Chapter Three: Just Another Eppy

Pegasus gasped as he walked up to the food table at the studio.

"Where is my hourly wine?" he demanded angrily.

"It go down the hole." Chimpy answered with a grin.

"But I need my wine…"

"For what?" asked Yugi as he began to pick up a donut. Unfortunately, the food was suddenly sucked off the table and flew across the room to Joey's mouth. Including the plates.

"Mmm…. Food." he said to himself merrily.

"NOO! Now what am I to eat?" Yugi asked desperately. "Hmmm… I know." He took out his deck and began eating the cards one by one. Suddenly, his Millennium Puzzle began to glow and Zoe was released.

"WHAT?! What happened?!" she bursted. "I sensed a disturbance…." she gasped suddenly seeing what Yugi was doing. "YUGI!!!"

"PRESENT!" Yugi replied, with a mouth full of cards.

"What is that in your mouth Zoe sees?"

"Food."

"Is it?"

"Uhhh…. Yes."

"Is it?"

"No…"

"Exacterly."

"But it's full of protein!"

"It's full of monsters."

"AHHHHHHH! AM I GONNA TURN INTO A MONSTER NOW?!"

"He already is a monster…" Yami Yugi whispered to Tea. She giggled.

"Not if you spit it out right now!" Zoe yelled.

"Yes, Yami, ma'am…" said Yugi. He walked up to the table and spit up the chewed cards. Joey then walked up and ate it.

"JOEY! BAD!"

"What was that?" Selena asked, as she floated down with an umbrella. Her feet made a soft tap! as she landed.

"Umm… nothing!" Zoe lied.

"I heard something about Joey… my Joey sense told me so."

"I just said that he's… that he's…."

"She said he was ba-" Yugi began, but was cut off as Zoe hit him in the face with a frying pan.

"That he's RAD! Ya, that's it, rad."

"Oh, of course… HOLD ON! ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL HIM?!"

"No, of course not!"

"Oh, so now you're too good for him?!"

"Hmm… possibly."

"Good then. That means I get to keep him." she said, before rapping her arms around Joey and nearly causing him to spit out the food. While all the attention was on them, a mysterious person came in and fell on Zoe.

"AHHH! MOKUBERT!"

"Sherbet?" Yugi reacted.

"Can I eat him?" Joey asked. (A/n: The sherbert thing was Zoe's idea, kids. THANKS ZOE!)

"NO!" Pegasus scolded. "Mokubert is my pet. HE SHAN'T BE EATEN!"

"He doesn't taste good anyway…" Yugi explained, recalling his licking contest with Kaiba.

"He tastes good to me!" Pegasus exclaimed, before grabbing Mokuba and dragging him into a closet. Odd looks followed.

"YU-GI-OH PEOPLE! ON STAGE NOW!" ordered Tea through the loud speakers. Everyone sadly obeyed. "CHIMPY! YOU'RE DOING THE INTRO!"

"YAY!" Chimpy yelled, as he ran up to the camera. "HELLO AND WELCOME TO CHIMPY TIME!"

"CHIMPY TIME?!" Zoe yelled. "IF ANYTHING THIS SHOULD BE ZOE TIME!" She took out her frying pan and whapped Chimpy with it, making him pass out. "ANYWAY, welcome to Yu-Gee-"

"It's Gi! Ok people?" Tea corrected.

"WHATEVER! So, just welcome to this show about us 'cause some people are too picky of pronunciations, hint, hint… Hey! Where's Yugi?" Yugi suddenly walked in wearing a jellyfish on his head. "WHAT IS THAT?!"

"Do you not pay attention, Yami? It is a jellyfish. A sea creature of the night."

"I KNEW THAT! But why is it there?!"

"I suspect it is sucking my brain…"

"What brain?"

"The one I have." There was suddenly a flash of light from the jellyfish. When the light vanished, a large pink brain was in it's place. (A/n: The brain jellyfish was Arthur's idea.)

"Ooo…. Cake. Can I eat it?" Joey asked.

"NO! It's a brain…." Selena informed.

"I AM NOW A GENIUS!"

"Hello, what's going on?" Pegasus asked as he walked in wearing fuzzy orange thongs on his head.

"Yugi became a genius, Peggy." Selena answered.

"Oh, well I'm a genius too." Pegasus replied as he pointed at the thongs on his head. "Here's the proof."

"LIAR!"

"You're just jealous I'm smarter."

"No I is not!"

"Psshhh… You don't spoke right."

"Be silent!" Yugi commanded. "By genius brain tells me it is now time to duel."

"Nah." replied Zoe. "I say we do something else that will be funner."

"But… MY BRAIN COMMANDS IT!"

"Well…." Zoe took out a bow and arrow. She readied it, and then fired an arrow at Yugi's brain, which popped like a balloon.

"WOOT! LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE ARROW!" cheered Phoinex. The audience obeyed, as you probably already guessed, unless your brain was also popped by an arrow wielding Yami.

"HEY! HIS BRAIN WAS FILLED WITH HOT AIR!" Selena exclaimed, as she pointed.

"Of course it was. I knew all along, after all. I'm the genius." said Peggy with his arms crossed.

"Ok… right… well…. COMMERCIAL BREAK!" yelled Zoe. "And we'll be right back. If you're lucky."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

"Tired of loosing at Sumo?" started the announcer man. "Being made fun of for your size? Well then, Sumo Cola is the drink for you! Guaranteed to increase your blubber 10 watt!" A large woman suddenly appeared on the screen holding a can of Sumo Cola.

"I used to only barley fit through the door. NOW I CAN BREAK THEM DOWN!" A man then appeared on the screen, who was just as large as the woman.

"Sumo Cola helpe-" Joey suddenly pushed the man aside.

"GIMME THAT, FATSO! JOEY IS THIRSTY!" He grabbed the can the man was holding and drank it in one gulp. He tossed it aside and then held his stomach. "I dun feel so good now…" His skin started to wobble and suddenly he became gigantic. His clothes ripped, all except for his boxers which expanded with him. He broke right through the roof and took up a space of 9 feet around. Chimpy and Zoe then walked over to the can Joey had thrown. Zoe picked it p and read aloud:

"Warning: Do not drink if you have a tendency to suck up food, or steal it from others with no thought. THIS MEANS YOU, JOEY."

"Uh-oh…" said Chimpy.

"JOEY! Uhh… GET RID OF YOUR EXCESS FAT THIS INSTANT!" Selena shouted.

"But I don't want to shrink. I CAN SQUISH YOU ALL!"

"NO!"

"Aww…." Joey sighed as he shuffled his feet and accidentally stepped on Tea, which no one noticed.

"Joey Sumo, I command you to shrink."

"NO!"

"JOEY! SUMO MAMA COMMANDS YOU TO SHRINK!" Zoe ordered.

"But…"

"NO BUTS! I'm the leader of the Sumoloution. NOW DO AS I SAY!"

"Yes, ma'am…" Joey said as he began to shrink. His boxers though didn't do the same and covered him.

"AHHH! JOEY! AS LEADER OF THE SUMOLOUTION I NOW COMMAND YOU TO STAY IN THERE UNTIL WE GET YOU CLOTHES!"

"Bakura tired. No evil can come…"

"Bakara, please be silent now. YOU ARE ABSOLETE I SAY!"

"I AM NOT! I SHALL RULE THIS SHOW SOMEDAY!"

"Will not. Not as long as I am Yami."

"Hmm… interesting…" Bakura said to himself before taking off.

"Right, well… PEGGY! Take Joey's clothes to… Joey."

"It'll be my pleasure!" Pegasus yelled before running into the tent sized underpants.

"ZOE! What if Joey becomes gay?!" Selena asked.

"He wont. He'll just… uhh… wont."

"How do you know?"

"I am leader of the Sumoloution. It comes with great powers you cannot understand."

"I am sorry for questioning your greatness… I feel so ashamed…"

"Be calm, young Sumo. I forgive you. Now end the show."

"YESSIR! Ok, so here goes… THAT'S THE END OF THE SHOW! NOW JOIN US NEXT TIME UNLESS YOU WANT JOEY WHICH IS THE SAME AS SIGINING UP FOR A BLACK EYE!" she began to wave as she ran into Joeys boxers. "AHHH! PEGGY!"

"WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?!" Zoe asked.

"Stop the madness!"

"AHH!" Zoe said as she began to ran in circles. The background then suddenly somehow caught fire.

"AHH! YAMI?! I'M LOST!" Yugi yelled before running into the camera. The screen suddenly changed as the signal was lost and black and white lines appeared. Mokuba then walked out and looked around.

"Ooo… It is time to use the sacred beep. Beeeeeeeepppppp…. This is not a test of the emergency system thingy. This is the real thingy. Please change the channel and save us from embarrassment. Thank you. This has been a message from Mokuba. Beeeeepppp…"