13. The Dreaded Chapter Thirteen!
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Disclaimer: I own nothing!
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A/N: Shame, shame. Where have I been? Hiding at the bottom of a well? Narrowly escaping the grasp of a 'naked' stalker? ::heh:: Nope. I've been waiting for inspiration…yeah, that sounds good. Thanks to all of you who reviewed last chapter, and gave me your opinions on where this should go. I'll tell you right now, I'm probably not the best at writing this 'luv' stuff ::snort:: but I gave it a try – hence the new 'R' rating, to be safe. Hope it's…interesting.
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The ache was growing, growing into something that was frighteningly beyond his control.
Severus felt Ginny melt beneath him, felt her fingers tighten in his hair, and heard her soft gasp in the black silence as he opened his lips over her chilled skin. He closed his eyes, knowing that what he was doing was wrong, that it could only lead to trouble – but for once he didn't give a damn.
She whispered his name in a way that had his breath coming fast and irregular, and his hands clutching her softly rounded hips in an effort to still her restless movements against him. It had been too long, far too long, since he'd held a woman this way, and if she kept it up, he'd completely lose control.
Then too, was the knowledge that he felt more for this particular woman than he'd ever felt for any other. He could admit it here, in the darkness, feeling her skin slowly heat beneath the touch of his, the rough velvet texture of the coverlet brushing against his overly sensitized body until it was an agony not to feel every bare inch of her pressed against him.
He kissed his way back up her body, feeling her tense beneath him as he ran one hand up the inside of her trembling thigh and hooked one hand behind her knee. He settled himself between her legs, and caught her lips in a long, seductive kiss that had her nails biting into his taut shoulders.
"Don't be frightened," he murmured to her at last, pressing kisses to the sensitive column of her slender throat. He shrugged out of his shirt, and tossed it over his head.
"I-I'm not," she told him on a low moan, and when he made as if to lift himself from her, locked her warm, slender thighs around his lean waist. "Wait - don't stop!"
"I don't think I could stop now even if you wanted me to," he confessed in a throaty drawl, pressing himself against her firmly, so she knew just what his intentions were.
"I swear I'll murder you if you do." Her fingers absently, nervously massaged his shoulders.
He smiled slightly against her neck, feeling her shiver. "This may prove to be a bit difficult to accomplish with my trousers in the way," he felt moved to point out.
The kneading movement of her fingers stopped, and she dropped her legs with an embarrassed sounding, "Oh."
He slid down her body, listening to her breath catch as his warm, furred chest brushed along the sensitive points of her breasts, and then he skillfully removed the last barrier of fabric between them.
"Severus, now…please don't make me wait any longer," Ginny pleaded huskily in the darkness. "I can't stand it – "
"Slowly," he whispered into her ear softly, reaching to entwine his fingers with hers against the sheets.
"Slowly later," she said insistently, turning her head to catch his mouth with hers. "I need you now." Her fingers tightened around his, and her tongue innocently brushed his lower lip. "I need you."
"Well…if you must insist…"
He slipped his hand down between their bodies, and touched her tender flesh softly, catching her sudden, broken little cries with his lips. "Tell me you love me, Ginny. Tell me again, just this once - let me hear you say it…"
"I'll tell you it every day if you'll let me," she breathed, arching against him with an impatient sound.He didn't answer, didn't allow himself to think beyond her, or that moment…he only increased the pressure of his stroking fingers and gently but persistently pushed himself forward, sinking into her tight, silken heat inch by precious inch. His head dropped into the curve of her shoulder, and his arms trembled as he held his full weight away from her.
"Tell me, Ginny."
Her breath caught on a moan as he slowly rocked against her, easing his path. "I love you, Severus. I'll always love you…"
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She wasn't ready to wake up yet, but something was nagging at her, worrying there, just at the edge of her consciousness.
The first thing Ginny noticed when she dared to opened one bleary, tired eye, was that she was not in the Infirmary.
The bed she lay in was not her lumpy cot in the hospital wing – she knew this because, to her knowledge, Poppy Pomfrey had never placed exquisitely embroidered black velvet coverlets on the beds.
Instinctively she swept a hand across the mattress beside her and was promptly rewarded with chill emptiness. Despair pulled at her heart, and she rolled over onto her side, pushing her face against a plump pillow infused with the unlikely scent of sunshine.
The room was utterly silent, and her instinct told her Severus was long gone.
Ginny clenched her eyes shut tightly for a moment, willing herself not to be disappointed, and then sat up in the bed, wincing slightly as she felt a twinge in the muscles of her thighs, and an unfamiliar tenderness.
That was when she noticed the small vial of clear liquid standing on the bedside table, along with a glass of water and a hastily scrawled note.
She picked up the small piece of parchment, her stomach twisting itself into knots. She took a deep, calming breath, blinking away sleep as she tried to focus, and read.
Ginny –
Here is the new treatment I promised you – dose yourself as usual. I think you will find it much more effective. The water itself contains a pain killer – it will soothe any aches you may be experiencing.
~ S.S.
The parchment disintegrated with a soft poof in her hands as she finished reading the carefully impersonal note.
That was all? No, 'Hello, I do hope you're all right', no, 'darling, you were wonderful'? Not even a, 'Hey, you were ruddy great, let's get together and make the beast with two backs again some time'?
Ginny sighed. In his defense, he had warned her, after all. He'd said it himself, that he wouldn't be there when she woke up. Plus, it was asking too much to hear an endearment or two come from his lips – even after the night they'd shared. She found herself thinking back on it, remembering her loss of control with flaming cheeks.
Her hand shook as she reached for the glass beside her, and she gulped at the liquid thirstily. True to his note, the feelings of soreness and the discomfort of unused muscles faded quickly.
Feeling better, at least physically, Ginny searched out her damp pajamas and cloak, and quickly decided to make herself scarce – she'd die of embarrassment if she ran into him just now, after all the things she'd said, all the things she'd done…but she honestly couldn't bring herself to regret a moment of it.
Later. She needed time to sort things out, and to guard herself against the defensive, inevitable backlash from Severus. There was very little doubt in her mind that things were about to get extremely ugly.
Ginny found herself turning back at the entrance to the bedroom, despite herself. Her gaze landed on a familiar white shirt thrown across the end of the bed, and she closed her eyes for a moment, rewarded with a glimpse of a memory…disdainful, endlessly black eyes half-hidden by damp strands of silky dark hair…what wouldn't she give to just have him embrace her for a just a minute longer, as he had last night…
Tears burned at the backs of her eyes, and she felt her throat close.
A clock from one of the quiet rooms down the hall rang out suddenly, announcing the hour, startling her and making her reach instinctively for her wand, which of course was still up in the hospital wing.
Feeling tremendously worn, she turned away from warm invitation of the rumpled tester bed and made her way from the too silent rooms, mindful of any watchful eyes.
Yes…later would be soon enough.
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"Good morning, Severus. I trust you had a – memorable evening."
Severus threw a dark look at a smug looking Minerva McGonagall, who seemed to have reappeared again overnight. Interestingly enough, Bertie Dumbledore seemed to have up and disappeared.
"It was…uneventful," he lied easily enough, suspicion rearing its head. "And your trip – I trust you tied up your business?"
The older woman pursed her lips and eyed him slyly over the tops of her square spectacles. "I would say so – unfortunately I have yet to see if my efforts proved to be completely successful."
Severus narrowed his eyes into slits as he regarded her in slowly building fury. "Just who do you think you're fooling, Minerva?" he hissed. "Or should I call you Bertie? Just what were you trying to prove, deceiving me in that manner?"
"Perhaps the fact that there is blood running in those veins of yours instead of ice water," the Transfigurations teacher commented unrepentantly.
"Snape, if you weren't acting like such a right bastard I'd almost say you've the look of a man who just got laid," a familiar, much hated voice sounded lowly near his ear.
A hand clapped him roughly on the shoulder, and Severus, summoning up every last bit of icy control he possessed, turned to see Sirius Black smirking at him unrepentantly.
"Who had the exceptionally appalling lack of judgment to allow you back in here, Black?" he snarled nastily, clenching his fist.
"Ahem – that would be me, Severus," Albus Dumbledore announced solemnly around his goblet from down the table, with a hint of amusement coloring his voice.
"Good old Snape – always could count on you to drop one hell of a clanger," Sirius chuckled, and then the man had the presumptuousness to drop his worthless arse into Ginny's chair!
Ginny – just the thought of her sent renewed fury to the snarl twisting his lips. She'd been right about one thing, he'd discovered when he'd lain awake beside her early that morning, waiting for the dawn. She had made him feel – he never had forgiven her for it. And now…
"How did you come here?" He broke out of his reverie with a frustrated growl.
"On my legs, how do you think?" Sirius told him cheekily, his dark eyes twinkling in rare good humor. He popped a handful of plump white grapes into his mouth and began chewing enthusiastically. "Come on, Snape – it's nearly Christmas. Let's cry pax, shall we?"
"Oh, yes, let's – and then where will I be when that damnable luck of yours rears it's ugly head and lands the whole of the school in yet 'another' life endangering adventure?"
"I beg your pardon," Sirius said indignantly, "I had nothing to do with any of the past occurrences that happened around here when I was conveniently present. Its coincidence, pure coincidence is what it was – "
"You mean to tell me that after all these years, you still think that your propensity for disaster is completely unintentional?" Severus looked at the other man in disgust and then returned his attention to McGonagall. "I'm sorry to inform you, madam, that your little attempt at matchmaking has yielded nothing."
"Matchmaking? With who? Who could be that unfortunate -" Sirius leaned forward interestedly, and Severus could almost see his ears perking.
"Sod off. It's none of your business, Black – " he began heatedly, only to cut himself off as he caught a glimpse of long red curls out the corner of his eye. He turned despite his best efforts, and felt the sight of Ginny entering the great hall hit him as a blow to the stomach.
Sirius gave a low wolf whistle from beside him, and then cleared his throat. "Hell, that's the most unlikely pairing I've ever seen."
Severus jerked his head around to glare down his nose at the animagi. "What are you on about?"
"It's obvious, isn't it? You and her – that saucy looking redhead – you've been doing the bad thing, eh? It's about ruddy time, I have to say." Sirius shook his shaggy dark head and grinned lopsidedly. "Don't know what she sees in you, though, Snape."
Dark brows snapped together in a threatening frown. "There's nothing going on between professor Weasley and I," he informed him with quiet menace.
"Liar." Sirius replied, apparently unconcerned. "Wait. Weasley, eh?" He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then exclaimed, "Not Ginny Weasley? That's Ginny Weasley?" Sirius sat forward in his chair as the curvaceous little redhead approached, his dark eyes regarding her with growing awareness. "Did she grow up right! Picking 'em a bit young though, aren't you Snape? Not that I can blame you – she's a dish."
"Kindly shut up, Black. Stop talking about things you have no idea about. You're wasting the oxygen." Severus studiously avoided Ginny's warm gaze as she drew nearer, and determinedly picked up his coffee. "You're welcome to her."
"I always knew you were dim in ways, Snape, but I never thought of you as being just outright stupid. It's faint – but your bloody scent is all over that girl. If she doesn't belong to you, then my name isn't Sirius Black," the other man muttered knowingly in his ear, and he clapped another hand on his suddenly stiff shoulder before standing to greet Ginny and hand her into her seat.
"Ah, Ginny – feeling better this morning, I see," Albus commented as Sirius released her hand.
"Much, thank you," she answered softly, though the cheeriness of her reply sounded very forced to Severus's trained ear. "It's good to see you back, Minerva. Are you well?"
"Very. And you?"
"Er…well, I'm fine," Ginny began, "Professor Snape kindly lent his services to me last evening, and without his particular – talent, I fear I would have been much longer in recovering from my illness," she finished sweetly.
Sirius, who'd just taken a seat down from them, next to a silent, slightly nauseous looking Harry Potter, made a disbelieving choking noise.
Severus nearly dropped his coffee before he recovered himself and turned his eyes on her fiercely, making sure she knew he did not appreciate her cheek. "That particular potion," he stressed, "was actually quite simple to create. I'm – pleased to see you in such great spirits this morning, professor."
"How could I not be?" she asked him with a grin, her brown eyes twinkling.
Minerva McGonagall coughed delicately, and turned away pointedly to engage the chuckling headmaster in conversation.
Ginny was teasing him! He stared at her flushed cheeks, and slightly bruised lips, and actually took pride for a moment, in knowing that he had been the one to put such life into her expression.
"E-excuse me, professor?"
Severus tore his attention away from Ginny's lovely face with an intolerant scowl.
Ashley Primmer stood before him, other side of the table, along with a cowed looking Kayla Parkinson. The Sedley brat and Jakoby Barr stopped behind them.
"What do you want, boy?" He was in no mood to deal with Ginny's love struck follower. What he really wanted to do was line Albus and Minerva up for some painful hexing!
"We wanted to apologize to Professor Weasley, sir."
Ginny leaned forward, a questioning frown on her face. "Apologize?"
Ashley cleared his throat, and elbowed Kayla, who turned bright red in the face took a stumbling step forward.
"Er – I'm really sorry, professor," the flustered girl began sincerely. "I-I really mucked things up. See, I was the one who started all those rumors about you and Professor Snape, but I wasn't trying to cause any harm, honestly."
Severus made a caustic sound of disbelief.
"I guess I just…liked having everyone's attention," Kayla finished miserably. "I'm sorry that I made you feel badly, especially with you being ill and all." She looked up at him and bit her lip. "You were right Professor Snape."
He straightened in his seat uncomfortably as he felt Ginny's gaze rest on him momentarily. He wanted the brat to shut up, but his usual silencing glare was alarmingly unsuccessful at doing this.
"We just want you to know, we think you're a really excellent teacher, professor," Jakoby spoke up, her voice earnest.
"Yeah, and the whole no homework thing really rocks," Sedley added with his usual lack of tact.
"We're really glad you're feeling better," Ashley said quickly, before pushing his glasses up on his nose and dragging his friends away.
"It's almost too bad you know," Sedley's mournful voice drifted back. "I was looking forward to Harry again today."
"And just where do you get off calling him Harry, Zander?"
"What are you talking about, Jak? We're like this!"
"He shakes Harry Potter's hand one time and see what happens?"
"You're just jealous…"
A hand settled on his sleeve, and he turned his attention back to Ginny.
"What was all that about? Did you talk to them?" She wrinkled her nose. "You gave them all detention, didn't you?"
"If you could have heard the nonsense they were spouting you'd have given them detention as well," he muttered crossly, giving the small hand on his black sleeve a pointed look. He stood up, and without another word, exited the hall.
A series of small patters on the stones behind him told him Ginny was on his heels, and he stopped with an impatient growl.
She stepped around to stand in front of him, blocking his way. "I know what you're thinking, Severus."
His eyes leapt up to hers. "Strangely I do not wonder at your assumption – pray, tell me just what it is I am thinking, Miss Weasley."
"It's not over between us. We're not through. I know how you really feel about me, and you're only acting this way because you're afraid to feel – "
All at once his patience snapped. He rose slowly to his full height, until he loomed over her like a great dark shadow.
"Thank you for judging me so graciously, professor – but I'll ask you not to presume to know anything about me. As you seem unable to separate fact from fiction in that doubtless brilliant mind of yours, I'll take this opportunity to correct you on a few things. I did not encourage you to shower me with your affections, nor did I ask to be analyzed. I did not profess my undying love and I did not make you any promises. You say I have 'feelings' for you – well, if you do have a brain in that head of yours, it cannot much avail you, or you would have known by now that my actions and my words are not those of a man who cares. Now, I have a class to get to, with your permission," he finished sneeringly, and turned away, ignoring the stricken look on her face.
She was deadly wrong, he thought to himself furiously as he made his way down into the dimly lit depths of the castle. It was over. It was more than over between them.
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"I never thought you'd be such a coward as to run."
Ginny paused in her whirlwind movements and shot a weary, red-eyed glance at the doorway of her bedroom. She couldn't talk. It was late evening, and she had to get moving or else she'd miss the train from Hogsmeade to her dissapparating point.
"Go away, Harry. I'm not in the mood to talk right now," she said tonelessly, throwing her dress robes carelessly into her worn trunk.
"You can't just leave. Ginny, I'm not blind – I know what…must have happened last night." His voice turned severe. "Did he hurt you? I'll - "
Ginny shook her head violently. "No. He didn't do anything I didn't want him to, Harry." She stopped again, and turned fully to face him. "I'm in love with him. He doesn't feel the same –he won't – I finally realized it. He wants me, but he doesn't 'love' me. I don't know what made me think he could. I just – I can't stay here any longer, Harry. I can't look at him every day and know…he doesn't -" she covered her aching eyes with one unsteady hand. "I have to go."
"You love it, here, Ginny. Teaching at Hogwarts is all I've ever heard you talk about since you left school – "
"Because of him!" Ginny shouted, her voice breaking. She dropped her hand and shook her head at him as her eyes filled with hot tears. "I wanted to teach here because of him, all right? I - everything I've done, everywhere I've gone, I did it because I wanted to be worthy of him! I wanted his approval, and I'll never get it! I wanted to be near him! Thought – I thought if I could impress him, if I could make a name for myself, show him I was more than clumsy little Ginny Weasley, he might come to care for me. " Her face red, her hair wild and disheveled, she slammed the trunk lid closed, and snatched up her wand, her entire body trembling. She pulled her heavy traveling cloak tight around her shoulders, and pulled her hair out from beneath the collar.
Harry stared at her, green eyes wide. "I …before last night, I never knew! I mean, I never even suspected – "
"Who would have, really?" Ginny bit her lip, and then smiled tremulously. "It's ridiculous, isn't it? The very thought! Me and Severus Snape…"
"Don't go, Ginny," Harry said pleadingly. "I'm worried about you – where will you go? The students – they'll miss you terribly – "
"Oh, Harry." She looked at the distressed young man with a shaky shrug. "They've barely gotten used to me. No one will be heart-broken over the fact that I'm leaving. This – it just wasn't meant to be. There's no point in my staying, now. The whole reason…don't get me wrong, I love Hogwarts – but I can't look at him everyday, now! It was bad enough when I was just a student, and he positively loathed me, and – a-and - I just can't! I'm sorry – I have to go now. I've already spoken with Dumbledore."
"That's it? You're just leaving?"
"You'll be able to take over the D.A.D.A. class until Albus can find a suitable replacement, won't you?" Ginny shrank her trunk down until it could fit easily in her worn leather traveling bag, and she swung it over her shoulder. Her wand was slipped into its familiar place up her sleeve, and she hurried towards the door, only to have Harry catch her arm.
"Ginny, please change your mind. Something can be done – "
But she only patted his hand absently, trying and failing to smile at him reassuringly. "It'll be all right, Harry. Thank you for being my friend. I'm sorry about Christmas, I was looking forward to spending it with you, here, but I'm…needed at the borders again. Those bloody Red-Caps are increasing numbers this season. They've been having trouble with them already. I - I'll owl you." Reaching up on tiptoe, she landed a swift kiss on his cheek and whirled away, nearly running in her haste to exit the castle.
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Severus was walking from the great hall that evening when he caught sight of Ginny racing down the main stairs at breakneck speed.
At first glance he thought that perhaps she was just in a hurry – and indeed, she was – but then he noticed the worn traveling cloak across her shoulders, the heavy satchel slung over her slender shoulder, and realization hit him.
She was running , alright – away. Leaving…
"Yeah, she's leaving. Didn't you know? Tendered her resignation to Dumbledore himself this morning."
He turned his head slightly to see Black standing behind him. "Speaking of - are you ever going to leave?"
"Stuck with this old dog for the holidays, I'm afraid – but you should be happy, eh, Snape? You'll get the Defense Against The Dark Arts job for sure, now that she's gone." Sirius smirked at him, his dark eyes cold and hard, before he moved away.
"Right…happy."
Severus watched a clearly distraught Ginny disappear through an archway into the night beyond, and then found himself following her.
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Ginny was standing in the light snowfall at the edge of the Hogsmeade station platform, lost in absolute heart break and misery when a movement at her side made her glance up.
"Severus?" Her heart leapt in hope.
The tall, dark potions master stood before her, his long black hair, and wide, cloak covered shoulders dusted with snow. However, the look on his cruelly handsome face made her fluttering heart drop to the pit of her stomach with an ear-piercing crack.
"Just what in the hell, may I ask, do you think you are doing?"
Everything inside her instantly curled up like a kicked puppy at the vehemence in his tone. So much for thinking maybe he'd changed his mind about them.
"I'm – I've been asked to head a task-force – "
"Don't bother lying," he bit out, making her drop her eyes. "You're leaving because of me, aren't you? Because of what I said this morning?"
"No! I'm just – needed elsewhere," she murmured lamely.
"Liar."
She looked up again, frowning fiercely. "What do you care? I'll be out of your hair, not trailing along after you anymore – I thought that was what you wanted. Isn't it?"
"What I want, is for you to stop acting like a child and haul your infuriating little arse back up to the school!" he barked at her.
"Why? Why do you want me to stay? Why when it's more than obvious to everyone – including me, now – that you can't stand me?"
"Quit saying stupid things – I can't stand anyone, isn't that quite apparent?"
"Oh, of course! Do you always sleep with people you can't stand, Severus?"
"That was – a mistake." He took a small step back from her.
"And that is why I'm leaving! Do you think I can take being around you every day knowing how you feel, knowing how you taste – "
"Stop it – "
"- and knowing you're disgusted by the memory of it?" Ginny heard the train coming, and turned away as if drew up to the platform, warm steam billowing across her legs. "I can't live like that, Severus.," she said over the lapping of the train wheels. "I love you, and I always will – but I can't stand back and watch you hate me for it forever."
"Damn it, Ginny – I don't hate you – "
"Hogsmeade Super Express – train leaves in two minutes! Two minutes before last whistle!"Ginny stepped forward resolutely as the doors slid open on the train. She felt tears rolling down her cold cheeks again, and raised her gloved hands to hurriedly swipe them away. A pair of rotund little witches exited, twittered excitedly at the sight of the dark, lean man standing on the platform, and giggled like school girls as they collected their baggage.
Ginny stepped through the doors, onto the train, and though she tried very hard not to, she ended up turning around to face Severus before the doors closed.
"I'll miss you," she told him, giving up any pretense of pride, knowing this would be the last time she saw him. "I – just…take care of yourself, Snape."
She watched his jaw tighten, and his black gloved hands fist at his sides. He seemed as if he might say something, but then he only nodded stiffly, his dark eyes glittering broodingly.
Ginny found herself smiling sadly. "I guess you won that bet Albus was telling me about, after all."
The potions master frowned. "What bet?"
She leaned forward slightly and reached out to lightly touch the back of his hand. Then a piercing whistle sounded in the cold air, and she pulled back as the doors began to slowly slide closed. "I really didn't last the year, did I?"
For the first time since she'd ever met him, a look resembling remorse creased his dark brow – and then the doors snapped firmly shut, and the train began moving.
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To Be Continued…
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A/N: No, he's not chasing after her, geez…well, he might go after her, but not for the reason you might think…maybe. At any rate, old Sev's not giving in that easily, give him some credit…