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Disclaimer: Not mine! : D
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A/N: 'R' rating on this chapter, guys. You've been warned. You'll see why. : D
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12. Infatuation
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Life was an evil, sadistic, deceitful bitch.
Severus took a deep, snarling breath and willed his body to calm.
He heard the water start in the bathroom and stifled a groan.
Ginny was a virgin.
The sudden thought that she had possibly been saving herself for him, that no other had touched her, made him uncomfortable in ways he'd be better off not thinking on.
He scowled, and again scratched behind his ear – the itching was more tolerable now, but it still made him exceedingly uncomfortable.
Ginny.
Damn her, anyway. What was she thinking? She was older, yes, but still far too young for him. She always would be – and besides, he wasn't interested in all the intricacies that no doubt came along with her. Her large family, her troublesome brothers, Potter, marriage, squalling, annoying children, undying faithfulness, responsibility –
It gave him a bloody migraine, and the very thought of it would have been enough to send any other man screaming.
Severus massaged the back of his aching neck, and the knot threatening to form there. He turned to look down the short hall where she'd disappeared into the bathroom.
He had to get her the hell out of there before he did something they'd both regret, because he didn't think that Ginny Weasley was the sort to give herself without strings attached.
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Ginny waited until the bath was nearly full of hot, steaming water before she turned to see Severus leaning against the doorjamb, his usually cold black eyes watching her with burning intent.
He reached up to absently scratch at the center of his lightly furred chest, and her mouth began to water as she glimpsed a flat male nipple.
"Er – here it is – just, uh…just get in whenever you want," she said, swallowing hard. "I'll just be going now…"
She could have slapped herself. 'Coward', she thought. 'You've got him right where you want him, and you're the one shying away? What's wrong with you! You may never get this chance again!'
Ginny drew back her shoulders. 'Right,' she told herself. 'You have to learn to lead your way – '
Severus straightened up, crossing his arms, blocking the doorway.
Her newly gathered confidence suddenly dropped to her toes and dissolved in the face of his impending verbal lashing.
"You know…it occurs to me, you've been torturing me ever since you arrived," he drawled with soft menace.
Ginny felt her heart beat pick up in alarm. "Severus – "
He lowered his hands slowly and began to finish unbuttoning the rest of his high collared white shirt.
Ginny stared nervously, biting her lower lip as he carelessly shrugged the shirt off his shoulders, allowing it to drop around his elbows.
Her eyes strayed to where his lean, long fingered hands were resting at the waistband of his black trousers.
"Perhaps it's time I repaid some of your kindness," he continued in a deceptively silky voice.
Ginny fisted her trembling hands and took a reflexive step back – he kept his eyes on hers, and flicked open the top button effortlessly.
She almost fainted. What was he doing?
He opened the next button, and she took yet another step back, again lost her balance, and fell, arms still wind milling desperately – right into the tub.
Splashing around, Ginny emerged from the deep, steaming hot water with a gasping sputter.
She raked her sopping red hair out of her face, and looked up at him with wide eyes.
Severus stood over the bath, now shirtless, his lean muscled arms crossed, his trousers resting alarmingly low on his narrow hips.
He arched a brow at her as she watched, unaware that her mouth was gaping open.
"I believe you said that I was the one who had to have the bath," he drawled again, his eyes glinting wickedly.
Ginny almost could have sworn she saw a flicker of dark humor there. She cleared her throat, and tossed back her sodden curls.
"Well, it isn't as if there isn't room for two in here," she heard herself say absently as she stared back at him.
She felt her cheeks begin to flame suddenly, and she snapped her mouth shut.
"So this is your idea of seduction? Sitting fully clothed in a pool of hot water?" He asked coolly, and reached up to lightly scratch his jaw.
Ginny frowned indignantly, knowing she was being mocked, and pulled herself up to her feet, her robes feeling as if they weighed a ton from all the water they'd absorbed.
"I wasn't trying to seduce you, for heaven's sake! I look like something a Kneazle dragged in, and you're gadding about scratching like a dog with bloody fleas!" She stepped out of the bath, robes dragging, and glared at him.
Looking very insulted, Severus dropped his hand and glared back so fiercely she gulped and started to step around him.
In one, quick, smooth movement, he blocked her path.
'Oh lord…'
Ginny watched him place his hands on his hips, and took a step backwards – he followed. She took another – and he said in a voice as soft as tattered velvet, "Careful – or do you want to take a header into the bath again?"
Ginny stopped and bit the inside of her cheek. "Severus, really – I – I should get back to the Infirmary – I - I'm really not feeling well," she lied weakly, inwardly cursing herself for stumbling over her words.
"You're obviously feeling well enough to be coming down here to torment me," he commented quietly.
She looked up him hesitantly, and then swiftly sidestepped him. "Really – torment you – I do have some ethics you know – "
"Ethics," he sneered, his voice following her out into the short hallway. "I should have known you would start spouting off about ethics,"
Ginny paused, unsure as to which way to take as she heard him grumble under his breath and finish undressing behind her – a moment later she heard a soft splash and a low groan as he lowered himself into the water. She caught herself nearly turning around to watch.
"I'm sure you can show yourself out," he called, still sounding impossibly moody. There were a few more quick splashes, and then the sounds of him rising.
She panicked and turned left, and realized her mistake within a few short steps.
Her breath caught in her chest at the sight of the largest four tester bed she'd ever seen in her entire life.
This was his bedroom!
Ginny felt her jaw drop as she stared at the massive bed. The room was spacious, the ceiling high and arched, but the bloody bed took up nearly half the place!
It was nearly full dark in the room, with only the light from the living area down the hall filtering in, but she could see the simple, but magnificent Celtic knot carvings in the dark, gleaming wood of the testers, and the sinfully decadent looking black velvet coverlet thrown across the rumpled, unmade bed.
"Now that you've completely invaded my privacy…" a cool voice came from behind her.
Unable to prevent a startled squeak from escaping, she whirled to face the shadowy form standing behind her.
"Er – sorry, I didn't realize where I was going – "
"That much is apparent – you don't need to point out your inabilities, Professor. I am already quite familiar with them," he said acidly.
After a long moment, in which she noticed he stood before her in unbuttoned trousers and his loose, gaping open white shirt, which clung slightly to his damp skin, she stuttered, "Well, m – maybe if you didn't keep it so blasted dark in here – "
"I like it dark," he murmured softly in a way that made her skin tingle.
She couldn't really see his expression in the shadows, with the dim light coming from behind him, but she could see that his hair was still wet and hanging in his eyes.
"Oh – er…did the bath work?"
He nodded faintly, still staring at her.
She shivered, feeling cold suddenly, and finally realized she was dripping water all over the large, antique carpet on the stone floor. "Oh – sorry!" She moved forward, intent on leaving, but he grabbed her arm, turning to face her in the inconstant light.
"Ginny,"
She dropped her head, too shy suddenly to look at him
"I realize…that there is an – a certain attraction between us…"
'- and here comes the 'but'," Ginny thought with an inward grumble.
"Surely you understand, I'm far too old for you – "
"Oh yes, you're positively ancient," she muttered under her breath.
" – and though I'd like nothing more than to take you to that bed and keep you there, it wouldn't mean anything. Not to me, and I'm fairly certain you don't want that – "
Ginny swallowed at his words, the imagery in her mind making her weak with wanting.
"How do you know what I want?" She snapped suddenly, raising her head to glare at him. "How do you know I wouldn't be happy with just one night with you, and screw the consequences?"
Severus stiffened visibly, an odd light coming into his hard eyes. "I am beyond tired of having words with you, Ginny. Don't you understand? If we do this, it will destroy you, your emotions, and your outlook on the world. You're far more innocent than you think, and when the sun comes up and I'm no longer here, you'll hate yourself. That's all it would be between us – one night." He raised a hand to absently rub his temple, and then closed his eyes breifly with a rough sigh.
"You think you are in love with me, but you are, in truth, in love with the idea of being in love. I don't claim to understand it, why you chose me, but it cannot happen. You're still in the grip of some – some bloody adolescent infatuation. You'll regret it as soon as it happens, and it's not in my nature to act the reassuring type."
"Why do always speak to me as if you hate me?" She asked wonderingly, tears brimming in her eyes.
He narrowed his eyes as his lips pressed together hard. "I don't care enough about you to hate you," he said finally.
"Liar! If you didn't care, you wouldn't have a second thought in your head about doing me over on that bed right now!" Ginny exclaimed crudely, watching his eyebrows arch.
"Maybe you aren't as innocent as I thought," he said cruelly.
"What are you talking about?" She asked, incensed. "You know very well I'm a-a virgin!"
He looked her over insultingly. "There are other ways," he said in a near whisper.
Ginny trembled. She stared up at him and saw the muscle in his jaw ticking, and recognized the strained look in his eyes.
"Another of your headaches?" She asked him in concern. He looked so tired, and yet so beautiful it made her heart ache.
He cursed and walked past her, lowering himself onto the bed with the careful movements of one familiar with painful migraines.
As she watched, he dropped one hand to scrabble around in the darkness on the floor beside the bed and he came up with a bottle.
As he uncorked the bottle, the not unpleasant smell of whiskey permeated the room, and Ginny sighed.
"Don't give me that look," Severus snapped from the shadows, and took a long pull from the bottle before resting it on the mattress beside his hip, his hand still curled around it possessively. "Nothing else works, not that it's any of your bloody business."
"Well, I can't see how it helps," she muttered, crossing her arms. It was cold and drafty in the room, and the fact that she was soaking wet didn't help.
"For God's sake, go away," he groaned, allowing his head to fall back onto his pillows. "You can finish scolding me later. Tomorrow is soon enough."
"I can't leave you – you're hurting," she protested, taking several impulsive steps forward.
"I left you," he said flatly from the darkness, the deep timbre of his voice reverberating in her chest slightly.
Ginny shook her head, and then spied a long black bathrobe laying in a pool in the shadows on the floor at the foot of the bed.
She took a deep breath, and lifted her hands to the catch of her robes.
"What do you think you're doing?" Severus growled.
"It's freezing in here – I'm getting out of these wet things," she said stubbornly. "Turn your head if you don't want to see, you domineering tyrant," she added crossly.
He snorted. "How long did it take you to come up with that? It's hardly impressive - I've been called worse, you know." He didn't turn his head.
Ginny nearly quailed under his unabashedly watchful gaze, but forced her shaking fingers to finish the job of unbuttoning the catches down her front. She closed her eyes and shrugged the robes off, and then the wet pajama's beneath.
She heard his breath catch, and then looked to catch him staring at her nude curves with eyes fairly flaming with avarice.
Ginny swiftly retrieved the robe from the floor, her cheeks reddening as she awarded him with a full view of her backside. She straightened up, trying to look as calm as possible, and dragged the far too large robe around herself, having to belt the thing twice around her waist. The hem dragged on the floor as she cautiously moved towards him, breathing in the familiar sunny scent that surrounded her from the soft fabric.
"Ginny, leave," he demanded in an edgy voice. "God, if you know what's good for you – "
"Shut up, Snape," Ginny said conversationally as she stood on tip toe to drag one hip onto the side of the huge bed. She arranged the long robe around her bare legs, and looked him right in the eye. "You have no idea how many times I've wanted to say that."
Severus wasn't listening. The whiskey lay forgotten near his hip, and his hands were fisted at his sides.
"Roll over," Ginny commanded imperiously, dispatching the bottle.
"What?"
"I said, 'roll over'. Now," she added, prodding his lean side with her fingertip.
"No. Go away – "
"Now!" She said sharply, in the tone she reserved for training stubborn beasts in the field.
He finally relented and turned onto his stomach, muttering a less than flattering curse about her.
Ginny shook her head at his obstinacy, and her own bravery, and then dragged herself over to sit on his lower back. He jumped in surprise.
"What the hell – ""Relax – I'm not taking advantage of you, Severus." She reached up to rub her tired eyes, and then shook out her fingers, alternately tensing and relaxing them. She rubbed her palms together, and then leaned forward slightly, resting her thumbs at the base of his neck.
He hissed as she began working at the knot in the muscles there, but gradually relaxed as her hands smoothed warmly along his skin.
She smiled when she succeeded in getting a rough groan out of him a few minutes later.
She left his neck when the muscled finally relaxed, and began sweeping her hands down his back, beneath his soft white shirt, pausing near his shoulder blades to deeply massage, and then she worked her way down his spine to the small of his back.
Ginny scooted back slightly to accommodate the movements of her hands, becoming aware of a distinct throb between her thighs. She bit her lip against the aching sensation, and forced herself to concentrate on the task at hand.
After a few more minutes, her hands began to get tired, so she stopped, and leaned forward on him slightly to speak in his ear. He had his face nearly buried in his pillow, and he was breathing very slow and ragged.
"Feel better?" She asked, innocently resting her cheek on his shoulder, feeling both sleepy and oddly frustrated.
He sighed, his arrogant voice sounding muffled and breathless. "You should have left when you had the chance."
A chill went up her spine, and she stared at the damp inky strands of hair falling across his pillow.
"Severus…" she trailed off, running a hand absently through the warm hair at his nape, not quite sure what to say.
He turned on her suddenly, and she gasped as he rolled her beneath him.
Apparently the fire in the living room had been slowly dying, and even now, it sputtered out weakly, leaving them in pitch black silence.
The complete darkness seemed to wake something inside of them both, seemed to allow them act on their long pent up feelings.
Severus breathed something into her ear, and she buried her hands in his silky long hair.
"Please…"
"This – is not a good idea," he muttered harshly. "Ginny, I'm old enough to be – "
"I know. So what?" She asked challengingly. "Severus, when you kiss me, touch me - even when you simply look at me, your age is the last thing on my mind." She lifted her hand to touch his face and whispered, "Tell me you were thinking about age when we kissed before."
"No – you don't know what you're saying – "
"I know – I know I want you, I love you – I know that I'm attracted to you." Her fingertips found his lips. "I know I want you to touch me. Don't you want me?"
"Stop it," he ordered hoarsely, catching her hand. "Jesus, Ginny – do you think I'm made of ice? I've dreamt about you, about how you would look this way, for weeks…you know I want you."
"Then shut up and kiss me." She told him in frustration. She could sense it rising in him too, the frustrated anger – she could just imagine what his expression would look like. "Don't stop, Severus – please."
"You don't understand. Things won't ever be the same – "
"I don't care!"
"Fine," he snarled at last. "Just remember, you asked for it."
For a moment it seemed as if he hesitated, and then, making a kind of growl deep in his throat, he leaned over and his mouth came down on hers with a long, punishing open-mouthed kiss. His rough cheek rasped against hers, and she realized this was a man kissing her. Far different from those soft, hesitant kisses she'd received from Harry in his angst ridden seventh year, and the wet, clumsy, somewhat drunken one Seamus had given her one Christmas while visiting the Burrow - this kiss was different, too, even from the other he'd given her on the cliff. This was the kiss of a man intent, the kiss of a man with one thing on his mind, full of unrestrained feelings, and it stole her breath away, made her heart still at how perfect it was. He was beautiful – even his kiss was beautiful…
She ran her hands down to his shoulders, down his lean sides, to rest on the waist of his trousers. Nothing in her life had ever made her happier or felt so right to her as being held in his arms. Although she wasn't certain how it had all come about, she could think on it later. Right now, she wanted him, all of him, and she was more than willing to give him whatever he wanted…
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To Be Continued
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A/N: Okies – the end of this chapter has been re-written – I think it's a bit of an improvement. Onto the dreaded chapter thirteen!