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CHAPTER TEN: GOTH GIRL STRIKES BACK

Kitty pulled Rogue out into the hallway, away from the prying eyes of the others. "Listen, Rogue, this is, like, kinda desperate," she hissed urgently. "I mean, like, I got myself into some totally bad trouble here."

"Tell me something Ah didn't know," Rogue said dryly.

"No, come on." Kitty seemed on the verge on a nervous breakdown. "Don't, like, be mean to me, Rogue. You're my last hope! Totally!"

Rogue sighed. "Why me?"

"I don't know. Like, I always felt like I could trust you."

"Lucky me."

Kitty's eyes grew teary. "Rogue - please - I'm, like, begging."

"All right, fine! Ah'll help. But-" she said warningly, cutting off Kitty's ecstatic squeal, "when this whole mess is over, Ah am asking the Professor for a change of rooms."

Kitty looked a little hurt, but she didn't have time to worry about it at the moment. "Like, listen carefully. When Ororo came up and dragged Kurt down to-" She paused, making a face- "You know - CURE him or whatever - I just felt, like, so totally bummed out that I went over to the school." Kitty paused, waiting for Rogue's incredulous reaction.

She wasn't disappointed. "You went WHERE?!"

"OK, OK, I know, it was, like, totally a weird thing to do," Kitty said, blushing. "I was just upset, OK? And I couldn't think of anywhere else to go. So I went over to the school. Like, don't look at me that way! It made sense at the time."

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Knowing you, Ah'm sure it did."

Kitty pushed on bravely. "And - the thing is - well. You know how Lance, like, drank some of the soup?"

Rogue nodded, almost not wanting to hear the rest of the story.

"I thought he must have, you know, seen a girl in one of his classes, and already fallen in love." Kitty swallowed. "But it turns out he went into the restroom to smoke. And when he was in there, like, I don't know, he decided he was gonna stay in there, hiding, and skip that test in English."

Rogue winced. "Oh, god. We missed that test, too."

"Whatever. The point is, like, I was walking around the hallways, and all of a sudden Lance came out of the restroom, and- and- I guess I was, like, the first girl he'd seen since he drank the soup. So." Kitty swallowed hard. "So. Yeah. That's, like, what happened."

"And Ah suppose now he's helplessly in love with you," Rogue said wearily. "And he's been trying to get you into bed for the past half hour, and you want me to go make that damn cure so you can kiss him, etcetera etcetera, so on and so forth." She rubbed her temples, looking tired. "God. Kitty, sometimes Ah just want to - to-"

"Hurt me?" Kitty suggested in a small voice.

"No, not exactly." More exhausted than irritated, Rogue managed a very small, very grudging smile. "Ah'll go get the wine. You go get Lance." She started for the kitchen. "And Ah thought Ah'd never have to deal with the damn wine and horseradish again . . . "

Behind her, she heard Kitty quickly scamper out of the room.

Back in the kitchen, she was met with six curious pairs of eyes. She cleared her throat. "Um - long story. Ah, uh - this will just take a moment. You guys can stay here and relax." She grinned nervously.

"I think we might need to know what's goin' on, kid," Logan said.

In response, Rogue made a beeline for the wine and horseradish.

"Not again!" Ororo exclaimed. "You must be teasing."

"Ah wish Ah was," Rogue said grimly, gripping the wine bottle around its slender neck. "But Ah'm not."

"She went and brought the Brotherhood into it, didn't she?" Kurt said darkly. He seemed suddenly jealous. "I saw that Lance character drinking the soup. She made it for HIM, didn't she?"

Rogue headed for the door. "Don't be silly, Kurt," she said, pausing at the doorway. A wicked idea entered her head. "She made it for you." And, having dropped that bombshell, Rogue calmly left the kitchen and found her way back to the hall.

Kitty was standing in the doorway, biting her lower lip and looking tense. "He's on the lawn. Like, I can't get him to come inside."

"What? Why the hell not?"

"I don't know," Kitty said miserably. "Could we just, you know, hurry or whatever?"

"Sure. Fine." The girls stepped out into the sunshine, Rogue blinking slightly at the sudden burst of light. "You know," Rogue said casually, as they rounded the corner of the building, "Ah just told Kurt why you made the potion."

Kitty turned as white as a ghost and as red as a tomato, in quick succession. "You totally did not!"

Rogue nodded. "Yes, ah did."

Kitty stopped dead in her tracks. "I - I totally hate you. You just ruined my life."

"What? It was the truth. Ah mean, you made it kinda obvious, going and forcing him to fall in love with you, and then going and getting Lance in revenge of Jean-"

"It was not in revenge," Kitty hissed. "Like, I told you. It was an accident."

"Well." Rogue dismissed this with an elequent shrug. "Ah'm not gonna argue with you. Ah told Kurt the truth. Ah'd think you'd be happy with me." She cut a glance towards her friend, who was trailing along after her, pouting and hunched. "After all, if Kurt never even realized you like him, this whole mess will have been a waste. Right?"

Kitty shrugged grudgingly. "Maybe you, like, have a point."

"Ah do," Rogue said confidently. "Don't worry. It would only be embarrassing if he didn't like you back."

"Well, he doesn't," Kitty sniffed. "He hates me. Totally."

"No, he does not," Rogue said. "Don't be pathetic, Kitty. He's head over heels for you, and you know it."

Kitty looked up, eyes bright through her tears. "Like - do you - do you mean it?"

"Sure. It's obvious."

Kitty considered this, a shy smile playing around the corners of her lips.

"If you'd just been smart enough to realize it, instead of moping around whining, we wouldn't be in this mess now," Rogue continued. "We'd be-" She stopped dead in her tracks, her words dying in her throat. She blinked several times. "Oh. My. God."

Lance, an unregnizable sniveling heap, sat slouched over and quivering in the middle of the tennis court. His shoulders were heaving with sobs, and snot and tears ran in moist trickles down his face. His eyelids were pink and puffy, and he seemed about two teardrops away from sucking his thumb. Rogue had never seen a more pitiful sight in her life. Not even Lance in real life could match this soggy, pathetic heap.

Kitty fidgeted nervously. "I, like, told you. It's having a kinda weird affect on him. Like, when I told him I didn't want to sleep with him, I thought he'd get angry or whatever. But instead he totally broke down into, like, tears. He's just been following me around crying ever since. It's, like, kinda upsetting."

Lance looked up through his swollen eyelids and noticed the two of them, staring at him in disgust. He began crying again, almost choking on his tears. "You brought someone to laugh at me, didn't you? It's-it's-it's OK. I don't mind. I'm worthless, I'm nothing. Laugh at me all you want." He rubbed his eyes with his fists. "Go ahead, kill me! Let the pathetic baby die!"

Kitty and Rogue exchanged uncertain glances.

"Ah see a pattern," Rogue said after a moment. "Like, think about it. Scott turned into a tragic hero. Ororo turned into a - a flaming temptress." She blushed when Kitty giggled, but pushed on anyway. "Jean turned into a crazy tart, Kurt turned into a passionate lover, you turned into a raving ditz, and Logan turned into a - horny - maniac. Or something. And now Lance has turned into a sniveling infant." She looked at Kitty questioningly. "What do you think it means?"

Kitty shrugged. "Maybe - like - everyone's true side is revealed when they - like - drink the potion?" she ventured.

"Something along those general lines."

Kitty studied Lance. "I wonder what, like, YOU would be," she said, voice carefully even.

Rogue shot her a dark look.

At that moment, Lance let out a forlorn wail. "I hate myself! I hate myself! Nobody lives him. Nobody loves him at all." Before the two girls could do anything, he began crawling rapidly towards Kitty. "He'll get her, though. He'll make her love him!" He snatched at Kitty's ankles.

Rogue leapt aside, nearly dropping the wine bottle. "What the hell?! Why is he using third person now?!"

Kitty, looked scared, shook Lance off. "Like, I don't know. This is creepy."

Lance landed one the ground and curled up into a fetal ball. "I - I - I can't stand it," he whimpered. "Rejection! Rejection!"

"Um." Rogue uncorked the bottle and set the glasses on the lawn. "Ah'll just fix this up really quick, OK?"

"OK." Kitty kept a wary eye on Lance. "Thanks, Rogue. Like, you're a total life-saver."

Rogue smiled dryly to herself.

Lance trembled compulsively. "Will she kill him? Will she kill him and end his misery?"

"This isn't like love," Kitty said scornfully. "This is like a totally bad horror movie or something. Or, like, a Lifetime special my mom would watch."

"Ah'd hate to meet your mom," Rogue muttered, shaking the last few crumbs of horseradish into the glasses. She straightened up and handed one of the glasses to Kitty, looking worried. "Be careful. We don't have much horseradish left."

"I will." Kitty looked at the quivering heap. "Like, what about him?"

"Ah'll handle him," Rogue said grimly, narrowing her eyes. "You just worry about kissing him."

Kitty made a face. "Third time's a charm, I guess."

Rogue went and knelt next to Lance. He looked up at her, blinking and snotty-faced. "If there's a fourth time," she said darkly to Kitty, "you're on your own, kid."

"You, like, sound like Logan," Kitty teased.

Rogue cleared her throat menacingly.

"Oh. Like, right." Kitty held the wine glass up to her lips and watched Rogue anxiously. "Ready when you are. Totally."

Rogue nudged Lance over with her elbow. He flopped onto his back and stared at her, sniffling mournfully. Rogue, after a few seconds of thinking carefully about the matter, realized she'd have to prop his head up on her lap. Wrinkling her nose in disgust, she gingerly positioned herself behind the prostrate Lance and lugged his head into her lap. He lolled around, confused and helpless. Rogue tipped the wineglass to his lips.

"I'm - I'm - I'm not drinking that," Lance moaned.

"Oh, yes, you are, you snotty anklebiter," Rogue said, ominous. "You're drinking or you're getting stuffed in the garbage disposal. Take your pick."

Lance whimpered. "No! He's not!"

Rogue thought quickly. "It's poision," she said temptingly. "To kill him off."

Lance's eyes brightened. "Is it from her? The one who scorns him?"

Rogue cleared her throat. "Uh - yes, actually. Drink up!" -How do Ah get myself into these things?- she wondered, disgusted, as Lance began greedily slurping down the wine. Because of his awkward position on her lap, he managed to get a great deal of it on her pants and skirt. Rogue gave Kitty a mean look. "You better be ready."

"I, like, am." Kitty, nervous, shut her eyes and pursed her lips.

"No, you gotta come down here. Ah'm sure as hell not lugging him up to your level."

Kitty sighed, but obeyed. Kneeling down, she titled her head towards Lance's moist, swollen face. With a sick sensation in her stomach, she felt their lips touch.

Rogue couldn't keep back an amused smile.

"This is, like, totally gross," Kitty said, muffled. "I think I'm gonna totally puke."

"Save it till you're done kissing," Rogue counseled.

Luckily for Kitty, Lance was like a cold fish, and their kiss hardly lasted more than a minute. After one last smack for good measure, Kitty got up and ran to stand at the edge of the tennis court, furiously wiping her mouth with her sleeve and making gagging noises. Rogue looked down at Lance's head in her lap. Too late, she realized he'd opened his eyes, and was staring up at her without a hint of sniveling or pathos. If anything, he looked confused, irritated, and flattered, all at once.

"Um-" Rogue said, searching wildly for the right explanation.

Lance grinned. "So. The dark and bitter Prozac-girl finally warms up." He winked. "Knew I'd convert you someday. You know, babe, without all that purple lipstick, I think you're kinda hot." He lowered his voice. "I mean, me and the boys agreed. You have the greatest ass in Bayville High." And he reached behind her and pinched it.

Rogue went flushed crimson with fury. "You - you-" she stammered, infuriated beyond words. "You-"

Lance smirked confidently and sat up, facing her. "Hey, don't try to ruin the moment with words, babe. I know you want me. In fact, I guess I kinda want you, too. I hear Goth chicks are tigers in the sack."

Rogue said the first thing that popped into her head. "You have snot on your face."

Lance began to laugh, realized something was wrong, and lifted his hand to his face instead. His confident grin changed into a horrified gape. "What - what? What the hell is going on?!" He rose to his feet, chagrined and agitated. "How did I get here, anyhow? This isn't funny. You X-Geeks are messng with my head."

Rogue couldn't suppress a laugh.

Lance turned on her furiously. "What's so funny, Morticia? You think it's funny how I was pulling your strings back there? Making you think I'd ever want a depressed weirdo like you?"

Rogue's eyes turned dark. "Get the hell out of here."

"I'd love to, Cruella. Show me the gates."

Rogue pointed stonily.

"Don't think I won't be back!" Lance called, as he stormed across the grounds. "I don't let goody-goody freaks like you get away with this! You'll see!"

Rogue screamed something extremely rude at his retreating back.

Lance flipped her off.

Rogue, breathing heavily, her cheeks stained red, hardly heard Kitty come up behind her, eyes big. When Kitty timidly tapped her on the shoulder, Rogue yelped and whirled around. Kitty stepped backwards, looking uncertain. "Um. Hey."

"Hey," Rogue said bitterly, not meeting her eyes.

"Like - I guess - I just wanted to apologize. And say 'thank you.'" Kitty bit her lower lip. "Like, I'm so sorry. You're such a good friend, Rogue." Suddenly, overcome with emotion, Kitty grabbed Rogue in a fierce hug. Rogue was too surprised to object. "Like, if I can pay you back in any way at all, I totally will. You're the best."

"Um." Feeling awkward, and trying to disguise how touched she really was, Rogue gently detached Kitty's arms from around her shoulders. "Be careful. It's kinda risky, hugging me."

"Oh. Like, right." Kitty stepped back and grinned, a little sheepish. "Thanks again."

"Don't keep on thanking me," Rogue said gruffly. "You'd do the same for me."

"Totally."

The two girls smiled at each other, feeling oddly at peace.

After a few seconds, Rogue cleared her throat. "The others are worried. We beter - you know - go in and tell them it's all right."

"OK. Like, yeah."

As the girls started towards the mansion entrance, Rogue became aware that Kitty was hanging back a little strangely. "Kitty?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing back there?"

"Well -" Kitty smiled wickedly. "I mean, I'm like, trying to figure out if he was right."

"Who?"

"When he said you have the greatest ass in Bayville High."

"Kitty!" Rogue went brilliant scarlet again. "Don't start on me!"

Kitty giggled. "I mean, like, I have to know, so I can figure out whether or not to be jealous."

Rogue stalked ahead, embarrassed.

"I don't think he was right!" Kitty called, laughing. "In fact, he was, like, dead wrong. You're totally hideous from behind."

"You're digging your own grave," Rogue said, but she said it with a relenting smile.

At the door, however, Kitty quickly grew serious. A look of panic came into her eyes. She balked on the front steps, irritating Rogue. "Like, I can't," she moaned. "I totally can't. I can never face him again. Like, my life is over if he sees me. Totally over."

"Spare me the junior high drama," Rogue said impatiently. "Ah told you, he knew already. And you know Kurt. He's not gonna blurt it out."

"But you, like, said it front of EVERYONE!" Kitty said tragically. "Ororo and Jean and Scott and Logan - it's, like, too humiliating. I will die. My life is totally over."

"Kitty-"

"What?"

"Remember how you said you'd do anything to repay me?"

"Yeah . . . "

"Well, repay me by getting your skinny ass throught his door." Rogue gestured menacingly. "Ah mean NOW. If Ah leave you out here, you're just gonna get in more trouble."

"I can't repay you by totally embarassing myself!" Kitty wailed, not moving an inch. "I, like, have another way to repay you. I'm gonna-" Slowly, the tragic look drained from Kitty's face, replaced by a thoughtful smile. Seeming to have forgotten all about her drama with Kurt, Kitty studied Rogue with a strange smile, tilting her head from side to side.

Rogue felt suddenly nervous. "Um. What's wrong now?"

"Oh, nothing." Kitty grinned. "Just, like, planning my thank-you gift to you."

"Please, Kitty. Don't trouble yourself." Rogue didn't like the look in her friend's eyes. "Ah mean it. DON'T."

"But I totally have to do SOMETHING!" Kitty objected innocently. "And I have, like, the perfect plan." She skipped up the stairs. "Come on. We're going inside."

Rogue, considering her options, followed reluctantly. "Kitty. You're going the wrong way. The kitchen's this way."

Kitty paused, halfway up the stairs. "I'm not going to the kitchen." She smiled mischievously. "I'm, like, going to our room. And you're coming, too."

"No, Ah'm not," Rogue said immediately.

"Yes, you totally are."

"No, Ah'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, Ah am NOT. Now stop annoying me and come down here."

Instead of obeying, Kitty leaned her head to one side, pretending to think. "Hmm - now what could I do to make you come with me? Oh. Like, I know! What if I took that, like, DIARY you keep under your bed and passed it to a certain someone. Like, how'd you like that?"

Rogue went a dangerous red. "You wouldn't."

"Oh, but I totally would," Kitty said gleefully.

"You wouldn't!"

In response, Kitty turned and ran the rest of the way up the stairs.

"Kitty!!" Rogue shrieked. Enraged, she dashed up the staircase; in her blind panic, she almost slammed into Kitty, who had stopped dead at the top. Rogue glared at her, eyes livid. "Katherine Pryde, you are the only girl Ah know pathetic enough to blackmail someone into letting you give them a gift."

"And Marie, you are the only girl I know pathetic enough to, like, refuse a thank-you present." Kitty paused. "Like, I take this to mean you'll cooperate?"

Rogue glared at her suspiciously. "What exactly are you doing to me?"

Kitty smiled triumphantly. "We're going to get you a man."