A day ago my best friend died. A day ago, part of me died with him.
The dementors pass me by. They too, leach away at my wounded spirit, sucking the life from me. I'm innocent but they don't care. They'd kiss me if the Minister would let them. He won't. Not yet anyways.
Damn you, James. Damn you! Had to go and get yourself killed by Voldemort. Damn you too, Lily. Because of your death, no one is alive to prove that I wasn't the Secret Keeper, that I wasn't the traitor. Managed to save Harry, but not me.
It's unfair, I know. They didn't want to die. They didn't want to leave their son to be raised by Muggles, they didn't want to imprison their best friend in a dementor's lair.
But they did.
Stripped of my friends, stripped of my reputation, stripped of my pride, its as if my very soul has been flayed. My only escape is the Animagus form I learned so long ago, in that other lifetime. When I was me, Sirius Black, co-commander of the Hogwarts Marauders.
Now I'm Black, right hand man of Voldemort, betrayor of the Potters.
Even Harry, poor, innocent Harry, will grow up hating my name, despising me for who I am. Or rather, what I am not.
The world betrayed me, my soul betrayed me, my friends betrayed me. I'm not even human now, staring with wide eyes into the wall, as if I could pierce it with my eyes. Even now, the tears won't come, even now, the realization of what has happened hasn't really hit me. James? Dead? Ha, what a riot. He'll always be there, his smile flashing at me as we plan our next prank, his hair contrasting sharply against the crimson skin as he blushes at Lily, embarassed for one reason or another. He's out there now, laughing at little Harry's antics, kissing Lily.
Just like I'm not really here, not really imprisoned for life for a crime I didn't commit.
A day ago my best friend died. A day ago, part of me died with him.