Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings. It belongs
to JRR Tolkien. 'Walk Like an Egyptian' is owned by Bangles.
Author's Note:
Sorry for the long stall. I'm going easy with this one, writing my other two... er... fanfiction novels.
The Lord of the Dance
Treebeard didn't need a microphone to project his voice as his ultra-bass voice boomed his tune surprisingly fast for an Ent. His fellow Ents danced behind him.
"All the old trees in the forests," sang Treebeard,
"They do the wood dance don't you know,
If they move too quick,"
"Hoom hum hoom!" sang the background Ents.
"They're burning down screaming, 'Oh Eru, no!'
All the wildmen down by Anduin,
They got the money on a bet,
Old Tree-herder-dudes.
"Hoom hum hoom!"
"They break your towns without a fret." All the Ents nodded in memory of their attack on Isengard.
"Foriegn types with the strange wing-hats say," sang two random Ents.
"Booraroom hoom," went two other Ents, "Booraroom hoom!"
"Walk like a Tree-herder," they all sang simultaneously. The force of the mega-bass voices combined took down a few squirrels that were listening in on the music. Their petty little figures twitched painfully on the earth.
Treebeard went back to his verses. "The dwarvish people will take their kings,
They spend their gold and ask for more,
They've got their ways,"
"Hoom hum hoom!"
"They'll sweep those gems right off the floor,
All the elf kids so sick of books," Some Ents pretended to look disgusted at this point.
"They talk too much, forever,"
"That's why they call themselves the Quendi," muttered one Ent to his fellow. "Keep blabbering 'bout the stars and seasons."
"But Great Journeys begin," sang Treebeard over the other's comment.
"Hoom hum hoom!"
"They're walking like a Tree-herder!"
"All the orcs in the Dark Towers say," sang the first pair of random Ents.
"Booraroom hoom," sang the other pair, "Booraroom hoom!"
"Walk like a Tree-herder," they all went again. More squirrels dropped paralyzed out of the trees.
There was an intermission of music, including the Ents dancing in lines and in synchronism. They danced side to side, back to front, and twirled around in circles, willow leaves swaying with the beat.
"Slide your roots up the road bend your limbs," continued Treebeard, dancing with the others,
"Shift a branch, ignore the crank,
Life is hard you know,"
"Hoom hum hoom!"
"So smush an orc at Orthanc!
If you want to find all the wargs,
They're hanging out in some pawn shop,
They sing and dance,"
"Hoom hum hoom!"
"Chase after Men and eat old socks,
All the Rohirrim ride a horse,
The Istari call the Black Riders,
And the Silvan know,"
"Hoom hum hoom!"
"They speak and walk Tree-herder!"
"All the wargs in the pawn shop say," the first duo sang again.
"Booraroom hoom," sang the second. "Booraroom hoom!"
"Walk like a Tree-herder..."
Then they all marched off into the even deeper areas of Fangorn, the ending of the song dying away into darkness. But one last call came from the eldest Ent before the tune ended. "I AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!!!"
"Amateurs," spat Ugluk as he picked up an ax to chop down a tree right outside Fangorn forest. "Uruk-hai can do much better than that, can't we boys?"
The Uruk-hai pondered this for a moment before nodding their heads and agreeing in rough, riotous voices.
"Then... ahem..." Ugluk inhaled deeply before screaming, "I, UGLUK, AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!"
Suddenly, the lights dimmed low and a spotlight shot on him. He took the offered microphone from an orc and shot a charming, yellow-fanged smile at his fellows that were now sitting at multiple tables covered in white table-cloths with softly lit candles on each surface. There were a few Rohirrim sitting at the tables, and one of them was a Mary-Sue that had fallen in love with Eomer that decided to chase after him. Seeing the Uruk-hai's spotlight smile, she screamed excitedly and put a hand to her heart before fainting.
"Thank you, thank you," grinned Ugluk, fingering the microphone as an orc played a scale on a grand piano that appeared behind him. Ugluk took a breath to begin the song, but he hesitated. He looked down at the microphone; oh, how puny it was. He stared at it. Then, he chucked it over his shoulder and whipped out a megaphone.
"LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!"
The next chapter is coming very soon, I promise you. Heh heh heh...
Author's Note:
Sorry for the long stall. I'm going easy with this one, writing my other two... er... fanfiction novels.
The Lord of the Dance
Treebeard didn't need a microphone to project his voice as his ultra-bass voice boomed his tune surprisingly fast for an Ent. His fellow Ents danced behind him.
"All the old trees in the forests," sang Treebeard,
"They do the wood dance don't you know,
If they move too quick,"
"Hoom hum hoom!" sang the background Ents.
"They're burning down screaming, 'Oh Eru, no!'
All the wildmen down by Anduin,
They got the money on a bet,
Old Tree-herder-dudes.
"Hoom hum hoom!"
"They break your towns without a fret." All the Ents nodded in memory of their attack on Isengard.
"Foriegn types with the strange wing-hats say," sang two random Ents.
"Booraroom hoom," went two other Ents, "Booraroom hoom!"
"Walk like a Tree-herder," they all sang simultaneously. The force of the mega-bass voices combined took down a few squirrels that were listening in on the music. Their petty little figures twitched painfully on the earth.
Treebeard went back to his verses. "The dwarvish people will take their kings,
They spend their gold and ask for more,
They've got their ways,"
"Hoom hum hoom!"
"They'll sweep those gems right off the floor,
All the elf kids so sick of books," Some Ents pretended to look disgusted at this point.
"They talk too much, forever,"
"That's why they call themselves the Quendi," muttered one Ent to his fellow. "Keep blabbering 'bout the stars and seasons."
"But Great Journeys begin," sang Treebeard over the other's comment.
"Hoom hum hoom!"
"They're walking like a Tree-herder!"
"All the orcs in the Dark Towers say," sang the first pair of random Ents.
"Booraroom hoom," sang the other pair, "Booraroom hoom!"
"Walk like a Tree-herder," they all went again. More squirrels dropped paralyzed out of the trees.
There was an intermission of music, including the Ents dancing in lines and in synchronism. They danced side to side, back to front, and twirled around in circles, willow leaves swaying with the beat.
"Slide your roots up the road bend your limbs," continued Treebeard, dancing with the others,
"Shift a branch, ignore the crank,
Life is hard you know,"
"Hoom hum hoom!"
"So smush an orc at Orthanc!
If you want to find all the wargs,
They're hanging out in some pawn shop,
They sing and dance,"
"Hoom hum hoom!"
"Chase after Men and eat old socks,
All the Rohirrim ride a horse,
The Istari call the Black Riders,
And the Silvan know,"
"Hoom hum hoom!"
"They speak and walk Tree-herder!"
"All the wargs in the pawn shop say," the first duo sang again.
"Booraroom hoom," sang the second. "Booraroom hoom!"
"Walk like a Tree-herder..."
Then they all marched off into the even deeper areas of Fangorn, the ending of the song dying away into darkness. But one last call came from the eldest Ent before the tune ended. "I AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!!!"
"Amateurs," spat Ugluk as he picked up an ax to chop down a tree right outside Fangorn forest. "Uruk-hai can do much better than that, can't we boys?"
The Uruk-hai pondered this for a moment before nodding their heads and agreeing in rough, riotous voices.
"Then... ahem..." Ugluk inhaled deeply before screaming, "I, UGLUK, AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!"
Suddenly, the lights dimmed low and a spotlight shot on him. He took the offered microphone from an orc and shot a charming, yellow-fanged smile at his fellows that were now sitting at multiple tables covered in white table-cloths with softly lit candles on each surface. There were a few Rohirrim sitting at the tables, and one of them was a Mary-Sue that had fallen in love with Eomer that decided to chase after him. Seeing the Uruk-hai's spotlight smile, she screamed excitedly and put a hand to her heart before fainting.
"Thank you, thank you," grinned Ugluk, fingering the microphone as an orc played a scale on a grand piano that appeared behind him. Ugluk took a breath to begin the song, but he hesitated. He looked down at the microphone; oh, how puny it was. He stared at it. Then, he chucked it over his shoulder and whipped out a megaphone.
"LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!"
The next chapter is coming very soon, I promise you. Heh heh heh...