I Miss You
Chapter 14: (on) The Empty Pillow Next To Mine
She has been home for three days. The bruises on her body have faded to a light purplish color, and the scrapes on her face have shrunk, almost disappearing completely. She has even stopped taking the painkillers the doctor prescribed for her shoulder. Her mother and Luke have been fussing over her nonstop. Not that it's a bad thing, just kind of...suffocating. In truth, she is looking forward to her escape to Italy and the chance to get out of her own head for awhile. She has some serious thinking to do.
She hasn't seen him since New York. She knows that he has been around; her family members have told her as much. But he only seems to come when she is sleeping or too out of it to notice. It's not fair that he keeps seeing her but she doesn't get to see him. Especially since he is the one who decided that he doesn't want to get involved with her again. So why keep coming around?
***
She stays up late that night reading. When she finally shuts off the light on her nightstand, it is nearly three in the morning. With a sigh, she rolls over on her side and shuts her eyes. Not fifteen minutes later, she hears a car drive up to the house, the headlights shining through the glass of her window. It wakes her from the light doze she has drifted into. The lights flicker off and a car door slams. Her eyes fall closed sleepily.
A slight rattling at her window causes her eyes to fly open. She knows he is outside, sliding the glass pane of her window higher and higher. In their junior year of high school, when he had first tried that particular trick, he had managed to break her window, waking up Lorelai and all the neighbors. Now, he slides it up effortlessly and swings a leg over the window sill. She hears the soft thump on the carpet as his feet connect with the ground.
She slowly shuts her eyes, pretending to be asleep. She forces herself to take deep, even breaths. Part of her wants to yell at him for sneaking into her room like that, but the bigger part is curious to see what he is up to. Her mattress shifts as he cautiously sits on the side of her bed. She hears two thuds as he carelessly tosses his shoes to the side. She fights the urge to fidget, instead remaining motionless.
She is laying all the way over on one side of the bed. He ceases all movement, watching her for a few minutes before deciding that she is in a deep sleep and will not wake. He scoots a little higher up before lowering himself onto the mattress fully, laying next to her. He speaks no words and he does not touch her.
She is truly puzzled. Has he been doing this every night since she's been home? How hasn't she noticed? And what the hell does he think he is doing? While it is kind of a cute, romantic gesture to stay by her side while she sleeps, it is also very disturbing in a stalkerish kind of way. She listens closely, trying to determine if he is asleep. She can't tell. After a few minutes, she decides more drastic actions are called for.
She rolls over onto her back, mumbling intelligibly. Her arm collides with his chest. Crap. Damn bed is smaller than she thought. Now what is she going to do? Apparently he is thinking the same thing. His muscles tighten, and she knows he is trying to think of a way to get out from under her arm. Well, at least she knows he isn't asleep now. He wiggles a little, trying to free himself.
Oh no you don't, she thinks. If you're going to drive all the way over here only to sneak in my window and lay in my bed without my knowledge, you're at least staying the night.
She rolls over onto her other side, facing him. She cuddles up to his chest, effectively trapping him. He sighs in resignation and gives up. The muscles is his chest relax.
She fights valiantly to stay awake, but the wonderfully warm feeling of being in his arms again lulls her to sleep. When she wakes the next morning, he is gone, leaving no evidence of his presence. She's not even sure she didn't dream the whole thing.
***
The rest of the week passes in the same manner, with Rory pretending to be asleep and Tristin sneaking in her window every night. She's not sure why she doesn't confront him about it. Deep down, she's afraid that his secret visits are the only part of him she has left. He makes no move to communicate with her in the daylight, and that small part of him is better than nothing.
***
He climbs in her window, as he has been doing for the last few nights. Each night he keeps telling himself that it will be the last time, but he always returns. Only this time, he knows he will not come back. She leaves tomorrow, and unless he wants to fly to Italy, his late night visits will have to stop.
He stands inside her room and shuts the window. He freezes as a light clicks on. He turns around slowly. She is sitting up in bed, eyeing him warily.
He opens his mouth to explain
"Don't even try it buster. I know you've been sneaking in every night since I've been home from the hospital."
He opens his mouth again.
She cuts him off. "You know, you're lucky Luke doesn't know about this. I think he has a shotgun upstairs."
He opens the window again, intending to run away and pray to God she thinks she has dreamed the whole thing.
"Not so fast. Why do you keep sneaking into my room while I'm sleeping?"
He ponders her question. "I couldn't stay away."
She raises one eyebrow, clearly skeptical.
"I had to see if it's possible to live without you in my life."
"I thought you had already decided I was expendable."
"That was before."
"Oh, so just because I was hit by a car, you suddenly can't live without me?"
He shrugs. "Sounds dumb when you say it like that."
"Why all the secrecy? You know how I feel."
"I know how you feel, I just don't know to what extent you feel it."
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asks, her voice getting a little louder.
"Just forget it. I'm leaving."
"Go ahead. I'm getting quite used to seeing you turn your back on me."
He puts one leg through the window.
"This is it, you know. I'm getting on that plane tomorrow. And if you don't tell me otherwise, I'll do whatever it takes to get over you. This is your last chance."
He stares at her for a moment, then swings the other leg over the sill and jumps.
14/21
Chapter 14: (on) The Empty Pillow Next To Mine
She has been home for three days. The bruises on her body have faded to a light purplish color, and the scrapes on her face have shrunk, almost disappearing completely. She has even stopped taking the painkillers the doctor prescribed for her shoulder. Her mother and Luke have been fussing over her nonstop. Not that it's a bad thing, just kind of...suffocating. In truth, she is looking forward to her escape to Italy and the chance to get out of her own head for awhile. She has some serious thinking to do.
She hasn't seen him since New York. She knows that he has been around; her family members have told her as much. But he only seems to come when she is sleeping or too out of it to notice. It's not fair that he keeps seeing her but she doesn't get to see him. Especially since he is the one who decided that he doesn't want to get involved with her again. So why keep coming around?
***
She stays up late that night reading. When she finally shuts off the light on her nightstand, it is nearly three in the morning. With a sigh, she rolls over on her side and shuts her eyes. Not fifteen minutes later, she hears a car drive up to the house, the headlights shining through the glass of her window. It wakes her from the light doze she has drifted into. The lights flicker off and a car door slams. Her eyes fall closed sleepily.
A slight rattling at her window causes her eyes to fly open. She knows he is outside, sliding the glass pane of her window higher and higher. In their junior year of high school, when he had first tried that particular trick, he had managed to break her window, waking up Lorelai and all the neighbors. Now, he slides it up effortlessly and swings a leg over the window sill. She hears the soft thump on the carpet as his feet connect with the ground.
She slowly shuts her eyes, pretending to be asleep. She forces herself to take deep, even breaths. Part of her wants to yell at him for sneaking into her room like that, but the bigger part is curious to see what he is up to. Her mattress shifts as he cautiously sits on the side of her bed. She hears two thuds as he carelessly tosses his shoes to the side. She fights the urge to fidget, instead remaining motionless.
She is laying all the way over on one side of the bed. He ceases all movement, watching her for a few minutes before deciding that she is in a deep sleep and will not wake. He scoots a little higher up before lowering himself onto the mattress fully, laying next to her. He speaks no words and he does not touch her.
She is truly puzzled. Has he been doing this every night since she's been home? How hasn't she noticed? And what the hell does he think he is doing? While it is kind of a cute, romantic gesture to stay by her side while she sleeps, it is also very disturbing in a stalkerish kind of way. She listens closely, trying to determine if he is asleep. She can't tell. After a few minutes, she decides more drastic actions are called for.
She rolls over onto her back, mumbling intelligibly. Her arm collides with his chest. Crap. Damn bed is smaller than she thought. Now what is she going to do? Apparently he is thinking the same thing. His muscles tighten, and she knows he is trying to think of a way to get out from under her arm. Well, at least she knows he isn't asleep now. He wiggles a little, trying to free himself.
Oh no you don't, she thinks. If you're going to drive all the way over here only to sneak in my window and lay in my bed without my knowledge, you're at least staying the night.
She rolls over onto her other side, facing him. She cuddles up to his chest, effectively trapping him. He sighs in resignation and gives up. The muscles is his chest relax.
She fights valiantly to stay awake, but the wonderfully warm feeling of being in his arms again lulls her to sleep. When she wakes the next morning, he is gone, leaving no evidence of his presence. She's not even sure she didn't dream the whole thing.
***
The rest of the week passes in the same manner, with Rory pretending to be asleep and Tristin sneaking in her window every night. She's not sure why she doesn't confront him about it. Deep down, she's afraid that his secret visits are the only part of him she has left. He makes no move to communicate with her in the daylight, and that small part of him is better than nothing.
***
He climbs in her window, as he has been doing for the last few nights. Each night he keeps telling himself that it will be the last time, but he always returns. Only this time, he knows he will not come back. She leaves tomorrow, and unless he wants to fly to Italy, his late night visits will have to stop.
He stands inside her room and shuts the window. He freezes as a light clicks on. He turns around slowly. She is sitting up in bed, eyeing him warily.
He opens his mouth to explain
"Don't even try it buster. I know you've been sneaking in every night since I've been home from the hospital."
He opens his mouth again.
She cuts him off. "You know, you're lucky Luke doesn't know about this. I think he has a shotgun upstairs."
He opens the window again, intending to run away and pray to God she thinks she has dreamed the whole thing.
"Not so fast. Why do you keep sneaking into my room while I'm sleeping?"
He ponders her question. "I couldn't stay away."
She raises one eyebrow, clearly skeptical.
"I had to see if it's possible to live without you in my life."
"I thought you had already decided I was expendable."
"That was before."
"Oh, so just because I was hit by a car, you suddenly can't live without me?"
He shrugs. "Sounds dumb when you say it like that."
"Why all the secrecy? You know how I feel."
"I know how you feel, I just don't know to what extent you feel it."
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asks, her voice getting a little louder.
"Just forget it. I'm leaving."
"Go ahead. I'm getting quite used to seeing you turn your back on me."
He puts one leg through the window.
"This is it, you know. I'm getting on that plane tomorrow. And if you don't tell me otherwise, I'll do whatever it takes to get over you. This is your last chance."
He stares at her for a moment, then swings the other leg over the sill and jumps.
14/21