The Misadventures Of Severus Snape
Disclaimer: I don't own J.K. Rowling's characters. I am sure by now you can guess which ones are mine.
Snape sighed and paced his cramped dungeon. What he wouldn't give for a jar of peanut butter right now. He needed a good nights sleep. Or maybe he just needed a vacation. After taking lots of drugs, he curled up on his desk and began to snore and twitch.
Snape looked around, he was at a spa.in Mexico? Well wherever he was the people here were strange. They were running around with yellow and pink striped turbans. That was all that most of them were wearing. Lucky for Snape everything was blurred out like it is made for TV movies. Snape jumped down from the box of oranges he had been on and began to explore.
He wandered through the streets and was suddenly shoved violently to one side as Lucius Malfoy shoved by him. Lucius appeared to be chasing on of the naked servants in a turban. Draco ran by next holding a feed sack open. For some reason this disturbed Snape a lot. He just didn't want to know what Lucius Malfoy would want with a naked guy in a turban. Snape looked at the shop he was standing next to. It sold Voodoo dolls in the shapes of all the Hogwarts students and professors.
Naturally Snape went in to investigate. He learned that for three hundred galleons he could single handedly rule all of Hogwarts, for these voodoo kits contained everything necessary to control the mindless idiots that called themselves students. Snape being cheap however, settled on the Harry Potter doll. Once he had set everything up, he bewitched the doll so that it would do the Macarena ceaselessly.
Immediately in his bedroom on Privet Drive Harry Potter awoke to find himself doing the Macarena. Being unable to stop his newfound dance fever, Harry committed himself to saving the world while doing the Macarena. His new super hero name would be, superboywholivedafterbeingcursedbytheevilwizardvoldemortwhonobodylikestoname willdancethemacarenawhilesavingyouidiotsfromyourpettyandquitestupidfearsandt henactlikeapompousidiotandflyaroundonmystupidbrandnewbroomthatalwaysseemstob ebetterthaneveryoneelses. Feeling that was too long for a name he settled on Scar Boy for short.
Meanwhile Snape now found himself surrounded by numerous naked turban guys and was feeling quite bewildered by the ordeal. He started yelling to himself to wake up, but the drugs had not worn off yet so he was stuck. He backed away from the naked demons wondering what they wanted from him. Lucius Malfoy jumped upon one of the turban guys suddenly and Draco tried to put the sack over him.
One by one Draco bagged the naked turban men, then he and Lucius ran off Tee-Heeing. Snape would have to remember to thank Lucius, and to give Slytherin 30 points. Draco and Lucius had saved him from being molested by thirty or more naked men in strange turbans. Snape continued his walk down the street, on both sides of him people were making out with hippogriffs and dragons. Snape resisted the urge to yell at the sickos, what they did with their bodies wasn't his business. He just wanted to get out of here.
Snape looked around wondering if there was an owlery around here somewhere. For some reason he thought the only logical thing to do would be to send an owl to Dumbledore asking for an extension on this delightful vacation. Maybe he would apply for a position in a school around here somewhere so that he would never have to leave. He might even get a tan down here. He already had a healthy glow on his cheeks, but that could be from all of the running he had just done.
Disclaimer: I don't own J.K. Rowling's characters. I am sure by now you can guess which ones are mine.
Snape sighed and paced his cramped dungeon. What he wouldn't give for a jar of peanut butter right now. He needed a good nights sleep. Or maybe he just needed a vacation. After taking lots of drugs, he curled up on his desk and began to snore and twitch.
Snape looked around, he was at a spa.in Mexico? Well wherever he was the people here were strange. They were running around with yellow and pink striped turbans. That was all that most of them were wearing. Lucky for Snape everything was blurred out like it is made for TV movies. Snape jumped down from the box of oranges he had been on and began to explore.
He wandered through the streets and was suddenly shoved violently to one side as Lucius Malfoy shoved by him. Lucius appeared to be chasing on of the naked servants in a turban. Draco ran by next holding a feed sack open. For some reason this disturbed Snape a lot. He just didn't want to know what Lucius Malfoy would want with a naked guy in a turban. Snape looked at the shop he was standing next to. It sold Voodoo dolls in the shapes of all the Hogwarts students and professors.
Naturally Snape went in to investigate. He learned that for three hundred galleons he could single handedly rule all of Hogwarts, for these voodoo kits contained everything necessary to control the mindless idiots that called themselves students. Snape being cheap however, settled on the Harry Potter doll. Once he had set everything up, he bewitched the doll so that it would do the Macarena ceaselessly.
Immediately in his bedroom on Privet Drive Harry Potter awoke to find himself doing the Macarena. Being unable to stop his newfound dance fever, Harry committed himself to saving the world while doing the Macarena. His new super hero name would be, superboywholivedafterbeingcursedbytheevilwizardvoldemortwhonobodylikestoname willdancethemacarenawhilesavingyouidiotsfromyourpettyandquitestupidfearsandt henactlikeapompousidiotandflyaroundonmystupidbrandnewbroomthatalwaysseemstob ebetterthaneveryoneelses. Feeling that was too long for a name he settled on Scar Boy for short.
Meanwhile Snape now found himself surrounded by numerous naked turban guys and was feeling quite bewildered by the ordeal. He started yelling to himself to wake up, but the drugs had not worn off yet so he was stuck. He backed away from the naked demons wondering what they wanted from him. Lucius Malfoy jumped upon one of the turban guys suddenly and Draco tried to put the sack over him.
One by one Draco bagged the naked turban men, then he and Lucius ran off Tee-Heeing. Snape would have to remember to thank Lucius, and to give Slytherin 30 points. Draco and Lucius had saved him from being molested by thirty or more naked men in strange turbans. Snape continued his walk down the street, on both sides of him people were making out with hippogriffs and dragons. Snape resisted the urge to yell at the sickos, what they did with their bodies wasn't his business. He just wanted to get out of here.
Snape looked around wondering if there was an owlery around here somewhere. For some reason he thought the only logical thing to do would be to send an owl to Dumbledore asking for an extension on this delightful vacation. Maybe he would apply for a position in a school around here somewhere so that he would never have to leave. He might even get a tan down here. He already had a healthy glow on his cheeks, but that could be from all of the running he had just done.