Chapter Nineteen:

A Few Things to Take Care Of

Zipping up my jacket, I stepped outdoors and walked up to the mailbox, bracing myself against the swift, cool breeze.

"You have finally learned."  Turning around, I was startled to see an older man standing directly behind me.  His deep voice blended in with the wind as he spoke.  "Landon, you have finally learned." 

            "Learned what?" I asked, shivering in the cold air.  He had a familiar quality about me that I could not place.

            "To walk by faith, not by sight -- it's 2 Corinthians 5:7.  I'm so pleased to see it in your life."  After patting me on the back, he continued down the street.

            Warmth resided from his touch, as I watched him go on his way.  "Hey," I called after him a moment later, "how do you know my name?"

            He turned, letting out a good chuckle as his face lit up.  "Some things cannot be explained with words, but must be felt with the heart."  He turned to continue, before adding, 'Remember Psalms 42:11:  'I will put my hope in God!  I will praise Him again – my Savior and my God!'  I promise it won't steer you wrong."

            The sunlight was just beginning to peak through the curtains as I fully allowed myself to wake up.  The morning was still young, but no matter how hard I tried to fall back asleep, it evaded me, my mind not being able to forget about the dream.  "'I will praise Him again… I will praise Him again…'"  I knew what I had to do.

            Gently lifting Jamie's arm from where it had been resting across my chest, I tried to carefully slide out of bed without waking her.  Thinking I had done so successfully, I quickly got dressed and was just about to walk out of the door when I heard the sheets rustle.

            "Landon? … Where are you going?" she mumbled as she lifted her head from the pillow and forced her eyes to open.

            I approached the bed.  Tucking a few loose strands of hair behind her ear and kissing her on the temple, I whispered, "Shhh… go back to sleep.  I have a few things to take care of."

            Pulling out of the driveway, I knew right where I was heading.  With each turn, as I neared my destination, my sense of purpose only grew stronger.  Parking the car in the church parking lot, I practically jogged up to the front door, only to find it locked.  I looked at my watch and saw it was only 7:50.  My head leaned up against the door in defeat and frustration.  "I know You want me here… I can feel it."

            "It looks like you could use some help," a deep voice greeted me.  Glancing behind me, I was speechless to see the same old man from my dream.  He was wearing leather gloves and had a rake in his one hand.  "The Lord's house should never be locked, in my opinion."  He slid off one of his gloves and reached into his pocket, pulling out a set of keys and unlocking the door for me as I just stared on, completely unable to speak.

            I struggled to find words.  "Th-thank… y-you…"

            The older man smiled, revealing the same wrinkles that had framed his face before.  He put his glove pack on and headed out into the front lawn, calling back at me as he went,  "Anytime, Landon… anytime."

            I approached the front pew and took a seat.  "You have to keep me on my toes, don't You?" I asked into the empty room.  "Well, that you have this past year.  If you would have told me a year ago, that I would be sitting here on New Years Eve morning as a husband, a soon-to-be father, a Bible school student…"  I laughed.  "Then again, I wasn't even speaking to you a year ago – not until Jamie entered my world and opened my eyes."  I was a little surprised by the conversational tone my prayer had taken, but it seemed right… comfortable.  "To think You had this all laid out for me… You knew that I was going to head down the wrong paths… Yet you never gave up on me, and wouldn't allow me to give up on myself.  You have forgiven me, completely and without question."  I could feel a few tears work their way down my face.  Closing my eyes, a melody came back to me, followed by the words.  Suddenly the full meaning of the song hit me, as I sat there, whispering the lines.

"Find me here.

Speak to me.

I want to feel You.

I need to hear You.

You are the light

That is leading me

To the place where

I find peace again.

You are the strength

That keeps me walking.

You are the hope

That keeps me trusting.

You are the life to my soul.

You are my purpose.

You are everything.

And how can I

Stand here with You

And not be moved by You?

Would you tell me

How could it be

Any better than this?

You calm the storms.

You give me rest.

You hold me in your hands.

You won't let me fall.

 You still my heart.

And You take my breath away.

Would you take me in?

Would You take me deeper now?

Because You're all I want

You are all I need.

You are everything.

Everything.

["Everything," Lifehouse]

            I then sat in the silence, drinking it up.  My spirit was lifted and I was set free.  I marveled in the peace that had consumed me.

            "Landon?  Is that you?"

            I nearly jumped off the pew at the sound.  The voice was unmistakable.  Turning around I saw Reverend Sullivan standing at the rear of the church with Mr. Putnam and Mr. Harvey, two of the church elders.  While I definitely was curious how long they had been standing there, I was not embarrassed for anything they might have overheard.

            "I'm sorry to startle you, Landon.  It just surprised me to see you here in the locked church."  He was approaching me, his set of keys still in his hand from unlocking the front door.

            I laughed nervously as I replied, "Well, the older gentleman who does the church's yard maintenance let me in."

            The three men looked between themselves with confused looks, only making my apprehension grow.  Finally Mr. Harvey spoke up, "Landon, we don't have anyone doing our yard maintenance.  Plus, it's the dead of winter – what is there to maintain?"

            Standing there dumbfounded, goosebumps rising on my arms.  "Now that, I didn't see coming…"

            Minutes passed before anyone spoke.  It was Mr. Putnam who first got the courage.  "So what brought you to church this early in the morning?"

            I thought back to the verse from the dream before answering.  "I wanted to come to praise God… to thank Him…"

            "For anything in particular?" Reverend Sullivan asked.

            I smiled.  "For a wife who I fall more in love with with each passing day, who seems to know me better than I know myself, and who never gives up on me. … For a daughter who I haven't actually met yet, but who I already love more than life itself and who I know is going to bring so much joy into my life. … And of course … for hope, which is always enough to keep me going."  I paused to think before continuing, "What don't I have to thank Him for is a much better question – you would get a much briefer answer." Shaking their hands, I excused myself, not wanting to get in the way of their work. 

            "Mrs. Williams, how are you doing this morning?" I asked as I entered her small shop across town.

            "I'm doing just fine, Landon.  And yourself?" she chimed in from the back room, peeking her head through the window in the wall.

            "Never been better."  I leaned against the counter.  "So how's my special request coming?"

            "I just finished it yesterday… You know, I have to confess that when you approached me after church to have me do this, I was caught quite off guard."  She came around the corner, a box in hand.  Lifting the lid, she pulled them out for me to inspect them.

            One look at the pale yellow fabric and tiny blue flowers sprinkled across it, and I knew it was perfect.  I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet.

            "No, no, no… you put that back." 

            "But I haven't paid you yet…" I objected.

            She was bent down under the counter, trying to find a bow for the package.  "And you're not going to.  Consider it my gift to you and Jamie." 

            "I don't know what to say…"

            Smiling, she handed me the package.  "You don't have to say a thing, Landon.  Just realize people are really proud of you and the choices you are making with your life."

When I returned home, all of the blinds were still closed and the house was dark.  I knew Jamie still had to be asleep. 

I walked into the kitchen to grab some orange juice, only to find the light on the answering machine flashing.  Sitting down at the counter, glass in hand, I pushed play.

            "This is Nancy from Dr. Nelson's office calling.  The doctor has expressed a desire to talk to either one of you if you have the time to drop by his office this morning.  He says it will be brief.  Thank you."

            "What would he want to talk to us for?  We were just in his office a few days ago.  Why can't it wait until our next appointment?"  My mind went through a million scenarios, trying to deduce the intentions of the call.  As much as I wanted to wait on Jamie to wake up to head over, my curiosity got the best of me.  I had soon erased the message and left, driving straight for his office.

            Walking into the doctor's office, I tried to fight the growing apprehension.  Nancy instructed that I go and wait in his office and he would be right in to talk to me.  "Okay… I really should have waited for Jamie… I am far too nervous to be doing this on my own…"

            "Landon," Dr. Nelson greeted me from the door a few minutes later.  He walked over and took a seat at his desk before he continued.  "I really don't know how to say this…"