Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine. Too bad.
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7. Dreaming
**************
The preparations for the ball were finished, and Ginny excused herself from the newly decorated hall to go and dress for the ball.
An hour later she was done, and she waited by the windows in her room, having opened them to the cool night air. A flash of far off lightning lit the black sky momentarily, and she heard the warning rumble of distant thunder.
A rushing breeze spilled across her heated cheeks, and she closed her eyes to savor the crisp, clean scent of the fall air.
She opened her eyes slowly when a sharp, impatient knock sounded on her door, and she took a deep, steadying breath before walking to it and opening it.
"Good evening," she said cordially, offering up her friendliest smile.
The man stood glaring down his nose at her with a familiar sour look on his face, looking very much as though he'd been force - fed an entire orchard of lemons.
Ginny felt her smile disappear with the force of a suddenly deflated balloon.
Obviously friendly just wasn't going to cut it with this man…
Ginny resisted the urge to roll her eyes – the robes he wore were identical to the ones he wore everyday, with the exception of a bit of ornate silver trim at the collar, wrists and hem. At least he appeared to have bothered pulling a brush through his hair. It looked a bit less – stringy.
He scowled at her as he caught her running her eyes over him.
She took his reluctantly offered arm with a sigh. She was hopeless. Even with that awful expression, she still thought he was beautiful.
"How are you feeling, tonight, Severus?"
He frowned. "Who appointed you my nursemaid, exactly?"
She sent him a dirty look.
"I was only curious. Just trying to help –"
He snorted. "You? Don't think I've forgotten how clumsy you were in my class, always breaking things, tripping over yourself – indeed, kindly warn me then, the next time you set out to help me, so that I might have the providence to take cover."
"Did anyone ever tell you that you have a way of speaking that makes a person feel like a useless, brainless fool?"
"I'll take that as a compliment," was all he said, as they continued along the corridor.
"Aren't you going to tell me how lovely I look?" She at last teased, grinning up at him.
"Fishing about for compliments, Virginia?" He slid her a dark glance for the corner of his eye.
"Of course, I'm a woman…if I don't ask, how else am I ever going to get any?"
"You're trying to tell me that men don't give you compliments."
"Not really – I don't think red - orange frizzy hair and freckles are terribly popular right now," she replied lightly.
Severus surprised her by stopping in the corridor, and turning to face her, running critical dark eyes over her.
She felt uncomfortable under the intense scrutiny. She looked down at her slightly worn, antique gold colored dress robes with a sigh. "What? Is there something in my teeth?"
He smiled, and it felt as though the sun itself were shining down on her for the briefest moment, and then it was gone, replaced by a familiar scowl.
"Any man would be pleased to have a lady as lovely as you on his arm," he stated gruffly, sounding anything but pleased.
Ginny bit her lip and then smiled. "I'm not lovely, really – but it's kind of you to lie."
"I wasn't lying…your hair is quite eye – catching, and your skin is unblemished –"
She shook her head and laughed. She guessed that to him, those were compliments!
"My skin isn't unblemished – I've been trying to get rid of these horrid freckles forever."
His hand lifted, and his fingertips brushed her cheek slightly, before he dropped his hand and moved away.
"Leave your freckles be, Ginny – as the saying goes, perfection is boring."
Ginny took his arm again, her cheeks feeling warm.
Had there ever been any doubt in her mind that she didn't want to spend her entire life loving this man?
She felt his arm tense beneath her hand, when they approached the great hall.
"Afraid Bertie might ask a dance of you?" Ginny couldn't help teasing.
He didn't bother answering, but he paused in his step, and she thought he looked as skittish as a high – strung Hippogriff.
"Severus," she said gently, trying to get his attention.
He looked down at her at last, swallowing.
"What are you so nervous about? I've seen you at the balls before remember? You never looked so…so ill with nerves."
A small bitter smile curved his lips. "That's because I always kept myself busy by chasing students out of the bushes outside," he said dryly.
Ginny laughed softly.
"Professor McGonagall mentioned you'd had a bad experience at a ball here, once – "
"It wasn't at the ball, exactly…but during," he began reluctantly. "It was back when I was still a student here, see, and Sirius Black…"
***************
Ginny listened to his story carefully, cajoling him along when he paused, glaring back when he snapped at her and called her meddlesome…
"Oh, that must have awful for you – you had to have been petrified!"
"I don't mind saying I was – seeing a werewolf for the first time at any age is quite enough to scare the wits out of anyone…not to mention that the only thing between it and I was the length of a tunnel," he drawled darkly.
"I'm glad nothing happened to you," murmured Ginny earnestly, taking his hand.
A passing student unwisely dared a whistle at the sight, and Severus pulled his hand away, sending a fierce glare after the boy.
Ginny ground her teeth and took it again, catching him off guard, and finally dragged him into the darkened hall.
She came to a halt so suddenly that his momentum brought him stumbling into her back, and Ginny lost her balance, and fell forward.
"Whoa!" She yelled, as she felt herself falling, and she clutched at any kind of handhold, but found only air.
A hard arm caught her around the waist, and she was yanked back just before her face would have made contact with the stone floor.
Every thought disappeared from her mind as she felt the entire length of her body pressed impossibly close up against Severus's, and his silky hair brushed her cheek as he bent his head forward to speak to her.
"Are you all right?"
She suppressed a violent shudder, and swallowed hard, trying to get past the fact that the man she'd loved for almost five years was finally touching her, willingly.
"I – I'm okay," she finally got out, resisting the urge to press her temple to his jaw.
"Good, I'm ever so glad to hear it – now get the bloody hell off my foot."
Ginny blinked twice before his harsh, but softly spoken command finally reached her desire-fogged brain.
"Oh – er, sorry, Snape," she tried to say evenly, but even she could hear the tremble in her voice as she stepped away from him, and his strong arm slid from around her waist.
She made herself turn and look up at him, but her breath caught at the sight of him looking down at her intently, almost questioningly, as if something about her had totally perplexed him.
She dared a shaky smile, which he did not return and mumbled something horribly lame about chaperoning before walking off, her cheeks burning.
**************
Severus watched Ginny walk away with a slight frown.
What was wrong with the stupid girl? Her face had been almost as red as her hair. She must have been embarrassed about tripping in front of everyone – what other reason would she have for trembling so in his arms, or looking so flushed and breathless…
It wasn't as if she'd been as affected by his nearness as he had been hers – it was a ridiculous idea, that she found him so attractive it made her nervous…or unbelievably clumsy…
He crossed his arms and narrowed his stare on her thoughtfully as she moved away from him.
Odd, that the girl was so graceless around him – she always he'd been, even in her first year, jumping at the sound of his voice, writing her notes in a nearly indecipherable hand as he stood over her shoulder, continually dropping something or another…and yet to hear it, she was as cool and efficient as a machine out in the field.
When she'd been in his class, he'd thought she was merely being an empty headed child, that she was as intimidated by him as every other student he had.
Severus continued to watch her, fascinated by the unrealistic possibility that perhaps she really had been telling the truth about being in love with him.
He snorted at the thought, making a couple of second years standing nearby jump guiltily, even though they'd been doing absolutely nothing wrong, and quickly move away.
The potions vapors must have finally been pickling his brain.
Still, it was curious…
**************
Ginny saw Bertie, crossing to talk to Severus, and pitied the poor woman for thinking the man would spare her a glance, let alone a kind word.
She could have told her not to bother – she herself had only been trying for the past month!
Ginny leaned against the wall, and let her head fall to one side as she studied him.
What exactly was it about him that she loved so much?
She thought for a moment, and then shook her head – there was no point in going through the list again – she was stuck with the greasy haired git.
The thought made her smile, and her eyes softened as she stared across the room at him, over the heads of the dancing couples.
What wouldn't she give to have him look at her with something besides displeasure or annoyance?
Hell, what wouldn't she give for him to just touch her again, even in a way as simple and innocent as he had when he'd caught her?
Ginny caught his black gaze over Bertie's head, and the power of it made her chest ache…she returned the slightly questioning look with one of her own, and watched as he absently murmured an answer to something Bertie had said, never taking his eyes off hers.
For once she was too caught up in the turmoil of her feelings to get flustered and look away. She saw his hard features soften the slightest bit, and discovered her eyes were tearing up, for no reason at all, really.
"Professor Weasley?"
Ginny dropped her eyes with an effort, and took a deep breath as she looked to whoever had said her name.
"Professor…would you do me the honor?"
She smiled at the seventh year Gryffindor boy who stood before her, looking hopeful. The untidiness of his black hair and the large bright eyes peering at her from behind round rimmed glasses reminded her so much of Harry, she couldn't find it in her heart to say no.
"Of course – but I have to warn you, I can't dance a whit," she confided in an exaggerated whisper that made the boy smile.
"Me either – but I'm game if you are, Professor."
*************
Severus watched Ginny place her hand in the boy's and felt an angry knot twist in his gut.
The boy looked too much like James in this light – and Ginny looked too much like Lily. Far too much like her for his liking.
It hadn't been much of a secret back then that he'd been in love with Lily Evans. It'd been a bit more of a joke, really, one that Black had delighted in torturing him over constantly.
He watched the tall boy look down at Ginny, who was several inches shorter, and laugh at something she said.
The song was a slow one, and he decided then and there that he hated it with a fiery passion.
He barely noticed when Bertie finally gave up trying to talk to him, and walked away in a huff.
Severus found himself walking forward when the boy rested his hand on Ginny's slender hip, intent on giving him a month's worth of detention for something, he didn't know what yet, but for something…
"Ah, Severus! Bertie was looking for you -"
Albus caught him before he reached them, and he almost bit off his tongue trying to keep the frustrated curse on it from escaping.
*************
A forlorn looking bat hung from the back of Dumbledore's chair, and Ginny sighed, scooping the small, furry black creature into her hand as she took her seat behind the teacher's table after her dance.
"What are you looking so lost for little one?" She held the softly squeaking bat in both hands, looking it over for any injuries – but she couldn't find any reason for the poor things sluggishness.
The small fruit bat made a faint chirping noise, not unlike that of a bird, and Ginny smiled at it, feeling the leathery softness of it's wings fluttering against her skin – the bat made no move to escape.
"Dear God, woman, what are you doing with that creature?"
Ginny looked up to see Severus lowering himself into his seat next to her, and her heart gave a painfully excited leap at the sight of him in the darkened hall.
"Well? I believe the bats were meant to lend atmosphere to the surroundings – not as party favors."
She smiled at his dry tone, and watched as the bat scrabbled up her robe sleeve. She lifted her hair and tied it into a careless knotted ponytail so it wouldn't become entangled in it, and watched, amused, as the tiny bat dropped, and dangled upside down from the fabric of her robes.
"He's a loner," she explained, reaching out a finger to rub the bats' fuzzy belly. "He thinks he's too good to hang out with his friends up there."
"He seems to have no problem with you," Severus remarked, watching the bat with distaste.
"Don't you like bats, Snape?" She pushed the tip of a gently tickling wing away from her jaw, and looked over at the dark man sitting beside her.
"I haven't much of a problem with using their wings for potions," he stated coldly as he watched the silky black lump wiggling on her shoulder.
As if the bat had heard and understood, it suddenly squeaked and took flight, disappearing into the mass of bats and eerily lit jack o' lanterns floating overhead.
"You scared the poor thing half to death," chastised Ginny, pulling her hair out of its knot.
She didn't notice his dark eyes tracing the slender curve of her neck as she lifted her hair away, and the tensing of his jaw as she let the shiny, curling mass fall across her shoulders.
Ginny let her gaze flicker over to his just in time to catch him turning his head away.
"You don't care for creatures much, do you? I mean you don't have a pet – or an owl…"
"What use would I have for a pet? Or an owl for that matter? I have no desire to form any attachments,"
"Right," Ginny muttered, drumming her fingernails on the tabletop. "How could you remember to feed a pet, when you can't even remember to eat, yourself?"
"Perhaps you should concern yourself less with my eating habits and more with 'Potter' over there," he snapped rather sourly.
Ginny looked confused. "Oh, you mean Ashley Primmer –" she crooked her head to look around at the tall boy again, and she smiled. "Yes, he does look a lot like Harry,"
" 'Ashley'," Snape snorted, shaking his head. "I believe you've landed yourself another loyal follower, Virginia."
"He's a student," said Ginny, looking insulted by his insinuation.
"And I told you, it's Ginny."
Severus looked like he was doing his best to ignore her. She looked at him closely, her eyes narrowing.
"Oh my God. You're jealous, aren't you?" Her jaw dropped as she stared at him.
He turned his head so fast he very nearly twisted it right off his neck.
"I beg your pardon?"
Ginny grinned, not put off in the slightest by his dangerously soft whisper. "You're jealous."
"Jealous of what, may I ask?"
"Me." The single word came out in an excited squeal.
He looked her up and down insultingly, his distaste for her behavior obvious.
"You certainly are full of interesting theories," he finally sneered nastily, looking away. "You must be dreaming."
"And you're hiding. I know you care for me," she divulged, leaning over to whisper in his ear.
"You're insane."
"I know…I know because of the way your eyes follow me, the way you hesitate after I smile at you…"
"Have you been drinking the wine?"
"I know because of the way your words stumble when I laugh…and though you may not believe it yet – I don't think you could for the world, ever bring yourself to ever hurt me."
Ginny watched his anger slowly build.
This was it – this was the reaction she'd been waiting for…
He slapped his hands flat on the table so loud it made her flinch, and stood up, grabbing her elbow.
"What are you doing?" Ginny swallowed as he pulled her from the hall, his fingers digging bruisingly into the flesh of her arm.
He didn't answer, but continued pulling her along until they reached the main entrance hall, and he let her go near the stairs.
She rubbed her arm, looking up at him with a censuring glance. "That hurt!"
Severus only looked at her coldly.
"I guess that blows your theory about me all to hell, then," he drawled slowly, darkly, one black brow arching.
Ginny shook her head. Her eyes dropped, and she caught sight of his wand slung through the belt clasped around his slim waist.
His strong, agile fingers were slowly caressing the ornately carved handle.
She wondered what it would feel like to have them touching her face again, or stroking her hair…
"You are a most annoying and insolent child," he commented suddenly, his dark eyes glinting. He reached up a hand to rub his temple.
"Headache, my love?"
"Yes – and don't call me that!" He snapped, eyes flashing.
"All right – if you'll stop calling me 'child'", she snapped back.
"Then desist in acting like one, Professor!"
Ginny stared up at him as he loomed over her, looking sinister and dispassionate, and she tried to reign in her rising temper.
"You don't scare me anymore, Severus Snape – I'm not that silly little girl shrinking away from you in your class anymore, so don't think you can intimidate me! I may love you, but I won't stand you trying to treat me as if I were some snake slithering across the toe of your boot!"
"There's little chance of me treating you that way, my dear, I actually care for serpents!"
She felt her face tighten, and then she released a frustrated sob, and promptly burst into tears.
***********
Severus stared at Ginny in horror – she was crying.
It wasn't that he'd never seen her cry before, but what was making him feel so wretched was the fact that he'd made her cry. It had been his fault…
At a loss for what to do, he looked around the hall helplessly, but it was deserted.
She turned away from him, her face buried in her hands, and he felt something akin to panic rise inside his chest.
He knew he should just walk away, and leave her alone, but he couldn't make himself move. He just stared at her in fascinated dismay, and felt every sound of distress she made scrape along his nerves like a dull razor blade.
Ballocks, he thought finally, and resignedly reached out to place a comforting hand on her shoulder.
She bolted suddenly before his hand ever made contact, and he watched, too surprised to say anything, as she picked up the hem of her long robes and ran from the hall out into the night, her sobs echoing behind her.
Severus stood there, contemplating either retreating to his rooms with a bottle and forgetting the whole the night, or going after her.
Thunder sounded in the distance, and he swore.
A moment later he stalked after her with another frustrated curse.
***********
Ginny stood at the top of the stairs leading down to the boat dock, and tried very hard not to smile as she looked out across the moonlit lake.
It was an impressive sight, every bit as much as it had been when she'd first seen it years ago – even more so now, with storm clouds rolling in above the hills.
"Looks every bit like a Halloween night is supposed to, doesn't it?" She said out loud finally, to the man who'd stepped up a few feet behind her.
When he didn't answer, she turned back to him, feeling her hair rippling in the alternately warm and cold wind.
His black robes blended him perfectly into the night, and with the legendary, torch lit castle rising so majestically behind him, the picture they made was one almost straight out of her dreams, the epitome of everything she most wanted in the world.
Almost.
There was, after all, the tiny problem that he didn't care.
'He followed you,' a tiny voice protested, 'he wouldn't have if he didn't at least care.'
She wanted to roll her eyes, and choke that part of her that was so frustratingly ever hopeful.
"We should get inside – it's going to start storming any minute."
Ginny gathered her robes, and started past him, but he put out an arm to block her way.
She stopped, but couldn't bring herself to look at him.
"Just let me go."
His outstretched arm didn't move.
****************
Severus tried to make himself move aside, but he couldn't.
He watched her face, bathed in the moonlight, and didn't think he'd ever seen anyone like her. Moments before, when he'd followed her here, he'd seen her standing with a posture so defeated it had made a curious ache seep into his chest.
"There's something here."
She looked up at him, her brown eyes startled, and then the night went pitch as clouds swallowed up the moon.
Her hand reached instinctively for his, and he gave it to her.
"What did you say?"
"There is something here. Between us." He found he could barely recognize his own voice.
*******************
Ginny held her breath, and waited. How long had she waited to hear him admit it?
"There is something…but I can't afford to give into it."
She closed her eyes and tried to pull her hand away, but he held it fast.
"I can't be who I am and still care for you, Ginny."
That was it? No regrets, no explanations?
Rain started pouring down in cold, hesitant drops suddenly, as the night sky opened up overhead.
"I'm going inside," she mumbled, brushing her damp curls from her face.
"Ginny, wait – I – I'm…damn it, I won't apologize," he said urgently in a low, harsh voice. "This is me, this is how I am. I can't explain…"
He took a step forward, and Ginny stumbled back blindly, startled, forgetting how close she'd been standing to the top of the rough hewn stone steps carved into the side of the cliff.
Her foot caught in the trailing skirt of her robes, buckled beneath her, and she began to fall.
With a single swift movement, Severus was at her side. His arms went around her, catching her, pulling her upright, holding her close.
She was so close to him, so close she could smell the warm scent of his flesh, the clean fragrance of his dampening hair that spilled into his eyes, and brushed the tops of his shoulders. He was hard all over, and being that close to him made her knees weak.
"Sweet Jesus, can you get any clumsier, girl?"
"Just leave me alone," Ginny groaned miserably at his biting tone, feeling her cheeks burn in humiliation. She blinked through the rain at his spiky lashed eyes, and dropped her own.
He sighed roughly, and then shook her slightly. "Ginny – are you all right?"
Trembling, she again lifted her eyes to his features. The dim, wavering light from the torches outside the entrance hall played across them, casting shadows into sharp planes, glistening in his dark eyes, shining in the rain that fell on his midnight hair.
Shivering, she shook her head slowly from side to side. The attraction, the desire he'd first stirred in her returned full force. She loved him, no matter what he said. She knew, too, that she had no business standing there with him when he'd clearly stated he wanted nothing to do with her.
"Please," she whispered, begging for his understanding. "Please, this once."
"You don't know what you're asking," he replied very faintly, but he drew her slowly against him, and she curved her body thankfully into his far larger one. "Don't tempt me."
She let her head drop back, and raised a shaky hand and touched his cheek. Whatever umbrage, whatever aggression existed between them, it was cast out, however temporarily, in the shared need they both felt.
"I – I just need to be close to you, Severus, please. Please…don't push me away."
He leaned toward her, his breathing ragged - his lips brushed hers gently.
Ginny wanted something deeper; she opened her lips beneath his, and touched her tongue to his lower lip.
He froze, and she could feel his heart slamming against his ribs where she pressed herself against him.
She moved her lips again, invitingly, and he clamped his mouth over hers with a husky groan.
The rain falling around them began to come down heavier, and Ginny shivered at the coldness of it despite the intense heat she was feeling.
Severus abruptly turned his head away, and set her from him.
She looked up at him with heavily lidded eyes.
"This never happened," he stated coldly, though a little breathlessly, shaking his wet hair from his eyes.
Ginny chuckled softly despite herself. She licked her lips, savoring the taste of him, and the cool rain.
"You want me to forget about that? About us? Impossible."
He took a deep, shaky breath, anger flushing his pale cheeks.
"Must I remind you, again – there is no 'us'? I'm telling you, Ginny, I'll forget all about you by the time I reach the hall."
Ginny only chuckled again.
He stiffened his back at the sound, and she watched his jaw clench, the muscles jumping wildly, before he turned and stalked away.
She lifted her fingers to her slightly swollen lips, and watched his rigid back as he disappeared. How long had she wondered what his kiss might feel like? How many times over the past years had she tried to imagine it?
Ginny looked back over her shoulder at the dark, rippling lake one last time, and picked up her soggy robes, before walking back to the castle.
Her imagination definitely hadn't done him justice.
*******************
To Be Continued…
A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews – I love to hear your thoughts and opinions, so please keep them coming! Also, I think there may be more smoochies coming up next chapter - …and more Snape – isms, of course. Gotta' luv the sexy, cranky guy! : D - Key
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7. Dreaming
**************
The preparations for the ball were finished, and Ginny excused herself from the newly decorated hall to go and dress for the ball.
An hour later she was done, and she waited by the windows in her room, having opened them to the cool night air. A flash of far off lightning lit the black sky momentarily, and she heard the warning rumble of distant thunder.
A rushing breeze spilled across her heated cheeks, and she closed her eyes to savor the crisp, clean scent of the fall air.
She opened her eyes slowly when a sharp, impatient knock sounded on her door, and she took a deep, steadying breath before walking to it and opening it.
"Good evening," she said cordially, offering up her friendliest smile.
The man stood glaring down his nose at her with a familiar sour look on his face, looking very much as though he'd been force - fed an entire orchard of lemons.
Ginny felt her smile disappear with the force of a suddenly deflated balloon.
Obviously friendly just wasn't going to cut it with this man…
Ginny resisted the urge to roll her eyes – the robes he wore were identical to the ones he wore everyday, with the exception of a bit of ornate silver trim at the collar, wrists and hem. At least he appeared to have bothered pulling a brush through his hair. It looked a bit less – stringy.
He scowled at her as he caught her running her eyes over him.
She took his reluctantly offered arm with a sigh. She was hopeless. Even with that awful expression, she still thought he was beautiful.
"How are you feeling, tonight, Severus?"
He frowned. "Who appointed you my nursemaid, exactly?"
She sent him a dirty look.
"I was only curious. Just trying to help –"
He snorted. "You? Don't think I've forgotten how clumsy you were in my class, always breaking things, tripping over yourself – indeed, kindly warn me then, the next time you set out to help me, so that I might have the providence to take cover."
"Did anyone ever tell you that you have a way of speaking that makes a person feel like a useless, brainless fool?"
"I'll take that as a compliment," was all he said, as they continued along the corridor.
"Aren't you going to tell me how lovely I look?" She at last teased, grinning up at him.
"Fishing about for compliments, Virginia?" He slid her a dark glance for the corner of his eye.
"Of course, I'm a woman…if I don't ask, how else am I ever going to get any?"
"You're trying to tell me that men don't give you compliments."
"Not really – I don't think red - orange frizzy hair and freckles are terribly popular right now," she replied lightly.
Severus surprised her by stopping in the corridor, and turning to face her, running critical dark eyes over her.
She felt uncomfortable under the intense scrutiny. She looked down at her slightly worn, antique gold colored dress robes with a sigh. "What? Is there something in my teeth?"
He smiled, and it felt as though the sun itself were shining down on her for the briefest moment, and then it was gone, replaced by a familiar scowl.
"Any man would be pleased to have a lady as lovely as you on his arm," he stated gruffly, sounding anything but pleased.
Ginny bit her lip and then smiled. "I'm not lovely, really – but it's kind of you to lie."
"I wasn't lying…your hair is quite eye – catching, and your skin is unblemished –"
She shook her head and laughed. She guessed that to him, those were compliments!
"My skin isn't unblemished – I've been trying to get rid of these horrid freckles forever."
His hand lifted, and his fingertips brushed her cheek slightly, before he dropped his hand and moved away.
"Leave your freckles be, Ginny – as the saying goes, perfection is boring."
Ginny took his arm again, her cheeks feeling warm.
Had there ever been any doubt in her mind that she didn't want to spend her entire life loving this man?
She felt his arm tense beneath her hand, when they approached the great hall.
"Afraid Bertie might ask a dance of you?" Ginny couldn't help teasing.
He didn't bother answering, but he paused in his step, and she thought he looked as skittish as a high – strung Hippogriff.
"Severus," she said gently, trying to get his attention.
He looked down at her at last, swallowing.
"What are you so nervous about? I've seen you at the balls before remember? You never looked so…so ill with nerves."
A small bitter smile curved his lips. "That's because I always kept myself busy by chasing students out of the bushes outside," he said dryly.
Ginny laughed softly.
"Professor McGonagall mentioned you'd had a bad experience at a ball here, once – "
"It wasn't at the ball, exactly…but during," he began reluctantly. "It was back when I was still a student here, see, and Sirius Black…"
***************
Ginny listened to his story carefully, cajoling him along when he paused, glaring back when he snapped at her and called her meddlesome…
"Oh, that must have awful for you – you had to have been petrified!"
"I don't mind saying I was – seeing a werewolf for the first time at any age is quite enough to scare the wits out of anyone…not to mention that the only thing between it and I was the length of a tunnel," he drawled darkly.
"I'm glad nothing happened to you," murmured Ginny earnestly, taking his hand.
A passing student unwisely dared a whistle at the sight, and Severus pulled his hand away, sending a fierce glare after the boy.
Ginny ground her teeth and took it again, catching him off guard, and finally dragged him into the darkened hall.
She came to a halt so suddenly that his momentum brought him stumbling into her back, and Ginny lost her balance, and fell forward.
"Whoa!" She yelled, as she felt herself falling, and she clutched at any kind of handhold, but found only air.
A hard arm caught her around the waist, and she was yanked back just before her face would have made contact with the stone floor.
Every thought disappeared from her mind as she felt the entire length of her body pressed impossibly close up against Severus's, and his silky hair brushed her cheek as he bent his head forward to speak to her.
"Are you all right?"
She suppressed a violent shudder, and swallowed hard, trying to get past the fact that the man she'd loved for almost five years was finally touching her, willingly.
"I – I'm okay," she finally got out, resisting the urge to press her temple to his jaw.
"Good, I'm ever so glad to hear it – now get the bloody hell off my foot."
Ginny blinked twice before his harsh, but softly spoken command finally reached her desire-fogged brain.
"Oh – er, sorry, Snape," she tried to say evenly, but even she could hear the tremble in her voice as she stepped away from him, and his strong arm slid from around her waist.
She made herself turn and look up at him, but her breath caught at the sight of him looking down at her intently, almost questioningly, as if something about her had totally perplexed him.
She dared a shaky smile, which he did not return and mumbled something horribly lame about chaperoning before walking off, her cheeks burning.
**************
Severus watched Ginny walk away with a slight frown.
What was wrong with the stupid girl? Her face had been almost as red as her hair. She must have been embarrassed about tripping in front of everyone – what other reason would she have for trembling so in his arms, or looking so flushed and breathless…
It wasn't as if she'd been as affected by his nearness as he had been hers – it was a ridiculous idea, that she found him so attractive it made her nervous…or unbelievably clumsy…
He crossed his arms and narrowed his stare on her thoughtfully as she moved away from him.
Odd, that the girl was so graceless around him – she always he'd been, even in her first year, jumping at the sound of his voice, writing her notes in a nearly indecipherable hand as he stood over her shoulder, continually dropping something or another…and yet to hear it, she was as cool and efficient as a machine out in the field.
When she'd been in his class, he'd thought she was merely being an empty headed child, that she was as intimidated by him as every other student he had.
Severus continued to watch her, fascinated by the unrealistic possibility that perhaps she really had been telling the truth about being in love with him.
He snorted at the thought, making a couple of second years standing nearby jump guiltily, even though they'd been doing absolutely nothing wrong, and quickly move away.
The potions vapors must have finally been pickling his brain.
Still, it was curious…
**************
Ginny saw Bertie, crossing to talk to Severus, and pitied the poor woman for thinking the man would spare her a glance, let alone a kind word.
She could have told her not to bother – she herself had only been trying for the past month!
Ginny leaned against the wall, and let her head fall to one side as she studied him.
What exactly was it about him that she loved so much?
She thought for a moment, and then shook her head – there was no point in going through the list again – she was stuck with the greasy haired git.
The thought made her smile, and her eyes softened as she stared across the room at him, over the heads of the dancing couples.
What wouldn't she give to have him look at her with something besides displeasure or annoyance?
Hell, what wouldn't she give for him to just touch her again, even in a way as simple and innocent as he had when he'd caught her?
Ginny caught his black gaze over Bertie's head, and the power of it made her chest ache…she returned the slightly questioning look with one of her own, and watched as he absently murmured an answer to something Bertie had said, never taking his eyes off hers.
For once she was too caught up in the turmoil of her feelings to get flustered and look away. She saw his hard features soften the slightest bit, and discovered her eyes were tearing up, for no reason at all, really.
"Professor Weasley?"
Ginny dropped her eyes with an effort, and took a deep breath as she looked to whoever had said her name.
"Professor…would you do me the honor?"
She smiled at the seventh year Gryffindor boy who stood before her, looking hopeful. The untidiness of his black hair and the large bright eyes peering at her from behind round rimmed glasses reminded her so much of Harry, she couldn't find it in her heart to say no.
"Of course – but I have to warn you, I can't dance a whit," she confided in an exaggerated whisper that made the boy smile.
"Me either – but I'm game if you are, Professor."
*************
Severus watched Ginny place her hand in the boy's and felt an angry knot twist in his gut.
The boy looked too much like James in this light – and Ginny looked too much like Lily. Far too much like her for his liking.
It hadn't been much of a secret back then that he'd been in love with Lily Evans. It'd been a bit more of a joke, really, one that Black had delighted in torturing him over constantly.
He watched the tall boy look down at Ginny, who was several inches shorter, and laugh at something she said.
The song was a slow one, and he decided then and there that he hated it with a fiery passion.
He barely noticed when Bertie finally gave up trying to talk to him, and walked away in a huff.
Severus found himself walking forward when the boy rested his hand on Ginny's slender hip, intent on giving him a month's worth of detention for something, he didn't know what yet, but for something…
"Ah, Severus! Bertie was looking for you -"
Albus caught him before he reached them, and he almost bit off his tongue trying to keep the frustrated curse on it from escaping.
*************
A forlorn looking bat hung from the back of Dumbledore's chair, and Ginny sighed, scooping the small, furry black creature into her hand as she took her seat behind the teacher's table after her dance.
"What are you looking so lost for little one?" She held the softly squeaking bat in both hands, looking it over for any injuries – but she couldn't find any reason for the poor things sluggishness.
The small fruit bat made a faint chirping noise, not unlike that of a bird, and Ginny smiled at it, feeling the leathery softness of it's wings fluttering against her skin – the bat made no move to escape.
"Dear God, woman, what are you doing with that creature?"
Ginny looked up to see Severus lowering himself into his seat next to her, and her heart gave a painfully excited leap at the sight of him in the darkened hall.
"Well? I believe the bats were meant to lend atmosphere to the surroundings – not as party favors."
She smiled at his dry tone, and watched as the bat scrabbled up her robe sleeve. She lifted her hair and tied it into a careless knotted ponytail so it wouldn't become entangled in it, and watched, amused, as the tiny bat dropped, and dangled upside down from the fabric of her robes.
"He's a loner," she explained, reaching out a finger to rub the bats' fuzzy belly. "He thinks he's too good to hang out with his friends up there."
"He seems to have no problem with you," Severus remarked, watching the bat with distaste.
"Don't you like bats, Snape?" She pushed the tip of a gently tickling wing away from her jaw, and looked over at the dark man sitting beside her.
"I haven't much of a problem with using their wings for potions," he stated coldly as he watched the silky black lump wiggling on her shoulder.
As if the bat had heard and understood, it suddenly squeaked and took flight, disappearing into the mass of bats and eerily lit jack o' lanterns floating overhead.
"You scared the poor thing half to death," chastised Ginny, pulling her hair out of its knot.
She didn't notice his dark eyes tracing the slender curve of her neck as she lifted her hair away, and the tensing of his jaw as she let the shiny, curling mass fall across her shoulders.
Ginny let her gaze flicker over to his just in time to catch him turning his head away.
"You don't care for creatures much, do you? I mean you don't have a pet – or an owl…"
"What use would I have for a pet? Or an owl for that matter? I have no desire to form any attachments,"
"Right," Ginny muttered, drumming her fingernails on the tabletop. "How could you remember to feed a pet, when you can't even remember to eat, yourself?"
"Perhaps you should concern yourself less with my eating habits and more with 'Potter' over there," he snapped rather sourly.
Ginny looked confused. "Oh, you mean Ashley Primmer –" she crooked her head to look around at the tall boy again, and she smiled. "Yes, he does look a lot like Harry,"
" 'Ashley'," Snape snorted, shaking his head. "I believe you've landed yourself another loyal follower, Virginia."
"He's a student," said Ginny, looking insulted by his insinuation.
"And I told you, it's Ginny."
Severus looked like he was doing his best to ignore her. She looked at him closely, her eyes narrowing.
"Oh my God. You're jealous, aren't you?" Her jaw dropped as she stared at him.
He turned his head so fast he very nearly twisted it right off his neck.
"I beg your pardon?"
Ginny grinned, not put off in the slightest by his dangerously soft whisper. "You're jealous."
"Jealous of what, may I ask?"
"Me." The single word came out in an excited squeal.
He looked her up and down insultingly, his distaste for her behavior obvious.
"You certainly are full of interesting theories," he finally sneered nastily, looking away. "You must be dreaming."
"And you're hiding. I know you care for me," she divulged, leaning over to whisper in his ear.
"You're insane."
"I know…I know because of the way your eyes follow me, the way you hesitate after I smile at you…"
"Have you been drinking the wine?"
"I know because of the way your words stumble when I laugh…and though you may not believe it yet – I don't think you could for the world, ever bring yourself to ever hurt me."
Ginny watched his anger slowly build.
This was it – this was the reaction she'd been waiting for…
He slapped his hands flat on the table so loud it made her flinch, and stood up, grabbing her elbow.
"What are you doing?" Ginny swallowed as he pulled her from the hall, his fingers digging bruisingly into the flesh of her arm.
He didn't answer, but continued pulling her along until they reached the main entrance hall, and he let her go near the stairs.
She rubbed her arm, looking up at him with a censuring glance. "That hurt!"
Severus only looked at her coldly.
"I guess that blows your theory about me all to hell, then," he drawled slowly, darkly, one black brow arching.
Ginny shook her head. Her eyes dropped, and she caught sight of his wand slung through the belt clasped around his slim waist.
His strong, agile fingers were slowly caressing the ornately carved handle.
She wondered what it would feel like to have them touching her face again, or stroking her hair…
"You are a most annoying and insolent child," he commented suddenly, his dark eyes glinting. He reached up a hand to rub his temple.
"Headache, my love?"
"Yes – and don't call me that!" He snapped, eyes flashing.
"All right – if you'll stop calling me 'child'", she snapped back.
"Then desist in acting like one, Professor!"
Ginny stared up at him as he loomed over her, looking sinister and dispassionate, and she tried to reign in her rising temper.
"You don't scare me anymore, Severus Snape – I'm not that silly little girl shrinking away from you in your class anymore, so don't think you can intimidate me! I may love you, but I won't stand you trying to treat me as if I were some snake slithering across the toe of your boot!"
"There's little chance of me treating you that way, my dear, I actually care for serpents!"
She felt her face tighten, and then she released a frustrated sob, and promptly burst into tears.
***********
Severus stared at Ginny in horror – she was crying.
It wasn't that he'd never seen her cry before, but what was making him feel so wretched was the fact that he'd made her cry. It had been his fault…
At a loss for what to do, he looked around the hall helplessly, but it was deserted.
She turned away from him, her face buried in her hands, and he felt something akin to panic rise inside his chest.
He knew he should just walk away, and leave her alone, but he couldn't make himself move. He just stared at her in fascinated dismay, and felt every sound of distress she made scrape along his nerves like a dull razor blade.
Ballocks, he thought finally, and resignedly reached out to place a comforting hand on her shoulder.
She bolted suddenly before his hand ever made contact, and he watched, too surprised to say anything, as she picked up the hem of her long robes and ran from the hall out into the night, her sobs echoing behind her.
Severus stood there, contemplating either retreating to his rooms with a bottle and forgetting the whole the night, or going after her.
Thunder sounded in the distance, and he swore.
A moment later he stalked after her with another frustrated curse.
***********
Ginny stood at the top of the stairs leading down to the boat dock, and tried very hard not to smile as she looked out across the moonlit lake.
It was an impressive sight, every bit as much as it had been when she'd first seen it years ago – even more so now, with storm clouds rolling in above the hills.
"Looks every bit like a Halloween night is supposed to, doesn't it?" She said out loud finally, to the man who'd stepped up a few feet behind her.
When he didn't answer, she turned back to him, feeling her hair rippling in the alternately warm and cold wind.
His black robes blended him perfectly into the night, and with the legendary, torch lit castle rising so majestically behind him, the picture they made was one almost straight out of her dreams, the epitome of everything she most wanted in the world.
Almost.
There was, after all, the tiny problem that he didn't care.
'He followed you,' a tiny voice protested, 'he wouldn't have if he didn't at least care.'
She wanted to roll her eyes, and choke that part of her that was so frustratingly ever hopeful.
"We should get inside – it's going to start storming any minute."
Ginny gathered her robes, and started past him, but he put out an arm to block her way.
She stopped, but couldn't bring herself to look at him.
"Just let me go."
His outstretched arm didn't move.
****************
Severus tried to make himself move aside, but he couldn't.
He watched her face, bathed in the moonlight, and didn't think he'd ever seen anyone like her. Moments before, when he'd followed her here, he'd seen her standing with a posture so defeated it had made a curious ache seep into his chest.
"There's something here."
She looked up at him, her brown eyes startled, and then the night went pitch as clouds swallowed up the moon.
Her hand reached instinctively for his, and he gave it to her.
"What did you say?"
"There is something here. Between us." He found he could barely recognize his own voice.
*******************
Ginny held her breath, and waited. How long had she waited to hear him admit it?
"There is something…but I can't afford to give into it."
She closed her eyes and tried to pull her hand away, but he held it fast.
"I can't be who I am and still care for you, Ginny."
That was it? No regrets, no explanations?
Rain started pouring down in cold, hesitant drops suddenly, as the night sky opened up overhead.
"I'm going inside," she mumbled, brushing her damp curls from her face.
"Ginny, wait – I – I'm…damn it, I won't apologize," he said urgently in a low, harsh voice. "This is me, this is how I am. I can't explain…"
He took a step forward, and Ginny stumbled back blindly, startled, forgetting how close she'd been standing to the top of the rough hewn stone steps carved into the side of the cliff.
Her foot caught in the trailing skirt of her robes, buckled beneath her, and she began to fall.
With a single swift movement, Severus was at her side. His arms went around her, catching her, pulling her upright, holding her close.
She was so close to him, so close she could smell the warm scent of his flesh, the clean fragrance of his dampening hair that spilled into his eyes, and brushed the tops of his shoulders. He was hard all over, and being that close to him made her knees weak.
"Sweet Jesus, can you get any clumsier, girl?"
"Just leave me alone," Ginny groaned miserably at his biting tone, feeling her cheeks burn in humiliation. She blinked through the rain at his spiky lashed eyes, and dropped her own.
He sighed roughly, and then shook her slightly. "Ginny – are you all right?"
Trembling, she again lifted her eyes to his features. The dim, wavering light from the torches outside the entrance hall played across them, casting shadows into sharp planes, glistening in his dark eyes, shining in the rain that fell on his midnight hair.
Shivering, she shook her head slowly from side to side. The attraction, the desire he'd first stirred in her returned full force. She loved him, no matter what he said. She knew, too, that she had no business standing there with him when he'd clearly stated he wanted nothing to do with her.
"Please," she whispered, begging for his understanding. "Please, this once."
"You don't know what you're asking," he replied very faintly, but he drew her slowly against him, and she curved her body thankfully into his far larger one. "Don't tempt me."
She let her head drop back, and raised a shaky hand and touched his cheek. Whatever umbrage, whatever aggression existed between them, it was cast out, however temporarily, in the shared need they both felt.
"I – I just need to be close to you, Severus, please. Please…don't push me away."
He leaned toward her, his breathing ragged - his lips brushed hers gently.
Ginny wanted something deeper; she opened her lips beneath his, and touched her tongue to his lower lip.
He froze, and she could feel his heart slamming against his ribs where she pressed herself against him.
She moved her lips again, invitingly, and he clamped his mouth over hers with a husky groan.
The rain falling around them began to come down heavier, and Ginny shivered at the coldness of it despite the intense heat she was feeling.
Severus abruptly turned his head away, and set her from him.
She looked up at him with heavily lidded eyes.
"This never happened," he stated coldly, though a little breathlessly, shaking his wet hair from his eyes.
Ginny chuckled softly despite herself. She licked her lips, savoring the taste of him, and the cool rain.
"You want me to forget about that? About us? Impossible."
He took a deep, shaky breath, anger flushing his pale cheeks.
"Must I remind you, again – there is no 'us'? I'm telling you, Ginny, I'll forget all about you by the time I reach the hall."
Ginny only chuckled again.
He stiffened his back at the sound, and she watched his jaw clench, the muscles jumping wildly, before he turned and stalked away.
She lifted her fingers to her slightly swollen lips, and watched his rigid back as he disappeared. How long had she wondered what his kiss might feel like? How many times over the past years had she tried to imagine it?
Ginny looked back over her shoulder at the dark, rippling lake one last time, and picked up her soggy robes, before walking back to the castle.
Her imagination definitely hadn't done him justice.
*******************
To Be Continued…
A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews – I love to hear your thoughts and opinions, so please keep them coming! Also, I think there may be more smoochies coming up next chapter - …and more Snape – isms, of course. Gotta' luv the sexy, cranky guy! : D - Key