They were in the kitchen, now.
Frankly, the thing with Ken's (soccer) balls just hadn't been going according to plan. Yohji wanted to agonize him, and hell, it just wasn't torture if he was just going to pass out when it started!
So they had moved to the kitchen.
Omi was still bound, only now he'd been allowed to sit on a chair at the kitchen table. Ken, on the other hand, was gagged and tied to a chair. However, he wasn't fortunate enough to be sitting upright. Oh, no. Yohji had tipped the chair over so that its back, and for this reason, Ken's, were on the ground.
It's also worth mentioning that he'd given Ken a full makeover, including eye-shadow, blush, bright red lipstick, and a very stylish hat.
It would probably be worth wondering just exactly why Yohji had so much makeup (and such a stylish hat) laying around, but, of course, only his hairdresser knows for sure. And, as you've probably noticed if you've been reading along this whole time, she was occupied with other things at the moment. But I digress.
Yohji himself was standing at the kitchen counter, wearing a lab coat. And goggles. Notably, the goggles were Ken's. Life's kinda ironic like that, sometimes.
Anyway, Yohji was standing at the counter in a lab coat and Ken's goggles, mixing one of the most hideously horrifying substances known to man:
Bikini Wax.
It would probably be worth wondering just exactly why Yohji had bikini wax laying around, but—ahh, screw it. I'll let you conjecture about that on your own time.
Yohji turned slowly to face Ken and Omi, and pulled a butter knife out of his lab-coat pocket. Ever so slowly he stirred the foul concoction, and then removed the knife once more, letting it drip back into its container.
Ken looked absolutely horrified. Seeing this, Yohji broke into maniacal laughter. Again.
"Now comes the ultimate suffering for you, Hidaka Ken!" he said shrilly, crossing the room to where Ken was tied up.
Omi summoned up the courage to speak once more.
"Uhh… Yohji? Don't those things come with little sticks to apply it with? Why are you using a butter knife?"
"Silence, peon!" Yohji shrieked. He was getting way, way too into the mad scientist thing—he had even taken the bathing cap off again, giving him sort of a young-Albert-Einstein-gone-terribly-terribly-wrong look. Sort of.
Anyway, it got Omi to shut up. Yohji turned to his victim once more.
"Ohh, Kenken. Where to start?" Yohji asked sweetly—and rather rhetorically, since Ken was still gagged. "Your eyebrows? Maybe your head?"
"Well, if it's bikini wax, like the bottle says—"Omi started, helpfully. He stopped, however, at the violent shaking of Ken's head.
Yohji gave him a look, and then shook his head, turning back to Ken once more.
"You know what, Kenken? I think, since you've got all this pretty makeup on, I should just start with your legs. That way you'll look absolutely stunning in the cute little dress I've picked out for you to wear to city park. Remember?—I'm going to tie you to a tree."
Ken stared Yohji defiantly in the eyes, as if to say, "Kudou Yohji, you will never get away with this dastardly deed!"
"Ruhro Rohri," he said through the gag, "Rou ih heffar geh awuh wis sis dasfarly reed!"
"…What did you just call me?" Yohji asked, because unlike some exceptionally lucky people, he didn't get a spiffy, all-knowing narrator to help him figure out the dialogue.
Omi shook his head in pity. Omi, see, had a lot of experience with gags, and understanding what was being said through them. It would probably be best if you didn't ask why, but let's just say that Nagi might be able to clue you in—if you survived asking him, anyway.
"Never mind," Yohji said stubbornly, putting the knife back into the wax and pulling out a large glob of it. With his other hand, he pulled Ken's pant leg up to the knee. Ken continued to look defiant and brave—he had been a wuss with the soccer balls, after all, but he wouldn't let Yohji intimidate him any longer!
"Well, Ken," Yohji chirped. "Better say 'bye-bye' to all of your body hair!" And then he proceeded to spread the wax on Ken's leg like mustard on a sandwich.
Yohji hummed happily as he did this, and then sat back to let it dry. After a few minutes, he reached for the end of it, ready to yank…
"WAIT!" cried a voice from the doorway. Yohji looked up. Ken looked up. Omi looked up.
Aya stood in front of them. His hair had been given blonde highlights, and it seemed to glitter all over… as if someone had unleashed a preschool art class on his head. Where his eartails had once blown free—much like a herd of wild horses—they were now confined in, of all things, two suede straps, which ended in beads, and feathers, giving him kind of a Native American Princess look (and reinforcing the herd of wild horses simile above).
In short, Aya was an example of how, sometimes, fashion goes too far.
But, the most notable thing about Aya was the bottle of conditioner he held out in his right hand, wielding the expensive hair product almost as though it were Excalibur.
Yohji squealed delightedly, ripped the goggles off, leaped over Ken, and knocked Aya over in a frenzy of excitement. In this same frenzy of excitement he straddled the now prone Aya's chest, grabbed a hold of his face and planted several delighted kisses on his cheeks.
"Aya, Aya, I LOVE YOU. You're my savior, my absolute savior!" he cried ecstatically, kissing Aya again. …Suddenly he seemed to remember where he was, and just who he was kissing so exuberantly. He cleared his throat, took the much-needed conditioner from Aya's hand, and moved away from him.
This didn't stop him from squealing happily again as he walked away. Or from jumping into the air and clicking his heels together on the way out.
"I'll be in the shower, if anyone needs me!" he called out gaily.
Aya sat back up, slightly dazed, and surveyed the kitchen around him.
Ken, tied to chair. Wearing makeup. Something odd and yellowish on his leg. Look of desperation in his eyes.
Omi, tied, but not to chair. Otherwise apparently unharmed. Look of intense relief in his eyes.
"Aya," he said, "I'm so happy to see you that I'm not even going to ask what the hell happened to your hair."
"That's nice of you, Omi," Aya said, getting to his feet. He quickly untied first Ken, and then Omi.
"You have no idea how happy I am to see you, Ayaaaaaaa!" Ken cried piteously, grabbing a hold of the other man's leg. "I almost died. I swear, as long as I live, I'll never steal conditioner again!" He sniffled, then, and looked up at Aya with huge, puppy-brown eyes.
"Don't tell that to me," Aya said coldly, and then… smiled. The feeling of fear returned to Ken's heart at Aya's next words.
"Remember, Ken-kun, you still owe me a favor…"
Notes: CLIFFHANGER! D
By the way, I don't know how waxing actually works, never having done it, myself. I apologize for any inaccuracies in Yohji's, er, "technique."
^.^;;; This also had some ACTUAL shounen-ai hintings, unlike any of the other chapters. They were… pretty pathetic, though. So I apologize. This really isn't going to be terribly shounen-ai-ish, as I think I mentioned earlier. You can pretend, though, if you want. Or you can ask Yohji's hairdresser. Either one works. ^_^
'Til next time!
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