Chapter 8: Birthday Confusion And The Truth Behind the Mysterious Hair Gel!

Phoinex was leaning on the kitchen table at his house. He was watching a news report on TV about some sort of maniac that had escaped a correctional facility in Northern France. He shook his head and thought about how afraid all those little French people must have been. They mentioned the maniac had the potential to murder.

The off button on the remote clicked as he pressed it, and began to make his way towards the door. As he stepped out he looked around at the sunshine and frowned. It was oddly sickening to him. Then he locked the door behind him and turned into a bat, and began to fly toward the WB Studios. Down below, he saw the bouncing buildings and characters running in all sorts of directions. He landed in front of the Yu-Gi-Oh studio.

Inside the studio, it was completely dark. The cast was hiding wherever they could, giggling stupidly as Phoinex opened the door. He looked around at the seemingly empty room, and then flicked on the lights. Everyone popped out and yelled, "SURPRISE!"

"AHHH! YOU FREAKS! STOP-STALKING-MEEEE! I mean… Woot!" Phoinex replied.

"Happy Birthday, Finney!" Zoe said, approaching Phoinex with a gift. Holy crap, it's my birthday… I forgot to buy myself something!, Phoinex thought.

"Umm… Thanks! I'll a… be… back… IN A MINUTE! GET OFF MY CASE!" he turned back into a bat and flew off to the store. The cast sat down to wait, and half an hour later Phoinex came back with a large wrapped package.

"Now who's birthday is it again?" he asked.

"… Yours!" Selena answered.

"… No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes." The conversation you are reading right now is far too long for me to write. Phoinex and Selena kept saying the same thing to each other for a full hour, and that would take up too much space, so we are just going to zoom to where Myranda interrupts. Ok? No? Then deal with it.

"OK! If it ain' yo' birthday, I'll take that!" Myranda interrupted. She stood up from the crate she was sitting on and removed the package from Phoinex's hands.

"WAIT! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" Kaiba blurted.

"Really?" Yami asked.

"YES! I KNOW IT! I just remembered."

"No it's not!" Mokuba argued. He stood up to face his brother. "Your birthday's not today!"

"IT IS TOO! I'm the smart one, you must submit to my wisdom."

"But…"

"NO BUTS!"

"I'LL PROVE IT!" Mokuba raised his arm and a triumphant background of red and yellow stripes appeared behind him. He lowered his arm, and the background disappeared, then he ran out of the studio.

"NOW EVERYONE, SING THE SONG OF KAIBA! THE BIRTHDAY BOY!" demanded Kaiba. Everyone started to sing "Happy Birthday" to him. They played games which involved hitting each other, kicking each other, bouncing on one another, sliding across the floor and running into a back of chocolates, and floating on balloons, until Mokuba returned with something in his hands. He climbed onto a crate and raised it high.

Everyone gasped. As Mokuba opened it, everyone could clearly see it was a calendar of Peggy modeling off different types of thongs in places all over the world.

"WHY DON'T I HAVE ONE OF THOSE?!?!" Myranda shouted at Peggy.

"They were banned from the stores. No idea why." Peggy sadly answered. Mokuba flipped through the pages to August and raised it high again. One of the boxes was marked "Kaiba's Birthday" in big pink letters.

"This is my brothers calendar. This is his writing. This is not August. Today is not his birthday. Thank you." Mokuba said. He got off the crate and then handed the calendar to Myranda who started drooling on it.

"So who's birthday is it then?" Zoe asked. "I know it's somebody's…"

"Mine." Tristen said as he opened a can with his hair. He looked up at Zoe. "The little man inside my head says so."

"… GAYWAFFER!" Selena called out. "IT'S NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY! YOU HAVE NO BIRTHDAY YOU DON'T EXIST!!!"

"But… but…"

"Selena speaks the truth! TO THE CLOSET WITH YOU, TRISTA!" Yugi said.

"Tristen."

"It does not matter! YOU EXIST NOT!" Tristen sighed and then locked himself in the closet.

"SO WHO'S BIRTHDAY IS IT?!?!" Zoe asked angrily,

"I dunno, NOR DO I CARE! I just need to fix my hair!" Yugi said before leaving to the make-up room.

"Hey… ME TOO!" Joey followed him in. Zoe looked at the two boys suspiciously, and decided to follow them when she heard screams. When she walked into the room, she say Yugi with Joey's hair style, and Joey with Yugi's hair style.

"GASP! YUUUUGGGIIIII!" she screamed in horror.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Yugi screamed as he saw himself in the mirror.

"COOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!" Joey screamed as he saw himself in the mirror.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!" Zoe hollered at them.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Yugi screamed again.

"COOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!" Joey screamed again.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"COOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!"

"ANSWER SUMO MAMA!" Zoe threatened as she took out a can of Sumo Cola and held it to her mouth threateningly.

"AH-" Yugi began, but stopped with his mouth wide open as Zoe growled at him. "All we did was put the hair gel in the hair." Zoe looked at the table. She walked over and grabbed the tub of hair gel on Yugi's desk thing, and read the warning label aloud.

"Warning. This product contains hazardous materials (IT HAS RADIOACTIVE JUNK, FREAK), and should not be over used. Nor should an entire tub be used to make your hair do weird things like get all pointy and such. (THIS MEANS YOU TRISTEN AND THE REST OF YOUR FREAK FRIENDS) You have been warned."

"… THAT'S A LIE! I AM NOT TRISTEN'S FRIEND! I am merely an acquaintance."

"… BIG WORDS! YOU THREATEN JOEY!!!" Joey screamed with fear. Out in the other room, Selena turned sharply at the door of the make-up room.

"Joey…senses… TINGLING!" she charged at the door and broke it down, then over in front of Joey with her arms outstretched to protect him. "Who dares hurt Joey without my supervision?" Zoe pointed at Yugi. Yugi whimpered in fear and hid behind his Yami, crying like a baby.

"Well Joey switched he and Yugi's hair gels." Zoe lied calmly and expertly.

"Oh? DID YOU JOEY?!" Selena turned behind her and saw Joey cowering in the corner of the room.

"Yes…" he managed to squeak.

"THEN YOU ARE FORGIVEN, YUGI PATRICIA MOTO! YOU MAY NOW RESUME WITH YOUR PITIFUL LIFE! COME, MINION!" Selena said, gesturing to Joey. They both walked out of the room, Selena pretending to fly with her arms in front of her making 'whoosh' noises. They were soon followed by Zoe, who was angrily carrying Yugi on her back. Yugi had a large smile on his face, since he had a small Jollyranchers lollipop Zoe had explained was smaller then Joey's brain.

His hair was also back to normal, as Zoe had fixed it for him. Joey had not yet fixed his hair though and as Zoe caught sight of him her eyes narrowed and she growled. She dropped Yugi on the floor, who bounced back up due to the diaper he was wearing underneath, and again and again, and so on and so forth.

Meanwhile, five minutes later Zoe popped out of the make-up room with a gun attached to a tub of hair gel.

"JOEY WHEELER, YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE LAW!!! THAT HAIR HAD A STRICT COPYRIGHT WHICH YOU HAVE VIOLATED! NOW YOU MUST PAYYYY AND DEARLY!" she pulled the trigger and some of the hair gel went flying at Joey's hair. Joey gasped and then dived behind a large crate. The hair gel landed on the wall, and melted in, then continued flying, where it hit a large girl named Tea on the other side of the world right in the face and made her fall into the ocean.

"YOU CANNOT ESCAPE SUMO MAMA!" Zoe cakled insanely as she started randomly shooting. So randomly, Joey's brain was sure the coast was clear and so made Joey stand up. 'Surprisingly' the glob of hair gel hit him right in the hair.

His hair started to move in all directions. Once the hair gel settled, Joey had Tea's hair style. He screamed like a little gitof a girl. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" While Zoe continued to cackle evilly, just to show off how much better her cackle was then anybody's. Somewhere, wherever it is that I put Bakura, which I'm saying because I'm too lazy to look back where it is I put him because it's very early and I'm writing this now with inspirational music so I can do homework later. Worship the ground I walk on for waking up in this cold to write this for you people.

Anyway, where ever Bakura was, he was crying miserably because Zoe's cackle was so much better than his. When he cackled, it sounded like a meow. Oddly, he was proud of it. He THOUGHT he had the second best cackle, which is not true, because I do. ACCEPT IT BAKURA!

Well, as Selena rose from her hiding place (behind Zoe) she gasped as she saw Joey.

"Joey… you've been…. Been…. TEAFIED!" she fell to her knees and started to cry.

"…. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Joey continued. Zoe looked at the screaming Joey. Then down at Selena and felt ashamed. How could she have given Joey such an awful hair style? It was obviously the result of some sort of freak accident. She sighed, and changed the hair gel tub. Then she fired at Joey and his hair resumed to normal.

"… YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Selena cheered. Then the turned to Zoe with anger. "Prepare to pay for that crime, Sumo."

"Huh?! STAY BACK! I STILL HAVE THIS AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT ON ANYONE!" she raised the tub of Tea's hair gel to prove it.

"Fine. You are forgiven, only because I do not feel Cheese Monkeyish and therefore am not at full power. Curse you, Potter… errrr…. Moto."

"NOW SING THE SONG OF KAIBA, THE BIRTHDAY BOY!" Kaiba demanded again. Zoe looked at him, a twinkle in her eye. She aimed, and fired at Kaiba's hair which embraced Tea's hair style. Kaiba started to cry.

"This is the best present I've ever received… I MUST SHOW THE WORLD!" He ran out side and stood on a box he found. "LOOK! I BARE THE BEST PRESENT EVER GIVEN!"

To his dismay, a crowd saw. They formed a mob and started chasing him out of the studio.

"Now we must decide this. WHO'S BIRTHDAY IS IT?!" Zoe scolded.

"I… I…. I DON'T KNOW! STOP MOCKING ME!" said Finney. Suddenly he punched Mokuba and made him fly across the room onto Myranda.

"Oooo…. A THREESOME!" Peggy exclaimed, jumping on as well. "Shouldn't we get somewhere a little more private though?"

"Oh, Peggggyyyyyyyy…." Myranda said.

"AHHHHH! HELP ME!" Mokuba said. No one seemed to hear him though.

"I suppose it's no one's birthday…" Chimpy finally dared to say.

"Are you sure? Cause mah calendar says 'SOMEONE'S BIRTHDAY' in big blue letters."

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" went Yugi as he bounced back up again for the millionth time.

"YUGI P. MOTO, ARE YOU HAVING FUN WITHOUT ME?!" Zoe ran over to a large bag in the corner and produced from is a giant box of diapers. She put one on over her jeans and started bouncing along with Yugi.

"Hey… FINNEY MUST JOIN!" Phoinex ran over to the diaper box and took out one for himself. Then he joined along. "WOOT! LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE DIAPERS!" Soon, Joey and Selena joined leaving Myranda, Mokubert, and Peggy in a dark corner, while Kaiba ran across Japan and somehow made it from Kyoto (in southern Japan), where the studios are, to Kushiro which is a city up in northern Japan. As he passed the seashore, Tea was floating in her asylum jacket in the tide, unable to move to shore.

"…? What the? Is that Kaiba? Why is he wearing my hair? Well it's not my hair… It hasn't really been since the accident…" Tea said to herself as she started to go into another of her regret things. As she did, she suddenly remembered something. "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!"

No one was around to hear her though since Kaiba was back in southern Japan running through Osaka, about 210 miles away from Tokyo, which was about 240 miles away from Kyoto which is a bit of worthless information installed in this story only to lengthen it to an amount of pages I am to be happy with.

Back in Kyoto, in the studio everyone was bouncing around merrily in their diapers, until Joey got a bit TOO comfortable and pooped, causing everyone to pass out for the next few hours, in which Kaiba made it to Kushiro 10 times and back, each time not noticing Tea, and each time unable to find his way to Kyoto. Some times later, Peggy who had not passed out stood and looked around.

"…. PARTY!" He ran to the center of his room in his thong and started dancing to "Jenny from the Block", his favorite song.

Then, the producer, who looked suspiciously like Phoinex walked in. "Pegasus, tell everyone we got a lot of money form someone and now you're all going to Disneyland for a special thing….." He left a card on the table and then walked out.

"Sure, boss…" Peggy said while moon walking to "That's What Girls Do".