Disclaimer: At this point, I don't even WANT credit anymore.
Notes: Please don't kill me!
Yes. I know, I know. I haven't updated in donkey years. It's not my fault! I've had homework and papers and projects and the shows have been sucking and my horoscope was bad and a butterfly beat its wing in Texas and-
Screw it. I'm not gonna make excuses. I'll try to update more.
As always, A/C fans should run for their lives, because if I find one of your filthy, perverted, self-righteous asses reading MY story-
Wow. I've gotta censor everything I write today, don't I?
Still PG-13. Enjoy!
Distribution: My story! You ask, you get.
Inheritance: Backstory By Myopic
"So Conner's in love." Wesley smiled and shook his head over the peach ceramic coffee mug that Fred had filled with peppermint tea. The teenager in question had just left for school, only giving the returning newlyweds an absent kiss before practically running out the front door.
"I've never seen him that eager to get to school before," Gunn noted with amusement. "Think we should kidnap this girl of his and stick her in the dentist's office? Then maybe we won't have to trick him into going tomorrow."
This brought a sudden curse from behind the front desk. Cordelia blew out a frustrated breath and picked up the telephone, dialing a number with a quick flash of lacquered nails.
"Dr. Sevit's office? I'm calling to confirm an appointment for a check up for Conner Donovan. C-O-N-N-E-R. D- No. 'D' as in Dentist."
Wesley, Gunn and Fred shook their heads in unanimous exasperation.
"I remember my first love," Fred sighed after a minute. "I was older, though. Seventeen. Kids do everything so early these days. Remember when Conner was ten and we took him to see Star Wars: Episode Nine? He had to explain that when the one man made fun of that thing it was really a comment on alcohol? I didn't pick that up at all. But his name was Jed and he was the most beautiful guy in my high school, in I thought the world. And I would do his math homework for him every day at lunch and give it to him in the back hallway so no one would see us together. He would smile at me and I would just-"
Gunn gave her a look as she trailed off. "Jed, huh? Sounds like a total tool to me."
Fred looked scandalized. "He was very nice to me!"
Wesley looked uncomfortably from one to the other.
".and thank you so much, have a great day!" Cordelia finished with a bright artificial smile as she hung up the phone. She opened up a drawer and pulled out a bright pink Post-it pad, writing the time of the appointment in large Sharpie letters. Sticking the note on the coffee maker, she called over her shoulder. "Somebody remind me to remind him, okay!"
"Uh, Oh course, Cordelia," Wesley replied loudly, taking the opportunity to disappear into his office. "I'll just get back to that research. Send Mr. Giles in when he comes by."
"All right." Cordelia dug into a pile of memos to determine which cases they would have to stall so they could aid in the search for the new Slayer. "I don't know HOW we're going to find her. I mean, if Buffy's been reincarnated, then she'll look like someone else. How will we know it's her? She could be a brunette, or a red head, or fat." Cordelia's face took on a dreamlike quality. "She could have like a really bad acne problem, or a flat chest, or a unibrow.."
Gunn smiled. "I take it you're not much of a fan of the late great Miss Summers?"
Cordelia snorted. "Hardly."
"But I thought you two were friends. Didn't you go to high school together?" Fred asked confusedly.
"Wow, did you two get a sketchy history on this one. How much about Buffy do you NOT know?"
"We hardly know anything, Cordelia. How would we?" Gunn said defensively. "We never met the girl and she's not exactly the most common topic of conversation around here. First time I heard her name was when we found out she was dead and then all the information we got was that she was a Slayer and Angel's ex, who he couldn't be with and never got over and that you went to high school with her."
"Well, that's the basics, but it doesn't say much. How did I not give you the buzz on that whole soap opera years ago? That's what you get for living the life of a hero. You're so busy you lose your gossip skills." She settled back more comfortably in her desk chair. "Sit down. This is a long story and I promise you'll be as thoroughly sick of it as everyone else remotely involved before it's done."
Fred and Gunn looked at each other, shrugged, and pulled up chairs.
"It all began. um. When did it begin? The first thing I had to do with it was when I met Buffy, I guess. She was the new girl at our school and I totally extended the hand of friendship, only to be rudely rebuffed for absolutely no reason." Her brown eyes narrowed at the memory. "Not that I know where SHE got off, the only reason she moved to Sunnydale at all was because she was expelled from her old high school for pyromania."
"Pyromania?" Fred echoed, shocked. This was clearly not the beginning she had been expecting for a love story so powerful that the people involved had never perceived the need to relate the details to their new friends, as if it was so sacred and powerful that it needed no introduction.
"Remember how Conner told us that a student burned down his school's gym twenty years ago? That was Buffy. Of course, she did it to kill a couple dozen vampires, including the really nasty one that killed her first Watcher," she added grudgingly. "But how was the Sunnydale High student body supposed to know that?
"Anyway, she came to our school and started hanging out with the two biggest losers in town: Xander Harris." She spat the name. "And Willow Rosenberg. I guess she went about her Slaying all this time, she spent all her time in the library with Giles. He was the school librarian. I was the most popular girl in school, though. I didn't associate with them more than I had to. At the time all I knew was that whenever anything freaky happened, Buffy was around somewhere. She met Angel really soon after she moved to Sunnydale. I never got the exact story of where or how, but I know that he would show up and help her when she needed it, that he hung around the Bronze a lot - the Bronze was like the only decent club in town - oh, and he staked Darla for trying to kill her."
"HE killed Darla the first time?" Fred interrupted.
"Yes, that's what I said," Cordelia responded, testily. "Stop interrupting.
"Where was I? Oh, right. Helped her, staked Darla, and they were in love, obviously. Again, I really didn't get involved until the end of that school year, when Buffy died and averted the apocalypse the first time. Yes," she said before Fred could open her mouth. "The first time.
"I think her tally was two deaths, a dozen apocalypses and way more vampires and demons than I even want to think about by the time she went down for good. Or what we thought was good. Well, not GOOD good, but final. Whatever. It doesn't matter. This guy called the Master, who was Angel's grandsire, was trapped in the Hellmouth, which I KNOW someone has to have explained to you sometime." She waited for their nods and continued. "And he decided to make a break for it on the night of a school dance. There were vampires everywhere and at some point the Master drank Buffy's blood and killed her, but Angel and Xander found her and Xander gave her CPR, which I'll bet was SUCH a hardship for him, what with the HUGE crush he had on her and everything, the stupid, lying loser."
Gunn gave Fred a look.
"Buffy came to and killed the master in time to dance with Angel, and that was the end of it for a while. She left town for the summer, came back and the two of them picked things up where they left off pretty much. La de da, things went on. Vampires were killed, lives were saved. Then Buffy had a birthday. And Angel gave her the gift that gives back."
The others stared blankly at her.
"They had sex." Cordelia elaborated, rolling her eyes. It was not an image she wanted in her head.
Understanding dawned, followed quickly by more confusion. "But what about his curse?" Fred asked.
"How do you think we found out about it? That was the first time we met Angelus." Her eyes darkened at the memory. "It was bad. You don't know HOW bad. He stalked Buffy and terrorized her for months and months. He threatened her friends and family - which for some reason included me - and tormented her and. and finally he killed someone. A teacher. Giles' girlfriend. Her name was Ms. Calendar. She was from the gypsies that cursed Angel the first time, and she was getting ready to do it again when Angelus killed her. It was. pretty awful. After that Angelus turned his attention to destroying the world. He almost did it, too. Got closer than probably anyone but the god who Buffy fought. The portal to hell was actually open when Willow re-cursed him - Oh! Willow's a witch - and Buffy stabbed him and sent him through it. He went to a hell dimension for the earth equivalent of three hundred years." Cordelia's voice stayed matter of fact, but her eyes flashed with compassion. Fred's face had turned gray, and even Gunn looked a bit unnerved. Three hundred years was a long time, even for a vampire.
"How old was she, again?" Thus time it was Gunn who asked the question.
"Seventeen." Cordelia paused.
"She had a hard time dealing with it, and she didn't exactly take the smartest road to recovery. She ran away from home for a few months. No word to her friends or Giles or even her mom. We had to cover graveyard patrol till she came back. Ruined my social life for the summer. But she didn't think about THAT, did she? Nope, it's always me me me with Buffy. Because she's the CHOSEN one.
"Finally she decided to come home, started dating some other random guy, until somehow Angel came back. He was totally crazy from being in hell, but eventually he recovered and he and Buffy decided to be 'just friends.'" She snorted. "That didn't work out. They ended up avoiding each other, dating again, then he broke up with her again right before prom. He decided he wanted her to have a better life, he didn't deserve her, blah blah. Then he got shot with a poison arrow by Faith, who was basically Buffy's evil twin and is currently enjoying life in a maximum security correctional facility, courtesy of the California taxpayers. The only cure for the poison was Slayer's blood, so he drank Buffy's and put her in the hospital. She was all right in time to prevent the next apocalypse at Graduation the next day, but that was why he moved to L.A. He figured the more distance he put between them the better. It's a good philosophy. I've always been a firm believer in staying as far away from Buffy Summers as I possibly can. That was pretty much it, I suppose. Except for a few nasty cameos where she rubbed salt into his broken heart. She started going out with college boys, and he never stopped loving her. They both fought evil for a few more years, then she died. The End."
"Not the end," said Rupert Giles throatily, moving from his place in the doorway. "I've brought some donuts. We always seemed to need them when researching in Sunnydale." He laid a large box on the reception desk and passed into Wesley's office, leaving silence behind him.
"Summer! Over here!" Dale half stood at her cafeteria table, waving her new friend over.
The blonde smiled warmly and headed over, taking the empty space between Dale and Peter on the formica bench. It was good to have friends, she thought. Especially ones who live around the corner from a deli, she added as Peter produced a second neatly wrapped sandwich from his brown paper deli bag, waving away the money she proffered.
"Hey! You never bring ME a lunch, Peter!" Conner exclaimed, plopping down on the empty bench across the table. "Why does Summer get one?"
"Maybe because Summer doesn't call me Peter after I've asked her not to one million times Conner," suggested Pete, taking a bite from his sandwich. "So you've regained your verbal skills since yesterday?"
Conner turned pink. "I don't know what you're talking about," he mumbled, shooting a glance at Summer.
"So you forgot your lunch AGAIN?" Dale scolded, changing the subject. "Didn't Cordelia go shopping yesterday?"
"Yeah, I'm not hungry anyway," he said distractedly, noticing that Summer took really small bites, even for a girl.
"You have to eat SOMETHING," Dale insisted, sliding her tray forward. "Here, I don't like the fries anyway."
"I said I'm not hungry," he insisted absently, pushing the tray back.
"Well I said you should eat something," she replied testily, sending the tray back in front him.
"I said no thanks!" he protested, annoyed, as he slid the tray back across the table.
"I don't care!" spat Dale, through gritted teeth, sending the edge of the heavy plastic tray into his stomach. "You need to eat something or you'll get sick."
Conner glared at her, and opened his mouth to reply, but he was beat to it by Pete.
"You three've got last period free, and I've got P.E. We'll blow out of here and hit McJay's. That's less than two hours from now, I'm sure Conner won't die of malnourishment before then," he dictated, sensibly.
Conner and Dale acquiesced, but Summer looked a little hesitant. "McJay's?" she asked. "Is that a restaurant?"
"It's more then a restaurant, it's a subculture," Peter explained. "You'll love it."
Notes: Okay, no villain in this part, but it just wouldn't fit. Not the most entertaining chapter, but it serves a purpose. I promise it won't be nearly as long between updates next time. I'm sorry it took that long for this but on the upside, you only have make the transition from high school to college once, right? Love and B/A goodness! Send Feedback!
Notes: Please don't kill me!
Yes. I know, I know. I haven't updated in donkey years. It's not my fault! I've had homework and papers and projects and the shows have been sucking and my horoscope was bad and a butterfly beat its wing in Texas and-
Screw it. I'm not gonna make excuses. I'll try to update more.
As always, A/C fans should run for their lives, because if I find one of your filthy, perverted, self-righteous asses reading MY story-
Wow. I've gotta censor everything I write today, don't I?
Still PG-13. Enjoy!
Distribution: My story! You ask, you get.
Inheritance: Backstory By Myopic
"So Conner's in love." Wesley smiled and shook his head over the peach ceramic coffee mug that Fred had filled with peppermint tea. The teenager in question had just left for school, only giving the returning newlyweds an absent kiss before practically running out the front door.
"I've never seen him that eager to get to school before," Gunn noted with amusement. "Think we should kidnap this girl of his and stick her in the dentist's office? Then maybe we won't have to trick him into going tomorrow."
This brought a sudden curse from behind the front desk. Cordelia blew out a frustrated breath and picked up the telephone, dialing a number with a quick flash of lacquered nails.
"Dr. Sevit's office? I'm calling to confirm an appointment for a check up for Conner Donovan. C-O-N-N-E-R. D- No. 'D' as in Dentist."
Wesley, Gunn and Fred shook their heads in unanimous exasperation.
"I remember my first love," Fred sighed after a minute. "I was older, though. Seventeen. Kids do everything so early these days. Remember when Conner was ten and we took him to see Star Wars: Episode Nine? He had to explain that when the one man made fun of that thing it was really a comment on alcohol? I didn't pick that up at all. But his name was Jed and he was the most beautiful guy in my high school, in I thought the world. And I would do his math homework for him every day at lunch and give it to him in the back hallway so no one would see us together. He would smile at me and I would just-"
Gunn gave her a look as she trailed off. "Jed, huh? Sounds like a total tool to me."
Fred looked scandalized. "He was very nice to me!"
Wesley looked uncomfortably from one to the other.
".and thank you so much, have a great day!" Cordelia finished with a bright artificial smile as she hung up the phone. She opened up a drawer and pulled out a bright pink Post-it pad, writing the time of the appointment in large Sharpie letters. Sticking the note on the coffee maker, she called over her shoulder. "Somebody remind me to remind him, okay!"
"Uh, Oh course, Cordelia," Wesley replied loudly, taking the opportunity to disappear into his office. "I'll just get back to that research. Send Mr. Giles in when he comes by."
"All right." Cordelia dug into a pile of memos to determine which cases they would have to stall so they could aid in the search for the new Slayer. "I don't know HOW we're going to find her. I mean, if Buffy's been reincarnated, then she'll look like someone else. How will we know it's her? She could be a brunette, or a red head, or fat." Cordelia's face took on a dreamlike quality. "She could have like a really bad acne problem, or a flat chest, or a unibrow.."
Gunn smiled. "I take it you're not much of a fan of the late great Miss Summers?"
Cordelia snorted. "Hardly."
"But I thought you two were friends. Didn't you go to high school together?" Fred asked confusedly.
"Wow, did you two get a sketchy history on this one. How much about Buffy do you NOT know?"
"We hardly know anything, Cordelia. How would we?" Gunn said defensively. "We never met the girl and she's not exactly the most common topic of conversation around here. First time I heard her name was when we found out she was dead and then all the information we got was that she was a Slayer and Angel's ex, who he couldn't be with and never got over and that you went to high school with her."
"Well, that's the basics, but it doesn't say much. How did I not give you the buzz on that whole soap opera years ago? That's what you get for living the life of a hero. You're so busy you lose your gossip skills." She settled back more comfortably in her desk chair. "Sit down. This is a long story and I promise you'll be as thoroughly sick of it as everyone else remotely involved before it's done."
Fred and Gunn looked at each other, shrugged, and pulled up chairs.
"It all began. um. When did it begin? The first thing I had to do with it was when I met Buffy, I guess. She was the new girl at our school and I totally extended the hand of friendship, only to be rudely rebuffed for absolutely no reason." Her brown eyes narrowed at the memory. "Not that I know where SHE got off, the only reason she moved to Sunnydale at all was because she was expelled from her old high school for pyromania."
"Pyromania?" Fred echoed, shocked. This was clearly not the beginning she had been expecting for a love story so powerful that the people involved had never perceived the need to relate the details to their new friends, as if it was so sacred and powerful that it needed no introduction.
"Remember how Conner told us that a student burned down his school's gym twenty years ago? That was Buffy. Of course, she did it to kill a couple dozen vampires, including the really nasty one that killed her first Watcher," she added grudgingly. "But how was the Sunnydale High student body supposed to know that?
"Anyway, she came to our school and started hanging out with the two biggest losers in town: Xander Harris." She spat the name. "And Willow Rosenberg. I guess she went about her Slaying all this time, she spent all her time in the library with Giles. He was the school librarian. I was the most popular girl in school, though. I didn't associate with them more than I had to. At the time all I knew was that whenever anything freaky happened, Buffy was around somewhere. She met Angel really soon after she moved to Sunnydale. I never got the exact story of where or how, but I know that he would show up and help her when she needed it, that he hung around the Bronze a lot - the Bronze was like the only decent club in town - oh, and he staked Darla for trying to kill her."
"HE killed Darla the first time?" Fred interrupted.
"Yes, that's what I said," Cordelia responded, testily. "Stop interrupting.
"Where was I? Oh, right. Helped her, staked Darla, and they were in love, obviously. Again, I really didn't get involved until the end of that school year, when Buffy died and averted the apocalypse the first time. Yes," she said before Fred could open her mouth. "The first time.
"I think her tally was two deaths, a dozen apocalypses and way more vampires and demons than I even want to think about by the time she went down for good. Or what we thought was good. Well, not GOOD good, but final. Whatever. It doesn't matter. This guy called the Master, who was Angel's grandsire, was trapped in the Hellmouth, which I KNOW someone has to have explained to you sometime." She waited for their nods and continued. "And he decided to make a break for it on the night of a school dance. There were vampires everywhere and at some point the Master drank Buffy's blood and killed her, but Angel and Xander found her and Xander gave her CPR, which I'll bet was SUCH a hardship for him, what with the HUGE crush he had on her and everything, the stupid, lying loser."
Gunn gave Fred a look.
"Buffy came to and killed the master in time to dance with Angel, and that was the end of it for a while. She left town for the summer, came back and the two of them picked things up where they left off pretty much. La de da, things went on. Vampires were killed, lives were saved. Then Buffy had a birthday. And Angel gave her the gift that gives back."
The others stared blankly at her.
"They had sex." Cordelia elaborated, rolling her eyes. It was not an image she wanted in her head.
Understanding dawned, followed quickly by more confusion. "But what about his curse?" Fred asked.
"How do you think we found out about it? That was the first time we met Angelus." Her eyes darkened at the memory. "It was bad. You don't know HOW bad. He stalked Buffy and terrorized her for months and months. He threatened her friends and family - which for some reason included me - and tormented her and. and finally he killed someone. A teacher. Giles' girlfriend. Her name was Ms. Calendar. She was from the gypsies that cursed Angel the first time, and she was getting ready to do it again when Angelus killed her. It was. pretty awful. After that Angelus turned his attention to destroying the world. He almost did it, too. Got closer than probably anyone but the god who Buffy fought. The portal to hell was actually open when Willow re-cursed him - Oh! Willow's a witch - and Buffy stabbed him and sent him through it. He went to a hell dimension for the earth equivalent of three hundred years." Cordelia's voice stayed matter of fact, but her eyes flashed with compassion. Fred's face had turned gray, and even Gunn looked a bit unnerved. Three hundred years was a long time, even for a vampire.
"How old was she, again?" Thus time it was Gunn who asked the question.
"Seventeen." Cordelia paused.
"She had a hard time dealing with it, and she didn't exactly take the smartest road to recovery. She ran away from home for a few months. No word to her friends or Giles or even her mom. We had to cover graveyard patrol till she came back. Ruined my social life for the summer. But she didn't think about THAT, did she? Nope, it's always me me me with Buffy. Because she's the CHOSEN one.
"Finally she decided to come home, started dating some other random guy, until somehow Angel came back. He was totally crazy from being in hell, but eventually he recovered and he and Buffy decided to be 'just friends.'" She snorted. "That didn't work out. They ended up avoiding each other, dating again, then he broke up with her again right before prom. He decided he wanted her to have a better life, he didn't deserve her, blah blah. Then he got shot with a poison arrow by Faith, who was basically Buffy's evil twin and is currently enjoying life in a maximum security correctional facility, courtesy of the California taxpayers. The only cure for the poison was Slayer's blood, so he drank Buffy's and put her in the hospital. She was all right in time to prevent the next apocalypse at Graduation the next day, but that was why he moved to L.A. He figured the more distance he put between them the better. It's a good philosophy. I've always been a firm believer in staying as far away from Buffy Summers as I possibly can. That was pretty much it, I suppose. Except for a few nasty cameos where she rubbed salt into his broken heart. She started going out with college boys, and he never stopped loving her. They both fought evil for a few more years, then she died. The End."
"Not the end," said Rupert Giles throatily, moving from his place in the doorway. "I've brought some donuts. We always seemed to need them when researching in Sunnydale." He laid a large box on the reception desk and passed into Wesley's office, leaving silence behind him.
"Summer! Over here!" Dale half stood at her cafeteria table, waving her new friend over.
The blonde smiled warmly and headed over, taking the empty space between Dale and Peter on the formica bench. It was good to have friends, she thought. Especially ones who live around the corner from a deli, she added as Peter produced a second neatly wrapped sandwich from his brown paper deli bag, waving away the money she proffered.
"Hey! You never bring ME a lunch, Peter!" Conner exclaimed, plopping down on the empty bench across the table. "Why does Summer get one?"
"Maybe because Summer doesn't call me Peter after I've asked her not to one million times Conner," suggested Pete, taking a bite from his sandwich. "So you've regained your verbal skills since yesterday?"
Conner turned pink. "I don't know what you're talking about," he mumbled, shooting a glance at Summer.
"So you forgot your lunch AGAIN?" Dale scolded, changing the subject. "Didn't Cordelia go shopping yesterday?"
"Yeah, I'm not hungry anyway," he said distractedly, noticing that Summer took really small bites, even for a girl.
"You have to eat SOMETHING," Dale insisted, sliding her tray forward. "Here, I don't like the fries anyway."
"I said I'm not hungry," he insisted absently, pushing the tray back.
"Well I said you should eat something," she replied testily, sending the tray back in front him.
"I said no thanks!" he protested, annoyed, as he slid the tray back across the table.
"I don't care!" spat Dale, through gritted teeth, sending the edge of the heavy plastic tray into his stomach. "You need to eat something or you'll get sick."
Conner glared at her, and opened his mouth to reply, but he was beat to it by Pete.
"You three've got last period free, and I've got P.E. We'll blow out of here and hit McJay's. That's less than two hours from now, I'm sure Conner won't die of malnourishment before then," he dictated, sensibly.
Conner and Dale acquiesced, but Summer looked a little hesitant. "McJay's?" she asked. "Is that a restaurant?"
"It's more then a restaurant, it's a subculture," Peter explained. "You'll love it."
Notes: Okay, no villain in this part, but it just wouldn't fit. Not the most entertaining chapter, but it serves a purpose. I promise it won't be nearly as long between updates next time. I'm sorry it took that long for this but on the upside, you only have make the transition from high school to college once, right? Love and B/A goodness! Send Feedback!