CHAPTER SIX: TANGLED WEB
Kitty squealed. "Ouch! That, like, totally hurt!" She began crying again. There were pools of blue eyeshadow running down her cheeks. "Scott, please hurry and totally kill him."
Rogue looked at her with great dislike. "Kitty, once this is all cleared up, Ah am so going to hurt you."
Kitty ignored her. "Scott!" she wailed. "You, like, have to kill him before we set the wedding date!"
Ororo had Scott in a stranglehold. "Don't you dare mess with him! I'll gut you like a fish, you unworthy little anklebiter, you disgusting creep, you-"
Scott gargled helplessly. "Ororo!" he managed to gasp. "My love! Don't do anything you'll regret later!"
"I don't plan to," Ororo said, tightening her grip.
Scott turned faintly blue.
Logan cleared his throat, standing directly above the enraged Ororo and the choking Scott. Ororo looked up. Her eyes began sparkling. She dropped Scott, who fell into a gasping pile on the rug, and she straightened up, just a hair's breadth away from Logan. "Well, hello," she purred. "And what can I do for you today?"
Rogue narrowed her eyes.
Logan put his hands on Ororo's shoulders. She gasped. "Listen. Ororo. Do you really want to make me happy?"
Ororo nodded and licked her lips. "Oh, yes."
Rogue rolled her eyes disgustedly.
Logan managed to dodge her grasping fingers. "Then listen. My favourite game is - closet tag."
"Closet tag?" Rogue repeated.
"Closet tag?" Ororo repeated, but in a much different tone. "Oooh. Sounds fun. How do you play, sweetsie-poo?"
Rogue looked ready to explode.
"It's simple," Logan said, once again dodging her fingers. "You go into a closet - any closet in the whole place. Then you sit very still and wait for me to come find you."
"And what then?" Ororo cooed.
"You have an imagination. Use it," Logan said, grinning.
Ororo grinned back. "Sounds too fun for words, pumpkin-pie."
"That's right - um - sugar-thing," Logan said back. "Now why you don't you go find a nice, dark, soft closet, and wait for me to come find you?"
Ororo giggled. "Be quick, honey-lips."
"I will."
"Don't peek!" Still giggling coyly, Ororo scampered down the hall and turned the corner, pausing to throw kisses and seductively undo her top button. Logan grinned and waved, trying not to look as anxious as he felt.
"Just - hurry -" he said, speaking quietly through clenched teeth. "And don't come back for a long time -"
Ororo finally stopped licking her fingers and blowing kisses long enough to disappear around the corner.
Logan breathed a gusty sigh of relief and turned around to face Rogue. She stared at him, one eyebrow quirked. "Sugar-thing?" she repeated in disgust. "Sugar-thing?"
"Well, what? I had to come up with somethin'!" Logan said defensively.
Rogue sighed and shook her head. "Whatever." She went over to Kitty, who was having a temper tantrum on the floor. "We have to take care of these two before Ororo comes back for seconds."
"Yeah, no kiddin'." Logan went to stand over Scott, still blue and limp. "Still got the wine glasses?"
Rogue held them up. "Even managed to keep from spilling."
"Good job, kid." Logan nudged Scott with his toe. "Hey, Romeo!"
Scott looked up with extreme dislike in his eyes. "What do you want, you sick and twisted-"
Logan interrupted. "You're gonna drink some wine, and then you're gonna kiss Kitty."
Scott blinked. "What?"
"You heard me. Wine, kiss, Kitty, bingo. Sit up straight."
Scott stared at Kitty. "Never! I'll never betray my true love!" He glared at Logan. "Oh, I can see right through your tricks and traps, don't think I can't - you want her to yourself, and then you want me-"
Logan couldn't help himself. He hit Scott. Hard. In the face.
Scott reeled back, a hand to his nose.
Kitty screamed hysterically.
"Logan!" Rogue stormed over. "What the hell are you doing? He needs to be alive to drink the damn cure, you know."
Logan looked a little sheepish. "Sorry. Couldn't help it."
Scott staggered uncertainly to his feet and gripped the wall for support. "Now I'm going to kill you," he announced weakly, and made a lunge that was more like a fall into Logan's arms. Logan neatly tossed him away. Scott crumpled back into a heap on the floor, moaning.
"Good lord," Rogue sighed, "Ah guess Ah have to take care of this. Logan, here." She handed him a glass of wine. "Prop Scott up. On mah signal, force Scott to drink it. Ah'll do the same for Kitty. Then we mash their mouths together and hope for the best."
"This better work," Logan said darkly. He went to where Scott was lying, hoisted him up, and crouched behind him with the wine glass. Scott's head lolled weakly on his neck. "Better hurry, kid. He's about to go out like a light."
Rogue went over to Kitty, who was writhing and hysterical. Carefully, she dragged the bound-up girl into a sitting position, clutching her around the waist. Kitty screamed and wriggled but couldn't escape Rogue. Rogue was not only twice as strong as the smaller girl, she was also in a horrible mood. She held the wine glass out of reach of Kitty's flailing arms, tied at the wrist. "Ready, Logan?"
"At your signal, kid."
Rogue's face was set with determination. "One - two - three!"
Logan pinched Scott's nose and forcibly shoved the wine glass against his mouth. After a moment of spluttering and spitting, Scott gave up and began swallowing the wine. "It's workin'!" he called.
Kitty wasn't quite as easy. She had pressed her lips together tightly, making it impossible for Rogue to force her to drink. Rogue was getting frantic. If they didn't kiss soon, the cure would be ruined, and they'd have to go through the whole mess over again. "Drink!" she hissed. Kitty refused with a shake of her head. Rogue sighed deeply. "Kitty, Ah promise, if you drink this, Ah'll let you kiss Scott."
Kitty instantly opened her lips and began eagerly drinking.
Rogue smiled with relief. "Working over here, too," she called.
The wine was gone within a matter of seconds.
"All right. Now you drag Scott over here," Rogue commanded.
"Do I, like, get to kiss him now?" Kitty asked.
"Yes, Kitty. And make sure you kiss him hard!"
"Totally don't worry about it."
"Ah'm trying not to."
Logan managed to drag Scott's limp body over to Rogue and Kitty. Kitty strained eagerly against Rogue's arm. The wine had apparently made Scott slightly tipsy. He was laughing weakly and muttering something about ducks and seashells. Rogue looked at him in alarm. "God, Logan, Ah think you brain-damaged him."
"Don't be paranoid." Logan propped Scott up next to Kitty. She squealed. "Ready?"
"When you are." Rogue said.
"One - two - three -"
They tilted Scott and Kitty towards each other. Kitty instantly latched onto Scott and began kissing him passionately, making little sounds in her throat. Scott, however, was hardly reacting.
"If he doesn't kiss back, does it still work?" Logan asked worriedly.
"Ah don't think so." Rogue nudged Scott. "Scott! Kiss her!"
Scott didn't respond.
Logan leaned down. "Hey, kid," he said to Scott. "Ororo is kissing you. Don't you wanna kiss her back?"
Apparently, Scott did.
Rogue raised her eyebrows. "Well. Fast thinking."
Logan smirked.
They let the two go it for about three minutes. Just when Rogue felt she couldn't bear it anymore, Logan abruptly pulled Scott away. Kitty fell back into Rogue's arms, eyes shining, face slightly wet-looking from a combination of tears, spit, and wine. Rogue drew back. "Ew."
There was a long moment of silence. "Well?" Logan asked tensely. "Did it work?"
"Um . . . Ah don't know . . "
They watched the two anxiously.
After a second, Kitty cleared her throat and blinked. She seemed to be waking up after a long nap. She hesitated a moment, then tried to look down at her chin. "Why am I, like, so wet?" She tried to reach her hands up to feel her face. She couldn't; the dishcloth was still holding strong. A look of panic came into Kitty's eyes. "Rogue? What is going on here?"
Rogue and Logan exchanged huge grins. "It's OK, Kitty," Rogue said jubilantly. She reached down and began to untie the knots. "You're cured, that's all."
"Cured from what?" Kitty's eyes grew huge. "Oh no. Like, the potion. I totally forgot." She sat straight up. "Like, be honest. Who did I fall in love with? It wasn't, like, someone totally nasty, was it?"
"Depends." Rogue gestured at Scott, who appeared to be passed out.
"Oh." Kitty considered this. "Well, like, he's not my first choice, but he's not as bad as some people." The dishcloth fell off her wrists. Kitty began working on the one around her ankles. "Who, like, tied me up?"
"I did. Sorry, Half-Pint. Long story." Logan propped Scott against the wall. "You were, um - you were kinda out of control."
Kitty blushed. "Was I like -" She looked significantly between Rogue and Logan- "that bad?"
Logan quirked an eyebrow. "I wouldn't know."
"Um, worse, in a different way," Rogue said quickly, blushing. "You did a lot of dancing. And told me Ah'd have to wear pink chiffon and bonnets to be in your wedding."
"Oh. Like, totally embarrassing." Kitty looked sheepish. She pulled away the second dishcloth and stood up, slightly shakey. "I hope this doesn't get out."
"Don't worry. I can't wait to forget the whole mess," Logan said fervently.
"Me either," Rogue agreed.
Kitty looked thoughtfully at Scott. "I mean, so - like, you two gave me the cure? And totally took care of everything?"
"Not everything. But we tried."
"Wow." Suddenly, Kitty turned to Rogue and gave her a spontaneous hug around the waist. "Thanks, like, so much. You're a lifesaver, Rogue." She pulled back. "Like, I'm so sorry for getting you involved in this."
Rogue was embarrassed. "Uh - no problem -" she said gruffly, and pulled away. "Ah mean, Ah just want to get out of this nightmare, you know."
Kitty bit her lower lip. "I'll help from now on. Like, I totally promise."
"OK." Logan motioned to Scott. "First thing we have to do is arrange a little meeting between this boy and Ororo."
"Where is Miss Ororo, anyway?"
"'Miss Ororo' is off in a closet somewhere," Logan sighed. "And we'd better go find her."
Rogue and Kitty dashed to the next closet. There was a slight scuffle. "Let me open this one!" Kitty demanded. "You've opened, like, the past ten! It's my turn!"
Rogue sighed and stepped back. "Whatever. It's not a game."
Kitty triumphantly swung the door open. "Ta-da!"
Rogue looked at the display of brooms, mops, and cleaning sprays with her eyebrows raised. "Impressive. Maybe she's hiding behind the Windex."
Kitty, who was in charge of the wine glasses and horseradish, glared. "Don't, like, be so sarcastic."
Rogue was carrying the wine bottle. She shifted it carefully to her other arm. "Then don't act like a little kid."
"Hey, girls. Play nice." Logan, who was in charge of the limp and befuddled Scott, came up behind them. "If she's not in here, she's in the next one down. Keep going."
Kitty made a face at Rogue and dashed to the next closet door. "Nothing in here," she announced, and raced over to the next one, ponytail bouncing.
Rogue hung back with Logan and Scott. "So," she said, carefully.
"Yeah, kid?"
"Well. Ah mean, once we make Ororo and Scott kiss, Scott will be cured. But Ororo will still be in love with you." Rogue said this in a carefully flat voice.
"In that case, we'll have to use the cure on her, too." Logan looked at Rogue quizzically. "There a problem with that, kid?"
"No!" Rogue said quickly. Then, after a pause, she added, "But - well - Ah mean - it's just gonna be bad for you, having to kiss her and all -"
Logan smiled to himself. "I can probably recover."
Rogue looked at him sharply. "You like her?"
"No! Don't be silly! She's been my friends for years. She's more like - my sister, or somethin'." Logan gazed at Rogue. "You sure are getting all fired up about this."
"Well -" Rogue coughed uncomfortably. "Just trying to - keep everyone happy -"
"Three for one, sale on aisle ten, please don't drop your pants," Scott mumbled softly.
Logan caught Rogue staring and shrugged. "He'll be OK."
"Ah hope."
Kitty appeared at the end of the hallway, eyes big and excited. "Like, I totally found her!" she called.
Rogue tensed.
Logan adjusted his grip on Scott. "Get ready. Kitty!" he called. "Come here and help Rogue mix up the cure. I'll have to kiss her first, because she won't come near Scott as long as she's under the influence of the damn potion."
Kitty obediently came over to where Rogue was standing, silently fuming. "She's in the big closet near the dining room. She tried to, like, slap me when I opened the door, but I bet she'll be more friendly with you. Totally."
Rogue just gave Kitty a smoldering glare.
Logan set Scott down by the wall, where he looked around confusedly and then dozed off. "All right. You two make the wine. This shouldn't take too long." He looked a little anxious.
Kitty mixed up the two glasses as fast as she could. Rogue stood by, watching with great disapproval. When Kitty was done, she handed the glasses to Logan, who straightened his collar before he accepted them.
"It, like, tastes pretty nasty," Kitty warned.
Logan took a sniff. "God. This won't be any fun at all."
Rogue rolled her eyes.
Logan winked at the two girls. "Wish me luck," he said, and disappeared down the hall.