Chapter Fifteen:

More Powerful than We Realize

            "Landon, this is a surprise.  It's good to see you."  My dad greeted me from down the hall.  He glanced down at his watch.  "I have lunch in about… five minutes.  Would you want to grab a bite to eat with me?"

            "Sounds good."  I sat back in the chair.  "Ok… you are going to tell him today – face to face.  No excuses.  No matter how much it might disappoint him, he needs to know," I tried to convince myself. 

In the few weeks that had passed, Jamie had been encouraging me to talk to him about my change in schools.  Truth be told, she was doing more than just encouraging me; she was doing practically everything besides speaking the words for me. 

Picking up the phone, she would "mistakenly" dial my dad's phone number and then "realizing her mistake," hand me the phone.  "Landon, I did it again… I'm so sorry.  At least you two have something to talk about," she would smirk.  Before I could even begin to protest he had already answered the phone.  Yet I never brought up the subject.

When I tried to explain to Jamie that I didn't want to tell him over the phone, he amazingly showed up for dinner the next evening.  Much to her dismay, I was a pro at avoiding the topic, dodging it whenever I could feel it coming up.  In that respect, the night was a wonderful success.

That day, she had basically shooed me out of the house.  "Your father takes his lunch at 1:00.  Take him to lunch and tell him.  You're not coming back until you do."

"But…" I started to protest.

"I will change the locks if I have to, so don't push me."  She smiled around the door as she closed it in my face before I could express any further objections.

I stood there momentarily, trying to find a way out of it.  I did not want to go. 

"Landon, I can see you through the peep hole, and you aren't moving."  I could hear her giggles through the door.

Thus, there I was, sitting in the waiting room, wondering how Jamie could be so persistent and calculating just how much I was going to let my father down. 

"Landon."  I looked up to see my dad standing in front of me.  He patted me on the back as I rose from the chair.

A nasal voice came over the intercom.  "Dr. Carter, you're needed in room 114, Dr. Carter." 

            He turned to me, an apology written on his face.  "Do you mind?"

            "No, you have a job to do.  I'll be here."  Sitting back down, I watched him take off down the hall.  His white coat was his life.  Whether he realized it or not, he had just given me the certainty I needed.  "The sacrifice he made to become a doctor was not just a temporary one to get him through school; it was a lifelong sacrifice – not only for himself, but for his family as well. … That's just not the course I want my life to take."

            As I picked up a magazine from the coffee table, I now had the confidence to tell him.  My mind was secure in my decision.  "Thank you, Lord.  What was once blurred, You have focused."

            "Hungry?" my dad asked me as he rushed past me a while later, hanging his white coat in his office.

            "Starving."  I glanced at my watch.  It was now nearly 2:30.

            Sitting down to eat, I didn't have to wait long for my opportunity, and this time I was ready for it.  "So, have you been enjoying your summer?"

            I sighed.  "Dad, enjoy doesn't even begin to describe it. … It amazes me at times.  It's like I've been given the opportunity to be a part of Jamie's world – see what she sees, hear what she hears… feel what she feels… Still, I can't help but wonder what she's thinking when she gets that quite smile of hers or what dreams are floating through her mind while she sleeps beside me."  I looked at him, realizing I was straying from his question.  Embarrassment briefly silenced me before I continued.  "I just don't want the summer to end; I don't want to leave that world… even for a short while."

            He smirked momentarily, then becoming serious.  "But it does have to end.  School's just around the corner.  It's already the middle of August.  UNC starts in … what, two weeks?"

            "Bingo!  There's no avoiding it now."  I took a deep breath before beginning.  "Actually, Dad, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. … I've decided not to attend UNC."

            I could almost swear I saw him smile at the news.  "That doesn't surprise me…  Actually, I almost expected it."

            "What do you mean?"  I was blown away, not understanding in the slightest.

            "When you two told us that Jamie was expecting, I had the feeling that you wouldn't be able to leave her or your baby to make the daily trips to UNC.  Let's just say that you didn't let me down." 

            "So… you're not disappointed in me?"

            He laughed.  "No, Landon.  In fact, I can honestly say that I have a newfound respect for you.  You made a wise and responsible decision, taking into account the needs of not only yourself, but your family as well."  He leaned forward, addressing me head-on, "I mean, you of all people, are aware of the costs that would have been involved.  I did a great job exposing you to those, and I am sorry for that."

            I pulled into the driveway after lunch, still in shock from our conversation.  I was on a high and didn't think the day could get much better.  I unlocked the door and stepped inside.

            Jamie was quick to greet me.  "So… should I allow you to enter the house or should I bring out the locksmith?"

            I only smiled at her, walking up and sitting beside her on the couch.

            "You told him?  What did he say?"

            It was all I could do not to laugh at her enthusiasm.  "He's proud of me…"

            "I could have told you as much… wait, I think I have been these past few weeks …" She leaned over to the coffee table and picked up an envelope, holding it in front of me, just out of my reach.  "Well, you got a little something in the mail today.  It's from a certain college you recently applied to."  Her eyes sparkled.

            I reached for the envelope, but she pulled it back.  "Can I please look at it?" I begged.

            Then she did it – shaking her head, she took off out of the living room and upstairs, letter in hand and a trail of laughter following her through the house.

When I had cornered her in the bedroom, she finally surrendered the letter.  Sitting on the bed, I ripped it open as fast as I could.  I knew just how much was riding on this moment

Apparently, so did Jamie.  She joined me, resting her legs across mine.  Her eyes attempted to read my every expression.

I read the letter several times.  I folded the paper and returned it to its envelope, setting it aside – all the while completely emotionless.

"Well…?"

I took both of her hands in mine before falling back on the bed in relief, bringing her down with me in the process.

She let out a squeal as she fell on top of me.  Her hair brushing my face, she looked down at me.  "Well…?"  Her quiet smile resided on her face.

It was all I could do to whisper, "I … got … in."

Leaning in, Jamie stroked my face, her fingers lingering at each eyelid.  "I guess our dreams might be a little more powerful than we realize."

When at last our lips met, a single coherent thought remained. "No… I don't want to leave this world."