadvertently damage yourself more, and you could end up paralysed. Once the swelling has reduced I will consider removing it, but you may have to wear it for a considerable period of time."
"No … no, I can't." Rae's voice came out as a whisper, and she shut her eyes.
"Ok, moving on down." Wil could see that he wasn't going to be able to talk rationally to his patient about the neck brace, and so he decided that for the moment at least he would move on. "I'm sure that you feel as if your middle has been run over by a train. You had three broken ribs, according to the x-ray that Jesse took, and one of them punctured your lung. You still have the vacuum device attached but that can be removed real soon. I will take you to be x-rayed later today so that I can check the re-expansion of your lung, but from Jesse's notes I would think that it is all going according to plan." Wil paused. The part of Rae's notes that had worried him the most were next. "Do you know how you hurt your knees?"
Rae thought for a moment. "No. I know that I hurt them when I was in jail, but I don't know how. I don't know how I hurt my neck either."
"You have what is called a PCL injury to your left knee, the right one is just badly bruised. But I have to say that this could take as long to sort out as your neck. I would imagine that you are in considerable pain right now, and I will sort out a long-term pain relief program for you, because you are gonna need it. I don't know what period of time Doctor Martin suggested it would take for your neck injury to heal, but your knee could take up to eighteen months on its own."
"Eighteen months? Oh my life just keeps getting better and better." Rae could feel the tears behind her eyes, but she was determined she would not cry. Not yet, not until she was alone.
"I am going to need to treat your knee injury, but first of all I would like another MRI done. So I have booked it for two this afternoon, and we will go and sort that out then. Now, I would imagine that you would like to be able to see the rest of the world, so I will raise your bed for you."
"No!" Rae spoke far more sharply than she had intended and Doctor Collins stopped dead in his tracks. "No, leave the bed as it is. I have a lot to think about, I don't want to see the world, and to be honest I would rather it couldn't see me either. Do you think you could shut the blinds on your way out?"
"Not yet, I can't, but I may consider it, however, it isn't good for you to be laying flat all the time, so I am going to raise the bed slightly before I leave. If you don't want to watch what's happening around you, you can shut your eyes. As I said I will come collect you to go to the MRI suite for two o'clock. I also want you to see Lauren Yung, I have arranged that for nine tomorrow morning."
"Who is Lauren Young?"
"No, Yung, she is the lady who is taking over all of Brian Dobson's patients. She is a very nice lady, and she's looking forward to meeting with you."
"No!" Once again Rae shouted out. "I won't see her. I have seen Brian for two years, I can't start over, she… she won't understand me like he does. I want to see Brian." Rae was aware that she sounded like a petulant child, but she didn't care. She couldn't even contemplate starting out with a new therapist, there was just no way.
"Rae, Alex spoke to Brian, he wanted him to come in and see you, before you were attacked. He refused."
"You're lying."
"Rae! Why would I do that?" Wil was shocked, but more than that he was concerned. The detective seemed to be incapable of bending towards his judgement or decision making at all. The last time he had treated her, she had been stubborn, and very fragile, but he hadn't seen her as narrow minded, or irrational, but he had a feeling that the underlying problem at the moment was that she had so much on her mind that she was unable to cope with anything new being told her.
"I don't know, and I'm sorry." Rae turned her head slightly and Wil watched as he saw the pain evident in her eyes.
"I think that you need to see someone, and yes, ideally Brian would be the person to see. I'm sorry he is unwilling to be here, but Rae, he was under the impression that you had killed his nurse…" Wil stopped talking as he saw Rae's expression.
"He thought I did that? He thought I was guilty. And that man, that funny little man who used to see him… Did he think I killed him too? My God, no wonder he doesn't want to see me… He loved her, you could see it in his eyes." Rae stopped talking. Her voice hadn't risen above a horrified whisper the entire time she had talked about Brian, and she had gradually just run out of words to say. "Why do people want to destroy me and the people that I love, or respect? I can't understand that? All I have ever wanted to do is protect those people who can't protect themselves. Keep them safe, so that they know they can work or play or whatever, and someone will be out there helping to keep them… keep them safe."
"I can't answer that question, I wish I could, but maybe Doctor Yung can. Lauren will be here tomorrow. I hope you will at least give her a chance to help you. I'll try to talk to Brian, but I don't think I will have that much luck."
"No, no, don't. I don't want to put him in a position where he feels pressured into seeing me. I, I will see Lauren, and I will try to like her."
"Rae, I want to help you, I know that you have lost most of the stability in your life. Your doctor is lying in the next room, your therapist, well we just talked about him, your husband and your daughter are about six hours away from here in another hospital, and you are unable to work at the job you love right now, but slowly, if everybody pulls together we will get your life back onto some sort of even keel."
Rae had smiled then, and looked at the doctor in front of her with an embarrassed smile. "Thank you, and I'm sorry. My life stinks right now, and I don't know how to handle it, but that doesn't give me the right to take it out on you."
"Now, I am going to raise your bed a little." Wil hoped that she wouldn't argue.
"No, please, not yet. I need to think and try to get my thoughts into some sort of order. When I come back from my visit to the open ended coffin then I'll have my bed put up."
Wil thought a moment, and then smiled. "That would be the MRI I guess. Ok, for now the bed stays down, but when we get back from our visit, to what did you call it? The open ended coffin?" He stopped talking for a moment and saw a small smile on Rae's face, "then it goes up. So, the bed is down, and the blind?" The smile disappeared, and Wil knew that he was going to be disappointed again.
"Down please."
Wil shook his head, but he was true to his word, and he left the bed as it was, and as he went out of the room he twisted the stick attached to the side of the blind and closed the slats. "There, it is down, but the same rules apply to the blind as the bed, MRI, then they both go up." As he left Wil went into Alex's room and told Jo that for the next half hour or so Rae was to be left alone, but after that if she would be so kind, he would be grateful if she could put her head round the door just to make sure she was coping with her emotions and not turning in on herself.
Jo nodded, and then turned back to Alex. They had been discussing how Rae was going to handle everything that had happened in her life, and now it seemed that for roughly the next thirty minutes they had their answer.
Ron finally managed to get an appointment with the assistant DA at three in the afternoon. By the time he got there he had at least had a couple of hours to buy the most important of his Christmas presents. Rose Marie Moureau had stood as he entered her office, and indicated a chair for him. When she greeted him in a French accent, he realised that, considering her name, he shouldn't have been surprised and it was probably a very effective tool in her line of work.
"Good afternoon, Agent Wagner, how can I help you?"
"Well, um, I have brought back all the information we collected in Fresno, that is, ah, Steve, Lieutenant Sloan, and myself." Ron stopped speaking and gave himself a mental slap. He knew he was tired, but there was something about the way the assistant DA was smiling at him, and he noticed the way that her eyes sparkled as she spoke.
"I know the Lieutenant quite well, and Detective Yeager, I am very sorry that all of this has happened."
Ron found it hard to believe that this woman was maybe flirting with him and so he put on his best FBI voice. "Did you get the forensic evidence from Doctor Bentley about the knife?"
"I did, and I believe…" Rose Marie snapped her fingers. "I believe that is where I have heard your name before. You bought the knives, with Doctor Bentley, as a wedding present for Detective Yeager and Doctor Travis, didn't you?"
"Yeah, we did. She told you about that?"
Rose Marie laughed then, and the sound tinkled across the room. "Yes, Agent Wagner, the information was all in her report. I know that she feels very guilty about it now, but she said that at the time it was just a joke." So she knew who he was and still she flirted with him. He thought about telling Amanda, for about half a second, and then decided it was a very bad idea.
"We thought it was funny, a pathologist and an FBI agent buying a doctor and a cop knives for a wedding present." Ron shook his head. He wasn't naïve enough to think that if they hadn't bought them it wouldn't have happened, but he could understand why Amanda felt guilty, he did too.
"I am planning to go to see Detective Yeager myself in the morning, I need to see whether she is fit to attend her arraignment. I can probably get the charges dropped without her having to attend, but I need to see her first."
"I have spoken to Rae… ah, Detective Yeager's lawyer, and he has the same set of information as you."
"I have also spoken to Gilbert today, and he let me know what it was you would be bringing me. It is unfortunate that you could not bring me Louise Willis also."
Ron felt his temper rise for a second. It sounded as if Ms Moureau was blaming him for the death of their murderer. Leaning forward in his chair, his eyes blazing Ron managed to keep his voice quite and businesslike. "She had no intention of being captured, and she ran straight under a car. Just thank God she didn't have the child with her."
"I think it is you who should be doing that, Agent Wagner, you and Lieutenant Sloan." Rose-Marie had suddenly lost the sparkling eyes and carefree attitude, and Ron suddenly saw the woman who would be a formidable opponent in a court of law. Then just as suddenly that impression was gone, and there was only concern in her voice. "But the child was very ill, anyway, I hear, do you know how she is today?"
"Lieutenant Sloan is still in Fresno with her, and I spoke to him just before I got here. The doctors there are hoping to take her off the ventilator later this afternoon. They have already removed all the other devices, but she still has congestion and infection, and so they are leaving that in place a little longer."
"And Detective Yeager, do you know how she is now?"
"She is still receiving treatment. From what Amanda, ah, Doctor Bentley said, that will be the case for quite a while. I think it will be some time before she will be able to think about working again."
"I hope that she still wishes to return to it. I have always enjoyed working with her in the past." Rose Marie Moureau stood up and extended her hand to Ron, and he knew that their meeting was over.
Once again Rae had to wait for the MRI, but not as long as when she had been waiting to have the first one done. It had been after four before she got back to her room, and as she was being wheeled in she saw Wil pull up the blinds and let the world back into her room.
"Now, I believe you promised to have your bed raised."
Rae looked at him, and saw him lean over and begin to slowly start raising it. It hadn't risen very much when she began to feel dizzy.
"Wil, please, stop."
"Too far, huh?" Wil had smiled. "Ok, I'll give you an hour and then I will raise it again. Now, I need to check you over, so, the blind can go back down for a while."
Wil moved the bedclothes back, and gently began to manipulate Rae's legs. After about five minutes he covered her back up and smiled. "I think that we will get you out of bed tomorrow, would you like that?"
To her surprise Rae began to smile. "Yeah, yeah, I think I would like that, thank you."
Relieved that she seemed pleased to learn that she would be able to get up, Wil plunged in and began to tell her about some of the other changes that would be happening in the near future. "Rae, you are gonna have to wear the brace for a while, but you will have physical therapy and be given exercises to do to slowly begin to re-use your arm and neck muscles. The pain will reduce as you get stronger, and once the muscles are getting stronger then the brace will disappear, ok?"
"I guess so." Rae tried to stifle a yawn, and she looked over at her doctor as she did so. Wil moved towards the window and re-opened the blinds, letting the sun and the rest of the world in. Rae blinked for a moment against the winter glare, and realised that she was getting used to only looking with her eyes, and not moving her head. "Why is it that lying on your back for a couple of hours is so tiring?"
Wil smiled at her, and began to move the bed up a little more. He knew that it hadn't been an hour, but it was obvious that she was quite happy with it the way it was. This time he got a little further before she had him stop again.
"Woah, thank you." Rae smiled as he halted her progress immediately. I guess I can nod off sitting up."
"Does that mean that you don't want any visitors?" A strong and very familiar voice sounded from the doorway.
"Mark? Oh, Mark." So many emotions flooded to the front of Rae's mind that she couldn't process them. She saw Michael push her friend into the room, and then was just vaguely aware of Wil leaving with the butler.
Mark reached out and gently touched her hand.
"Mark, I didn't do it, did Steve tell you, it wasn't me who hurt you, I just couldn't…"
"Honey, I never thought it was you, not for a minute. Shhh, it's all right."
Rae had gulped down the tears she could feel threatening her. "Mark, I might not have actually been the person who stabbed you, but it was my fault that you got injured. If you hadn't known me it wouldn't have happened, and I am just so sorry."
"No, I guess it wouldn't have happened, I can't deny that, but so many other things wouldn't have happened either. Jesse wouldn't be a husband and father, Steve wouldn't have the best partner I can remember him having, I wouldn't have met you, we have had some real hard times over the last two years, Rae, but some wonderful ones too. I would trade all the times you have been hurt, but none of the others. Not for anything."
"Thank you, Mark, but I am still sorry, I can't change that."
"No, Honey, I guess you can't. You wouldn't be you otherwise."
"Mark, did you know that Brian thought I killed Helen, and his patient? Did you know that? Who else thought I did it, Mark, Cheryl did, but who else?"
Mark found that he couldn't make eye contact with her for a moment, and he had to shut the picture of his son out of his mind so that he could look at her once again.
But Rae knew Mark well enough to know why he wasn't saying anything to her. "Oh, God. Steve, Steve thought I did it? And Texas, did she think so too?" Rae managed to hold herself together, even though the fact that Steve, her partner, thought she had attacked and killed three people was almost too much to bear.
"No, Honey, she never did, and it was my fault that Steve thought you had hurt me."
"No, you couldn't persuade him of something you didn't believe yourself, he thought I killed people, for … for fun?"
"Rae, listen to me."
"No, Mark, I don't think I wanna talk any more, just go." Rae felt the pain as it started its journey up her arms, and realised that she had clenched both hands into fists.
"Rae. Steve did everything he could to prove you innocent, he found your daughter, and he stayed with her until Jesse could get there. He is still up there, so that Jesse isn't alone. He loves you Rae, and it almost broke his heart to be thinking the way he was."
"Yeah? Well, I'll ask him myself if you don't mind, how can I work with him again if he doubts me." Rae shut her eyes then, but Mark knew that he couldn't let this go.
"Rae, look at me."
"Go away, Mark, I don't want to talk to you any more."
"Ok, Honey, then you will have to listen. I never, not for one moment, thought you had stabbed me, but when I came round I said things that made Steve think I had seen you. Rae, if I had heard Steve call out your name like I did, I would have jumped to the wrong conclusions too. He is an exceptionally loyal and loving man, who has always been there for you, ever since you arrived in LA, and I know he wants to work with you again as soon as you are able. Rae, can't you just for one minute move outside your own pain, and see how much it must have hurt him to think that maybe, just maybe, you did have something to do with what was happening?" Mark stopped talking, he didn't want to speak for too long, but he wanted her to think about what he had said. "Rae, you have the call button under your hand, will you please press it so that Michael can take me home."
Rae did as she was asked, and then she looked at her friend. "Mark, I'm sorry. I can't say anything else, right now, but I am sorry."
Michael came into the room at that moment with Doctor Collins, and Mark felt the movement as he pulled his chair back from the side of the bed. "Are you ready to leave now, Sir?"
"Yes, thank you, Michael, I am." Mark slowly shook his head. He didn't want to speak to Wil, and have Rae think he was talking behind her back, but he wanted to try and indicate somehow that their chat hadn't gone as he had hoped.