New chapter! I'm almost done writing, just one more chapter and an
epilogue.. but that doesn't mean this is the last chapter(#13 is the last),
it just means I'll be updating more :P hope that's good news /^.\\ Anyway,
this chapter is pretty short, but also really important.. and I hope you
like it. Just one more thing: no,I don't believe Legato has a diary either
/^.\\;;
9-Dear Diary
Dear Diary.
I'm really worried about Legato now.. It's 1.5 month after Peter arrived, and he's so quiet.. and last night, when he thought I was sleeping, he cried. He almost doesn't sleep, and when he does, he has nightmares.. I asked him a thousand times if something is wrong, but he always smiles and says 'I'm fine.' I asked Cathy what to do.. but she says I'm just seeing things, and that I shouldn't worry because Legato's fine. Maybe she's right..
I know she isn't.
I just see it, when I look into his eyes.. when I hear his sad voice.. it's so hard to see the one you love suffering so much, but you can't help him. It's like.. it's like there's an invisible wall between us, he's on the other side, and something is hurting him, but I can't see what, and when I reach for him, I only hit the wall.. I just know it has something to do with Peter.. it looks like they're friends but.. oh well, maybe I'm just jealous. Still.. something is going on.. and I love him so much.. I really do, at first, I thought it was just because of his good looks. Then, I thought I was fooling myself, to find a replacement for Nick. Now, I know that I truly love him.. and that he doesn't love me. It's hard, really hard.
Last night, he asked if he could sleep with me. For a moment, I thought all my dreams were coming true, that there was hope again, and that he truly loved me. Of course, he just meant sleeping in the same bed.. I said yes, of course, and when he was finally sleeping, I looked on his skin, and saw there were so many new scars on his body.. that morning, I asked him again if something was wrong, he said 'I'm fine', and I answered 'Then why do you have so many new wounds?' He just looked at me, shocked, tried to say something and then ran of, crying.. in the mirror, I saw that Peter was standing behind me, smiling..
I just know Peter is hurting Legato, and maybe more.. but what prove do I have? I can't just go to his parents and say 'you know what? Your son is abusing Legato!' they wouldn't believe me.. maybe we should go away. But then again: we can't run forever, every time when something is wrong, we run, but I just know it will make Legato(and myself too) feel much better if we stay and solve this problem. Together. So we don't have to run anymore.. Run..
That's what I'm going to do now.. run. To the living room, so I can have dinner with Cathy, Dirk, Peter and.. Legato? I hope he's there.. anyway, thank you for listening to me again, Diary..
Love you, Vash.
Dear Diary.
Don't tell anyone.. don't speak.. 'cause you're worthless.. don't scream.. because you deserve this.. don't cry.. because you should be happy..
I'm not talking to you, it's what he tells me. He. Peter. Knives. They're all the same. Everywhere I go.. pain.. and someone who wants to hurt me- why? Stupid question, because I'm a worthless, dirty human.. still.. Vash cared for me. And he said I wasn't worthless. He says I'm beautiful. I'm not.
I looked in the mirror today.. and.. puked.. just because I was so sick of myself. Seeing myself. Hearing my disgusting voice. I never did this before.. it was just so different with Master, he raped me and abused me in weird ways, like cutting me open with swords, or let me cut myself and drink my own blood.. Peter just beats me, but it's still worse. Because first, I was a slave of God. Now, I'm nothing more than a little rat who's beaten by the stronger rat..
Vash knows.. I think.. he knows.. he said it today, that he saw my wounds. I just.. didn't know what to say. I can't tell the truth. But I can't lie either. Vash.. I laid in his bed, in his arms, and just realised it felt so good.. I'm not in love, I can't think of love.. it will only hurt me more, because what does Vash want with a rat like me?
..I'm so tired.. I just want to sleep, and don't worry about tomorrow. He'll hurt me again.. I hate him, I truly hate him. I could never hate Master.. maybe.. maybe this should be all over now.
My destiny is Death..
So why run?
And why hide?
It follows me, everywhere. In Knives, In Peter, in this planet.. it follows me, and I can't run. So.. why not let it catch me? You know.. diary.. I know these people quite well. By now, Cathy is in the living room. Peter and his father are in the village, drinking.. and Vash.. I don't know where Vash is, but certainly not in the kitchen. Do you know what's in the kitchen, Diary?
Knives.
Not knives, as 'Master Knives' but that sharp objects.. did you know you can hurt yourself with knives? And kill? It's so easy. Just.. place the knife.. and free yourself. Yes..
Farewell, Diary..
Legato.
'Legato?'
Vash walked in to the beautiful garden, it was late: midnight. Legato was sitting in the grass, with his knees to his chest, his back to Vash so he couldn't face him and he was staring at the stars. Vash stopped walking a minute, to see how beautiful it was: legato sitting in the light of two moons and thousands of stars, trees and closed flowers all around him, and the long grass moving because of the wind.. gently 'petting' him, like they wanted to say 'everything is going to be fine'
Tears were shining in his eyes, like little diamonds.. Vash sat behind him, on his knees, so Legato didn't face him, but he still knew the man he loved was sad. He putted his arms around him, and laid his head on Legato's back. The silence was broken by some sobs, and then by whispers from Vash.
'Look at that' he whispered, and pointed at the sky. 'Stars..' 'Hm..' Legato responded quietly. 'Do you think stars are happy?' 'Don't know..' Vash let his hand run through the blue hair, and smiled 'You're so beautiful..' No answer. 'Legato.. will you.. will you promise me something?' 'Depends' Vash closed his eyes, and whispered 'Will you promise me you won't let anyone hurt you again? And that you'll see how beautiful you are, because, it might sound strange, but I think you're one of the most beautiful things on this planet, better than these flowers, better than my memories, better than the dawn of the morning, the suns, the moons.. they're nothing compared to you, and I mean that. I.. I love you and I just hope.. just want you to love yourself..'
Silence..
Vash held Legato's hands, and let them point at the stars, where just one was falling out of the sky. 'Do you know what that means?' Vash said 'A wish. And I wish that you won't ever be lonely, or sad again.' He laid his hand on Legato's face, and made him look at the blonde. 'Do.. do you really.. love me?' Legato whispered, disbelieve in his voice. Vash nodded, and to prove it, he kissed his friend.
It was a different kiss, because this time, Legato responded and kissed back. It was a long, passionate kiss, Vash wished it could last on forever, and didn't think he would ever get enough of the taste of Legato's lips. When they finally pulled away, Legato looked at Vash and he seemed a different person. He smiled, a true smile. 'Legato..' Vash said. 'Please.. promise me.. you won't let anyone hurt you again. They're not worth your tears.' Legato smiled, and for a moment, he felt like nothing in the world could possibly hurt him, because for the first time in his short, awful life, he had someone who really loved him. And, for the first time, he loved someone. 'I promise' Legato whispered, and he meant it. Then, he closed his eyes and laid in the arms of his lover, and for the first time in weeks: he slept well.
It might have looked a little weird: two men sitting underneath the sky, with thousands stars, which were all looking at them, wishing them luck, with the grass beneath them, the flowers singing songs for them, and they didn't feel the cold nights: they just felt the warmth of two loving hearts: two hearts, once broken, and finally healed.
..mushy.. hope you liked it anyway, and please review (I'm getting less reviews lately, is this story so bad?? /;.\\)
9-Dear Diary
Dear Diary.
I'm really worried about Legato now.. It's 1.5 month after Peter arrived, and he's so quiet.. and last night, when he thought I was sleeping, he cried. He almost doesn't sleep, and when he does, he has nightmares.. I asked him a thousand times if something is wrong, but he always smiles and says 'I'm fine.' I asked Cathy what to do.. but she says I'm just seeing things, and that I shouldn't worry because Legato's fine. Maybe she's right..
I know she isn't.
I just see it, when I look into his eyes.. when I hear his sad voice.. it's so hard to see the one you love suffering so much, but you can't help him. It's like.. it's like there's an invisible wall between us, he's on the other side, and something is hurting him, but I can't see what, and when I reach for him, I only hit the wall.. I just know it has something to do with Peter.. it looks like they're friends but.. oh well, maybe I'm just jealous. Still.. something is going on.. and I love him so much.. I really do, at first, I thought it was just because of his good looks. Then, I thought I was fooling myself, to find a replacement for Nick. Now, I know that I truly love him.. and that he doesn't love me. It's hard, really hard.
Last night, he asked if he could sleep with me. For a moment, I thought all my dreams were coming true, that there was hope again, and that he truly loved me. Of course, he just meant sleeping in the same bed.. I said yes, of course, and when he was finally sleeping, I looked on his skin, and saw there were so many new scars on his body.. that morning, I asked him again if something was wrong, he said 'I'm fine', and I answered 'Then why do you have so many new wounds?' He just looked at me, shocked, tried to say something and then ran of, crying.. in the mirror, I saw that Peter was standing behind me, smiling..
I just know Peter is hurting Legato, and maybe more.. but what prove do I have? I can't just go to his parents and say 'you know what? Your son is abusing Legato!' they wouldn't believe me.. maybe we should go away. But then again: we can't run forever, every time when something is wrong, we run, but I just know it will make Legato(and myself too) feel much better if we stay and solve this problem. Together. So we don't have to run anymore.. Run..
That's what I'm going to do now.. run. To the living room, so I can have dinner with Cathy, Dirk, Peter and.. Legato? I hope he's there.. anyway, thank you for listening to me again, Diary..
Love you, Vash.
Dear Diary.
Don't tell anyone.. don't speak.. 'cause you're worthless.. don't scream.. because you deserve this.. don't cry.. because you should be happy..
I'm not talking to you, it's what he tells me. He. Peter. Knives. They're all the same. Everywhere I go.. pain.. and someone who wants to hurt me- why? Stupid question, because I'm a worthless, dirty human.. still.. Vash cared for me. And he said I wasn't worthless. He says I'm beautiful. I'm not.
I looked in the mirror today.. and.. puked.. just because I was so sick of myself. Seeing myself. Hearing my disgusting voice. I never did this before.. it was just so different with Master, he raped me and abused me in weird ways, like cutting me open with swords, or let me cut myself and drink my own blood.. Peter just beats me, but it's still worse. Because first, I was a slave of God. Now, I'm nothing more than a little rat who's beaten by the stronger rat..
Vash knows.. I think.. he knows.. he said it today, that he saw my wounds. I just.. didn't know what to say. I can't tell the truth. But I can't lie either. Vash.. I laid in his bed, in his arms, and just realised it felt so good.. I'm not in love, I can't think of love.. it will only hurt me more, because what does Vash want with a rat like me?
..I'm so tired.. I just want to sleep, and don't worry about tomorrow. He'll hurt me again.. I hate him, I truly hate him. I could never hate Master.. maybe.. maybe this should be all over now.
My destiny is Death..
So why run?
And why hide?
It follows me, everywhere. In Knives, In Peter, in this planet.. it follows me, and I can't run. So.. why not let it catch me? You know.. diary.. I know these people quite well. By now, Cathy is in the living room. Peter and his father are in the village, drinking.. and Vash.. I don't know where Vash is, but certainly not in the kitchen. Do you know what's in the kitchen, Diary?
Knives.
Not knives, as 'Master Knives' but that sharp objects.. did you know you can hurt yourself with knives? And kill? It's so easy. Just.. place the knife.. and free yourself. Yes..
Farewell, Diary..
Legato.
'Legato?'
Vash walked in to the beautiful garden, it was late: midnight. Legato was sitting in the grass, with his knees to his chest, his back to Vash so he couldn't face him and he was staring at the stars. Vash stopped walking a minute, to see how beautiful it was: legato sitting in the light of two moons and thousands of stars, trees and closed flowers all around him, and the long grass moving because of the wind.. gently 'petting' him, like they wanted to say 'everything is going to be fine'
Tears were shining in his eyes, like little diamonds.. Vash sat behind him, on his knees, so Legato didn't face him, but he still knew the man he loved was sad. He putted his arms around him, and laid his head on Legato's back. The silence was broken by some sobs, and then by whispers from Vash.
'Look at that' he whispered, and pointed at the sky. 'Stars..' 'Hm..' Legato responded quietly. 'Do you think stars are happy?' 'Don't know..' Vash let his hand run through the blue hair, and smiled 'You're so beautiful..' No answer. 'Legato.. will you.. will you promise me something?' 'Depends' Vash closed his eyes, and whispered 'Will you promise me you won't let anyone hurt you again? And that you'll see how beautiful you are, because, it might sound strange, but I think you're one of the most beautiful things on this planet, better than these flowers, better than my memories, better than the dawn of the morning, the suns, the moons.. they're nothing compared to you, and I mean that. I.. I love you and I just hope.. just want you to love yourself..'
Silence..
Vash held Legato's hands, and let them point at the stars, where just one was falling out of the sky. 'Do you know what that means?' Vash said 'A wish. And I wish that you won't ever be lonely, or sad again.' He laid his hand on Legato's face, and made him look at the blonde. 'Do.. do you really.. love me?' Legato whispered, disbelieve in his voice. Vash nodded, and to prove it, he kissed his friend.
It was a different kiss, because this time, Legato responded and kissed back. It was a long, passionate kiss, Vash wished it could last on forever, and didn't think he would ever get enough of the taste of Legato's lips. When they finally pulled away, Legato looked at Vash and he seemed a different person. He smiled, a true smile. 'Legato..' Vash said. 'Please.. promise me.. you won't let anyone hurt you again. They're not worth your tears.' Legato smiled, and for a moment, he felt like nothing in the world could possibly hurt him, because for the first time in his short, awful life, he had someone who really loved him. And, for the first time, he loved someone. 'I promise' Legato whispered, and he meant it. Then, he closed his eyes and laid in the arms of his lover, and for the first time in weeks: he slept well.
It might have looked a little weird: two men sitting underneath the sky, with thousands stars, which were all looking at them, wishing them luck, with the grass beneath them, the flowers singing songs for them, and they didn't feel the cold nights: they just felt the warmth of two loving hearts: two hearts, once broken, and finally healed.
..mushy.. hope you liked it anyway, and please review (I'm getting less reviews lately, is this story so bad?? /;.\\)