Author: Forlay
Rating: PG
Pairing: Penelope/Ginny
Summary: Penelope's duties as Head Girl include acting as a counselor for other students. But she gets a little more than she bargained for from her ex-boyfriend's little sister.
Author's Notes: My very first Harry Potter fic. Eep! But I'm pretty proud of it. But because it's my first, I have to warn you that the die hard fan is sure to find lots of errors in my fic. Major distortions in the timeline I'm going to attribute to making this an AU fic, okay? But I did what I could to keep this as accurate as possible.
Written in response to the 'Challenge of the Moment' at http://www.geocities.com/hoochsbroomcloset
Special thanks to the HP Femmeslash mailing list that gave me the encouragement I needed :-)
Feedback: Constructive criticism is wanted. Actually craved. Any tips and insights I can get into the details of the HP universe will be greatly appreciated.
Everyone thinks being Head Girl or Boy is the best thing that could ever happen to a Hogwarts student. Not only do they earn automatic respect and prestige, but they get their own rooms and teachers never question their tardiness.
I can't say I mind any of this - especially the blind eye towards tardies - but being Head Girl is not exactly what I wanted to be doing during my final year of school. Yes, the title, along with my year as a Ravenclaw prefect, would look brilliant on my resume upon leaving Hogwarts, but it was tiresome to always have to be a role model and peer counselor for all the other students.
Of course, this also makes me privy to all the school's gossip and most . . . interesting characters.
Take Ginny Weasley, for example. She comes to see me almost every Thursday night at 8 o'clock, usually to complain about her brothers. She can complain to anyone about Fred and George - the entire school thinks they're both idiots. Charming and fun, but idiots just the same. But Ron is a different story. He's famous by association as Harry Potter's best friend; most people are afraid to say anything bad about anyone so close to Harry. Slytherin students being the only exemption. So Ginny doesn't have many people she can talk to about Ron.
Except me.
Not only do I know all about the exploits of her brothers, as Percy's ex-girlfriend, but whatever is said in my room remains confidential, unless a student is going to her her or himself. Or someone else.
And some people wonder why Head Boys and Girls often go into psychology. I don't think I'll be one of them, but a lot of them do.
By December, I'd spent more time listening to Ginny than most of the other students put together. The other students came to see me once or twice, usually after a break up or bad news from home. Ginny came to my room almost every week. At first just to vent about Ron and the twins, but by December she was talking about other, more important things.
"I think I'm the only student who actually prefers living in the dorms," Ginny confided early in December.
She was probably right. I certainly didn't long for dorm life again. "Possibly."
"I've never liked being alone. I think it
comes from being in a big family, y'know?" With all the insightfulness
of that statement, Ginny sounded awfully glib. When other students are
making breakthroughs into the workings of their soul, they're somber and
serious. Ginny sounded like she could be talking about dinner. "I used
to not even like sleeping alone in my room. I'd crawl into bed with Mum
and Dad. Or even with Ron." She blushed. "But it wasn't gross or anything,
you know that, right?"
"I know."
Ginny sighed and threw herself back on my bed. "Is that maybe why I want a . . . date so bad? So I won't be alone?"
I frowned in through. Two profound insights in one evening? Ginny was turning out to be a lot deeper person than I had ever imagined. "Sounds like as good a reason as any." However, Ginny had never struck me as the boy crazy type. The only person she'd ever told me she liked was Harry Potter, but that wasn't much of a revelation: the entire school knew about that famous crush.
Ginny didn't mention romance again until just before exams started. I was distracted that night. I wanted to get back to my Potions studies. I think Snape had opposed my nomination as Head Girl (I heard one of the other contenders was a Slytherin) and has been harder on me than ever this year. He can't do much when I'm tardy to class, but I'm given less leeway in everything else. So even though it was Thursday night, I was hoping Ginny would be too busy with her own studies to visit me.
But she showed up, at eight o'clock, exactly. It's actually kind of creepy how punctual that girl can be.
"Is it normal to just suddenly stop having a crush on someone like Harry?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean one day I liked Harry, the next I didn't."
"Crushes rarely last long. Especially if a new interest comes along." One of the third year Ravenclaw boys had told me that Ginny was his partner in Potions and when he flirted with her, she seemed to flirt back.
Ginny frowned. "Yeah, but still . . . ."
"You liked Harry for a long time, didn't you?"
Ginny blushed furiously. "Yeah."
"Well, it might feel weird to start thinking about someone else, but it's healthy. There's nothing wrong with liking lots of different people."
Ginny blushed again. "Well, it's not liking them that's the problem . . . it's, you know, actually going out. And no one's asked me, either."
That I could believe. The Ravenclaw boy was far from outgoing. "Well, you could try asking someone yourself. I asked Percy on our first date." On a dare from my friends, but Ginny didn't need to know that.
"Really?"
I nodded. "Percy's ambitious, but reserved when it comes to actually making friends."
Ginny giggled, light and sweet. A fairy laugh. "Yeah, I know." She jumped off my bed. "Thanks, Penelope! I'll try it sometime."
I smiled again and waved until she closed my door behind her. Then I let the cheerful facade drop. I could only take so much warmth and bubbliness before I wanted to scream. Even (especially?) with someone as likable as Ginny.
Ginny didn't visit me exams week, which I didn't actually realize until the Saturday after. I guess we were both focusing exclusively on our exams.
Starting the next Monday however, I did start waiting for Ginny or the Ravenclaw boy to tell me she'd made her move. The next weekend was a Hogsmeade weekend, and couples around the school were already planning their days together.
Ginny finally came in at her usual time on Thursday night. I expected her to look triumphant, but instead she shuffled into my room. Her entire demeanor radiated nervousness.
"Are you all right, Ginny?"
Ginny nodded. Then shook her head. "I'm trying to take your advice and just ask, uh, a certain person to Hogsmeade. The Three Broomsticks is going to be hosting a dance that night, y'know. Lots of people are going to that."
"So what's holding you back?"
"I don't know if the person I want to ask even likes me! It would be totally embarrassing if they just saw me as a friend. Or a kid sister."
I chose to ignore Ginny's improper grammar. "It's an older student?" She nodded. "What year?"
"Seventh."
That surprised me. Third years and seventh years didn't spend much time together. Maybe Ginny had met someone through one of her brothers?
"Well, maybe you should leave the person a way to interpret your date however he wants."
"What do you mean?"
"Well . . . here, I'll show you. Pretend I'm you and you're the person you like, all right?" Ginny blushed, but nodded. I stood so Ginny and I were nearly eye to eye. She'd inherited the Weasley lankiness, so she was already nearly my height. I cleared my throat so I could lighten my voice, trying to imitate Ginny's. "So, are you going to Hogsmeade this weekend?"
Ginny shrugged delicately. "Possibly."
"Well, I heard there's going to be dancing at The Three Broomsticks. Maybe we could meet there, have a dance or two?"
Ginny nodded, but then slumped back against the door. "It's not that easy."
"Sure it is - "
"No! It's not!"
I sat back down on my desk chair in surprise. I couldn't remember ever hearing Ginny raise her voice like that.
"I'm sorry, Penelope!" Ginny seemed just as shocked by her behavior as I was. "I didn't mean to shout, it's just . . . I kinda left out an important detail."
"What's that?"
Ginny started shifting nervously and looked everywhere but at me. "Penelope, I think . . . I'm gay."
It was a night of surprises. "Oh." I'd been warned at the beginning of the year to be prepared for students to possibly come out to me, but I'd never been told what to do. And wasn't third year a bit . . . young to decide something like that?
"Don't be mad," Ginny whimpered.
"Mad? Oh, Ginny, this isn't something I can exactly get mad over. It's not like I can change anything. Or would," I assured her. Though I wondered if that was the truth . . . . Like I said, I don't know how great a Head Girl I made, thinking things like that.
But it must have been the right thing to say. Ginny relaxed. "Thanks."
"So, you want to ask a girl out?"
"Mm-hm."
"Do you know if she's . . . gay?"
"No. She's dated guys before, but hasn't for awhile. And I never hear about her liking anybody . . . ."
I thought quickly, trying to come up with some good advice. I was hardly qualified, though. "Are you very close to this girl?"
A shrug. "Kind of. We talk, but . . . ."
"Well then why don't you still invite her to meet you at The Three Broomsticks? But maybe settle for a butterbeer instead of a dance. I don't know of any really 'out' girls, and dancing together would be a big step outward. For both of you."
"But couldn't it be worth the risk?"
"That's something only you can decide."
"Yeah. I guess." She sighed. "Anyway, are you going to Hogsmeade?"
"Of course."
A ghost of a smile appeared on her thing lips. "Maybe I'll see you there."
"Maybe."
Ginny turned to leave.
"Hey, Ginny?" She stopped, her hand on the knob. "Good luck, however you decide."
Her reply was nearly inaudible, but I think she said "Thanks."
***
The Great Hall was full early Saturday morning and everyone was much more awake than usual. That was the effect a Hogsmeade weekend had on the school.
I didn't have anyone in particular to spend my day with. I was going to meet Cho Chang, one of the Ravenclaw prefects this year, for lunch but she was going to spend the morning with her boyfriend. Most of my friends had similar plans. After dumping Percy shortly after his graduation, this was the story of my life.
So I had a relaxing morning wandering the cozy streets of Hogsmeade alone. This was the good thing about being single. However, walking past the romance books in the bookshop is never fun. The romantic covers, showing witches and wizards undressing and kissing passionately only served as a reminder of what I didn't have. And actually wasn't all that sure I wanted.
But that day, instead of hurrying past the shelves as I usually did to get to the Muggle Studies section, I looked closely at all the covers. And noticed that, without fail, every couple was a man and a woman.
How would Ginny feel, walking down here? I mean, if they served to remind me of what I'd given up (though Percy was never the greatest kisser) what would they say to Ginny?
And why did I care suddenly?
One of the sales women approached me as I was staring at books. "Looking for any particular book?"
I jumped. "Oh! No. No, not any one. Just browsing."
"Very good. Please come find one of us if you do need help, though."
"Wait, maybe you can help me." The woman came back. "Um, do you have any . . . any gay romances? I'm looking for a gift for a friend," I assured her quickly. POssibly too quickly. She didn't look convinced.
"Yes. We do have some. Follow me."
I felt like I was being punished as the woman led me to a dark corner of the otherwise bright shop. "Here," she said simply. I thanked her as she turned to leave. Fast.
There were only three shelves of books, all shelved like library books so I had to bend my neck at an uncomfortable angle to read the titles.
I quickly realized that this wasn't an exclusively romance section. The Gay Wizard's Guide to Family didn't sound particularly romantic.
But I did find a few romances. Most of the covers, however, only featured wizards mimicking their heterosexual cover counterparts.
After a thorough search, I finally found three novels for witches. One was a book of pure smut. There was no way I was going to give that to Ginny (I think the women on the cover were actually having sex. I didn't look too closely though). The other was a mystery novel about two lesbians looking in the Ministry of Magic. It looked tame, but boring. I didn't want to read it now; I certainly wouldn't have wanted to as a third year.
The last book had two teenage witches on the cover, simply holding hands while glancing at eachother flirtatiously. Much better than any other romance book I'd seen that day.
The clock on the wall began to chime. I glanced up and saw it was noon. I was meeting Cho in 15 minutes! I hesitated for only a moment before I brought the book to the clerk to buy it.
While waiting for the man to give me my change, I kept glancing around the shop, making sure no other student saw me buying the book. It wouldn't have taken long for rumors to start flying about the lesbian Head Girl.
Which got me to thinking as I ran to the cafe, the book weighing down my bag and thumping against my thigh. What would they do if a Head Girl or Boy was gay? Professor Dumbledore was extremely open minded, but everyone had to have a limit.
I shook my head, then smiled and waved when I noticed Cho through the window of the cafe. It wasn't like this was something I really had to worry about. I certainly wasn't gay.
"What kept you?" Cho asked me as I sat down.
"I was at the bookshop. Getting something for a friend."
"Ooh, can I see?"
"No!" Unconsciously I gripped my bag. I had to think hard about it to loosen my hands. "I mean, I had it wrapped at the shop. That's what took so long."
"Is it someone's birthday?"
"Um, soon." To change the subject I grabbed a menu. "I've never been here before. What's good?"
Cho didn't mention my odd behavior the rest of the meal. And as the afternoon went on, even I began to forget about the possibly incriminating book in my bag. I don't know how long it was out of my mind, but I remembered it was a start that night at The Three Broomsticks.
I'd found a table as far from the dance floor as possible and was sipping a butterbeer. A few couples were already on the floor, swaying under the enchanted multi-colored lights to the music that seemed to come from everywhere yet nowhere. I kept my back to the floor. The romance section at the bookshop had given me enough reminders of my single status for one day. The only reason I hadn't gone back to Hogwarts early was to see what happened with Ginny and her possible date.
Ginny entered with a large group of people, but none were connected to her. She looked lost, standing alone near the door. Until she saw me. She waved at me and I waved back, inviting her to my table.
"How's your day been?" I asked her.
"Nerve-wracking."
"Have you asked her yet?"
Ginny sighed heavily and shook her head. "I haven't seen her between Thursday night and now. Alone, anyway."
I nodded. "Oh, I, uh, picked something up for you today." I picked up my bag from the floor. "Maybe I'm being presumptuous, so feel free to bring it back. But I was looking at books and realized they were all man/woman romances and thought that if they made me feel depressed, it's got to be a lot worse for you, but maybe this will make you feel better?" I hate it when I get nervous. I start to ramble.
I finally handed Ginny the book.
I don't know how I was expecting her to react, but it certainly wasn't with an excited squeal and a hug. "The last Wanton Witches book! Do you know how long I've been waiting for this?! I didn't think it was ever going to be written. How did you know?!"
I had never seen Ginny so excited. And over a book of all things! "It was the only book they had that looked, uh, interesting."
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Oh, I know. Sometimes they have nothing but textbooks. Definitely not what you want to read after class." She hugged me again. "Thanks so much, Penelope! So, do you want to dance?"
I stared at the girl that I seemed to hardly know that was standing in front of me. "Huh?" was the only thing I could manage.
Ginny's face went from red with excitement to white with shock in an instant. "But you said - and then - so I thought - " She whimpered, then dropped the book and ran out of the dark room.
I cursed to myself under my breath as I grabbed my bag and the book (I didn't want it found and associated with us), then ran after her.
Ginny was putting her long legs to good use as she sprinted down the now dark street. I ran after her, but I'd never been and athlete and she had a good head start.
I was close to giving up when one of Ginny's feet caught the hem of her heavy robe. In a moment, she was face down in the light dusting of snow, but was immediately scrabbling on the icy street to get up.
I put on a final burst of speed and caught up with her just in time to catch her before she slipped again on the ice. "Let me go!" she cried as she kicked at me. "Let me go!"
"Ginny, shh. Settle down. Listen to me!" If I could have, I'd have pulled my wand out of my bag and put a Tranquilizing Charm on her, but to reach my bag I'd have had to release Ginny.
"No, no," the wild girl in my arms sobbed. "How could I have been so stupid?"
She was beginning to lose her will to fight. And I could feel the cold getting to her. She was shaking. "Come with me." I gently half led, half carried her to a nearby bench. I sat her down, then sat next to her; now I only had to keep one hand clamped down on her arm to discourage any escape attempt. "Now, Ginny, let me explain."
"Explain what? Why you hate me now?"
"I could never hate you, Gin." Be annoyed, maybe even angry with her clinginess? Sure. But now her weekly visits were beginning to make sense.
"But - but - but," Ginny stammered between sobs.
"Shh. Just listen." I considered wrapping an arm around Ginny to help warm her, but mixed signals wouldn't really help the situation. "I have to be honest, Ginny. You really shocked me the other night. I had absolutely no idea how you felt. I only know two or three gay people, and none of them have been very close to me."
Ginny's sobs were reduced now to loud sniffs.
"I didn't know how to react when you told me, and I didn't know how to react when you invited me to dance."
Now, how to put into words feelings that I had barely started to realize?
"A friend asked me once, after I dumped Percy, if I was gay. By her reasoning, only a lesbian would let a catch like Percy go."
That broke through Ginny's sobs. She wrinkled her nose. "Percy? A catch? Yuck!"
"That was basically my reaction, too. Percy's a nice guy, and I kinda wish it had worked out between us, but he's far from being a 'catch.' At least for me. I think I need someone a little more laid back."
Ginny rubbed her nose. "So what'd you say to your friend?"
"Oh, hell no. There was no way I could be gay. Gay women never liked guys. They hated them, actually. Or, that's what I thought. Wrongly, obviously."
"Obviously?"
"Well, you used to have a crush on Harry. And you're nice to that guy in Potions. Don't ask how I know," I told her when she looked ready to interrupt.
"Where is this going, Penelope?"
Deep breath, Penelope. Relax. "Maybe I gave my friend the wrong answer. Or only a partially correct one. There are women who like both women and men, right?"
Now it was Ginny's turn to act as teacher. "Yeah. Bisexuals."
"Well, maybe that's what I am then. I was surprised that you asked me to dance because, well, I'm far from the most attractive girl in school -"
"But you're one of the nicest," Ginny interjected. "And you're almost as smart as Hermione."
I smiled wryly. The Gryffindor girl was a legend in her own time at Hogwarts. "Well, I don't think I'd go that far, but thanks."
"So does this mean you'll be my girlfriend?"
Ginny looked so eager and hopeful, that I didn't want anything or anyone to possibly hurt her. Ever. But . . . "I don't know if I can, Ginny." She tried to pull her arm away from me, but I tightened my grip again. "Listen to me! I don't know, I'm not half as sure of myself as you are. And then there's the age factor . . . ."
"That shouldn't matter," Ginny said stubbornly. "Why do people try to put age limits on when you can date people?"
I shrugged. "I don't know, Gin. But you know . . . I don't think they put limits on when you can dance with people. Does your offer still stand?"
Ginny looked skeptical at first, but when I let go of her, stood up and offered her my hand, she took it. I pulled her off the bench. "Wait," I said as she tried to lead me back to The Three Broomsticks. "I don't know if I'm quite ready to make my debut there. Mind if we maybe have our own dance?" I pulled my wand out of my bag and quickly murmured a charm so soft music began to play.
Ginny smiled and I felt my heart skip a beat. Oh boy, I thought to myself. I gave myself an inch and Ginny was going to dragging me for miles.
Ginny placed my arms around her neck, then wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me close so there was hardly an inch between us. The closeness made me a little uncomfortable, but I made myself relax and let Ginny lead us.
And I found myself hoping, despite all rational thought, as we swayed under a dusting of snowflakes, that this would work out better than my last relationship with a Weasley had.