Chapter Ten:
Time of Death, 2:15
"Hey kids! I'm here in the kitchen." I heard my mom great us from around the corner as we opened the front door.
"Here goes nothing," I thought, as we joined her.
Grabbing me in a hug, she continued. "You're father, I'm telling you! He arrives here, and what's the first thing that he does? Questions my barbequing abilities and heads outside to go check everything out. Landon, would you mind making sure he has things in-control?"
"Sure thing."
As I headed towards the patio, I saw her hug Jamie. "Jamie, don't you have such a rosy glow about you today. …"
I strained my ears to hear more of their conversation but my attention was quickly diverted by the smoke screen quickly forming right outside the sliding doors. "Dad, what are you doing?" I managed to choke out.
"I think the flame might have gotten a bit too hot." He was fervently swatting at the smoke.
"Ahh, I see." I put my arm on his shoulder. "Happy Father's Day, Dad."
"Landon, you don't know how many years I have waited to hear you say that. Thank you." He smiled.
The smoke slowly cleared, revealing the dismal scene. It was no longer possible to determine what was originally charcoal and what had started out as our dinner. Turning to him, I laughed, "Time of death, 2:15."
"What's going on out there? Do I see smoke?" I could hear my mom inquiring from indoors.
I stepped over to the door, peaking my head inside. I could see that Reverend Sullivan had arrived, and Jamie had given him his card. "Hello, Reverend. It's nice to see you. Well, Mom… Let me put it to you this way: I just declared time of death – Dad is definitely no Doctor Barbeque."
Even with the meat mishap, there was plenty of food, and we all really enjoyed getting the opportunity to spend time together.
Noticing that Jamie had hardly ate a thing, I leaned over and whispered, "Are you doing ok?"
She smiled and nodded. "I'm just a little queasy, that's all," she mouthed in reply. "Mrs. Carter, can I help you clear the table."
"That would be lovely, thank you." My mom was already starting to load the dishwasher. "I was thinking that when we're done here, you, Landon, and I could run to the grocery store for some ice cream and let the fathers relax."
"I think that's a great idea, but don't you think that Landon should stay here then?" She winked at me from the kitchen.
Every hair on my neck was standing up. "She did not just say that!" I looked around, hoping that no one had picked up on her implication. "This is not the way to tell them, Jamie!"
"Maybe you're right. It would be nice for the two of us to have some time to chat." My mom put her arm around her shoulder as they left.
"Whew! That was too close!" I quickly regained my composure. "Reverend Sullivan, I want to thank you."
"For what?" he asked me with a quizzical look.
"For Jamie," I continued. "I want to thank you for raising such an amazing daughter. Everyday she amazes me more and more with her strength, her faith, and her inner-beauty. Being a single-father couldn't have been an easy job, but … you excelled at it. I will always admire that about you."
"Thank you, Landon. It means a lot to hear you say that." His eyes had grown misty. "I must admit though, when I first heard that Jamie's mother and I were expecting, I had all of these grand notions about how great fatherhood was going to be with my wife by my side. When I had to bring Jamie home from the hospital without her, it was as if each and every one of those dreams was crushed before my very eyes."
"Lord, why is he sharing this? I can't bear to hear it – it's just too painful." I could feel myself choking up as I prayed that he would stop.
He didn't. "Just looking at that little baby girl, though – now that was enough to make anyone dream big – even me." He managed a smile through his tears.
I handed him a tissue. "I know Jamie sure has made me dream big."
"Good dreams, I hope." I looked up to see Jamie standing in the doorway with my mother, a smile gracing her face.
"Naturally." I got up from the table hugging her from behind. "I missed you," I mumbled into her ear.
Turning around, her lips brushed up against mine. "I missed you."
By this time, my mom was already dishing up the ice cream. "Why don't we have dessert in the living room? We'll be a little more comfortable in there."
As we all headed towards the living room, Jamie's grip on my arm tightened and her pace slowed as she reoriented herself. When she realized that everyone had noticed, she was quick to recover, "What can I say; Landon still makes my world spin."
They laughed, but it was obvious that they were still questioning it as they looked between themselves. It was as if they were mentally drawing straws, seeing who would have to be the one to ask the obvious. My mom lost. "I heard you had a doctor's appointment this past week. How did that go? Are these signs of your cancer advancing?"
Jamie looked at me with a question on her face, and I instantly knew what she wanted to do – she wanted to tell them. "There really is no way out of this one, is there?" I gently nodded my head as I wrapped her hand in mine, showing her my support, while butterflies sprung up in my stomach
"Well, actually…" her voice started out in hushed tones before she gained confidence and continued. "No. Luckily, in my case they aren't a sign of my leukemia progressing. … Instead … they indicate a new pregnancy," her eyes locked on mine as she finished. A peaceful smile resting upon her face, it was obvious she was relieved to have been able to share the news.
The room became speechless, and I'm sure everyone could hear the sound of my heart beating harder and harder as I waited for someone to say something… anything. My mother and father were looking at each other, their eyes wide in surprise. Reverend Sullivan was looking at Jamie and then at me, shaking his head in disbelief.
Minutes passed. Nothing was said. Reverend Sullivan had shifted in his seat and was now staring out the window, his hand brought up to his face. "Lord, do something. Please."
"Do you think this is what Landon and I planned?" Jamie suddenly spoke out, and I was surprised to see her truly angry. I had never seen her this angry (ok… I had seen her like this once before – on her front porch after I had insulted her in front of my friends, but it was nonetheless unexpected). "Do you really think that in the general course of conversation we decided that dealing with my health wasn't enough and that we wanted to start a family when the future already seemed so uncertain? Well, I can assure you that it didn't."
With that, everyone was looking at Jamie, listening to her every word. I looked on with amazement at the strength she was showing. I had been so afraid to tell them, yet she had done it with such ease and was now having no difficulty standing up for our new family. "… Our new family …"
Jamie turned to look me in the eyes before she continued. "Landon and I are content in knowing that all of this is in the Lord's plan, and are actually truly happy about this." We exchanged smiles. While some of the anger had left her voice, her words were just as passionate. "How can anything that results from the love that Landon and I have for each other be wrong?"
My fingers were lifting a tear that had spilt down her face when Reverend Sullivan got out of his seat. "Oh great – here it comes. He's going to lunge out for me any second now!" I held my breath, awaiting the inevitable. Instead, he thanked my mother for dinner and headed for the door. He paused only momentarily, turning around to say, "So Landon, this is how you took care of my little girl?" The door banged loudly as it shut.
I felt black-and-blue. Those words hurt me more deeply than any punch could have. Jamie squeezed my hand, trying to console me. "I told you we should have waited until we had the baby between us and them," I whispered, somehow trying to make light of the situation. Hearing her quiet laughter in response was the best reassurance I could have received.
The next thing I knew, my dad had grabbed me in a hug, my mom hugging Jamie. As he patted me on the back, he showed his support. "Please don't let our astonishment and concern be construed as meaning that we don't love you and aren't proud of you."
"You two definitely know how to keep us on our toes!" my mom winked at me. "And Jamie, nothing but blessings have come out of the love you and Landon share thus far, so I expect nothing less in this case."
Turning in for bed that night, I knew Jamie had been right about telling our parents right away. There was a definite sense of relief, knowing it was all out in the open, yet the weight Jamie's father had placed on me remained. "At least Reverend Sullivan now has eight-and-a-half months to try to find it in his heart to forgive me."
As I closed my eyes, I saw the disappointment on his face, hearing his words echoing in my brain, "So Landon, this is how you took care of my little girl … took care of my little girl … took care of my little girl… my little girl."