Forsaken Angels:

Chapter X—Let It Be Me

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A/N: Back to flashbacks, going to recap what memories Nny was seeing while Squee and others were running around. This title comes from an Indigo Girl's song.

Disclaimer: _;; I've escaped Jhonen-sama's grasp and currently hiding behind a group of cheerleaders. Fear me Jhonen for I have cheerleading bimbos. That is until I kill them. STOP RAING AROUND ME!

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            It's not true.  It didn't happen. 

            Child-Me closes his eyes.  He doesn't want it to be true.  But unfortunately, reality is harsh and we both have to accept it…but we cannot.

            Kyle is dead.

            No matter how many times it is sung in my head…it won't stick.

            Is this where my hatred for humans began?

            Everyone is in mourning.  Even those who caused his death. 

            It was an accident. They didn't mean to. But it happened. They cannot turn away from what they've done!

            Kyle driven to death by sadistic bullies.

            Child-Me hugs a ratty old teddy bear—reminds me of Schmee—and cries quietly into it.

            "I wish I could…make them pay…"

            We could.

            "But I don't know how."

            Yes you do.

            "Johnny." Mother walks into my room. "Are you okay?"

            No.

            "No." I hop off my bed and into her arms. One question burns in my brain. "Why?"

            "I don't know, honey." She rubs my back.

            I take a good look at her. She's dressed in her "work clothes." Child-Me, as well as myself, is filled with disgust.

            "But I'll be okay. Please go." Child-Me says coldly.

            "Johnny, why…?" She had thought we were going to have a touching moment. But we cannot have one of those anymore Mother.  Can't you understand?

            "I don't want to talk to while you look like that." Comes the even colder reply.

            "Johnny…" Tears begin to fall down her face, smearing her make-up.

            "Call me Nny."

            "…Nny…?"

            "…yes..." Cold brown eyes turn to her. "Now that you know, please go. You don't want to keep your 'customers' waiting."

            "Alright…Jo—Nny." She leaves the room, tears still falling, but not before saying something to me. "I only do this because I love you."

            Child-Me goes back to sitting on the bed. "If you loved me, you wouldn't do this." I murmur into the plush fur of my teddy.

            Is this how Squeegee felt? All alone.

            But I could have been more open to my mother.  No…not while she's dressed like that.  It's like she's a different person.

            I cannot forgive her.  I cannot forgive those who killed my friend. I won't forgive them…ever!

            A small fire burns in my chest. It makes me cold.

            It scares me.

            Hate. Pure hate…I've never felt this before.

            Or maybe I have and I've become so used to it now…that I no longer am bothered by it.

            Child-Me is though.  He was taught not to hate.  To forgive.  But how can you forgive someone for that? 

           

            Even children have to draw a line!

            "But…I don't…understand…"

            And we never will.

            "Can someone answer my questions?"

            No. No one will know what to say.

            "Kyle…"

            The memorial was a few days alone.

            "It hurts…I wish it was me…"

            Those feelings won't end.

            "He would want me to live on…"

            When did I become so mature?  So intelligent…?

            "I'll live."

            We'll die soon.  Something is coming.

            And it will shatter us.

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TBC?

C&C are welcome.

Aren't I cruel? Yes I am!  But yeah…Johnny is pretty much saying what he thinks after his child-counterpart speaks.  I hope you followed it alright.  Sad isn't it?  Ah well…that's all.