CHAPTER SEVEN: DRAMA QUEEN
Rogue slouched against the wall, pouting; Kitty was doing stretches on the carpet. Between them, Scott sat like an oversized ragdoll, still mumbling vague, incoherent sentences and laughing every five minutes. The girls ignored him. It had been a full ten minutes since Logan disappeared around the corner with the wine glasses. Rogue was anxiously fidgeting. She kept crossing and uncrossing her arms, twitching her foot, or compulsively pushing her hair back behind her ear.
Kitty carefully lowered herself into a split. "You, like, look a little agitated."
"What?" Rogue looked at Kitty, startled out of her reverie. "What do you mean, agitated?"
"I mean," Kitty said, trying to stretch her legs even farther apart, "that you seem totally upset. And kinda jumpy. Like, you're nervous, or whatever."
"Oh. Well. Right." Rogue took a deep breath and willed herself to stop fidgeting.
Several moments passed.
"OK, now you just look, like, totally pyscho," Kitty blurted. She was trying a backbend now. "I mean, you're just sitting completely still, glaring at the walls. You haven't, like, even moved a finger in forever. Creepy."
Rogue exploded. "Well, what the hell do you expect me to do?!" she shouted.
Kitty stopping excercising and sat down, reflectively. "I dunno. Maybe, like, stop worrying about silly things. For a start."
Rogue gave her a dark look.
"I mean, like, for instance, maybe, like - Logan and Ororo?"
"They've been gone for nearly twelve minutes now," Rogue announced flatly. "How long can it take to drink wine and kiss in a closet?"
Kitty giggled. "A long time. Like, totally."
"Oh, what would you know about it?" Rogue snapped. She stood up and went to stand a few feet away, arms crossed tightly across her chest, her back to Kitty and Scott.
Kitty resumed stretching. "You know," she said, "I, like, thought of something kinda weird."
"Spare me. Please."
"No, like, this is serious!" Kitty tried to get her legs into the lotus position. "It's about the potion."
"What?" Rogue asked grudgingly.
"OK. When I was, like, under the effect of the potion, I was giving you and Logan a real hard time, right?"
Rogue rolled her eyes. "Definitely."
"But, like, I never used my powers. I mean, Logan was able to totally tie me up and everything. And I acted as if I didn't even have the power to escape."
Rogue felt herself growing interested in spite of herself. "That's true."
"And - like - when Scott tried to kill Logan, as clearly as I can remember, he, like, only threatened him with a knife or whatever. He could have just ripped off his glasses and totally - boom."
Rogue winced.
"And Ororo! She didn't call up any storms to try and stop Scott." Kitty managed to get herself into a shakey lotus position. "I mean, it's, like, weird. You know? It's like we all lose our powers when we take the potion-"
"Or else just get so messed up that we forget about them completely."
"Good point." Kitty considered this. She glanced at Scott. "It would be, like, too risky to test it with him, wouldn't it?"
"Um - Ah guess so -" But Rogue was looking intrigued. She went to stand over Scott, who looked up at her through his red glasses and grinned weakly. Rogue and Kitty exchanged glances.
"Maybe - if we aim him at, like, a wall or something -" Kitty carefully pulled herself out of the lotus position. "I mean, this is an interesting observation or whatever. We need to, like, study and test theories, right?"
"Right," Rogue agreed.
Scott laughed faintly. "Didn't the drawer come out in the big green hospital?" he asked, voice weak and garbled.
Kitty bit her lower lip. "On second thought -"
"No, let's do it." Rogue was excited. "Get out of the way, Kitty." Slowly, gingerly, Rogue began reaching for Scott's red sunglasses.
Kitty moved nervously to the side.
Rogue's hand closed around the stem of the glasses.
"Like, maybe we shouldn't-"
Rogue took a deep breath and steeled herself to yank the glasses off. Three - two - one -
"Stop!"
Startled, Rogue turned around. Logan came running towards her, panicked. When he reached her, he snatched her hand away from Scott's sunglasses and stared down at her, eyes slightly wild. "What the hell are you doin', kid? Have you gone mad? You can't take his damn glasses off! You could have been - you would have been -" Disgusted, Logan let her wrist drop. "What's wrong with you, kid?"
Rogue's face flamed. "Nothing," she spat, voice hard and chagrined. "None of your business."
"Well, I think it is, seein' as you were about to commit suicide."
Rogue didn't answer. Just glowered at the floor.
"It was, like, my fault too, Logan," Kitty piped up. "I mean, I, like, had the idea-"
"You have caused enough trouble," Logan interrupted harshly. The girls had never seem him look so agitated. "I think it's best if both you girls just keep your hands to yourselves from now on."
Rogue and Kitty exchanged sullen looks. "You're not mah father," Rogue muttered.
Logan was silent.
The three stood in a circle, all of them tense, all of them irritated and confused.
"Logan? What's wrong?"
The three of them looked at the end of the hallway. Ororo stood there, hair slightly mussed, a sheepish expression on her face. She was hastily buttoning the top few buttons of her blouse. "What is it?" she asked again, coming closer. Rogue was relieved to see that Ororo was obviously back to her usual refined self. Her voice was clear and even, her movements elegant and subdued. Gone was the simpering, maudlin vixen. "Is something the matter?"
Logan sighed. "No - just the girls - and him-" He gestured at Scott.
Ororo's eyes widened. "Scott?! Is he OK?"
Scott raised his head at the sound of his name. "No," he said indistinctly. "I did not take the duck, and I wouldn't ever make you into a cake. It wasn't three. It was a color named Fred."
Ororo raised a hand to her mouth. "Oh my god. Poor child." Her dark eyes filled with tears. "He's gone mad, hasn't he?"
"Well - not exactly - we don't know what's wrong." Logan scratched his neck sheepishly. "Um. To be perfectly honest, at some point in the whole mess - I - ah - I suppose I sort of - had to - hit him."
"Hit him? You didn't!" Ororo knelt carefully beside Scott. "Will he recover?"
"Well, he was already a little mad," Rogue piped in. "Ah mean, he was talking about killing himself because you didn't want to have sex with him."
Ororo looked shocked. "Oh. My."
"Look," Logan said wearily, "all you have to do is drink the wine and kiss him. That's it."
"And he'll be OK after that? You're sure?"
"Well, he won't be in love with you anymore."
Ororo put a hand on Scott's forehead. "He's feverish."
Kitty tapped her on the shoulder.
"What, child? Oh." Ororo skeptically accepted the two cloudy glasses of white wine. She sniffed at them and made a face. "How - unique."
"It's better if you don't smell it," Rogue offered.
"And make sure you, like, kiss him hard," Kitty added.
Ororo sighed. "This is ridiculous." She looked at Kitty. "If only I had managed to stop you that day in the kitchen."
Kitty bit her lower lip, looking guilty.
"Well. No help for it now." Putting a brave smile on, Ororo held one glass of wine up to her lips and the other up to Scott's. He blinked blearily. Ororo smiled at him. Scott's eyes widened. Suddenly, he seemed neither weak nor faint. He sat straight up, nearly knocking the wine glasses out of Ororo's hands.
"Ororo!" Scott cried. "You've returned to me! I knew you would, my love, my all." He leaned forwards, lips puckered.
"Drink this first," Ororo interjected quickly, handing him the wine.
Scott gulped it down greedily and without question, then threw the glass aside. Logan caught it deftly before it could shatter against the wall. Rogue gave him a grateful look. He winked.
"Now we can kiss," Ororo said, looking a little unenthusiastic herself. She shut her eyes and leaned forwards, lips pursed like a hesitant little kid.
But Scott had returned to his former mad state. He looked around, pale and sweaty and, Rogue was sure, wild-eyed behind his glasses. He grabbed Ororo by the shoulders and shook her roughly. "Duck feast! Duck feast!" he screamed. "It doesn't know how much to give!" He grabbed Ororo in a passionate frenzy and began kissing her as hard as he could manage. They caught one last glimpse of Ororo's horrified face before it was hidden by Scott's greedy mouth.
Kitty and Rogue looked at each other, at a loss for words. "Wow."
Logan seemed baffled. "'Duck feast?' What does that mean?"
"Search me," Rogue said.
Kitty giggled and shrugged.
Abruptly, Scott stopped kissing Ororo and let her drop. Taken offguard, she fell against the floor with a thud. Scott looked around, bewildered and disoriented. He put a hand up to his nose. It came away slightly bloody. "Where -" he began.
Kitty cut him off. "Like, please, Scott. No more about ducks and pants, OK?"
Scott gazed blankly at her. "I just had-" he said slowly - "a really weird dream."
"Didn't we all," Logan sighed. He leaned against the wall, still clutching the wine glass.
"What happened?" Scott looked at the girls beseechingly. "Kitty? Marie?"
"I guess we'll have to explain," Kitty sighed. "Like, come on, Scott. We can talk in the kitchen."
"You hit me?" Scott, holding a cold compress to his head, gave Logan a pained look. "In the face?"
"Hey, kid, I sorta had to. You were, uh - you were threatening to kill me. And you sorta thought I was going to - um -" Logan stopped looking defensive and started looking a little embarrassed.
"Rape you," Kitty supplied helpfully.
Rogue snickered as Scott's face turned the same shade as his glasses. "I just - I just don't get it. I don't understand it at all."
"It's OK." Ororo patted him on the back. "It's very complicated. Just be glad we're all OK."
Scott sighed. "I didn't hurt you or anything, did I?" he asked Ororo, looking guilty.
"No, no. It's fine. It wasn't your fault."
Rogue, looking at Ororo smiling compassionately, felt a sudden burst of guilt on her part. "Uh, Ororo?"
"Yes, child?"
"Um. Well. Ah'm sorry Ah called you a cow."
Ororo blinked. "Pardon me?"
"Oh, forget it. It's just - Ah guess Ah got a bit - um - you were a little annoying when you were on the potion, and Ah guess Ah said some things Ah shouldn't have." Rogue began to wish she'd never brought the topic up.
"Oh." Ororo glanced back and forth between Rogue and Logan. "Oh!"
Rogue blushed furiously.
Kitty tactfully changed the subject. "Look, Scott. Like, this whole thing is sorta totally my fault. Like, I made this love potion, and then I accidentally left it in the fridge, and Jean kinda, like, put in in the tomato soup, and we all drank it, and like, yeah. I'm totally sorry."
Scott mulled over this. "Oh. OK." Then he looked around, confused. "Wait a sec. Where is Jean?"
Rogue cleared her throat. "We don't know. To be honest, we last saw her in the girl's room at school."
"What do you mean? She's OK, isn't she?"
"We assume." Rogue couldn't help enjoying this, as wicked as it was. "She's - well." Rogue put on a very tragic face. "Scott, Ah hate to break it to you, but Jean is now in love with Kurt."
Kitty and Scott winced simultaneously.
"Careful." Ororo patted Scott's back. "Take it easy."
"But - why? How?" Scott gripped the compress a little tighter. "I just don't get it. No - wait a moment. It's the potion, isn't it?"
"Bingo," said Rogue brightly.
"I guess that's a relief in one way." Scott considered the situation. "But how can we get her back to normal?"
"Same as we did with everyone else," Rogue said. "Wine, kiss, spell broken."
Scott groaned. "Where could she be?"
"And where is Kurt?" Kitty asked anxiously.
Ororo perked up. "I know where Kurt is, at least."
They all looked at her in surprise.
"It was early this afternoon, before the potion had even started working. I had just finished my soup when Kurt called from school, saying he felt sick and needed to come home. I got in the car and went to pick him up. He looked pretty bad. It was right after lunch, so I assumed it was food poisoning. I was driving Kurt home when the potion took effect with me. I saw Logan-" Ororo gestured- "through the car window. Kurt got out and went upstairs to his room. I ran into Scott, the whole mess started. You know the rest."
"So why didn't Kurt fall in love with you?" Kitty demanded.
"He didn't really lift his head the whole car ride," Ororo said with a shrug. "Maybe he didn't see me. Maybe the potion hadn't begun working yet."
"He drank a lot of it," Rogue remembered.
"Maybe it made him sick?" Kitty wondered nervously.
"The point is," Logan interjected firmly, "is that Jean is somewhere loose, in love with Kurt, and Kurt is up in his room sick. Once we get the two of them together, Kurt will fall in love with her, they can drink the wine and kiss, and it will all be over."
"Thank God," Ororo sighed.
Rogue glanced at Kitty to see how she was taking this news. Her face looked tense and determined. A bad feeling sprang up in the pit of Rogue's stomach. "Kitty-"
"No," Kitty said.
They all stared at her.
Rogue reached out a hand to touch the sleeve of Kitty's shirt. She shook it off impatiently. "No."
"Kitty, listen. Ah know you don't want Kurt in love with Jean. But it's not real - it's only the potion. And it will all be over in a minute or two. You have to be reasonable-" Rogue sounded a little desperate.
"I do not!" Kitty shouted. "Like, leave me alone! I know what I'm doing!"
"You do not," Rogue shouted back, losing patience. "This whole horrible mess was because of you. And Ah'll be damned if Ah stand by and watch you make it worse."
In reponse, Kitty suddenly vanished.
"Shit!" Rogue went pale. Without a word to anyone, she dashed out of the room, leaving the kitchen door swinging behind her.
There was a long silence.
"Um. Where exactly did they go?" Scott asked.
Logan sighed deeply. "I dunno, but I have the feelin' they're not up to any good."