Chapter Two: Chimpy

"YU-GI-OH!" shouted the man that always shouts it at the beginning of the show. A scene of Yugi standing with two shadows behind him rolled across the screen. One shadow was Yugi's own, and the other was like Zoe.

"HEY!" Zoe's shadow interrupted, as Zoe walked out. "How come he gets to stand?!"

"Because I'm Yugi." Yugi answered. He then put his hands together and started to blink rapidly for a few seconds.

"But I'm more beautifuler!" Zoe protested.

"Well… MY HAIR'S BIGGER!"

"Which I why I should be standing."

"Stop it!" yelled Tea, breaking up the fight. She was wearing a headset that had one of those attachments that also let her talk into it "We wont do the intro today!"

"FINE!" Yugi and Zoe screamed together.

"Welcome to another episode of Yu-Gee-Oh." Mai said, with her breasts pressed up against the camera.

"MAI! STOP THAT! And besides, it's Yu-Gi-Oh." Tea barked furiously, while waving her pencil threateningly at Mai.

"Shut up, Ms. Flat. You're just jealous and you know it…" Mai said, before passing out on the camera, causing it to fall and break. A small boy was revealed to be inside it.

"WOOT! LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE CAMERA!" The boy yelled. The audience stared.

"No, you bad, bad boy…" Phoinex muttered as he walked down the steps toward the stranger. "I control them, not you. They are my applauding slaves of doom. OFF WITH YOU!"

The boy squeaked and ran to hide behind Yugi, who ooed at it. "Who are you?" he asked.

"Chikkiy…."

"What was that?" Yugi asked again. Then the Millennium Puzzle suddenly began to glow and Zoe was released with her matching clothes. She took the puzzle off Yugi's head and hit him hard with it.

"YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! TEA! SHOW HIM HOW IT'S DONE!" Tea walked over and took in a deep breath.

"TELL ME YOUR NAME IN A CLEAR VOICE NOW BEFORE I SICK MY SECRET WEAPON ON YOU!" The boy just starred with wide eyes at her as he sat on the floor, before jumping up slightly and pulling at Tea's hair, ripping out a large chunk with his weight as he fell back down. Tea gasped.

"YOU LITTLE BRAT!" she scolded. "I'M GONNA…. GRRR!" Tea then took one last look at the laughing audience before running out of the room.

"Ooo…. I like this one." Zoe said, completely approving of the persons actions. "Tell me your name."

"Chimpy."

"You don't look like a chimp…"

"You'll see." he said mysteriously, before crawling away and falling into a hole that opened seemingly just for him and then closed again.

"Right… Well, LET'S HEAR IT-" Zoe suddenly stopped as she took a glance at Phoinex. He wasn't growling or anything, and it was obvious what Zoe was going to say, so she just coughed and continued. "FOR CHIMPY!" Amazingly, the audience did obey.

Tea suddenly came back wearing a large clowns hat that read "I Have Tissues". She wad pushing in Kaiba with a determined look on her face.

"WHERE'S CAMERA BOY?!"

"In a hole… somewhere…" Yugi replied, while he painted his nails firecracker red.

"YUGI MOOTO?!" Kaiba roared. "So we meet again… I CHALLENGE YOU TO A MOKUBA LICKING CONTEST!" Yugi's hand suddenly jerked aside and caused him to stain hid hand with the nail polish form surprise. He calmly put it away and stood proudly.

"Kaiba. I gladly accept your offer to kiss Mokuba."

"Kissing? I SAID LICKING!"

"Oh…Well then, that changes everything. Yami, could you take this one?"

"Nope." Zoe replied dully.

"Argh… fine. I'll do it." Yugi agreed, with a hint that he really did want to do it in the first place in his voice. He then snapped his fingers and said, "Peggy, please bring in Mokubert."

"Who?" Pegasus asked as he crawled out from behind Zoe.

"Hey… I didn't know it was there." Zoe said to herself.

"Mokuba. Mokubert is his real name." Yugi said, ignoring Zoe.

"HEY! I didn't know that!" Kaiba stated.

"Ya, well, me neither. I just do."

"Oh. OK!" Pegasus yelled enthusiastically before running away and coming back with Mokuba in his princess outfit on his back. He put the boy down in between Yugi and Kaiba. "Get set…. GO!"

Kaiba and Yugi began to lick Mokuba quickly. Mokuba had an odd expression as if he were being massaged, and his tongue was sticking out. "Aaaannnddd….. STOP!" Pegasus yelled. "And the winner is… MOKUBA!" In all his open mouthedness, Mokuba had begun to drool over himself.

"Awww…" Yugi muttered. Tea suddenly began to look at Mokuba thoughtfully.

"Hey, Mokuba." she began, as she took out a picture of Britney Spears. "How come you don't look like this?" Mokuba began to cry. He was tired of being compared to damned Britney Spears.

"She's so pretty, that just ain' me…" He muttered before running off stage with his face in his hands.

"MOKUBERT! WAIT!" Pegasus pleaded, before chasing after Mokuba.

"HAHA! MOKUBA'S UGLY!" yelled Chimpy. He had somehow gotten back into the audience.

"YAH! Chimpy's back!" Zoe cheered. She hit Yugi on the back merrily and made him fall over. "Chimpy, why don' you come on down?" Chimpy stood up from his seat and jumped down onto Yugi.

"HI!"

At that moment, Joey walked on stage and up to Zoe and Chimpy.

"Ooo… touch." Chimpy said, before reaching up to touch Joey's hair.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR!" Selena raared, so loudly that Chimpy literally bounced off the ground. "You… touched… Joey's… hair… you shall feel the wrath of Cheese Monkey!" She took out a slice of cheese and then a glowy transformation began.

"Ooo… glowy…. Must… touch…" Joey said as he walked up to Selena and touched her.

"AHH! NOT THERE!" she screamed, before running out and then coming back as Cheese Monkey.

"Monkey, Cheese?" Zoe asked.

"PRESENT!"

"Good for you Ms. Monkey."

"Yes. Now back to Chimpy…"

"EH! WRONG! IT'S TIME TO DUEL! Now who should we duel today… HEY! YOU! YOU IN THE AUDIENCE! GET DOWN HERE!"

"My ass is cold…" Yugi murmured, not paying attention to what was going on. Zoe pushed a button and a dueling arena appeared. The audience person got onto his dueling thingie and Zoe and Yugi got onto there's.

"Hey… there's a new card in out deck…" Zoe 'observed'.

"TOO BAD!" shouted a voice from behind Yugi. Suddenly, Yugi's underwear was over his head.

"AHH! WEDGIE!"

"YES! A WEDGIE! Which means I now take over the show! BWAHAHA!" Bakura exclaimed. He was the one who had committed the wedgie-doing crime.

"Not so fast, BAKARA!" Zoe yelled. She undid the wedgie and saved the show in less then a second. "And now I play Chimpanzee, along with Mystic Pizza!" Chimpy disappeared from where he as and appeared on the arena with a large number of attack points. "CHIMPANZEE! Attack Bakara!"

Chimpy obeyed and began to beat up Bakura. "NOW GIVE IT A WEDGIE!" Chimpanzee turned Bakura around and gave him the wedgie Zoe asked for.

"I see London, I see Mokubert, I see Bakurie's underpants!" Pegasus yelled from above. He was holding Mokuba oddly close to him, and Mokuba was struggling to break free.

"You'll all see… I'LL TAKE OVER IN SOME CHAPTER!" Bakura said, before running off the set and tripping over Mai.

"That was good, Chimpy… very good. I HERBY MAKE YOU A MEMBER OF THE YU-GEE-OH SET!" Zoe said happily, as she gave him a badge.

"It's Yu-Gi-Oh." Tea corrected annoyingly.

"SHUT UP, DRINK!" Yugi scolded.

"I am NOT a drink."

"You should be happy. It's better then having a spike for hair." Yugi pointed at Tristen. "So sad…"

"HEY! My hair is not a spike! It's just… it's just… IT'S THE WIND COMING FROM JOEY'S FARTS THAT STICKS IT LIKE THAT!" Tristen explained hurriedly.

"Me?" Joey asked. He was bent down with a look of relief on his face. His but was facing the audience, which had been blown away through the wall.

"Wooo… Le's hear it for… the… wall…" Phoinex said in pain before passing out. Chimpy was soon to follow and passed out.

"Yes, you, Joey." Tristen said before he passed out too.

"Must… end… show…" Zoe encouraged herself. Yugi passed out beside her gently then. "Must… focous… Goodbye…. And thanks for watching…" She suddenly fell on her knees and then onto the floor before muttering her last words before she fully passed out, "Yu…Gee… Oh."

"It's Yu…." Tea started but didn't finish since she suddenly passed out herself. Up in the ceiling Mokuba had passed out and was in Pegasus's arms.

"Why is everyone asleep?" he asked. "I don't know what's the problem… And what's that delightful smell?" He began to sniff around and suddenly the camera itself blew up from the smell. "HEY! Now I'm not on TV…. Oh well." He went on as he began to lock the smell in jars for his own personal uses.

"HEY! If you want that you gotta pay!" Joey demanded.

"Uh-oh… Gotta make a break for it!" Pegasus gathered together the jars he had gotten and began to run with them in Mokuba.