Woman! I Feel Like A Man-HEY! WHO SCREWED THIS UP? (Parody of 'Man! I Feel
Like A Woman!' by Shania Twain)
Disclaimer: ::Dramatic sigh:: No, I still don't own Gundam Wing. Although I manage a Gundam Wing website, I don't own anything else. And I don't own any of Shania Twain's songs. However, I DO own this version of said song.
A/N: THIS is ::sigh:: dedicated to the person who introduced me to fanfics, and urged me to write fics, and read and criticized said fics, Sabrina Ragudo.
Other stuff: This really isn't my best parody. Kind of a five-minute type thing. Also, most of the lyrics are correct.
(The Gundam pilots hurriedly enter the recording studio, and the assistant, Lorraine Rivera, hands him the lyrics to the next song.)
Trowa: WE TOLD YOU, Duo, that there was no time to stop at McDonald's!
Duo: But Winner stopped there anyway! So it's really his fault!
Quatre: WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS BLAME EVERY LITTLE INSIGNIFICANT THING THAT GOES WRONG ON ME?
Heero: Because every little insignificant thing that goes wrong IS always your fault.
Wufei: Can you weaklings just shut up and record the fucking song?
Quatre: Whatever.
Duo: Sure.
Heero: ::inaudible murmurs::
Trowa: ///,*
(Everyone goes into the booth and puts on the earphones.)
Wufei: I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout
No inhibitions, make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time
The best thing about being a woman
(Music stops as Wufei pales and glances at his giggling companions. He drops the sheaf of papers in shock and dragon-like fury.)
Wufei: KISAMA!!! Who wrote this? I'll personally slit their throats!
Heero: Shut up, Wufei, haven't you noticed that the tape's still on and recording?
Wufei: BUT I'M NOT SINGING THIS PIECE OF DISTASTEFUL AND DEGRADING CRAP!
Quatre: SHUT UP!
Trowa: Just sing the stupid piece of degrading crap, okay? We'll talk later...
Wufei: Can I alter the lyrics a bit, anyway?
Duo: FiNE! WHaTEVER! JUST SING! I'VE GOT A DATE WITH HILDE IN LESS THAN AN HOUR AND I'D LIKE TO PICK HER UP BEFORE THE NEXT AFTER COLONY, OKAY?
Wufei: Great! Someone gimme a pen!
(Invisible hands give Wufei a pen, and he scribbles on the lyrics, changing some of them)
Wufei: Where was I? Oh, yeah...
The best thing about being a man
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
All pilots: Oh, oh, oh, totally insane
Forget I'm a man and
Women's shirts, short...flirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild
Yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action,
Feel the attraction,
Shave off my hair, do what I dare,
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free
Yeah, to feel the way I feel
Woman! I feel like a man!
(Duo gives Wufei 'what the hell?' looks)
Duo: What. the hell. is. this. shit. you're. dishing. out?
(Trowa aims a swift kick at Duo's ass.)
Duo: Ow...
Wufei: The men need a break
Tonight we're gonna take
The chance to get drunk on the town
We don't need romance
We only wanna chance
our money and gamble until we lose it all and frown
Heero: You know Wufei, you're right... This is a degrading piece of crap!!!
Duo: You stop and I kill you!
Trowa: We're in this together!
Quatre: Yeah! Confucius say, humiliate one, humiliate them all/
Wufei: Aw, shut it, all of you!
Wufei: The best thing about being a man
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
All pilots: Oh, oh, oh, totally insane
Forget I'm a man and
Women's shirts, short...flirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild
Yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action,
Feel the attraction,
Shave off my hair, do what I dare,
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free
Yeah, to feel the way I feel
Woman! I feel like a man!
Quatre: Short flirts! Short flirts? Where the fuck did you get this?
Heero: I'm hating Wufei already...
Wufei: The best thing about being a man
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
All pilots: Oh, oh, oh, totally insane
Forget I'm a man and
Women's shirts, short...flirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild
Yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action,
Feel the attraction,
Shave off my hair, do what I dare,
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free
Yeah, to feel the way I feel
Woman! I feel like a man!
Trowa: Woman? I feel like a man? Sweet baby Jesus!
Wufei: I go totally ZERO
Can you feel it?
Come, come, come on baby
I feel like a man
Heero: I feel like a man? That's so lame! That's what you came up with? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!
(The mixing guy gave a thumbs up to the pilots and turned off the record button. The pilots took off their headphones and started arguing)
Duo: Wufei, man, that's gonna be the WORST single ever!
Wufei: Blame the damn woman who gave me the butt-awful lyrics! I had to improvise, you know!
Quatre (starting to cry): I don't even think we'll make it to Fortune 500!
Trowa: Quatre, number one, YOU are already in the Fortune 500. You're the goddamn richest 20 year-old Arabian in the entire Earth Space Colonies. Number two, the Fortune 500 is for the richest people in the whole wide world, not for getting number one singles. The US Billboard Chart, or something like that, are the things we worry about. NOT the Fortune 500.
(Heero cocks his gun and aims it at Lorraine Rivera.)
Lorraine: Shit. We're...I mean, I'M out of here.
(Snaps fingers and disappears into thin air.)
Wufei: DAMN! You're always scaring off would-be victims!
(Heero aims the gun at Wufei instead.)
Heero: I see one standing in front of me.
Wufei: Hehehehehe...don't be so hasty, Yuy...
(Duo slams his noggin against the glass panel)
Duo: Mr. I'm-So-Peace-Loving-I-Make-Others-Sick Winner, please do your job and separate Mr. Suicide Yuy and Mr. My-Ponytail-Is-So-Tight-That-I-Make- The-Blood-Go-To-My-Head-And-Go-Berserk Chang. AND KINDLY DO IT NOW BEFORE I DO IT MYSELF! And it won't be pretty...
(Quatre groaned and plied the two suicidal psychopaths apart. He was thinking of teaching a course at college...'How To Handle Morons and Psychopaths.' He was getting quite good at it.)
Trowa: Same time tomorrow, then?
Heero (grumbling because Quatre confiscated his gun): Yeah, yeah...grumble grumble...
(Relena bursts into the recording studio.)
Relena: I WANT HEERO!!!!
Trowa (indignantly): She's giving away tomorrow's song!
Duo: I'd love to stay and kill her, but, like I said, I've got a date with Hilde. I can leave the killing up to the three of you.
(He puts on his coat and eyes Quatre.)
Quatre: WHAT?
Duo: Nothing.
(Leaves the studio in order to avoid another clash of the Yuy-Peacecrafts.)
Heero: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
(Grabs Wufei by the collar)
Heero: HIDE ME!!!
(Relena manages to smash the glass panel and paws at Heero)
Relena: HEEROOOOOOO!!!
Heero: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(Runs away frantically screaming obscenities in various languages. Relena chases him.)
Relena: HEEEEEEERRRRRROOOOOOOO!!!!!!
(Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre watch them run away.)
Trowa: So...you guys wanna go get some grub?
Wufei: What the hay?
Quatre: I call dimsum!
Trowa and Wufei: Whatever.
Disclaimer: ::Dramatic sigh:: No, I still don't own Gundam Wing. Although I manage a Gundam Wing website, I don't own anything else. And I don't own any of Shania Twain's songs. However, I DO own this version of said song.
A/N: THIS is ::sigh:: dedicated to the person who introduced me to fanfics, and urged me to write fics, and read and criticized said fics, Sabrina Ragudo.
Other stuff: This really isn't my best parody. Kind of a five-minute type thing. Also, most of the lyrics are correct.
(The Gundam pilots hurriedly enter the recording studio, and the assistant, Lorraine Rivera, hands him the lyrics to the next song.)
Trowa: WE TOLD YOU, Duo, that there was no time to stop at McDonald's!
Duo: But Winner stopped there anyway! So it's really his fault!
Quatre: WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS BLAME EVERY LITTLE INSIGNIFICANT THING THAT GOES WRONG ON ME?
Heero: Because every little insignificant thing that goes wrong IS always your fault.
Wufei: Can you weaklings just shut up and record the fucking song?
Quatre: Whatever.
Duo: Sure.
Heero: ::inaudible murmurs::
Trowa: ///,*
(Everyone goes into the booth and puts on the earphones.)
Wufei: I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout
No inhibitions, make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time
The best thing about being a woman
(Music stops as Wufei pales and glances at his giggling companions. He drops the sheaf of papers in shock and dragon-like fury.)
Wufei: KISAMA!!! Who wrote this? I'll personally slit their throats!
Heero: Shut up, Wufei, haven't you noticed that the tape's still on and recording?
Wufei: BUT I'M NOT SINGING THIS PIECE OF DISTASTEFUL AND DEGRADING CRAP!
Quatre: SHUT UP!
Trowa: Just sing the stupid piece of degrading crap, okay? We'll talk later...
Wufei: Can I alter the lyrics a bit, anyway?
Duo: FiNE! WHaTEVER! JUST SING! I'VE GOT A DATE WITH HILDE IN LESS THAN AN HOUR AND I'D LIKE TO PICK HER UP BEFORE THE NEXT AFTER COLONY, OKAY?
Wufei: Great! Someone gimme a pen!
(Invisible hands give Wufei a pen, and he scribbles on the lyrics, changing some of them)
Wufei: Where was I? Oh, yeah...
The best thing about being a man
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
All pilots: Oh, oh, oh, totally insane
Forget I'm a man and
Women's shirts, short...flirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild
Yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action,
Feel the attraction,
Shave off my hair, do what I dare,
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free
Yeah, to feel the way I feel
Woman! I feel like a man!
(Duo gives Wufei 'what the hell?' looks)
Duo: What. the hell. is. this. shit. you're. dishing. out?
(Trowa aims a swift kick at Duo's ass.)
Duo: Ow...
Wufei: The men need a break
Tonight we're gonna take
The chance to get drunk on the town
We don't need romance
We only wanna chance
our money and gamble until we lose it all and frown
Heero: You know Wufei, you're right... This is a degrading piece of crap!!!
Duo: You stop and I kill you!
Trowa: We're in this together!
Quatre: Yeah! Confucius say, humiliate one, humiliate them all/
Wufei: Aw, shut it, all of you!
Wufei: The best thing about being a man
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
All pilots: Oh, oh, oh, totally insane
Forget I'm a man and
Women's shirts, short...flirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild
Yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action,
Feel the attraction,
Shave off my hair, do what I dare,
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free
Yeah, to feel the way I feel
Woman! I feel like a man!
Quatre: Short flirts! Short flirts? Where the fuck did you get this?
Heero: I'm hating Wufei already...
Wufei: The best thing about being a man
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
All pilots: Oh, oh, oh, totally insane
Forget I'm a man and
Women's shirts, short...flirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild
Yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action,
Feel the attraction,
Shave off my hair, do what I dare,
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free
Yeah, to feel the way I feel
Woman! I feel like a man!
Trowa: Woman? I feel like a man? Sweet baby Jesus!
Wufei: I go totally ZERO
Can you feel it?
Come, come, come on baby
I feel like a man
Heero: I feel like a man? That's so lame! That's what you came up with? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!
(The mixing guy gave a thumbs up to the pilots and turned off the record button. The pilots took off their headphones and started arguing)
Duo: Wufei, man, that's gonna be the WORST single ever!
Wufei: Blame the damn woman who gave me the butt-awful lyrics! I had to improvise, you know!
Quatre (starting to cry): I don't even think we'll make it to Fortune 500!
Trowa: Quatre, number one, YOU are already in the Fortune 500. You're the goddamn richest 20 year-old Arabian in the entire Earth Space Colonies. Number two, the Fortune 500 is for the richest people in the whole wide world, not for getting number one singles. The US Billboard Chart, or something like that, are the things we worry about. NOT the Fortune 500.
(Heero cocks his gun and aims it at Lorraine Rivera.)
Lorraine: Shit. We're...I mean, I'M out of here.
(Snaps fingers and disappears into thin air.)
Wufei: DAMN! You're always scaring off would-be victims!
(Heero aims the gun at Wufei instead.)
Heero: I see one standing in front of me.
Wufei: Hehehehehe...don't be so hasty, Yuy...
(Duo slams his noggin against the glass panel)
Duo: Mr. I'm-So-Peace-Loving-I-Make-Others-Sick Winner, please do your job and separate Mr. Suicide Yuy and Mr. My-Ponytail-Is-So-Tight-That-I-Make- The-Blood-Go-To-My-Head-And-Go-Berserk Chang. AND KINDLY DO IT NOW BEFORE I DO IT MYSELF! And it won't be pretty...
(Quatre groaned and plied the two suicidal psychopaths apart. He was thinking of teaching a course at college...'How To Handle Morons and Psychopaths.' He was getting quite good at it.)
Trowa: Same time tomorrow, then?
Heero (grumbling because Quatre confiscated his gun): Yeah, yeah...grumble grumble...
(Relena bursts into the recording studio.)
Relena: I WANT HEERO!!!!
Trowa (indignantly): She's giving away tomorrow's song!
Duo: I'd love to stay and kill her, but, like I said, I've got a date with Hilde. I can leave the killing up to the three of you.
(He puts on his coat and eyes Quatre.)
Quatre: WHAT?
Duo: Nothing.
(Leaves the studio in order to avoid another clash of the Yuy-Peacecrafts.)
Heero: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
(Grabs Wufei by the collar)
Heero: HIDE ME!!!
(Relena manages to smash the glass panel and paws at Heero)
Relena: HEEROOOOOOO!!!
Heero: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(Runs away frantically screaming obscenities in various languages. Relena chases him.)
Relena: HEEEEEEERRRRRROOOOOOOO!!!!!!
(Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre watch them run away.)
Trowa: So...you guys wanna go get some grub?
Wufei: What the hay?
Quatre: I call dimsum!
Trowa and Wufei: Whatever.