CHAPTER FIVE: THE PLOT THICKENS
"Hey, Rogue!"
Rogue, eyes narrowed, lowered the spellbook and gave Kitty a cold stare. "What?" she spat.
Kitty, who was leaping across the floor and performing neat little spins, didn't notice her friend's icy tone of voice. "Will you, like, be my bridesmaid? I'd totally love it if you would. I mean, I've, like, picked out all the dresses already. I promise they aren't ugly. They're like totally wow."
"Oh my god," Rogue groaned. "Kitty, for the love of everything holy, just shut up. OK? Ah really don't feel like listening to it right now."
Kitty ignored her. "You will? Oh, totally fab, Rogue. Like, you're the best friend ever. Scott will totally love this. You wanna hear how they look?"
"NO," said Logan and Rogue in unison. They looked at each other, grinned, and then looked back at Kitty.
She stopped twirling long enough to give them a pouty face. "Why are you two, like, ganging up on me? Aren't you happy for me?"
"Yes, wildly happy," Rogue sighed. "It's just that we need to be in silence to think right now."
"OK. Cool!" Kitty resumed her spinning. "So, like. The dresses are pink chiffon, like the ones in my cousin's wedding last summer. This great pink, like, not quite bubblegum, but not salmon either. And the sash is really big and shiny and reaches up to, like, your chest, and there are these fake orchids sewn into the waist, like, and-"
"Ah think Ah'm going to be sick," Rogue announced flatly.
"Just tune her out, kid." Logan and Rogue were still sitting in the kitchen, around the table. On the table was scattered a bottle of white wine, several jars of horseradish, and the spellbook. Kitty was dancing around the spilled pots and pans in a romantic frenzy. "I say, the sooner we get her over Scott, the better."
"Amen to that." Rogue set the spellbook down with a thump. "By the way - Ah found what you were looking for."
"And?" Logan asked anxiously.
"The love potion only works one time. Once you're cured, you don't fall in love again. Unless you drink some more, obviously."
Logan heaved a huge sigh of relief. "Well, thank god for that, huh, kid?"
"We could have figured it out ourselves. Ah mean, if you still had the love potion working in you, then you would have fallen for her by now." Rogue jerked a finger towards Kitty, who was dancing with a dishcloth tied around her neck while she kept on describing the bridesmaid dresses.
Logan looked faintly disgusted. "Lord."
"Ah know."
Kitty was trying to do leaps now. "-And, like, big silk bonnets. With roses and daisies and sunflowers - like, totally old-fashioned, you know? And kind of, like, retro. And dark pantyhose-"
Logan turned abruptly to Rogue, who was watching Kitty with a nauseous expression. "Kid."
"Yeah?"
"I didn't act like her or anythin', did I?"
"Dancing around talking about dresses and bonnets?" Rogue choked down a slightly hysterical laugh. "Uh, no. Not at all, really."
"Good. I don't think I could ever live that down."
"Well, it wouldn't have been your fault."
"Well-" Logan leaned forwards. There was obviously something on his mind. "So, what did I do?"
"Don't worry about it. Ah told you, it doesn't matter anymore."
"Yeah, but - I'm kinda curious - I mean, I didn't want to hurt you or anythin' -"
"Ah told you, you didn't." Rogue was flushing uncomfortably. "Look, Ah mean, do you mind if we just sorta drop it?"
"Oh, sure!" Logan said quickly. "No problem. I mean, I definitely owe you and everythin'-"
Rogue just stared down at the tabletop, cheeks red.
Logan cleared his throat and tactfully changed the subject. "So. Where's Scott?"
Kitty came pirouetting towards them. "He's, like, totally running through my dreams, and he's wearing a baby blue tuxedo with, like, a corsage of-"
Rogue raised her voice, interrupting. "We don't know. We last saw him in the hall, going that way." She pointed.
"And who is he in love with, now?"
"Um-" Rogue briefly consulted her pad. "Ororo. God, how weird."
"You're tellin' me." Logan pulled the cork out of the wine bottle and carefully poured two glassfuls. "The thing is, it might be hard to get to him to kiss Kitty here, seeing as he's so fixed on Ororo." Logan shook his head. "How the hell do you kids get people into this kind of mess?"
Rogue pointed at Kitty. "All her fault. Well - and mine. And Jean's. But mainly Kitty."
Kitty took a flying leap and landed hard on the floor, sprawling everywhere. She sat up with a dazed look. "Scott . . . ?"
Rogue winced.
"Yeah. That about makes sense," Logan sighed. He held up the wine glasses. "White wine, right here. Now for the horseradish. How much?"
Rogue grabbed the jar of horseradish. "Ah guess it doesn't really matter how much. Ah'll just put it about a spoonful for each. It worked before."
Logan wrinkled his nose as he watched Rogue apply the horseradish. "I drank that?"
"It was kinda essential," Rogue said dryly.
Logan was silent.
"There." Rogue surveyed the wine glasses anxiously. "There's our only hope of salvation from her."
Kitty picked up a stray spoon and began beating out a tune on the bottom of a frying pan. "Scott and Kitty, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-NG . . ."
Rogue turned pale. "Logan?"
"Yeah?"
"Can we please go find Scott, right now? Before Ah lose mah mind completely?"
"I'm with you, kid. Let's get this over with." Logan handed the glasses to Rogue. "I'll handle her."
Rogue watched as Logan bent over Kitty. "Hey, kid?" he said, in his nicest voice. "You wanna come with us to find Scott? We have a wedding present for you two."
Kitty stopped banging on the pan and looked at him suspiciously, eyes narrowed. "You, like, wanna help me find Scott?"
"Yeah." Logan took hold of her elbow. "Let's go, now. Let's go find your - HEY! What the hell?!"
Kitty had just smashed Logan in the arm with her frying pan. She wrenched away and backed off from him, now looking wild-eyed. "You're just trying to, like, steal Scott for yourself, aren't you, Mr. Logan? Well, like, I won't let you! He's mine! All mine!"
Rogue snorted with laughter in spite of herself.
Logan stared at Kitty, disbelief etched across his face. "Steal him for myself? What the hell?!"
"I know you! Like, I totally see the way you look at him!"
Rogue had to put the wine glasses down on the table, she was laughing so hard.
Logan's expression turned from disgust and horror to steely determination. "OK. That's it. You're the straw that broke the camel's back, Half-Pint." Before Kitty could react, Logan lunged at her and pinned her to the ground. There was a brief, frantic struggle. Rogue watched, not laughing anymore. After several moments, the tussling stopped. Logan straightened up, looking triumphant; in his arms he was carrying Kitty, with one dishcloth tied firmly around her ankles and the other around her wrists.
Rogue grinned. "Good thinking."
"Let's go." Logan headed for the door, an outraged Kitty slung over his shoulder.
Rogue, smiling to herself, grabbed the glasses and followed.
"I totally hate both of you," Kitty sobbed. "I'm totally, like, going to beat you up when I get down. You're gonna be sorry! Like, Scott loves me! Not you . . . not you . . . " She broke off, crying miserably.
Logan's face was set. They had been searching the grounds for close to an hour now, and there was still no sign of Scott. In fact, there was no sign of anyone. It was as if everyone had vanished during the scene in the kitchen, leaving only three people in the entire Institute alive.
Rogue, just as grim as Logan, stalked along behind the two, gripping the wine glasses and peering intently into every shadowy corner they passed.
"I hate you!" Kitty wailed. "I hate you both!"
Rogue gritted her teeth. "Ah think Ah had a nightmare like this once."
"I haven't had a nightmare like this until now," Logan said. He stopped at the end of the corridor, and looked around. Nothing. Not even a shadow. "This is gettin' downright ludicrous."
"He has to be here. We just saw him." Rogue sounded desperate. "He was chasing after Ororo-"
"That reminds me, kid," Logan said. "Who is Ororo stuck on? Do you know?"
"Um -" In spite of herself, Rogue smiled. "Yeah. You."
"Me?" Logan was incredulous. "That's impossible."
"Yeah . . . " Rogue said, but she wasn't really thinking about it. She was suddenly remembering what she had said to Kitty, in the hall closet. "So how does it work? Maybe . . . . " She furrowed her brow, thinking hard. "Maybe . . . whoever sees him first falls in love with him . . . and that's why everybody only falls in love with one person." Her eyes lit up. "That's it! Ah figured it out!" If that was true, then Ororo would have seen Logan before Rogue. Which meant that Marie wouldn't have been affected at all. But then - why - why had it felt like it had?
"Kid?"
"Hmm?" Rogue looked up, startled out of her reverie. "What?"
"Why are you blushin'?"
"Blushing?" Rogue clapped a hand to her cheek, which, sure enough, was warm. "Um - no reason - Ah guess Ah'm just all hot from looking all over the Institute -"
Logan looked like he was about to something else, but just at the moment, the sound of running footsteps came towards them from the end of the corridor. Both of them twirled around. Marie's jaw dropped. Logan's eyes lit up with relief. "At last!"
Ororo, catching sight of the three of them, skidded to a halt. Rogue noted with a sudden bitter pang that the woman's big, dark eyes grew immediately more limpid and shiny. Her breath sped up and she looked Logan slowly up and down. "So," she whispered, in a seductive little voice. "There you are."
Instinctively, Rogue stepped between the two.
Ororo didn't even pay attention to her. "I've been looking all over for you."
Logan was at a loss. "Ah - well - that's nice, Ororo -"
Ororo drew her breath in sharply and took a step forwards. "Oh, say my name again!" she breathed, closing her eyes in ecstasy.
Logan looked around him uncertainly. "Ororo?" he ventured.
Ororo moaned.
"Oh, get a grip, you old cow," Rogue spat.
Ororo looked at her with sudden dislike. Before she could say anything, however, Scott stepped out of the shadows and pressed an urgent hand to her arm. "Ororo - my love - why are we stalling? We should be in my bedroom now, decorating each other's bodies with fine oils and rose petals, making passionate love in-"
Ororo cut him off with a sharp slap. "Shut up, you sick, filthy little brat!"
Scott stared at her, eyes brimming with tears.
Kitty, still slung over Logan's shoulder, began kicking violently with her tied-together legs. "Scott! Scott!" she shrieked. "It's me, Kitty! Like, your own true love! Come rescue me, Scott! You're, like, totally my Prince Charming!"
Scott ignored her. "Ororo! Why?" he asked, voice full of pain and hurt.
"Because I loathe you, you undersized worm." Ororo pointed passionately at Logan. "There's a real man! There's who I want to make love with!"
Rogue bristled.
Logan blinked several times.
Kitty began to cry. "Scott? Scott? Come rescue me! I love you! Like, totally love you! Why aren't you coming?"
Ororo turned to Kitty. "Oh, take him, you whining little Barbie doll. You're welcome to him."
Scott turned away, dazed and wild-eyed. "I shall kill myself," he announced hollowly. "My love loves another, and I shall kill myself. Life is not worth living now."
"Would you just hurry up and do it, then?" Ororo spat.
Scott was as pale as snow. "I shall drive a dagger into my heart. It will not hurt - my heart is already broken into a thousand bleeding pieces, torn apart by my ice-queen love. I shall kill myself-" Suddenly, he turned to Logan. His eyes narrowed. "Or - shall I kill him?"
"Who, me?" Logan asked. He looked baffled.
"No!" Ororo shrieked. "I won't let you touch him! I'll murder you before you lay a hand on him!"
Kitty began screaming again. "Like, do it, Scott! Totally kill him! He, like, kidnapped me! He wants to rape you!"
Scott stiffened. "I will, then. That settles it." And he began striding purposefully towards Logan.
Rogue looked around frantically. "What do we do?"
Ororo was struggling with Scott, who was still coming towards Logan with a mad glint in his eyes. Kitty was screaming and kicking on Logan's shoulder. Rogue was in a panic. Logan looked around at all of them - then, making a quick decision, he dropped Kitty on the floor.
Everyone paused.
"That's it," Logan said. "I'm clearing this up for once and for all."