Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JKR, except the plot.
A/N: Thank you again for the reviews, and to Sunglow999. Just to answer one review I had from Coesius: I know about the animagi, and this chapter should answer you.
Watch out for a quick take on that silly UK shampoo advert, can't remember which shampoo it is though (the one with the banjo duet).
Chapter 3 - Hair today, gone tomorrow
The next few weeks passed in a blur. Hermione had been to see Myrtle, who had graciously consented to her using the end toilet. Once you got to know Myrtle she wasn't that bad. Having a regular visitor cheered Myrtle up and she became more sociable. She knew that Hermione was only there temporarily, and that their friendship wouldn't last. The other castle ghosts noticed she wasn't moaning anymore, which encouraged them to include her in their activities.
The research into conditioner was going well, as was the ongoing meditation. Neville didn't need her anymore but Hermione had gathered a large clientele of girls, eager for instruction. There had been a few private lessons with one or two Slytherin boys (Crabbe and Goyle) and her mind still boggled at their initial contact with her. They had followed Draco's lead during the war by coming over to the side of the Light. Draco had decided that he was too intelligent to follow his father blindly, and had gone to Dumbledore who had promised to protect him.
Crabbe and Goyle had cornered her in the Library a few days ago, and it had been quite a scary moment for her. Two huge shadows had loomed over her, and she quickly grasped her wand up her sleeve. Four boat-like feet had shuffled nervously.
Flashback
"Wehearyou'regivinlessons" she thought it was Goyle, but couldn't be sure.
"Pardon?"
"We hear you're giving lessons." Definitely Goyle.
"Lessons?"
"You know. Like Neville." That was Crabbe, who looked furtively behind him.
Hermione looked at them in astonishment.
"What did you have in mind?"
"Dunno. But Neville has them all over him." Goyle went an unpleasant shade of purple.
"Has what all over him?" this was getting scarier and scarier.
"Girls." Now Crabbe was blushing, and it wasn't pretty. Hermione could feel the hysterical laughter rising, but swallowed it down. How on earth was she going to get out of this?
"Look, can I think this over? Meet me in the Astronomy tower..." she consulted a rather fat Filofax "The day after tomorrow, nine... no, better make that eight o'clock. OK?"
They both nodded in tandem. I hope they don't do everything together, she thought.
Hermione could see her life slowly spiralling out of control. Not only did she have an extremely heavy workload of homework, not to mention the animagi lessons with McGonegall, she now had to come up with something to make the Frankensteins of Slytherin attractive to girls.
They met her in the Astronomy tower two days later. It had quickly got round the school that this was now her exclusive territory. Filch had abandoned all hope of ever catching couples there again, and was now concentrating on the more remote corridors. Hermione still had to make sure Snape was not around, although she had lost points on three occasions when she'd lost track of time. Unfortunately, it had been with three different boys. If she weren't careful she'd be getting quite a reputation.
Professor McGonegall had discreetly questioned her during their study sessions, and it had been a relief to finally confess to her head of house. Once McGonegall knew about Hermiones "therapy" lessons, she would ensure there was no gossip about her.
Hermione had decided on dancing lessons for the terrible twosome. Lavender and Parvati had been roped in reluctantly as partners. Plus they could help with makeover tips. There were limits to Hermione's talents, after all.
It was hopeless. She was nearly in tears towards the end, and then a miracle happened. Draco appeared. Crabbe and Goyle both stood up straighter when they saw their "boss".
"Well, well, well. What have we here? A party - and I wasn't invited."
"Shove it, Draco. Can't you see we're busy?" Hermione snapped.
"I can see alright. It looks like you'll be busy for the next ten years if things don't improve. What's the problem?" he leant against the wall.
Hermione came over and dragged him to a corner.
"Look" she hissed, "Tweedledum and Tweedledee over there want girlfriends, and I'm trying to teach them some poise. Any suggestions?"
"Yes, actually. They need a demonstration."
"Demonstration?"
"Yes. Do you know how to waltz?"
"Yes."
"Good." And with a wave of his wand, music surrounded them. He took Hermione's hand and swept her into the centre of the room, twirling her round and round in a Viennese waltz.
After that, it was simple. Draco and Hermione would show them a step, and they would copy. They were actually quite light on their feet, even if they did look like Neanderthals. Lavender and Parvati admitted afterwards that they both felt quite fragile against the two giant boys, and would be happy to continue as their partners, as well as give them a makeover.
She scheduled three more sessions with them all, and left them to practice. Draco followed her down the stairs in silence.
"Thanks, Draco."
"No problem. I couldn't resist coming to find out what was going on. There have been rumours, Hermione."
She sighed. "I know. If you've got time, I'll tell you all about it in the Library tomorrow?"
"Sure, wouldn't miss it for the world." He grinned, and slipped away.
"This is getting to be a habit, Miss Granger. Thirty points."
"You're giving me points, Professor Snape?"
"That will be fifty points taken away, Miss Granger, for your cheek. Now get back to your common room before I make it a detention." Snape was barely controlling his fury by now. He'd been prowling this tower every night for weeks now, and more often than not he'd caught her sneaking down just before curfew.
What was she doing up there? A revolving door would have to be installed soon. His fury had absolutely nothing to do with the number of boys he'd caught her with. And if he continued to tell himself that, he may come to believe it.
"Yes, sir. I'd better be going." She peeked up at him through gold-tipped lashes and slid past him, just brushing close enough to get a lungful of his scent. Then she fled, heart pounding.
End Flashback
So here she was, in Myrtle's bathroom, ready to test her first batch. She ladled the scented mixtures into bottles. There were two cauldrons, one for shampoo, one for conditioner. The thick liquid slid through her fingers sensuously. There was a heady smell of light musk and herbs and her head lifted suddenly. No, it couldn't be? She'd subconsciously analysed Snape's scent and incorporated them into her new products. This was going to be torture for her! Not only was she constantly thinking about him but also she'd be surrounded by a feminine version of his smell. Myrtle came to investigate the dull clang that came from the end toilet and found Hermione banging her head against the shampoo cauldron.
"Not going too well?" she asked
"No, it's OK Myrtle. Just a headache."
"You won't make it better by doing that, then. Why don't you go and see Madam Pomfrey?" some ghosts just didn't get it, thought Hermione.
"I'll do that, thanks. I'll let you know how this works, Myrtle. You've been very kind to let me use your toilet."
If ghosts could go pink, Myrtle would have. As it was, she went a shade denser.
"Anytime, Hermione."
Cleaning everything up and shrinking the bottles, she exited the bathroom. She would miss this if it worked. It had been a haven of peace in the otherwise mad world of Hermione Granger. She was eternally grateful she had declined the position of Head Girl. Yes, it would have looked good on her curriculum vitae, but the impressive number of OWLS and NEWTS would more than make up for it.
No lessons were scheduled that evening, so she had time for a nice long soak in the bath before dinner.
While the bath ran she opened her diary to check her list. She could cross off Neville, Ron, and half of number nine. Ron and Susan were inseparable now. From the look on Ron's face all the time, it seemed he was getting the benefit of Susan's yoga technique. He must be doing something right, because Susan was walking around with the same goofy expression.
Broomstick lessons could wait until the better weather. Harry had agreed that to get over the fear of flying, gale force weather was probably not a good idea. It would be tight, as Quidditch season would be starting soon. They would have to either get up really early in the morning, or sneak out at night. Hermione would prefer the nighttime option. She didn't want anyone seeing her make a prat of herself.
She was also well on her way to becoming an Animagi. The meditation had been an excellent idea, as this focussed her energy. Apparently, the animal you became depended on the state of mind, and your inner animal emerged like a butterfly from a cocoon. Once you changed, you were that forever. McGonegall hadn't let her try to change yet, and Hermione was happy with that. She definitely didn't want to end up a mishmash of creatures, she was that confused.
Bath run, she sank below the surface, heaving a sigh of relief. The hot water soothed the tense muscles of her shoulders and she lay there for a while. She vaguely heard Lavender and Parvati coming back to their room to change, and so she sat up to wash her hair. The thick shampoo made a rich, fragrant lather, and Hermione's skin tingled as the scent enveloped her. It was a poor substitute for the real thing, but it would have to do. The conditioner was rinsed off under the shower and she wrung the excess moisture from her waist length hair. Drying herself, she closed her eyes as she muttered the spell on her hair. Then opened them. She stared, her eyes wide. Where had those ringlets come from? A glossy mass of curls fell like a waterfall down her back with not a sign of frizz. She shook her head and watched as they settled back into place.
She bent over and shook her head again, writhing like mad to make it as messy as possible, nearly falling over the toilet as she did so.
"Are you OK in there, Hermione?" Lavender called. Hermione stood up quickly and steadied herself on the wall.
"Uh.. fine, thanks. I'll be out in a minute." She was a bit breathless from her exertions. She looked in the mirror again and was amazed to see each curl in place. She gathered the sides up and turned this way and that, admiring the shine.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!"
"Err.. Hermione? Are you sure you're OK?" Lavender tapped hesitantly and fell into the bathroom as the door opened suddenly.
"Absolutely, fine, Lavender. Ready to go to dinner?"
TBC
A/N: Thank you again for the reviews, and to Sunglow999. Just to answer one review I had from Coesius: I know about the animagi, and this chapter should answer you.
Watch out for a quick take on that silly UK shampoo advert, can't remember which shampoo it is though (the one with the banjo duet).
Chapter 3 - Hair today, gone tomorrow
The next few weeks passed in a blur. Hermione had been to see Myrtle, who had graciously consented to her using the end toilet. Once you got to know Myrtle she wasn't that bad. Having a regular visitor cheered Myrtle up and she became more sociable. She knew that Hermione was only there temporarily, and that their friendship wouldn't last. The other castle ghosts noticed she wasn't moaning anymore, which encouraged them to include her in their activities.
The research into conditioner was going well, as was the ongoing meditation. Neville didn't need her anymore but Hermione had gathered a large clientele of girls, eager for instruction. There had been a few private lessons with one or two Slytherin boys (Crabbe and Goyle) and her mind still boggled at their initial contact with her. They had followed Draco's lead during the war by coming over to the side of the Light. Draco had decided that he was too intelligent to follow his father blindly, and had gone to Dumbledore who had promised to protect him.
Crabbe and Goyle had cornered her in the Library a few days ago, and it had been quite a scary moment for her. Two huge shadows had loomed over her, and she quickly grasped her wand up her sleeve. Four boat-like feet had shuffled nervously.
Flashback
"Wehearyou'regivinlessons" she thought it was Goyle, but couldn't be sure.
"Pardon?"
"We hear you're giving lessons." Definitely Goyle.
"Lessons?"
"You know. Like Neville." That was Crabbe, who looked furtively behind him.
Hermione looked at them in astonishment.
"What did you have in mind?"
"Dunno. But Neville has them all over him." Goyle went an unpleasant shade of purple.
"Has what all over him?" this was getting scarier and scarier.
"Girls." Now Crabbe was blushing, and it wasn't pretty. Hermione could feel the hysterical laughter rising, but swallowed it down. How on earth was she going to get out of this?
"Look, can I think this over? Meet me in the Astronomy tower..." she consulted a rather fat Filofax "The day after tomorrow, nine... no, better make that eight o'clock. OK?"
They both nodded in tandem. I hope they don't do everything together, she thought.
Hermione could see her life slowly spiralling out of control. Not only did she have an extremely heavy workload of homework, not to mention the animagi lessons with McGonegall, she now had to come up with something to make the Frankensteins of Slytherin attractive to girls.
They met her in the Astronomy tower two days later. It had quickly got round the school that this was now her exclusive territory. Filch had abandoned all hope of ever catching couples there again, and was now concentrating on the more remote corridors. Hermione still had to make sure Snape was not around, although she had lost points on three occasions when she'd lost track of time. Unfortunately, it had been with three different boys. If she weren't careful she'd be getting quite a reputation.
Professor McGonegall had discreetly questioned her during their study sessions, and it had been a relief to finally confess to her head of house. Once McGonegall knew about Hermiones "therapy" lessons, she would ensure there was no gossip about her.
Hermione had decided on dancing lessons for the terrible twosome. Lavender and Parvati had been roped in reluctantly as partners. Plus they could help with makeover tips. There were limits to Hermione's talents, after all.
It was hopeless. She was nearly in tears towards the end, and then a miracle happened. Draco appeared. Crabbe and Goyle both stood up straighter when they saw their "boss".
"Well, well, well. What have we here? A party - and I wasn't invited."
"Shove it, Draco. Can't you see we're busy?" Hermione snapped.
"I can see alright. It looks like you'll be busy for the next ten years if things don't improve. What's the problem?" he leant against the wall.
Hermione came over and dragged him to a corner.
"Look" she hissed, "Tweedledum and Tweedledee over there want girlfriends, and I'm trying to teach them some poise. Any suggestions?"
"Yes, actually. They need a demonstration."
"Demonstration?"
"Yes. Do you know how to waltz?"
"Yes."
"Good." And with a wave of his wand, music surrounded them. He took Hermione's hand and swept her into the centre of the room, twirling her round and round in a Viennese waltz.
After that, it was simple. Draco and Hermione would show them a step, and they would copy. They were actually quite light on their feet, even if they did look like Neanderthals. Lavender and Parvati admitted afterwards that they both felt quite fragile against the two giant boys, and would be happy to continue as their partners, as well as give them a makeover.
She scheduled three more sessions with them all, and left them to practice. Draco followed her down the stairs in silence.
"Thanks, Draco."
"No problem. I couldn't resist coming to find out what was going on. There have been rumours, Hermione."
She sighed. "I know. If you've got time, I'll tell you all about it in the Library tomorrow?"
"Sure, wouldn't miss it for the world." He grinned, and slipped away.
"This is getting to be a habit, Miss Granger. Thirty points."
"You're giving me points, Professor Snape?"
"That will be fifty points taken away, Miss Granger, for your cheek. Now get back to your common room before I make it a detention." Snape was barely controlling his fury by now. He'd been prowling this tower every night for weeks now, and more often than not he'd caught her sneaking down just before curfew.
What was she doing up there? A revolving door would have to be installed soon. His fury had absolutely nothing to do with the number of boys he'd caught her with. And if he continued to tell himself that, he may come to believe it.
"Yes, sir. I'd better be going." She peeked up at him through gold-tipped lashes and slid past him, just brushing close enough to get a lungful of his scent. Then she fled, heart pounding.
End Flashback
So here she was, in Myrtle's bathroom, ready to test her first batch. She ladled the scented mixtures into bottles. There were two cauldrons, one for shampoo, one for conditioner. The thick liquid slid through her fingers sensuously. There was a heady smell of light musk and herbs and her head lifted suddenly. No, it couldn't be? She'd subconsciously analysed Snape's scent and incorporated them into her new products. This was going to be torture for her! Not only was she constantly thinking about him but also she'd be surrounded by a feminine version of his smell. Myrtle came to investigate the dull clang that came from the end toilet and found Hermione banging her head against the shampoo cauldron.
"Not going too well?" she asked
"No, it's OK Myrtle. Just a headache."
"You won't make it better by doing that, then. Why don't you go and see Madam Pomfrey?" some ghosts just didn't get it, thought Hermione.
"I'll do that, thanks. I'll let you know how this works, Myrtle. You've been very kind to let me use your toilet."
If ghosts could go pink, Myrtle would have. As it was, she went a shade denser.
"Anytime, Hermione."
Cleaning everything up and shrinking the bottles, she exited the bathroom. She would miss this if it worked. It had been a haven of peace in the otherwise mad world of Hermione Granger. She was eternally grateful she had declined the position of Head Girl. Yes, it would have looked good on her curriculum vitae, but the impressive number of OWLS and NEWTS would more than make up for it.
No lessons were scheduled that evening, so she had time for a nice long soak in the bath before dinner.
While the bath ran she opened her diary to check her list. She could cross off Neville, Ron, and half of number nine. Ron and Susan were inseparable now. From the look on Ron's face all the time, it seemed he was getting the benefit of Susan's yoga technique. He must be doing something right, because Susan was walking around with the same goofy expression.
Broomstick lessons could wait until the better weather. Harry had agreed that to get over the fear of flying, gale force weather was probably not a good idea. It would be tight, as Quidditch season would be starting soon. They would have to either get up really early in the morning, or sneak out at night. Hermione would prefer the nighttime option. She didn't want anyone seeing her make a prat of herself.
She was also well on her way to becoming an Animagi. The meditation had been an excellent idea, as this focussed her energy. Apparently, the animal you became depended on the state of mind, and your inner animal emerged like a butterfly from a cocoon. Once you changed, you were that forever. McGonegall hadn't let her try to change yet, and Hermione was happy with that. She definitely didn't want to end up a mishmash of creatures, she was that confused.
Bath run, she sank below the surface, heaving a sigh of relief. The hot water soothed the tense muscles of her shoulders and she lay there for a while. She vaguely heard Lavender and Parvati coming back to their room to change, and so she sat up to wash her hair. The thick shampoo made a rich, fragrant lather, and Hermione's skin tingled as the scent enveloped her. It was a poor substitute for the real thing, but it would have to do. The conditioner was rinsed off under the shower and she wrung the excess moisture from her waist length hair. Drying herself, she closed her eyes as she muttered the spell on her hair. Then opened them. She stared, her eyes wide. Where had those ringlets come from? A glossy mass of curls fell like a waterfall down her back with not a sign of frizz. She shook her head and watched as they settled back into place.
She bent over and shook her head again, writhing like mad to make it as messy as possible, nearly falling over the toilet as she did so.
"Are you OK in there, Hermione?" Lavender called. Hermione stood up quickly and steadied herself on the wall.
"Uh.. fine, thanks. I'll be out in a minute." She was a bit breathless from her exertions. She looked in the mirror again and was amazed to see each curl in place. She gathered the sides up and turned this way and that, admiring the shine.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!"
"Err.. Hermione? Are you sure you're OK?" Lavender tapped hesitantly and fell into the bathroom as the door opened suddenly.
"Absolutely, fine, Lavender. Ready to go to dinner?"
TBC