A/N: Ooohhh, it's been awhile since I've updated, hasn't it! O_O Ack! I'm
sorry, please forgive me! _
*crickets chirping*
Alrighty then! ^_^ Time for two new relevations! The revealing of Jii-chan and Kaede-baba, and the drunkening of the Inu bros.! O_o Should be lots of fun, I think. Let's get going!
Chapter 5: Time for Some Yum-Yums and The Devious Drunken Doggie Duo, Plus One Wolf
"No more than ten minutes."
"No more than FIVE minutes!"
Miroku and Sango were betting amongst themselves. They were betting on how long until Kikyou would be kicked out by Kagome. Kikyou watched them with raised eyebrows.
"Feh, she won't kick me out. She allowed me to stay."
Sango looked at Kikyou in surprise. "No way, she agreed to it? That doesn't sound like our Kagome..."
Kikyou messed around with a strand of her hair. "Actually, it was Inuyasha who said I could stay. Your little Kagome was a mountain top of burning lava the whole time," she said with a laugh.
Miroku bent his head to the side and huffed. "THAT sounds like our Kagome." Sango nodded with her arms folded across her chest.
"Gaaaaa...." Sesshomaru stood behind Kikyou, still drooling over her. She twitched as his doggy slobber got on her clothes. Jakotsu, Shippou and the others watched from a far corner.
"Why did Kikyou have to come?..." Shippou said unhappily. "Kagome-san is always so very unhappy when she is around..."
"Sesshy likes her," Rin added on, for no particular reason. Jaken wasn't paying attention to any of them. He held the two halves of his staff, sobbing pathetically.
"Boo hoo...my poor little staff...my precious....that meany Miroku killed you forever...but we showed him, didn't we, precious? Yes, we did, gave him many nasty, nasty bruises we did. Yes. Jaakeeen..." (A/N: I couldn't resist ^_^)
Jaktosu glared at Jaken. "Really now, if you don't stop whining like a baby, I'll tie you up in this rope," Jakotsu threateningly held up a rope.
"Ack! No, not rope!" Jaken exclaimed as he waved his arms wildly. "It hurts us, hurts us it does, precious! Jaakeen! Rope made by mikos, nasty evil mikos with glowing eyes! It kills us when touches, it does! Yes, precious, it does!"
Jakotsu was twitching in anger. Instead of punching Jaken on the head though, he turned away from him and coughed. "And people say I'm weird..."
Jaken snarled at Jakotsu. "Silly fruit knows nothing, nothing, my precious! We are supreme, yes, we are supreme over all, precious. Especially nasty little fruit, Jaakeen..." (A/N: Tee hee, maybe I'll keep him like this for the rest of the story ^_^)
"Gah..." Yes, Sesshy was still drooling on Kikyou. Finally, she got fed up and walked away from him.
"Great...now my garments are wet..." Kikyou spun around and pointed at Sesshomaru. "Dog-boy! For your punishment, you must assist me into drying these clothes! Come now!"
Kikyou turned again and walked into the nearest room. Sesshomaru grinned widely and followed. With them gone, Miroku coughed nervously.
"Well this certainly changes things. I feel bad..."
"That Kagome has to endure Kikyou?"
"No..." Miroku's face saddened. "Inuyasha won't get any play tonight!"
Sango face-faulted. "Y-you perverted..."
Miroku frowned. "What, you think differently? Come on, I'm not blind. They're gonna do it sometime, I can tell."
"No one ever said they had to..." Sango muttered. Miroku ignored this last statement, his mind traveling to something else. "Doing it...hmm..."
"ACK!"
Sango jumped at Miroku's yell. "What are you screaming for?" Miroku turned and ran downstairs without answering. "What?!" Sango ran after him.
*Good grief, Kaede-baba's gonna kill me!!* Miroku began to sweat. Sango caught up with him as he reached the bottom of the stairs.
"What are you doing?!"
Miroku glanced at her quickly. "I let Kaede-baba and Jii-chan into "Seven Minutes in Heaven" when we were playing Spin the Bottle!"
"WHAT?! How long ago was that?!" Miroku gulped. "H-half an hour ago..." Sango gritted her teeth. "YOU IDIOT!!"
"Sssh! You'll wake them up," Shippou said as he suddenly appeared. The exterminator and the priest looked at Shippou in confusion. Then they saw what Shippou was speaking of.
"Tee hee....perhaps what you said wasn't mostly false, houshi-sama..."
"Ho ho! How interesting..."
Kagome had leaned over even more in her sleep. She was resting in the sleeping Inuyasha's lap, and one of his arms had also fallen over her shoulder. Sango giggled as Miroku grinned maliciously.
"Yo, Sango, got a camera?"
Without second thought, Sango whipped out a camera and tossed it to Miroku. Miroku eyes glinted with mischief and he started taking pictures. This is how the pictures came out:
Pic 1: Kagome and Inuyasha are still in the same position as before
Pic 2-4: Just the same pic over and over
Pic 5: Inuyasha's eyes are beginning to open
Pic 6: Inuyasha is yelling at the camera as Kagome begins to wake up
Pic 7: Inuyasha is charging at the camera while Kagome is pointing a finger at the camera and yelling
Pic 8: The camera has backed away from Inuyasha. Sango is to the side, looking surprised. Inuyasha is still charging while Kagome is still yelling
Pic 9: The camera is toppling over. Inuyasha's claw is right in the camera's face
Pic 10: The camera is facing straight up, with an angry Inuyasha and Kagome yelling down
Pic 11: The camera is facing a random part of the house. It appears to have been tossed into the air
Pic 12: Inuyasha is pounding Miroku in the face as Kagome runs at the camera's new location
Pic 13: Kagome is right in front of the camera, pulling back a fist. Shippou is trying to pull her hand away as Sango's hand is signaling her to stop
"Calm down, Kagome, EASY THERE!!" Sango said hopefully. "What's a few pictures for the photo album to you, huh?" Shippou tugged on Kagome's arm. "Don't hit Sango, Kagome-san! Hitting is bad!"
Kagome closed her eyes while fuming with anger. Her face was quite red from being caught in such an awkward position with Inuyasha. Inuyasha's would have been as well, but his face was more red with anger than embarrassment.
"YOU SON OF A...YOU COULD HAVE BLINDED ME WITH THAT INTENSE LIGHT!! DON'T DO IT AGAIN!" Inuyasha snarled as he gave Miroku one last hit. Miroku groaned as his body shook in pain. "Oooohhhhh..."
Kagome eased over to Inuyasha and pulled his arm away from Miroku. "Okay...maybe they've had enough..." Inuyasha whined. "Just one more punch?"
"NO." Inuyasha obeyed and he moved to the side. Kagome helped Miroku up. "You okay?"
"Gasp...uh huh, I'm fine....aha ha ha..." Miroku grinned again. "What were you two doing there? I wish to know."
Kagome blushed. "N-nothing...what do you think? We were talking bout' stuff and dozed off."
'Talkin' bout' what?"
"STUFF." Inuyasha said dryly. "And it don't concern you." Miroku began to sweat again. "Okay, okay! Don't hurt me again!!"
Miroku put a hand to his chin. "Though I'll bet it had something to do with~mmph!!" Sango slammed on Miroku's head, shutting his mouth closed.
She whispered, "Ex-nay on the ikyou-Kay...stupid..." Inuyasha gritted his teeth, suddenly appearing behind Miroku. He was about to pound him on the noggin.
"AH AH AH," Kagome said as she shook her finger. Inuyasha whimpered and sat down. Miroku's eyes widened at Inuyasha obedience to Kagome.
"Eh heh...how nice." Inuyasha growled. *Stupid girl...the things a guy's gotta do to avoid a sitting...sheesh.*
Kagome clapped her hands together suddenly. "Okay, who's up for some snackies?" The group face-faulted. Kagome smiled cheerfully. "Alright, follow me, then!"
Inuyasha and the others reluctantly followed Kagome into the kitchen. There was a large table covered in a table cloth, hiding its contents. Shippou went to peek under it, but Kagome pushed him away.
"No no, no peeking. Just one more thing left to do." Kagome went to the cupboard and began rummaging through it. "One more should do it..." Kagome pulled out a large can of something and placed it under the cloth. Inuyasha's ears perked up as she did this.
"Okay..." Kagome took hold of the cloth and pulled it off. "Ja ja ja jaaaannn!!"
Miroku, Sango, and Shippou stared hungrily. The table was filled with food of all sorts. Inuyasha just grunted at the display.
"Hmph...most of this stuff is not fit for me....WAAAAHHH!!!!!" Inuyasha had finally noticed what was taking of ¼ of the table space.
"RAAAAMMMEEENNN!!!!!!" Inuyasha exclaimed, drooling heavily. Kagome smiled. "I knew you wouldn't be satisfied with just a little bit..."
Inuyasha nodded vigorously, drool still dripping from his fangs. Not being able to contain himself anymore, he charged at the ramen. Sango, Miroku, and Shippou also went for the other foods.
Kagome nodded in approval. "Very good..." She turned her head and called upstairs, "YO, TIME FOR SNACKS, MINNA SAN!"
'TRUP TRUP TRUP TRUP TRUP TRUP'
'KRASH!!'
Kagome groaned as she recovered from her trampling. Now the entire household had arrived and was chowing down. Well, everyone except Sesshomaru and Kikyou, and Jii-chan and Kaede-baba of course.
"Mmm, delicious...scrumptious...superb..." Miroku muttered as he swallowed two hamburgers in one gulp. "Hey, Inu, want some patties?"
"NO."
"Heh heh, alright. At least let me try some of them noodles there."
"HELL NO, THESE ARE MINE!!! GET YOUR OWN!" Inuyasha said as he threw a can of ramen in his mouth, completely forgetting to open it first. He then sniffed in the air suddenly. His nose brought him down to his feet, where Shippou was nibbling at a piece of ramen.
"AHEM." Shippou looked up slowly. He grinned sheepishly, and slowly backed away. Inuyasha smiled in approval and continued his ramen fracas.
"Oh, is it time to eat?" Kikyou said as she casually walked into the kitchen. Though she couldn't see her coming, Kagome twitched a little. Sesshomaru followed Kikyou from behind, managing to keep his drooling on the ground and not her clothing.
"Gaaa...oh?" Sesshomaru noticed Inuyasha and immediately stopped drooling. He whistled innocently when Inuyasha glanced at him with a dull expression. Luckily, Inu did nothing, and went back to his meal.
"Heh heh..." Sesshomaru nervously went over to the table. Though he wanted some ramen as well, he dared not get in his brother's way. He instead went for the pizza, which Jakotsu was currently hogging all to himself.
"Nice meal you have here....not an exquisite one, but still fine..." Kikyou said quietly as she stepped behind Kagome. Kagome forced a smirk. "You can go somewhere else if you don't like it."
"No no, I can eat here, even if my stomach screams in pain from your food's taste, which I'm sure it will."
"Oh no, please, be my guest. I'm sure you can go find a nice restaurant or something near here...or far from here."
"You do know how pathetic you are, Kagome, right?"
"I know you are, but what am I?"
"See? Even your comebacks are pathetic."
"Not really. In a way, you are me, so I guess we're both pathetic."
"Perhaps...though most of my pathetic quality got sent to your body, I think..."
Sango watched the two in surprise. *Wow, they're not even fighting. They're acting like old friends picking on each other...* Sango's eyebrows lowered slowly.
*Though I can still sense a hidden hostility in their words. They're like mortal enemies, no matter the circumstances. Always fighting...even if not showing it directly. I can only see one way that the feud could ever be solved...*
Sango gulped as she drank from a can of soda. *Inuyasha would have to choose one....and he seems to prefer both. Not good at all.*
Not being a pig like the others, Kikyou threw some sushi onto a plate and took it into the living room, where she could eat in peace. Kagome stuck her tounge out at Kikyou from behind her back.
"Jaken, grab us some of that ham, ne?" Sesshomaru said as he tugged at a piece of pizza, trying to pull it away from Jakotsu. "I'm saving this for Inu-chan!! You may not have it!"
"Ack, hisssss...Jaken wonders me'lord, we wonders, yes...wonders why you must eat in such a nasty, nasty way."
"Hmmm?" Sesshomaru coughed out between pulls. "How is this nasty?"
"Not the way you eat, no no, we don'ts dishonor that, no precious...but the food that you eat, it is nasty. Made my mikos it is, mikos with glowing eyes! They try to poison Jaken, nasty little mikos! Jakkeenn!"
Sesshomaru stared blankly at Jaken. He shrugged, going back to his tug-of- war with Jakotsu. Jaken frowned. "They ignores us, precious. Jaakkeenn...we feels lonely, yes, we does..."
At the opposite end of the large table, Miroku and Sango took turns eating off a plate of rice cakes. (A/N: You know, those white things with the black stripe on them that anime characters always eat. Those ARE rice cakes, right? ~_O)
In a short time, the plate was empty. Miroku and Sango sat on the ground, their tummies filled to the brim. "Indigestion, anyone?"
"Oooo, please don't mention that word."
"Oh, but I've got lots to share."
'RRMBLE'
Miroku laughed. "Aha ha ha, still hungry, Sango?" Sango frowned. "Very funny...but I thought that was you."
"No..."
'RRMBLE'
Miroku and Sango turned towards a closet at the far end of the kitchen. There were strange noises coming from it. The obvious source of the noise took a few minutes to dawn upon Miroku's small brain.
"WAK! We forgot! Kaede-baba and Jii-chan!" Sango jumped to her feet in a flash. "You mean they're in there? Oh man...it sounds like Jii-chan's tryin' to rape her or somethin'!"
"Sango, rape is such a harsh word, you know," Miroku said lowly. "Besides, what if she gave in to him?"
"Oh please. Never in a million years would she do so." Miroku stood up as well and the two walked to the closest. Unfortunately, Kagome chose that time to see what they were doing.
"I hear somethin' bout Jii-chan?" Kagome asked, surprising them. Sango turned to keep her away from the closet. "N-nothing, Kagome...we didn't mention him..."
"Fine, but could you please move aside?" Kagome said, becoming annoyed by Sango's blockade. "I need to get a mop to clean up Inuyasha's mess on the floor!"
"O-oh, is that where the mops are?" Sango wondered nervously. Kagome stamped her foot on Sango's foot. "YEOW!"
"Yes, that is where they are. Now please get out of my way." She walked forward, pushing Miroku aside as she did. With a quick pull, she opened the closet door.
"Kaede-baba..."
"Oohh...Jii-chan...eh?"
"OH MY GOD!!!!!" Kagome screamed. Everyone except Inuyasha turned their attention to the open closet, revealing a very REVEALING scene.
"Oh my..." Miroku felt like he was going to faint. Sango put a hand to her mouth, feeling the urge to barf right then and there. Shippou, always- oblivious-Shippou, waved to the two in the closet.
"Hi, Kaede-baba! Did you save me some tea? But wait, where is the tea? All I see is~" Shippou was cut off when a shocked Sesshomaru clamped the young kistune's mouth shut. At the same time, he enclosed his free hand in front of Rin's face, so she wouldn't have to witness the horrible scene.
"Kagome, closeth thy door now!!"
'SLAM'
Kagome laughed silently with a confused/silly grin on her face. She stumbled out into the hallway, and fainted thereafter.
"Ah, Kagome!" Shippou ran out into the hall to help her, along with Myouga. Seeing the opportunity to make a break for it, Sango made some gagging noises and rushed out to the nearest bathroom. A desperate Miroku followed. Sesshomaru muttered something about "throwing up, barrel of laughs", and he, Rin, and Jaken ran off. Jakotsu skipped out of the room to watch the mayhem.
"Mmmmm...this is so good, Kagome. Much better than the last batch you had," a satisfied Inuyasha said between slurps of his precious ramen. The confusion had left the poor hanyou alone in the kitchen, which he had yet to notice.
"Psst...hee hee hee, hiya, doggy poopy."
"Hmm?"
"Someone get some water!"
"Calm down, boy! That'll make her mad!"
"Who cares? Let her sleep forever."
"YOU SHUT UP!"
Shippou waved a fan over Kagome's face as her unconscious body rested on the couch. Myouga hovered above her, trying to think of a way to wake her up.
'LIGHTBULB'
"Aha. I know just the thing." Myouga floated down and landed on Kagome's neck. He begin to "suck" at her skin. Kikyou cringed. "Oohh..."
'slap'
Kagome lightly moved her hand to the side, slapping Myouga off her. A faint, "Works every time," could be heard as he fell to the carpeted floor. Kagome woke up then, rubbing at her neck.
"Damn Myouga, why ya' always gotta be biting people..." Kagome muttered. Shippou cried happily and jumped into Kagome's arms. "Yay, you're okay!"
"Heh, of course I am. I just fainted, that's all. Speaking of which..." Kagome's face darkened. "Who knows about THAT?"
"Miroku-sama knows!" Shippou answered. "He sent Kaede-baba in that closet with your granpa when we played 'Spin the Bottle'!"
Kagome clenched her fists as her teeth chattered. "M-Miroku...god damn you...and he did this right in front of you?"
"Why not? They were just going in to have tea."
"TO HAVE TEA?! 'THE HELL?....augh...." Kagome tramped towards the stairs to find Miroku. The others followed in earnest.
It was about 10 or so minutes later. Sesshomaru had came back downstairs, looking for his bro. "Inuyasha? Little bro? You in here?"
A pile of empty ramen cans littered the floor. But some of them led a trail out to the back door, which Sesshomaru spotted quickly.
"Hello, what's this?" Sesshomaru got on all fours and followed the trail of ramen like a hunting dog. He crawled outside, finding a slightly raised steel ladder leading to the roof. As Sesshomaru started to climb up, he heard two voices singing.
"On the ffffooouurrrtttthhhh dey of Christmas, my tlue love gave t'me..."
"Umm....four cans of ramen, three ramen containers, two ramen packages, and a can of a ramen in a ramen tree!!!"
"You is stooped! She can'ts get you just ramens!"
"Why not? RAMEN IS GOOD FOR YE' HEART AND SOUL! Bwa ha ha..."
*What the hell...* Sesshomaru thought. *Sounds like a bunch of drunkards.* Now Sesshomaru was really curious. He began climbing faster. At the end of his journey up, he received yet another surprise for the evening.
"JINGLE BELLS, WE BOTH SMELL, SESSHY ATE AN EGG! MIROKU PEED IN HIS PANTS, AND SANGO GOT SOME PLAY! HEY!"
Sesshomaru's mouth dropped open, hitting the roof top with a thud. Inuyasha and Kouga sat at the top of it all, one of their arms along the other one's shoulder. Cases of beer were piled around them, along with a few cans of ramen. Both youkais were drunk, but Kouga much more than Inuyasha. The two looked like old drinking buddies as they sang while swinging around beer mugs.
"B-brother! You've become wasted!" Inuyasha grinned when he saw Sesshomaru. "LOOK, KOUGA-KUN! IT'S THE DEVIL MAN I TOLD YOU ABOUT!"
Kouga laughed insanely. "By jove, you is right! I must slice it of its head and mount it on me wall!" Kouga jumped down, aiming a drowsy kick at Sesshomaru's head.
"Waaahhh..." Luckily, Kouga had tried to kick far too early, and he fell flat on his feet before he was even a meter in front of Sesshomaru. He began crying pathetically. "Darns it, darns it! Now me coalection is incompleteded!"
Inuyasha stood up as he poured another can of beer into his mug. "Don't fret, Kouga-kun! There's always next semester!"
"YOU IS RIGHT AGAIN! I WILL CATCH THE GREAT SESSHOMARU-MON NEXT SEASON!"
The two started dancing around and sang again. "GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL, POKEMON!!"
Sesshomaru's face was drawing a blank while Inuyasha and Kouga danced a circle around him. He tried to analyze what was going on.
*Okay, let me go through this....apparently, Kouga stumbled upon my bro while we were all upstairs, convinced him to drink with him, and led him up here. So now, Kouga and my brother are stoned and screwed up.*
"............Is there space for one more, dudes?"
"JOIN US, M'LAD, JOIN US!" Inuyasha exclaimed. Kouga tossed Sesshomaru a beer can. The white-haired dog demon grinned and tore the top off, proceeding to gulp it down in a couple sips.
"Aaaah! More! I want more, now!!!" Sesshomaru yelled happily. Now he would really get to have fun, according to him. According to Kagome....well, probably not.
"I'm going to be drunk for the first time in my life! Oh, happy day!!"
"BLECH!"
The rest of the party watched outside one of the bathrooms as disgusting noises came from it. Kagome wrinkled her nose. "That's gross..."
"Hey now, that's my bathroom...they're gonna make it all icky," Souta complained.
"PLEH!"
"Careful, careful! Don't splatter everything!" (A/N: Augh...I know I'm gonna get flamed for this _)
"Sssshhhuttt uu-uup! TLECH!"
"AUGH! YOU'RE GETTING IT ON ME!!"
"GOOD! YECCHH!"
"SANGO!!!!!"
Jakotsu laughed hysterically. He ran to the doorknob and pulled at it. "I wanna see her barf! Open the door, now!!!!"
Kikyou grabbed Jakotsu by the collar and threw him into the wall. "Why you would want to see that is beyond me..." Jakotsu laughed silently before losing consciousness.
"Hey, hurry up! I have to pee!" Souta exclaimed as he bounced around. Just then, the doorknob clicked and turned. Miroku walked out, wiping himself with a towel. "Kid, you don't wanna pee in there."
"But~"
"You DON'T wanna pee in there," Miroku said more forcefully. As he stepped out of the way, a groaning Sango staggered out.
"If anyone mentions Spin the Bottle ever again this evening, please, shoot me..."
Jakotsu saluted. "Yes, mam'!" Kikyou twitched as she glared at him. "Go back to sleep..."
Kagome shook her head as she glanced in at the bathroom. "What an awful mess..." She pointed at Kikyou. "You, get someone to clean this up. I'm having a word with these two..." Kagome grabbed Miroku and Sango by the ears and dragged them downstairs, despite their protesting.
Kikyou put a hand to her chin. She looked into the bathroom, immediately pulling her head out in disgust. "Revolting..." Kikyou reached down and grabbed Jaken by the head.
"What is she doing, we wonders? Why does she put pain on our noggins, precious?" Kikyou tapped him on the head, wondering if anyone was even home.
"....clean this up." With that said, Kikyou tossed Jaken into the bathroom and closed the door. Jaken pounded on the door as she walked away.
"Gaaahh! Evil, nasty mikos lock Jaken away! WAAAAHHHH, JAKEN IS SCARRED FOR LIFE! NASTY, NASTY MESS, PRECIOUS!!!"
"Idiot," Kikyou muttered as she walked away. Jakotsu began laughing again.
"YOU LET MY GRANPA' PLAY SPIN-THE-BOTTLE?!!"
Miroku looked at the ground with a guilty expression. The three sat in the living room. Miroku and Sango on the couch, and Kagome in front of them. "Yes..."
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! JII-CHAN IS JUST AS LECHEROUS AS YOU, IF NOT MORE!" Kagome exclaimed. She stopped suddenly to think about what she just said. "I TAKE THAT BACK, YOU ARE STILL THE KING OF LECHERISM, NO DOUBT!"
Miroku frowned while Sango held in a laugh. Kagome glared at her. "And YOU let him let Jii-chan play. You're as much responsible."
Miroku frowned even more. "You ain't yellin' at her...."
Kagome tossed her hands into the air. "Just forget it! I'll go get them out of there, right now!!"
'THUMP THUMP THUMP'
The three froze. A thumping noise was coming from the roof. "W-what was that?" Sango whispered.
"How should I know, it's outside!" Kagome said through clenched teeth. Miroku lifted his staff up and pointed at the point the noise came. After a moment, the sound moved, and Miroku followed it. He came to a stop at the front door.
"Ssshhh...it could be a burglar..." Miroku whispered. He edged over to the front door and peered through the eye hole.
"Well?"
"I don't see anyone. I need to get a closer look," Miroku said as he opened the door. He stepped onto the welcome mat and looked around as the cold air blew into the house.
"H-hurry up, it's ch-chilly out there," Sango said with chattering teeth. Miroku sighed. "Everything appears normal. Probably just a bird on the roof..."
"JA JA JAAAAAAANNNNN!!!"
"KKIYAAHH!!!" Miroku screamed as he fell to the ground in shock. Sango and Kagome ran to the front door. "Oh my, houshi-sama...."
'PIFF'
A very pleasant looking Inuyasha landed on top of Miroku. He smiled with a wide grin. "HEEELLLOOOO!!!"
"I-Inuyasha? That was you on the roof?" Kagome questioned him. "What were you doing up there?"
"Oh, we had lots of fun, Kagome-chan!"
Kagome stepped back in surprise. "K-Kagome-chan?!" Inuyasha nodded. "Uh huh! Weee!!" Inuyasha slid into the house and landed on his hands. He started walking on his hands.
"H-he called me Kagome-"chan"...." Kagome said. "Aye, he's never done that before." Sango agreed. Miroku found the situation amusing. "What on earth are you doing, Inuyasha?"
"I'm doing tricks! See? Beg, Inuyasha!" Inuyasha immediately jumped on all fours and started begging. "Good! Now play dead!" Inuyasha fell to the ground and pretended to be dead. "Good me! I deserve a treat!"
"Eh...." Miroku sweated nervously. "Inuyasha, a-are you..."
Inuyasha scampered around the room on all fours. "We had so much fun, Kouga- kun is so much fun!" Kagome froze at this. "K-K-Kouga??!!"
As if on cue, Sesshomaru and Kouga jumped down at the front door. "WE'RE HERE!"
"AUUUGGGH! YOU'RE DRUNK!!!" Kagome exclaimed. "You're all drunk!!"
"Aw, Kagome-chan, drunk is such a strong word," Inuyasha said as his tongue rolled out of his mouth. "Think of it as us being physically deprived of our sense of reason!"
"BUT THAT'S WHAT IT IS!!" Kagome explained. Inuyasha put a hand to his forehead. "Really? I did not know that..."
"I KNEWS!" Kouga exclaimed. "La de la de da!!" Kouga grabbed the nearby Sango and tossed her into the wall without warning.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??!!"
"Dancin'! Dance wit' Kouga!" Kouga grabbed Sango again and began spinning her around. "WWWAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" As Kouga did so, he accidently bumped into the big boom box, turning it on. Souta's anime CD was still in, but it went to a different song. It was the Tenkaichi Gohan song, just perfect for the mood our group was in right now.
Suddenly, Inuyasha looked upstairs. "OH MY GOD! I sense a jewel shard, Sesshy!"
"Holy Tetsusaiga, Inu-kun! You're right!!"
Inuyasha pointed to no particular direction. "Come, to the Shikon Cave, and to the Hanyou-mobile!" Inuyasha and Sesshomaru ran right into a wall. Completely oblivious, they kept smashing into it over and over again.
"HOUSHI-SAMA, HELP MEEEEEE!!!" Sango pleaded as Kouga chased her up the walls, literally. Sango held onto the ceiling fan for dear life as Kouga jumped up at her.
"Comes down, m-m-m-misses lady man! I feels perky tonight!" Kouga laughed as he tried to grab Sango by the legs.
Miroku was standing by the switch that turned the fan on. "Sango, jump down!"
Willing to try anything, Sango jumped, just as Kouga lunged. Kouga slammed into the fan. The sleeve of his shirt got caught on one of the blades. Miroku took the opportunity to flick the switch.
"WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH!!!" Kouga screamed in a silly way as he spun around and around. Eventually, he got pulled into the fan completely and was thrown out like a rag doll. He landed on top of the consistent Inuyasha and Sesshomaru.
"Woo hoo! I is streakin'!!" Kouga exclaimed when he noticed that most of his clothing was torn up. He quickly tore off the rest of his clothes and ran around screaming with joy. Eventually, he ran upstairs.
"AAAAHHH!!!" Sango and Kagome covered their eyes, while Miroku was laughing his head off. At that time, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru sprang to action.
"Holy youkai, Inu-kun! That madman Kouga is going MAD....and he's a MAN!"
Inuyasha gasped. "By the hairs on our father's back, you're right, Sesshy! Come now! Forget the Hanyou-mobile, we'll just take...THE ELEVATOR!"
Miroku rolled on the floor in laughter, tears streaming down his face like two rapid waterfalls. Kagome and Sango stared blankly at the two dog demons as Sesshomaru suddenly grabbed Inuyasha.
'FLING'
"GOING UP!" Sesshomaru tossed Inuyasha into the air. He plowed right through the ceiling. Sesshomaru waved his hands wildly at the others in the room, then jumped up as well.
"WA HA HA HA!!! OH HO HO! BWA HA HA HA HA HA, OW!!!" Miroku rubbed his head as Sango put Hiraikotsu away. "That's not funny! It's absurd!"
Miroku wiped his tears away as he stood up. Kagome groaned. "Well it can't be helped. I'm sure they've finished all the beer...so they'll sober up eventually."
"YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Came the screams of the other guests upstairs. Kagome gulped and coughed nervously. "I hope."
A/N: Inu's drunk! Sesshy's drunk! Kouga's drunk! We're all drunk, HEY!! ^_^ lol, don't worry, I'm fine. It's just so fine to write drunken dialogue.
Inuyasha: I WANNA WRITE THE NEXT CHAPPIE!!!!! ^_^
NO! Drunkards are forbidden to narrate! ~_O
Inuyasha: Please?! Pwetty pwease with big fwuffy spwinkles on top? I'll be a good puppy-wuppy!!
*ignores the drunken Inu* So are you ready for the next chapter too? Then start CLICKING, and I shall deliver! ^_^
Inuyasha: ....Please?
Next time on "Party at the Higurashi's!": It would seem Kouga has finally sobered up, but what of Inu and Sesshy? Uh oh, Inuyasha's ever annoying conscience taking physical form?! O_o The problem is, Inuyasha's the only one who can see him! Will Inuyasha ever sober up? Will Kagome be able to handle anymore of Kikyou? Will I ever shut up? ^_^ Find out next time!
*crickets chirping*
Alrighty then! ^_^ Time for two new relevations! The revealing of Jii-chan and Kaede-baba, and the drunkening of the Inu bros.! O_o Should be lots of fun, I think. Let's get going!
Chapter 5: Time for Some Yum-Yums and The Devious Drunken Doggie Duo, Plus One Wolf
"No more than ten minutes."
"No more than FIVE minutes!"
Miroku and Sango were betting amongst themselves. They were betting on how long until Kikyou would be kicked out by Kagome. Kikyou watched them with raised eyebrows.
"Feh, she won't kick me out. She allowed me to stay."
Sango looked at Kikyou in surprise. "No way, she agreed to it? That doesn't sound like our Kagome..."
Kikyou messed around with a strand of her hair. "Actually, it was Inuyasha who said I could stay. Your little Kagome was a mountain top of burning lava the whole time," she said with a laugh.
Miroku bent his head to the side and huffed. "THAT sounds like our Kagome." Sango nodded with her arms folded across her chest.
"Gaaaaa...." Sesshomaru stood behind Kikyou, still drooling over her. She twitched as his doggy slobber got on her clothes. Jakotsu, Shippou and the others watched from a far corner.
"Why did Kikyou have to come?..." Shippou said unhappily. "Kagome-san is always so very unhappy when she is around..."
"Sesshy likes her," Rin added on, for no particular reason. Jaken wasn't paying attention to any of them. He held the two halves of his staff, sobbing pathetically.
"Boo hoo...my poor little staff...my precious....that meany Miroku killed you forever...but we showed him, didn't we, precious? Yes, we did, gave him many nasty, nasty bruises we did. Yes. Jaakeeen..." (A/N: I couldn't resist ^_^)
Jaktosu glared at Jaken. "Really now, if you don't stop whining like a baby, I'll tie you up in this rope," Jakotsu threateningly held up a rope.
"Ack! No, not rope!" Jaken exclaimed as he waved his arms wildly. "It hurts us, hurts us it does, precious! Jaakeen! Rope made by mikos, nasty evil mikos with glowing eyes! It kills us when touches, it does! Yes, precious, it does!"
Jakotsu was twitching in anger. Instead of punching Jaken on the head though, he turned away from him and coughed. "And people say I'm weird..."
Jaken snarled at Jakotsu. "Silly fruit knows nothing, nothing, my precious! We are supreme, yes, we are supreme over all, precious. Especially nasty little fruit, Jaakeen..." (A/N: Tee hee, maybe I'll keep him like this for the rest of the story ^_^)
"Gah..." Yes, Sesshy was still drooling on Kikyou. Finally, she got fed up and walked away from him.
"Great...now my garments are wet..." Kikyou spun around and pointed at Sesshomaru. "Dog-boy! For your punishment, you must assist me into drying these clothes! Come now!"
Kikyou turned again and walked into the nearest room. Sesshomaru grinned widely and followed. With them gone, Miroku coughed nervously.
"Well this certainly changes things. I feel bad..."
"That Kagome has to endure Kikyou?"
"No..." Miroku's face saddened. "Inuyasha won't get any play tonight!"
Sango face-faulted. "Y-you perverted..."
Miroku frowned. "What, you think differently? Come on, I'm not blind. They're gonna do it sometime, I can tell."
"No one ever said they had to..." Sango muttered. Miroku ignored this last statement, his mind traveling to something else. "Doing it...hmm..."
"ACK!"
Sango jumped at Miroku's yell. "What are you screaming for?" Miroku turned and ran downstairs without answering. "What?!" Sango ran after him.
*Good grief, Kaede-baba's gonna kill me!!* Miroku began to sweat. Sango caught up with him as he reached the bottom of the stairs.
"What are you doing?!"
Miroku glanced at her quickly. "I let Kaede-baba and Jii-chan into "Seven Minutes in Heaven" when we were playing Spin the Bottle!"
"WHAT?! How long ago was that?!" Miroku gulped. "H-half an hour ago..." Sango gritted her teeth. "YOU IDIOT!!"
"Sssh! You'll wake them up," Shippou said as he suddenly appeared. The exterminator and the priest looked at Shippou in confusion. Then they saw what Shippou was speaking of.
"Tee hee....perhaps what you said wasn't mostly false, houshi-sama..."
"Ho ho! How interesting..."
Kagome had leaned over even more in her sleep. She was resting in the sleeping Inuyasha's lap, and one of his arms had also fallen over her shoulder. Sango giggled as Miroku grinned maliciously.
"Yo, Sango, got a camera?"
Without second thought, Sango whipped out a camera and tossed it to Miroku. Miroku eyes glinted with mischief and he started taking pictures. This is how the pictures came out:
Pic 1: Kagome and Inuyasha are still in the same position as before
Pic 2-4: Just the same pic over and over
Pic 5: Inuyasha's eyes are beginning to open
Pic 6: Inuyasha is yelling at the camera as Kagome begins to wake up
Pic 7: Inuyasha is charging at the camera while Kagome is pointing a finger at the camera and yelling
Pic 8: The camera has backed away from Inuyasha. Sango is to the side, looking surprised. Inuyasha is still charging while Kagome is still yelling
Pic 9: The camera is toppling over. Inuyasha's claw is right in the camera's face
Pic 10: The camera is facing straight up, with an angry Inuyasha and Kagome yelling down
Pic 11: The camera is facing a random part of the house. It appears to have been tossed into the air
Pic 12: Inuyasha is pounding Miroku in the face as Kagome runs at the camera's new location
Pic 13: Kagome is right in front of the camera, pulling back a fist. Shippou is trying to pull her hand away as Sango's hand is signaling her to stop
"Calm down, Kagome, EASY THERE!!" Sango said hopefully. "What's a few pictures for the photo album to you, huh?" Shippou tugged on Kagome's arm. "Don't hit Sango, Kagome-san! Hitting is bad!"
Kagome closed her eyes while fuming with anger. Her face was quite red from being caught in such an awkward position with Inuyasha. Inuyasha's would have been as well, but his face was more red with anger than embarrassment.
"YOU SON OF A...YOU COULD HAVE BLINDED ME WITH THAT INTENSE LIGHT!! DON'T DO IT AGAIN!" Inuyasha snarled as he gave Miroku one last hit. Miroku groaned as his body shook in pain. "Oooohhhhh..."
Kagome eased over to Inuyasha and pulled his arm away from Miroku. "Okay...maybe they've had enough..." Inuyasha whined. "Just one more punch?"
"NO." Inuyasha obeyed and he moved to the side. Kagome helped Miroku up. "You okay?"
"Gasp...uh huh, I'm fine....aha ha ha..." Miroku grinned again. "What were you two doing there? I wish to know."
Kagome blushed. "N-nothing...what do you think? We were talking bout' stuff and dozed off."
'Talkin' bout' what?"
"STUFF." Inuyasha said dryly. "And it don't concern you." Miroku began to sweat again. "Okay, okay! Don't hurt me again!!"
Miroku put a hand to his chin. "Though I'll bet it had something to do with~mmph!!" Sango slammed on Miroku's head, shutting his mouth closed.
She whispered, "Ex-nay on the ikyou-Kay...stupid..." Inuyasha gritted his teeth, suddenly appearing behind Miroku. He was about to pound him on the noggin.
"AH AH AH," Kagome said as she shook her finger. Inuyasha whimpered and sat down. Miroku's eyes widened at Inuyasha obedience to Kagome.
"Eh heh...how nice." Inuyasha growled. *Stupid girl...the things a guy's gotta do to avoid a sitting...sheesh.*
Kagome clapped her hands together suddenly. "Okay, who's up for some snackies?" The group face-faulted. Kagome smiled cheerfully. "Alright, follow me, then!"
Inuyasha and the others reluctantly followed Kagome into the kitchen. There was a large table covered in a table cloth, hiding its contents. Shippou went to peek under it, but Kagome pushed him away.
"No no, no peeking. Just one more thing left to do." Kagome went to the cupboard and began rummaging through it. "One more should do it..." Kagome pulled out a large can of something and placed it under the cloth. Inuyasha's ears perked up as she did this.
"Okay..." Kagome took hold of the cloth and pulled it off. "Ja ja ja jaaaannn!!"
Miroku, Sango, and Shippou stared hungrily. The table was filled with food of all sorts. Inuyasha just grunted at the display.
"Hmph...most of this stuff is not fit for me....WAAAAHHH!!!!!" Inuyasha had finally noticed what was taking of ¼ of the table space.
"RAAAAMMMEEENNN!!!!!!" Inuyasha exclaimed, drooling heavily. Kagome smiled. "I knew you wouldn't be satisfied with just a little bit..."
Inuyasha nodded vigorously, drool still dripping from his fangs. Not being able to contain himself anymore, he charged at the ramen. Sango, Miroku, and Shippou also went for the other foods.
Kagome nodded in approval. "Very good..." She turned her head and called upstairs, "YO, TIME FOR SNACKS, MINNA SAN!"
'TRUP TRUP TRUP TRUP TRUP TRUP'
'KRASH!!'
Kagome groaned as she recovered from her trampling. Now the entire household had arrived and was chowing down. Well, everyone except Sesshomaru and Kikyou, and Jii-chan and Kaede-baba of course.
"Mmm, delicious...scrumptious...superb..." Miroku muttered as he swallowed two hamburgers in one gulp. "Hey, Inu, want some patties?"
"NO."
"Heh heh, alright. At least let me try some of them noodles there."
"HELL NO, THESE ARE MINE!!! GET YOUR OWN!" Inuyasha said as he threw a can of ramen in his mouth, completely forgetting to open it first. He then sniffed in the air suddenly. His nose brought him down to his feet, where Shippou was nibbling at a piece of ramen.
"AHEM." Shippou looked up slowly. He grinned sheepishly, and slowly backed away. Inuyasha smiled in approval and continued his ramen fracas.
"Oh, is it time to eat?" Kikyou said as she casually walked into the kitchen. Though she couldn't see her coming, Kagome twitched a little. Sesshomaru followed Kikyou from behind, managing to keep his drooling on the ground and not her clothing.
"Gaaa...oh?" Sesshomaru noticed Inuyasha and immediately stopped drooling. He whistled innocently when Inuyasha glanced at him with a dull expression. Luckily, Inu did nothing, and went back to his meal.
"Heh heh..." Sesshomaru nervously went over to the table. Though he wanted some ramen as well, he dared not get in his brother's way. He instead went for the pizza, which Jakotsu was currently hogging all to himself.
"Nice meal you have here....not an exquisite one, but still fine..." Kikyou said quietly as she stepped behind Kagome. Kagome forced a smirk. "You can go somewhere else if you don't like it."
"No no, I can eat here, even if my stomach screams in pain from your food's taste, which I'm sure it will."
"Oh no, please, be my guest. I'm sure you can go find a nice restaurant or something near here...or far from here."
"You do know how pathetic you are, Kagome, right?"
"I know you are, but what am I?"
"See? Even your comebacks are pathetic."
"Not really. In a way, you are me, so I guess we're both pathetic."
"Perhaps...though most of my pathetic quality got sent to your body, I think..."
Sango watched the two in surprise. *Wow, they're not even fighting. They're acting like old friends picking on each other...* Sango's eyebrows lowered slowly.
*Though I can still sense a hidden hostility in their words. They're like mortal enemies, no matter the circumstances. Always fighting...even if not showing it directly. I can only see one way that the feud could ever be solved...*
Sango gulped as she drank from a can of soda. *Inuyasha would have to choose one....and he seems to prefer both. Not good at all.*
Not being a pig like the others, Kikyou threw some sushi onto a plate and took it into the living room, where she could eat in peace. Kagome stuck her tounge out at Kikyou from behind her back.
"Jaken, grab us some of that ham, ne?" Sesshomaru said as he tugged at a piece of pizza, trying to pull it away from Jakotsu. "I'm saving this for Inu-chan!! You may not have it!"
"Ack, hisssss...Jaken wonders me'lord, we wonders, yes...wonders why you must eat in such a nasty, nasty way."
"Hmmm?" Sesshomaru coughed out between pulls. "How is this nasty?"
"Not the way you eat, no no, we don'ts dishonor that, no precious...but the food that you eat, it is nasty. Made my mikos it is, mikos with glowing eyes! They try to poison Jaken, nasty little mikos! Jakkeenn!"
Sesshomaru stared blankly at Jaken. He shrugged, going back to his tug-of- war with Jakotsu. Jaken frowned. "They ignores us, precious. Jaakkeenn...we feels lonely, yes, we does..."
At the opposite end of the large table, Miroku and Sango took turns eating off a plate of rice cakes. (A/N: You know, those white things with the black stripe on them that anime characters always eat. Those ARE rice cakes, right? ~_O)
In a short time, the plate was empty. Miroku and Sango sat on the ground, their tummies filled to the brim. "Indigestion, anyone?"
"Oooo, please don't mention that word."
"Oh, but I've got lots to share."
'RRMBLE'
Miroku laughed. "Aha ha ha, still hungry, Sango?" Sango frowned. "Very funny...but I thought that was you."
"No..."
'RRMBLE'
Miroku and Sango turned towards a closet at the far end of the kitchen. There were strange noises coming from it. The obvious source of the noise took a few minutes to dawn upon Miroku's small brain.
"WAK! We forgot! Kaede-baba and Jii-chan!" Sango jumped to her feet in a flash. "You mean they're in there? Oh man...it sounds like Jii-chan's tryin' to rape her or somethin'!"
"Sango, rape is such a harsh word, you know," Miroku said lowly. "Besides, what if she gave in to him?"
"Oh please. Never in a million years would she do so." Miroku stood up as well and the two walked to the closest. Unfortunately, Kagome chose that time to see what they were doing.
"I hear somethin' bout Jii-chan?" Kagome asked, surprising them. Sango turned to keep her away from the closet. "N-nothing, Kagome...we didn't mention him..."
"Fine, but could you please move aside?" Kagome said, becoming annoyed by Sango's blockade. "I need to get a mop to clean up Inuyasha's mess on the floor!"
"O-oh, is that where the mops are?" Sango wondered nervously. Kagome stamped her foot on Sango's foot. "YEOW!"
"Yes, that is where they are. Now please get out of my way." She walked forward, pushing Miroku aside as she did. With a quick pull, she opened the closet door.
"Kaede-baba..."
"Oohh...Jii-chan...eh?"
"OH MY GOD!!!!!" Kagome screamed. Everyone except Inuyasha turned their attention to the open closet, revealing a very REVEALING scene.
"Oh my..." Miroku felt like he was going to faint. Sango put a hand to her mouth, feeling the urge to barf right then and there. Shippou, always- oblivious-Shippou, waved to the two in the closet.
"Hi, Kaede-baba! Did you save me some tea? But wait, where is the tea? All I see is~" Shippou was cut off when a shocked Sesshomaru clamped the young kistune's mouth shut. At the same time, he enclosed his free hand in front of Rin's face, so she wouldn't have to witness the horrible scene.
"Kagome, closeth thy door now!!"
'SLAM'
Kagome laughed silently with a confused/silly grin on her face. She stumbled out into the hallway, and fainted thereafter.
"Ah, Kagome!" Shippou ran out into the hall to help her, along with Myouga. Seeing the opportunity to make a break for it, Sango made some gagging noises and rushed out to the nearest bathroom. A desperate Miroku followed. Sesshomaru muttered something about "throwing up, barrel of laughs", and he, Rin, and Jaken ran off. Jakotsu skipped out of the room to watch the mayhem.
"Mmmmm...this is so good, Kagome. Much better than the last batch you had," a satisfied Inuyasha said between slurps of his precious ramen. The confusion had left the poor hanyou alone in the kitchen, which he had yet to notice.
"Psst...hee hee hee, hiya, doggy poopy."
"Hmm?"
"Someone get some water!"
"Calm down, boy! That'll make her mad!"
"Who cares? Let her sleep forever."
"YOU SHUT UP!"
Shippou waved a fan over Kagome's face as her unconscious body rested on the couch. Myouga hovered above her, trying to think of a way to wake her up.
'LIGHTBULB'
"Aha. I know just the thing." Myouga floated down and landed on Kagome's neck. He begin to "suck" at her skin. Kikyou cringed. "Oohh..."
'slap'
Kagome lightly moved her hand to the side, slapping Myouga off her. A faint, "Works every time," could be heard as he fell to the carpeted floor. Kagome woke up then, rubbing at her neck.
"Damn Myouga, why ya' always gotta be biting people..." Kagome muttered. Shippou cried happily and jumped into Kagome's arms. "Yay, you're okay!"
"Heh, of course I am. I just fainted, that's all. Speaking of which..." Kagome's face darkened. "Who knows about THAT?"
"Miroku-sama knows!" Shippou answered. "He sent Kaede-baba in that closet with your granpa when we played 'Spin the Bottle'!"
Kagome clenched her fists as her teeth chattered. "M-Miroku...god damn you...and he did this right in front of you?"
"Why not? They were just going in to have tea."
"TO HAVE TEA?! 'THE HELL?....augh...." Kagome tramped towards the stairs to find Miroku. The others followed in earnest.
It was about 10 or so minutes later. Sesshomaru had came back downstairs, looking for his bro. "Inuyasha? Little bro? You in here?"
A pile of empty ramen cans littered the floor. But some of them led a trail out to the back door, which Sesshomaru spotted quickly.
"Hello, what's this?" Sesshomaru got on all fours and followed the trail of ramen like a hunting dog. He crawled outside, finding a slightly raised steel ladder leading to the roof. As Sesshomaru started to climb up, he heard two voices singing.
"On the ffffooouurrrtttthhhh dey of Christmas, my tlue love gave t'me..."
"Umm....four cans of ramen, three ramen containers, two ramen packages, and a can of a ramen in a ramen tree!!!"
"You is stooped! She can'ts get you just ramens!"
"Why not? RAMEN IS GOOD FOR YE' HEART AND SOUL! Bwa ha ha..."
*What the hell...* Sesshomaru thought. *Sounds like a bunch of drunkards.* Now Sesshomaru was really curious. He began climbing faster. At the end of his journey up, he received yet another surprise for the evening.
"JINGLE BELLS, WE BOTH SMELL, SESSHY ATE AN EGG! MIROKU PEED IN HIS PANTS, AND SANGO GOT SOME PLAY! HEY!"
Sesshomaru's mouth dropped open, hitting the roof top with a thud. Inuyasha and Kouga sat at the top of it all, one of their arms along the other one's shoulder. Cases of beer were piled around them, along with a few cans of ramen. Both youkais were drunk, but Kouga much more than Inuyasha. The two looked like old drinking buddies as they sang while swinging around beer mugs.
"B-brother! You've become wasted!" Inuyasha grinned when he saw Sesshomaru. "LOOK, KOUGA-KUN! IT'S THE DEVIL MAN I TOLD YOU ABOUT!"
Kouga laughed insanely. "By jove, you is right! I must slice it of its head and mount it on me wall!" Kouga jumped down, aiming a drowsy kick at Sesshomaru's head.
"Waaahhh..." Luckily, Kouga had tried to kick far too early, and he fell flat on his feet before he was even a meter in front of Sesshomaru. He began crying pathetically. "Darns it, darns it! Now me coalection is incompleteded!"
Inuyasha stood up as he poured another can of beer into his mug. "Don't fret, Kouga-kun! There's always next semester!"
"YOU IS RIGHT AGAIN! I WILL CATCH THE GREAT SESSHOMARU-MON NEXT SEASON!"
The two started dancing around and sang again. "GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL, POKEMON!!"
Sesshomaru's face was drawing a blank while Inuyasha and Kouga danced a circle around him. He tried to analyze what was going on.
*Okay, let me go through this....apparently, Kouga stumbled upon my bro while we were all upstairs, convinced him to drink with him, and led him up here. So now, Kouga and my brother are stoned and screwed up.*
"............Is there space for one more, dudes?"
"JOIN US, M'LAD, JOIN US!" Inuyasha exclaimed. Kouga tossed Sesshomaru a beer can. The white-haired dog demon grinned and tore the top off, proceeding to gulp it down in a couple sips.
"Aaaah! More! I want more, now!!!" Sesshomaru yelled happily. Now he would really get to have fun, according to him. According to Kagome....well, probably not.
"I'm going to be drunk for the first time in my life! Oh, happy day!!"
"BLECH!"
The rest of the party watched outside one of the bathrooms as disgusting noises came from it. Kagome wrinkled her nose. "That's gross..."
"Hey now, that's my bathroom...they're gonna make it all icky," Souta complained.
"PLEH!"
"Careful, careful! Don't splatter everything!" (A/N: Augh...I know I'm gonna get flamed for this _)
"Sssshhhuttt uu-uup! TLECH!"
"AUGH! YOU'RE GETTING IT ON ME!!"
"GOOD! YECCHH!"
"SANGO!!!!!"
Jakotsu laughed hysterically. He ran to the doorknob and pulled at it. "I wanna see her barf! Open the door, now!!!!"
Kikyou grabbed Jakotsu by the collar and threw him into the wall. "Why you would want to see that is beyond me..." Jakotsu laughed silently before losing consciousness.
"Hey, hurry up! I have to pee!" Souta exclaimed as he bounced around. Just then, the doorknob clicked and turned. Miroku walked out, wiping himself with a towel. "Kid, you don't wanna pee in there."
"But~"
"You DON'T wanna pee in there," Miroku said more forcefully. As he stepped out of the way, a groaning Sango staggered out.
"If anyone mentions Spin the Bottle ever again this evening, please, shoot me..."
Jakotsu saluted. "Yes, mam'!" Kikyou twitched as she glared at him. "Go back to sleep..."
Kagome shook her head as she glanced in at the bathroom. "What an awful mess..." She pointed at Kikyou. "You, get someone to clean this up. I'm having a word with these two..." Kagome grabbed Miroku and Sango by the ears and dragged them downstairs, despite their protesting.
Kikyou put a hand to her chin. She looked into the bathroom, immediately pulling her head out in disgust. "Revolting..." Kikyou reached down and grabbed Jaken by the head.
"What is she doing, we wonders? Why does she put pain on our noggins, precious?" Kikyou tapped him on the head, wondering if anyone was even home.
"....clean this up." With that said, Kikyou tossed Jaken into the bathroom and closed the door. Jaken pounded on the door as she walked away.
"Gaaahh! Evil, nasty mikos lock Jaken away! WAAAAHHHH, JAKEN IS SCARRED FOR LIFE! NASTY, NASTY MESS, PRECIOUS!!!"
"Idiot," Kikyou muttered as she walked away. Jakotsu began laughing again.
"YOU LET MY GRANPA' PLAY SPIN-THE-BOTTLE?!!"
Miroku looked at the ground with a guilty expression. The three sat in the living room. Miroku and Sango on the couch, and Kagome in front of them. "Yes..."
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! JII-CHAN IS JUST AS LECHEROUS AS YOU, IF NOT MORE!" Kagome exclaimed. She stopped suddenly to think about what she just said. "I TAKE THAT BACK, YOU ARE STILL THE KING OF LECHERISM, NO DOUBT!"
Miroku frowned while Sango held in a laugh. Kagome glared at her. "And YOU let him let Jii-chan play. You're as much responsible."
Miroku frowned even more. "You ain't yellin' at her...."
Kagome tossed her hands into the air. "Just forget it! I'll go get them out of there, right now!!"
'THUMP THUMP THUMP'
The three froze. A thumping noise was coming from the roof. "W-what was that?" Sango whispered.
"How should I know, it's outside!" Kagome said through clenched teeth. Miroku lifted his staff up and pointed at the point the noise came. After a moment, the sound moved, and Miroku followed it. He came to a stop at the front door.
"Ssshhh...it could be a burglar..." Miroku whispered. He edged over to the front door and peered through the eye hole.
"Well?"
"I don't see anyone. I need to get a closer look," Miroku said as he opened the door. He stepped onto the welcome mat and looked around as the cold air blew into the house.
"H-hurry up, it's ch-chilly out there," Sango said with chattering teeth. Miroku sighed. "Everything appears normal. Probably just a bird on the roof..."
"JA JA JAAAAAAANNNNN!!!"
"KKIYAAHH!!!" Miroku screamed as he fell to the ground in shock. Sango and Kagome ran to the front door. "Oh my, houshi-sama...."
'PIFF'
A very pleasant looking Inuyasha landed on top of Miroku. He smiled with a wide grin. "HEEELLLOOOO!!!"
"I-Inuyasha? That was you on the roof?" Kagome questioned him. "What were you doing up there?"
"Oh, we had lots of fun, Kagome-chan!"
Kagome stepped back in surprise. "K-Kagome-chan?!" Inuyasha nodded. "Uh huh! Weee!!" Inuyasha slid into the house and landed on his hands. He started walking on his hands.
"H-he called me Kagome-"chan"...." Kagome said. "Aye, he's never done that before." Sango agreed. Miroku found the situation amusing. "What on earth are you doing, Inuyasha?"
"I'm doing tricks! See? Beg, Inuyasha!" Inuyasha immediately jumped on all fours and started begging. "Good! Now play dead!" Inuyasha fell to the ground and pretended to be dead. "Good me! I deserve a treat!"
"Eh...." Miroku sweated nervously. "Inuyasha, a-are you..."
Inuyasha scampered around the room on all fours. "We had so much fun, Kouga- kun is so much fun!" Kagome froze at this. "K-K-Kouga??!!"
As if on cue, Sesshomaru and Kouga jumped down at the front door. "WE'RE HERE!"
"AUUUGGGH! YOU'RE DRUNK!!!" Kagome exclaimed. "You're all drunk!!"
"Aw, Kagome-chan, drunk is such a strong word," Inuyasha said as his tongue rolled out of his mouth. "Think of it as us being physically deprived of our sense of reason!"
"BUT THAT'S WHAT IT IS!!" Kagome explained. Inuyasha put a hand to his forehead. "Really? I did not know that..."
"I KNEWS!" Kouga exclaimed. "La de la de da!!" Kouga grabbed the nearby Sango and tossed her into the wall without warning.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??!!"
"Dancin'! Dance wit' Kouga!" Kouga grabbed Sango again and began spinning her around. "WWWAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" As Kouga did so, he accidently bumped into the big boom box, turning it on. Souta's anime CD was still in, but it went to a different song. It was the Tenkaichi Gohan song, just perfect for the mood our group was in right now.
Suddenly, Inuyasha looked upstairs. "OH MY GOD! I sense a jewel shard, Sesshy!"
"Holy Tetsusaiga, Inu-kun! You're right!!"
Inuyasha pointed to no particular direction. "Come, to the Shikon Cave, and to the Hanyou-mobile!" Inuyasha and Sesshomaru ran right into a wall. Completely oblivious, they kept smashing into it over and over again.
"HOUSHI-SAMA, HELP MEEEEEE!!!" Sango pleaded as Kouga chased her up the walls, literally. Sango held onto the ceiling fan for dear life as Kouga jumped up at her.
"Comes down, m-m-m-misses lady man! I feels perky tonight!" Kouga laughed as he tried to grab Sango by the legs.
Miroku was standing by the switch that turned the fan on. "Sango, jump down!"
Willing to try anything, Sango jumped, just as Kouga lunged. Kouga slammed into the fan. The sleeve of his shirt got caught on one of the blades. Miroku took the opportunity to flick the switch.
"WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH!!!" Kouga screamed in a silly way as he spun around and around. Eventually, he got pulled into the fan completely and was thrown out like a rag doll. He landed on top of the consistent Inuyasha and Sesshomaru.
"Woo hoo! I is streakin'!!" Kouga exclaimed when he noticed that most of his clothing was torn up. He quickly tore off the rest of his clothes and ran around screaming with joy. Eventually, he ran upstairs.
"AAAAHHH!!!" Sango and Kagome covered their eyes, while Miroku was laughing his head off. At that time, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru sprang to action.
"Holy youkai, Inu-kun! That madman Kouga is going MAD....and he's a MAN!"
Inuyasha gasped. "By the hairs on our father's back, you're right, Sesshy! Come now! Forget the Hanyou-mobile, we'll just take...THE ELEVATOR!"
Miroku rolled on the floor in laughter, tears streaming down his face like two rapid waterfalls. Kagome and Sango stared blankly at the two dog demons as Sesshomaru suddenly grabbed Inuyasha.
'FLING'
"GOING UP!" Sesshomaru tossed Inuyasha into the air. He plowed right through the ceiling. Sesshomaru waved his hands wildly at the others in the room, then jumped up as well.
"WA HA HA HA!!! OH HO HO! BWA HA HA HA HA HA, OW!!!" Miroku rubbed his head as Sango put Hiraikotsu away. "That's not funny! It's absurd!"
Miroku wiped his tears away as he stood up. Kagome groaned. "Well it can't be helped. I'm sure they've finished all the beer...so they'll sober up eventually."
"YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Came the screams of the other guests upstairs. Kagome gulped and coughed nervously. "I hope."
A/N: Inu's drunk! Sesshy's drunk! Kouga's drunk! We're all drunk, HEY!! ^_^ lol, don't worry, I'm fine. It's just so fine to write drunken dialogue.
Inuyasha: I WANNA WRITE THE NEXT CHAPPIE!!!!! ^_^
NO! Drunkards are forbidden to narrate! ~_O
Inuyasha: Please?! Pwetty pwease with big fwuffy spwinkles on top? I'll be a good puppy-wuppy!!
*ignores the drunken Inu* So are you ready for the next chapter too? Then start CLICKING, and I shall deliver! ^_^
Inuyasha: ....Please?
Next time on "Party at the Higurashi's!": It would seem Kouga has finally sobered up, but what of Inu and Sesshy? Uh oh, Inuyasha's ever annoying conscience taking physical form?! O_o The problem is, Inuyasha's the only one who can see him! Will Inuyasha ever sober up? Will Kagome be able to handle anymore of Kikyou? Will I ever shut up? ^_^ Find out next time!