One Weak: A Tribute To Heero Yuy (Parody of 'One Week' by Barenaked Ladies)
Disclaimer: Gee. I STILL don't own Gundam Wing, and I don't own Barenaked Ladies or any of their fabulous songs. I regret both.
A/N: Everyone sings. Period. Okay, except Heero. Since it's a tribute to our Suicidal Perfect Soldier.
Relena: It's been one week since you Death Glared me
Cocked your gun, held it to one side
And said you're gonna kill me
Five days since you smirked at me
Saying 'You're still there? Can't you stalk someone else? Gee!
Three days since the living room (wink wink)
I realized it's all your fault, still tried to tell you
Yesterday, you'd have murdered me
And it'll still be a few days 'til you get bullets
For your artillery...
(Heero, who is bound and gagged in a chair, groans and rolls his eyes.)
Heero: Oh GOD! Can I go kill myself now?
(Trowa pokes him with a pistol.)
Trowa: Later.
Heero: Damn.
Duo: Hold it now and watch Wing Zero wink
As I make you stop, think,
You'll think you're looking like Duo man!
I summon dolls to the dish
So I can bash, slash, and swish
My scythe around
I like killing people and I dice 'em on the rebound
Hot like jalapenos when I try to bust rhymes
Big like lemons and limes
Because I'm all about family values
Wufei (from offset): Yeah right!
Duo (unperturbed): Treize Khushrenada's going mad kids!
Ya try to match wits
You try to kill me but I bust through
Trowa: Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin' achin' shake
I love Deathscythe more than Heavyarms, coz it's the finest of the Gundams
Gotta watch the show, petition at Toonami to get it back and go
Coz you know the vertigo is gonna grow
Coz it's so dangerous
You'll have to sign a waiver
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're suicidal
Trying hard just to smile cause I'm unemotional
Wufei: I'm the kind of guy who worships at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
I don't expect you will
I have a tendency to tie my ponytail too tight
You have a history of not changing your shirt
Heero (angrily, offset): I CHANGE MY SHIRTS!
Wufei: Yeah, SUUURRREEE...
Quatre: It's been one year since you looked at me
Threw your hands to Wing Zero's controls
And said 'You're crazy.'
One year since you grappled me
I've still got scars all over my body
It's been a few months since that afternoon
You realized it's the ZERO System's fault
Not a moment too soon
A year ago, you'd have forgiven me
If I hadn't nearly killed Trowa and you
And say I'm sorry
Zechs: Chickity China the Chinese chicken (A/N: I swear, these are the real lyrics!)
Wufei (offset): I feel insulted! So insulted! Don't you, Sally?
Sally: No.
Wufei: Oh. Okay. I don't either.
Zechs: Have a drumstick and your brains stops tickin'
Watchin' Wufei with no lights on
Wufei: Is this whole song parody meant to annoy and insult whatever's left of my dignity?
Mandelarae (appearing out of nowhere and checking her clipboard): Um, technically... yes.
Wufei (jumping on authoress): I'm gonna kill you!!!!
Mandelarae: AAAAAHHHH!!!
(Authoress disappears)
Zechs: We're dans la maison (A/N: Um, what does that mean? Dans la maison? My French isn't that good.)
I hope that Epyon's in this one
Like Zechs on Libra I'm getting frantic-HEY! I wsn't frantic!
Dorothy (the director of the entire shenanigan): SHUT UP! YOU WERE! I was with you every step of the way! Continue, dammit!
Zechs: Like a scorpion sting I'm tantric,
Like Gundam Wing guaranteed to satisfy
Like Charlie Chaplin I make silent films
Okay I don't make films
But if they did they'd have a Samurai
Trowa: Gotta get a set of better guns
Gotta find the ones with lotsa runs
Coz I'm the one who's always running out of ammo
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
Coz that anime has got the
Woo! anime babes that make me think the wrong thing
Cathy: God, little brother! You're so...vulgar!
(Trowa grins wickedly)
Dorothy: How can I help it if I think you're hilarious when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile but I don't feel bad
I'm the kind of gal who laughs when a war goes on
Can't understand what I mean?
Well I doubt you ever will
I have a tendency of combing my double eyebrows
You have a history of not changing your shorts
Heero: Is this entire song parody meant to poke fun at my damn everyday outfit!
Dorothy: Shaddup. And yes, it is.
(Lights go off)
Hilde (who is presently guarding Heero): What the f?
Dorothy: Special guest star, SYLVIA NOVENTA! She flew all the way from Marseilles just to attack your gundanium conscience! Take the mic, Sylvia!
(Heero sweatdrops and gulps as the chestnut-haired girl goes on stage, flashes an evil grin at the ex-assassin, and sings.)
Sylvia: It's been a few years since you looked at me
Held out a gun to me and said you're sorry
A ton of months since I got mad at you and said that
You just did what I thought you were never ever going to do
A few years since the cemetery
I realized that you're the murderer, but what could we do?
A few years ago, you just shrugged at me
And said that life is cheap, specially mine, so just shoot me
Coz it'll still be a million years before I forgive you...
(Dorothy signals to Hilde to remove the gag from Heero's mouth.)
Dorothy: Like your surprise?
Heero: As much as I'd appreciate a hernia. Please never surprise me again. After that...display of affection and utter humiliation , I am traumatized and feel the insatiable urge to kill you all.
(Now, everyone sweatdrops and looks at each other uncertainly.)
Heero: Now, omae o korosu...
Duo: WHA? How did you escape?
Heero: It's a fanfic. I can do whatever I want.
Wufei: Duh.
(Heero cocks his gun and aims it at Wufei.)
Heero: Hasta la vista, Wuffie.
Wufei: KISAMA!!!!!
(Heero goes ZERO, shoots everyone and kills himself in the process. And they all end up in the hospital. And they all lived happily ever after. The End...or is it?)
Disclaimer: Gee. I STILL don't own Gundam Wing, and I don't own Barenaked Ladies or any of their fabulous songs. I regret both.
A/N: Everyone sings. Period. Okay, except Heero. Since it's a tribute to our Suicidal Perfect Soldier.
Relena: It's been one week since you Death Glared me
Cocked your gun, held it to one side
And said you're gonna kill me
Five days since you smirked at me
Saying 'You're still there? Can't you stalk someone else? Gee!
Three days since the living room (wink wink)
I realized it's all your fault, still tried to tell you
Yesterday, you'd have murdered me
And it'll still be a few days 'til you get bullets
For your artillery...
(Heero, who is bound and gagged in a chair, groans and rolls his eyes.)
Heero: Oh GOD! Can I go kill myself now?
(Trowa pokes him with a pistol.)
Trowa: Later.
Heero: Damn.
Duo: Hold it now and watch Wing Zero wink
As I make you stop, think,
You'll think you're looking like Duo man!
I summon dolls to the dish
So I can bash, slash, and swish
My scythe around
I like killing people and I dice 'em on the rebound
Hot like jalapenos when I try to bust rhymes
Big like lemons and limes
Because I'm all about family values
Wufei (from offset): Yeah right!
Duo (unperturbed): Treize Khushrenada's going mad kids!
Ya try to match wits
You try to kill me but I bust through
Trowa: Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin' achin' shake
I love Deathscythe more than Heavyarms, coz it's the finest of the Gundams
Gotta watch the show, petition at Toonami to get it back and go
Coz you know the vertigo is gonna grow
Coz it's so dangerous
You'll have to sign a waiver
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're suicidal
Trying hard just to smile cause I'm unemotional
Wufei: I'm the kind of guy who worships at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
I don't expect you will
I have a tendency to tie my ponytail too tight
You have a history of not changing your shirt
Heero (angrily, offset): I CHANGE MY SHIRTS!
Wufei: Yeah, SUUURRREEE...
Quatre: It's been one year since you looked at me
Threw your hands to Wing Zero's controls
And said 'You're crazy.'
One year since you grappled me
I've still got scars all over my body
It's been a few months since that afternoon
You realized it's the ZERO System's fault
Not a moment too soon
A year ago, you'd have forgiven me
If I hadn't nearly killed Trowa and you
And say I'm sorry
Zechs: Chickity China the Chinese chicken (A/N: I swear, these are the real lyrics!)
Wufei (offset): I feel insulted! So insulted! Don't you, Sally?
Sally: No.
Wufei: Oh. Okay. I don't either.
Zechs: Have a drumstick and your brains stops tickin'
Watchin' Wufei with no lights on
Wufei: Is this whole song parody meant to annoy and insult whatever's left of my dignity?
Mandelarae (appearing out of nowhere and checking her clipboard): Um, technically... yes.
Wufei (jumping on authoress): I'm gonna kill you!!!!
Mandelarae: AAAAAHHHH!!!
(Authoress disappears)
Zechs: We're dans la maison (A/N: Um, what does that mean? Dans la maison? My French isn't that good.)
I hope that Epyon's in this one
Like Zechs on Libra I'm getting frantic-HEY! I wsn't frantic!
Dorothy (the director of the entire shenanigan): SHUT UP! YOU WERE! I was with you every step of the way! Continue, dammit!
Zechs: Like a scorpion sting I'm tantric,
Like Gundam Wing guaranteed to satisfy
Like Charlie Chaplin I make silent films
Okay I don't make films
But if they did they'd have a Samurai
Trowa: Gotta get a set of better guns
Gotta find the ones with lotsa runs
Coz I'm the one who's always running out of ammo
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
Coz that anime has got the
Woo! anime babes that make me think the wrong thing
Cathy: God, little brother! You're so...vulgar!
(Trowa grins wickedly)
Dorothy: How can I help it if I think you're hilarious when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile but I don't feel bad
I'm the kind of gal who laughs when a war goes on
Can't understand what I mean?
Well I doubt you ever will
I have a tendency of combing my double eyebrows
You have a history of not changing your shorts
Heero: Is this entire song parody meant to poke fun at my damn everyday outfit!
Dorothy: Shaddup. And yes, it is.
(Lights go off)
Hilde (who is presently guarding Heero): What the f?
Dorothy: Special guest star, SYLVIA NOVENTA! She flew all the way from Marseilles just to attack your gundanium conscience! Take the mic, Sylvia!
(Heero sweatdrops and gulps as the chestnut-haired girl goes on stage, flashes an evil grin at the ex-assassin, and sings.)
Sylvia: It's been a few years since you looked at me
Held out a gun to me and said you're sorry
A ton of months since I got mad at you and said that
You just did what I thought you were never ever going to do
A few years since the cemetery
I realized that you're the murderer, but what could we do?
A few years ago, you just shrugged at me
And said that life is cheap, specially mine, so just shoot me
Coz it'll still be a million years before I forgive you...
(Dorothy signals to Hilde to remove the gag from Heero's mouth.)
Dorothy: Like your surprise?
Heero: As much as I'd appreciate a hernia. Please never surprise me again. After that...display of affection and utter humiliation , I am traumatized and feel the insatiable urge to kill you all.
(Now, everyone sweatdrops and looks at each other uncertainly.)
Heero: Now, omae o korosu...
Duo: WHA? How did you escape?
Heero: It's a fanfic. I can do whatever I want.
Wufei: Duh.
(Heero cocks his gun and aims it at Wufei.)
Heero: Hasta la vista, Wuffie.
Wufei: KISAMA!!!!!
(Heero goes ZERO, shoots everyone and kills himself in the process. And they all end up in the hospital. And they all lived happily ever after. The End...or is it?)