Notes: Wow, I haven't written the last chapter for this! Oh well. I guess you can expect one coming later for The Two Towers as well

Finally Perfected My Fighting FANFICTION ORCS!

Fireweilder

But there would be no escape for them now MWHAHAHAHA! As the crouched fellowship heard the dreaded FANGIRLS approach, they figured no smelly fart would save them now. All the FANGIRLS had on gas masks (although none of the fellowship knew that so Gimli was still farting up a storm causing all of them to lose their Hobo Soup). Legolas managed to strangle Gimli in the process but it was too late. Gimli couldn't make them silent anymore.

*FFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTT

Immediately, all the fellowship was gagged and bounded. In the process, Aragorn, Legolas and Frodo seemed to have misplaced their shirts and now couldn't find them anywhere. It was actually kinda cold so they started convulsing on the ground.

Anyway, the FANGIRLS were now dragging all the fellowship back to their dreaded Sex Mobile 3018. Now perhaps you reader have not heard of the horrors of the Sex Mobile 3018 and for that you should be thankful. There were rumors that once you went in, you never came out. What was done inside…no one in his or her right mind knows except Gollum who is not in his right mind. Might I also point out that Gimli was simply tied to a tree while everyone else was taken to the Sex Mobile 3018.

But something happened then the fellowship did not expect, but the FNAGIRLS had planned all along. When forced, though kicking and screaming, in to the spacey bus, I mean Sex Mobile 3018, there in the bed was a scandaly dressed…white Gandalf. After three hours of continuous screaming, Aragorn managed to gather enough courage to ask Gandalf what THE HELL HE WAS DOING! Not to mention wearing…

"Gandalf, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! And more importantly, how did you get here of all places since I though this dreaded machine was reserved for the sexy?"

"Um," said Gandalf in a high ass voice, trying to imitate a little girl's voice, "I was like, had this enlightenment thing at the bottom of the like long chasm thingy. And finally, after three hundred years, I am finally going back to my roots! I am also reverting back to my former name in the West, Horny G"

"Oh, so you were the city bike in the Valinor? Not to mention you had a sex change?" asked Frodo.

"Yep."

"Larsy, larsy, larsy..." Wheezed Legolas, rolling on the floor in the fetal position

"So…your gonna let us go, right," said Aragorn, garbing Sam and Frodo by the necks and kicked Legolas nearer and nearer the door. But as he broke into a full sprint and flung open the door, he was…surprised to say the least.

Once thousands of rabid FANGIRLS had stood out side the door, but now they all lay dead, though no visible injury done to them. A soft rustle sound came from the left and Aragorn cautiously crept toward the noise, sword raised. Instead, he found gimli cut free and now talking casually to a pretty FANGIRLS tied to the nearest tree. He was standing there stroking his beard, fingering his ax (NO NOT THAT AX!). the FANGIRL instead was desperately trying to kill her self to no avail.

"Gimli! Did you do all that?" asked Aragorn, pointing back to the clearing.

"No, actually that was Boromir. He streaked, yes I mean STREAKED through the clearing and the FANGIRLS just fell down, screaming bloody murder."

"Did they resemble this?" he asked again as he dragged Legolas toward Gimli. He was still in fetal position.

"Ya. Hey, why is he like that? What happened to you guys. I wanted to come but they said I wasn't old enough." Pouted Gimli

"Dude, I would not give you a life time of horrors to tell you what the hell just happened to us. You'll thank me when your dead." Said Aragorn, patting Gimli's shoulder.

Suddenly, a blaring sound came over the clearing.

"What the hell is that?" asked Sam

"It's a fog horn. Duh! We must be near the sea!" exclaimed Legolas, running through the woods while shouting "Ai, Ai! The seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea!" splash "Never mind!"

"Actually I think its Boromir's cell phone ring."

"Oh. Wait, who would call Boromir?" asked a wet Legolas (droooool!)

"No, it was so his dad could keep track of him."

"Natch."

**

"I would have called you my brother, my captain, my KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!" shouted Boromir as the fellowship rowed him over the cliff. What did it matter anyway, he was poisoned with FANGIRL arrows, thus explaining Boromir's increase insanity.

"I'M DONE NOW!" he shouted, but it was too late anywho. thud he hit the rocks. Much rejoicing

"So, what do we do now?" asked a still wet Legolas

"Gets go drink!" shouted Aragorn

"Dammit, shut up you damn hobo! Do you not realize what just happened! Frodo and Sam are gone! Boromir is DEAD and I haven't seen Merry and Pippin since we left the sex car of doom." Shrieked Gimli, as only a dwarf can.

Silence

"Lets go drink!" Shouted Aragorn and Legolas, running toward the woods

"…Ya, sure why not." Sighed Gimli, as Legolas squealed with joy and raced after Aragorn into the woods. "And music queue in… now!"

**

"Boy, that was really great!" commented Peter Jackson, sitting in his editing room, "I'm glad that's over with!"

A mad fanfiction writer walks in and leans toward Peter's ear. "But you have two more movies to do!"

Peter's eyes go bloodshot

Cool! I'm done with this one! Took me long enough. Anywho, this chapter has a really weird sense of humor so you'll have to bear with me. Happy Boxing Day! ^_^