Disclaimer: Don't own LOTR. Dr.Tolkien does. American Hi-Fi owns 'Flavor of
the Week', and I own the re-made lyrics!
THE LORD OF THE DANCE!!!
Celeborn backed up and ran forward.
BONK!
"OWW!"
He forgot to unbolt the closet doors. So he flicks the latch open, runs back, then runs forward sliding out on his knees! The elves begin to play whatever song they felt like playing.
Celeborn dusted himself off quickly and began to sing and dance.
"She just complains the whole week long
As if everything is wrong
"The world is changed,
And now we're doomed 'cuz the Water says it so"
And now I'm tired of all this
If I could only have one wish…
Then it would be to have her DIE!"
The guitars played louder as more Elves joined Celeborn in the dance/chorus!
"My wife there, she don't know
How to just shut the heck up!
She's been there for too long
I wish that she would stop staring
She's got to get up and MOVE ON!"
Then the other dancing Elves went away and Celeborn got his solo verse back.
"Just every night, she'll go away
And predict about our death
She's dressed in white
And the mirror's full
She's connected to the earth-
And she's stays up all night long
While muttering the same old words-"
Then someone opened the closet door and sang
"I amar presta aen!"
Celeborn whipped around. All the playing and dancing Elves went away and hid under the bed and a couple leaped out the window. Why did they go away?
"Because I'M HERE!" boomed Galadriel as she looked up at the last line. She turned to Celeborn who was now sitting on the ground cross-legged and wishing to himself that he would evaporate on the spot.
"Now…"said Galadriel. "I'll let you say your…pitiful…stupid…worthless line before I beat the living fluff out of you."
Celeborn gulped and went to the window. Then he shouted
"I AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!"
Everyone in Arda heard-
"HAHAHAHA!" cackled Celeborn-
HEY! DON'T INTERRUPT THE NARRORATOR!
"Why? You say the same thing every chapter!"
I DON'T CARE! THAT'S THE POINT! NOW SHUT UP SO THAT I CAN SAY THE LINE, AND GALADRIEL CAN KILL YOU!
"Nuh-uh! Galadriel isn't going to get me!"
He leapt on the window sill.
"HAHAHAHA! GOOD-BYE!"
He fell over backwards out of the window. No one saw him ever ever again! MWAHAHAHA!
"HEY! That's not what happened!" hollered Celeborn out from nowhere.
….We're screwing this up again…oh well.
Everyone in Arda heard him.
Gimli, in his NEW home of Moria [he was drunk when he decided to move in, and he still is drunk so that's why he's still in Moria] heard him, even through the giant walls and all those chambers and tombs and halls and bridges and-
"OKAY! OKAY!" shouted Gimli. "We get your point!"
He ran really really really fast, all the way to the Bridge of Khazad Dum! Then, he said
"I, GIMLI, SON OF GLOIN, AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!"
From the bottom of the bridge, the Balrog started playing a piano……….
THE LORD OF THE DANCE!!!
Celeborn backed up and ran forward.
BONK!
"OWW!"
He forgot to unbolt the closet doors. So he flicks the latch open, runs back, then runs forward sliding out on his knees! The elves begin to play whatever song they felt like playing.
Celeborn dusted himself off quickly and began to sing and dance.
"She just complains the whole week long
As if everything is wrong
"The world is changed,
And now we're doomed 'cuz the Water says it so"
And now I'm tired of all this
If I could only have one wish…
Then it would be to have her DIE!"
The guitars played louder as more Elves joined Celeborn in the dance/chorus!
"My wife there, she don't know
How to just shut the heck up!
She's been there for too long
I wish that she would stop staring
She's got to get up and MOVE ON!"
Then the other dancing Elves went away and Celeborn got his solo verse back.
"Just every night, she'll go away
And predict about our death
She's dressed in white
And the mirror's full
She's connected to the earth-
And she's stays up all night long
While muttering the same old words-"
Then someone opened the closet door and sang
"I amar presta aen!"
Celeborn whipped around. All the playing and dancing Elves went away and hid under the bed and a couple leaped out the window. Why did they go away?
"Because I'M HERE!" boomed Galadriel as she looked up at the last line. She turned to Celeborn who was now sitting on the ground cross-legged and wishing to himself that he would evaporate on the spot.
"Now…"said Galadriel. "I'll let you say your…pitiful…stupid…worthless line before I beat the living fluff out of you."
Celeborn gulped and went to the window. Then he shouted
"I AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!"
Everyone in Arda heard-
"HAHAHAHA!" cackled Celeborn-
HEY! DON'T INTERRUPT THE NARRORATOR!
"Why? You say the same thing every chapter!"
I DON'T CARE! THAT'S THE POINT! NOW SHUT UP SO THAT I CAN SAY THE LINE, AND GALADRIEL CAN KILL YOU!
"Nuh-uh! Galadriel isn't going to get me!"
He leapt on the window sill.
"HAHAHAHA! GOOD-BYE!"
He fell over backwards out of the window. No one saw him ever ever again! MWAHAHAHA!
"HEY! That's not what happened!" hollered Celeborn out from nowhere.
….We're screwing this up again…oh well.
Everyone in Arda heard him.
Gimli, in his NEW home of Moria [he was drunk when he decided to move in, and he still is drunk so that's why he's still in Moria] heard him, even through the giant walls and all those chambers and tombs and halls and bridges and-
"OKAY! OKAY!" shouted Gimli. "We get your point!"
He ran really really really fast, all the way to the Bridge of Khazad Dum! Then, he said
"I, GIMLI, SON OF GLOIN, AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!"
From the bottom of the bridge, the Balrog started playing a piano……….