Forsaken Angels:
Chapter XII—Beginning of the End
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O.o;; Don't know where the title came from. And Suko, that's right it does come from Planet Ladder. @.@;; I LOVE THAT MANGA SO MUCH! I didn't think anyone else knew it so I kept quiet. I adore Seeu. Damn he's hot. I wanna just much on some of his hair, though Lunar would probably kick my ass ten times over. Aha! I have probably lost lots of my readers now. Another short chapter. Sorry school's really being a bitch lately!
Disclaimer: Jhonen has reverted to his old tricks. Giving me new manga so I forget about this story! NOoo—hey, Kagami is one sexy robot bitch….
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Suicide.
Who would have thought a fourteen year old would have thought of suicide? No one I'm sure. But it's just too hard. Going on without Kyle. Without Celia. She left. She couldn't stand being without her brother…she went off to college and promptly dies emotionally rather than physically. Who would have known one death could make a person's world end?
Kyle's death was unexpected. I can't believe my Child-self is still obsessing. I can't believe I'm obsessing over something I've already obsessed about. But then…I lost these memories…somehow.
But he died. I shouldn't think about it anymore. It is driving me mad. Questions. Too many questions.
How could he do that?
Why did he do that?
Stop asking. We'll never know. We didn't even see him in Heaven or Hell. Or did we? I can't remember…
Blood. I remember blood. I went to Kyle's house to get him for school. Me and his mother walked to his room. Blood was on the bedsheets.
He had……no way.
Such an ugly way to go. He could have taken an overdose. Not bloody or anything…I should know…I'm the master of suicide! Why do I feel joy in that?
"Teddy…" Child-me holds the toy close. "I have no one."
Pfft...what is he talking about? He has a mother and a father. Something I wish I had now.
"I can't tell Mommy. I'm scared." I couldn't understand. Scared? He acts like he's six rather than fourteen.
"I'm scared…that I might do something."
Huh?
"Those kids. When I see them…I hate them. I hate them so much I…I don't know." He looked towards another wall. "I don't know…I don't want to see them again."
…Is this where my suicidal tendencies came in?
"But I also…want them to suffer."
Or should I say homicidal?
"Nny! Dinner!" Mother seemed to have taken to my new name.
"Yes." Child-Me looks up running to the door. "I'm coming."
We sit at dinner. Just me and Mother……Father no longer comes home. It's like his work is his family now. Though when I see him…he looks like he is about to snap. He can't stand what Mother is doing, but he can't ask her to stop because he brought this on himself. Him and his idiotic teenage hormones.
Perhaps if he had waited with Mother, none of us would be in this mess.
"Nny, how was school?"
"Fine."
"Did you…" Mother bites her lip. "Did you make any new friends?"
"No."
"Nny…you should…"
"NO! I DON'T WANT ANY OF THEM TO BE MY FRIENDS!"
"Nny!" She looks shocked almost angry. "You…you can't be like this, honey. It's not good for you."
"I hate them." Cold eyes met hers.
"Johnny," She reverted back to my "old" name. "Johnny, you don't mean that."
"Yes I do! I can't stand them. They are horrible! They think they know everything! They think that they are better than me!" Fury. This is the first time I had ever let any of this out…perhaps it was best kept in. "I wouldn't care if all of them died tomorrow!"
*CRACK*
Child-Me's cheek is red. Mother had slapped him.
"Johnny…oh Johnny…I'm so sorry." She moved to comfort Child-Me, however the young me would not have it. Getting up, he runs into his room, saying nothing to her.
Loud sobbing is heard in the kitchen.
Mother. I'm sorry Mother. I never wanted to make you cry…I was so mad. I remember…I was so mad. I didn't want to be a friend. Kyle was my friend. It would be like giving up that old teddy bear for a new one. One that I didn't know. One I had to get used to. No! I want things like they were.
The front door bangs open. Child-Me looks up from the bed.
"Daddy's home, Teddy."
Child-Me walks and listens to the conversation Mother and Father are having.
"What's wrong?" He asks, but he doesn't sound concerned. Not like before.
"Johnny hates me."
"Don't be stupid."
"He's so mad at me. I didn't mean to…I just couldn't stand what he was…saying."
"You hit him?"
"…I didn't want to."
"It's alright. He deserved it."
"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?!"
"Because he's the one who ruined this family."
"NO HE ISN'T! NO CHILD DESERVES TO BE HIT! NO CHILD RUINS A FAMILY!"
"No. No child does. But people do." Father's voice is dangerously low.
"Honey?"
"People ruin families. Like you."
"Like…me?" Her voice is so soft. So scared.
"You had to have Johnny."
"I couldn't get an abortion! I couldn't kill another thing you know…"
"You had to start selling yourself."
"I had no other means to…"
"And you had to stop loving me."
"W-What…I still love you. What are you talking about?"
Silence.
"Honey?"
"I see the way you don't care for me. How you ignore my presence. You just care for Johnny."
"That's not true. You always come home so late and I…"
"You only care for him."
Cold fear washes over me. W-What is going on…?
"Honey. I love you too."
"Of course."
Silence. Until the cry of destruction began.
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TBC?
C&C are welcome!
I seriously have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this chapter. Forgive me!! Seeu-sama you forgive me right!?
Seeu: ……………
Kagami? What about you?
Kagami: …………..
…..I guess I'm not forgiven. ~bursts into tears~
Seeu&Kagami: ~sweatdrop~