Reunited: It Doesn't Feel so Good
Phillip and Chloe stood in the hallway, staring at each other. Phillip smiled slightly, waiting for Chloe to reciprocate. Instead, he was greeted with looks of worry, guilt, and sadness. As he cautiously stepped closer to her, she backed away, inching closer to the dining room.
Ph: (hurt) Chloe… why are you afraid of me?
Ch: (coolly) I'm not afraid of you.
Ph: Then, are you angry with me?
Ch: Hardly, Phillip.
Ph: (stepping closer) Well, you're acting like you are, backing away from me…
Ch: (gently holding him back) Trust me, Phillip, I'm not.
Ph: (inching closer) I'm glad to hear it…
Ch: Although… I can't lie to you… you make me very nervous.
Ph: (studying her face) Judging from your face… I won't bother to ask 'In what way?' Chloe… I'm sorry…
Ch: For what?
Ph: For upsetting you. Believe me, you were the last person I expected to see tonight.
Ch: (under her breath) I could say the same thing…
Ph: You know that I wouldn't hurt you, deliberately, don't you?
Ch: (uncomfortable) Yes, Phillip, I do.
Ph: Chloe, I…
Ch: Phillip… wait. You don't have a reason to apologize to me… although your behavior, over the last few months… calling me everyday, sending me gifts, driving past my house, at night…
Ph: Chloe…
Ch: … although I can't prove it was you. Many people have the same kind of car as you, but the calls and gifts…
Ph: Chloe… all I was trying to do was…
Ch: Show me how much you cared?
Ph: Yes.
Ch: But Phillip, I told you that I needed time to think…
Ph: I know, Chloe, but…
Ch: You interpreted it as me, needing like… a day, because from then on, I was bombarded by daily phone calls.
Ph: I'm sorry, Chloe.
Ch: I don't need your apologies now, but I needed your cooperation, then. Just because you were anxious, impatient, even desperate, it didn't detract from my need for time. So… we both took measures to get what we needed. (sadly) Whatever residual damage that occurred… it's done.
Ph: What 'damage', Chloe? From where I stand, I was only trying to reconnect with you. Although the way I went about it was a nuisance, I hardly see it as damaging or detrimental to what we have. And you, not contacting me… yes, it was hurtful, but hardly something I held against you. But what I don't understand is… you said that you wanted to be my friend, but your actions, over the last few months, proved otherwise.
Ch: (sighing) You're right, Phillip.
Ph: (approaching her) Chloe…
Ch: (holding him back) But what about your behavior, Phillip? The way you acted… you tried to bulldoze your way into areas of my life that few people are allowed. That's not the actions of a friend, either, at least, not the kind of friend I need or want.
Ph: Chloe, I'm…
Ch: (exasperated) Please, do not apologize. Just don't do it again.
Ph: I'll try not to be so… pushy.
Ch: That's all I want.
Ph: That's all?
Ch: Yes.
Ph: (disappointed) Oh.
Ch: (reluctantly) But I would also like to be friends with you.
Ph: Friends?
Ch: Uh-huh… like me and Shawn.
Ph: (skeptical) Like you and Shawn?
Ch: Yes.
Ph: (under his breath) It's funny that you would say Shawn and not…
Ch: What?
Ph: Never mind. So I'm supposed to observe the same parameters as Shawn, meaning no kissing, no touching… basically nothing?
Ch: (insulted) 'Basically nothing' is not the way I'd describe Shawn and I. All I mean is… strictly platonic, nothing romantic.
Ph: What about hugging? Am I allowed to hug you?
Ch: (uneasy) It depends…
Ph: Because I haven't seen you for a while. Doesn't that warrant a hug?
Chloe looked uncomfortable.
Ph: (softly) I guess not. (trying to smile) You realize that this is going to be difficult for me.
Ch: It's what I want, Phillip. And if you can't respect that, then… we have nothing.
Ph: (dejected) Fine… all I can do is try.
Ch: Thank you.
Ph: But I am curious about something, Chloe.
Ch: (looking up) What?
Ph: I'm just wondering… what situation would warrant me making weeknight visits to your house, having the privilege of you, driving my car, while I feed you fruit?
Ch: (eyes flashing) What?
Ph: (indignant) Or maybe 'weeknight visits' is an overstatement, since I saw Brady's jeep on your driveway, that one week…
Ch: (exasperated) I can't believe you…
Ph: … ever since then, I've been grounded.
Ch: (getting angry) And that was my fault?
Ph: (defensive) I didn't say that, Chloe…
Ch: Phillip, just spit it out! You saw me with Brady, this morning, didn't you?
Ph: (getting angry) In front of dot.com, where everyone saw you two…
Ch: (dismissive) It was hardly 'everyone' It was just you.
Ph: (insulted) 'Just me'? Me, seeing you two, like that, was one person too many… although, technically, I didn't see you two.
Ch: Didn't you?
Ph: No.
Ch: Well, I should've figured as much. I didn't get my daily phone call or frantic message from you, laced with guilt and hostility…
Ph: (terse) Why were you with him?
Ch: (defiant) I'm not going to answer that, until you tell me who told you about me and Brady.
Ph: (avoiding eye contact) It doesn't matter.
Ch: Apparently it does, since you saw fit to throw it in my face.
Ph: Just tell me why you were with him?
Ch: (coolly) I won't discuss 'him'… Brady, with you.
Ph: Well, I'm not telling you who told me about you and…
Ch: (defiant) Brady… you know, you shouldn't have trouble, remembering your nephew's name…
Ph: And you shouldn't have trouble remembering that he's my nephew.
Ch: … and my friend.
Ph: (condescending) Yes, he is your friend, but not like the type of friend Shawn is or the type of friend you want me to be, right?
Ch: (simmering) Phillip…
Ph: (sarcastic) What am I saying? He is your 'best friend', meaning that he gets 'special' privileges, at least, that's what he just proclaimed, in front of God and Tuscany…
Ch: (frustrated) You know… there are worse things he could've said, isn't that right, Phillip?
Ph: (agitated) Look… I don't want to fight with you.
Ch: (snide) Alright… who do you want to fight with?
Ph: Dammit, Chloe, don't be that way!
Ch: (taking a breath) Trust me, I don't want to be like this.
Ph: (frustrated) I just don't understand why you would allow Brady to hang out with you, but not me. I know that things, between us, have been tense, but we were working them out. Then BAM… you disappeared… I mean, you were still in Salem, thank God, but no one saw or heard from you, except through occasional messages, although I wasn't among the people you kept in touch with… anyway, you didn't see anyone… except Brady. I can understand you, needing him to help with your independent study, but for him to go from 'study buddy' to someone who would feed you fruit… Chloe… I love…
Ch: Phillip… don't say it.
Ph: What… that I love you? I know that you have trouble believing me, but that is the truth.
Ch: Phillip, I told you that I only wanted to be friends with you.
Ph: Friends can love each other, can't they?
Ch: Of course they can, but you and I both know that's not the way you love me.
Phillip looked downcast.
Ch: Besides, I need to tell you something that may put an end to our friendship, as it is.
Ph: (accusatory) Is it about Brady?
Ch: (sadly) No.
Phillip looked at Chloe, who avoided looking at him. He looked past her, into the dining room where Craig was comforting Nancy. He looked over at a worried Belle, who was talking to her mother. He thought he read 'Phillip' on her lips, but quickly dismissed it, until he saw Victor, attempting to lead Brady back to the bar. Brady always meddled whenever Chloe was involved, but this time, Brady's attentiveness gave him pause. Deep down, he sensed that these intense conversations were about one thing, or rather, one person: Chloe. Phillip slowly looked at her.
Ch: (sober) Phillip, I…
Ph: Before you begin, I have one question…
Ch: (frustrated) Phillip, if this is about Brady, I swear…
Ph: It isn't, although it is about something he said earlier… concerning your health?
Chloe remained silent.
Ph: (trying to smile) Despite what all of you think, I'm not clueless, not when it concerns you. (touching her cheek) Everyone in the dining room is worried about you, aren't they?
Chloe nodded.
Ph: Was it your throat? Did your strep throat come back and ruined your independent study?
Ch: (getting anxious) Phillip…
Ph: Was that why Brady was at your house, offering you comfort? Chloe, I could've been there for you. I know how disappointed you must have felt, but to lean on Brady… Chloe, I know all about your dreams and ambitions and I can fathom how deeply it affected you, but Brady, on the other hand…
Ch: Phillip… my throat is fine.
Ph: Well, now it is. You sounded wonderful.
Ch: My throat was not the problem.
Ph: Then what was?
Ch: (cautious) Phillip… maybe we should find a more private place…
Ph: (making a face) Why? Taking me somewhere private, implies that you're going to deliver bad news and you just said Brady wasn't involved. Nothing can be as bad as the idea of you and Brady…
Ch: Phillip…you are wrong…
Ph: But you just said that this wasn't about Brady…
Ch: It isn't, Phillip. Maybe I was wrong about how this will affect you. Phillip… (taking a breath) I've always envied you, not because you were rich and popular, but because of your tunnel-vision, your ability to let your thoughts and feelings be known, no matter the circumstances. You feel totally comfortable, sharing intimate things over the phone, on paper… on videotape… but I don't, Phillip. Actually, it is something I can't do nor do I anticipate ever being able to do it.
Ph: But Chloe… that is one of the reasons why I love you. Whenever I do or say something, there's a 50-50 chance that, at some point, I will regret it…
Ch: (surprised) Really, Phillip?
Ph: Of course, Chloe. Haven't you noticed that I spend a better part of my time, apologizing?
Ch: (hiding her smile) Yeah, I've noticed that.
Ph: But you… whenever you make a decision, it isn't tinged with uncertainty or fueled by impulse… except for that one time.
Ch: (quietly) The rape accusation.
Ph: (quietly) Yeah.
Ch: That was the worst thing I've done to you.
Ph: (dismissive) It was okay, Chloe.
Ch: How can you say that?
Ph: Because… you acted on impulse… and moments later, you were yourself again, ready to clean up the mess. That moment… you were exactly like I am, all the time. It happened only once, so how can I hold it against you?
Ch: (hesitant) Thank you for saying that.
Ph: I was just telling the truth, Chloe…
Ch: And now… so must I. (taking a deep breath) Phillip, when Brady toasted to my health… it wasn't merely a toast.
Ph: I knew it!
Ch: Phillip… please, let me say this.
Ph: Okay.
Ch: (taking a breath) I'm fine now, but Phillip… I was ill.
Ph: (nervous) Well, how bad was it?
Ch: Very bad. (looking at him) Phillip… I had leukemia.
Ph: (stunned) What… did you say?
Ch: (taking his arm) Maybe we should go somewhere and talk…
Ph: (eyes, filling with tears) No… I don't believe you.
Ch: (tugging his arm) Come on, Phillip.
Ph: (getting agitated) You… sick? No… that's not possible.
Ch: (insistent) It is possible… it's the truth.
Ph: (shaking his head) No Chloe, it's not. Because if you were ill, I would have sensed it.
Ch: Phillip… you only think you would.
Ph: And if you were sick, you would have told me, so I could've been there for you, took care of you. But none of that happened, therefore… you weren't really sick.
Ch: Phillip…
Ph: (taking her face in his hands) You are thinner, and maybe, a little pale, but that's because you were pushing yourself too hard. Your courses… (getting upset) I told you Brady couldn't help you, like I could…
Ch: (firmly) Phillip… there were no college courses. I haven't pushed myself too hard. I had leukemia, emphasis on had. I am fine, now.
Ph: (detached) You didn't have college courses… you had leukemia, but now, you're fine. (labored) But the fact remains, that in both scenarios, I should've been there. (getting angry) How could you do this?
Ch: (agitated) It was the only decision that made sense…
Ph: Oh really, Chloe?! Is this along the lines of telling everyone else about this, before me?
Ch: I didn't tell everyone, Phillip.
Ph: Oh, no?! (leading her toward the dining room) Look in the dining room. (looking at her) The Blacks knew something was up, before I did. (loudly) The Blacks, Chloe! (trying to compose himself) I can understand you, confiding in Belle… how long did they know about this?
Ch: (quietly) I told Belle, this morning.
Ph: And the Blacks?
Ch: For a couple of days.
Ph: For a couple of days? Why would you tell them, but not me?
Chloe remained silent.
Ph: (trying to hide his anger) Answer me, Chloe.
Ch: (calmly) I didn't tell them, Phillip.
Ph: Well, how did they find out? Did your parents tell them? (thinking) Wait a minute… the weeknight visits… did Brady know?
Ch: (taking his arm) Come with me, Phillip.
Ph: (freeing his arm) Where are we going, Chloe, somewhere private? That's not necessary, since your illness was common knowledge to everyone, except me. But you just remedied that, so let's return to our tables…
Ch: That's not true.
Ph: Actually, you're right. Your illness is news to everyone, except Brady…
Ch: (getting angry) And my parents, my doctors and myself.
Ph: How long did he know?
Ch: (hesitant) From… the beginning.
Ph: From the beginning? Oh, that's just perfect. And I'm sure he encouraged you to keep this from me.
Ch: Actually, he did the opposite. He pushed me to tell you.
Ph: Obviously, he didn't push hard enough.
Ch: No, he didn't and thank God, because if I would have relented, I would have had to endure months of guilt from you and since I didn't have the strength to argue, much less, run away…
Ph: Great… you're insulting me…
Ch: I'm not, Phillip. Look, I'm sorry about telling you, like this. I could've picked a better time or place…
Ph: Like months ago and in your house…
Ch: This was my decision, and as a whole, I don't regret it, although I've hurt a lot of people in the process. It was the right thing…
Ph: (dismissive) The right thing for whom?
Ch: (beginning to seethe) The right thing for me. After all, I was the one with the leukemia. I was the one who had to endure the treatments. And ultimately, I was the one who could've died. (looking in his eyes) I am sorry that I've hurt you, but before you get carried away with this indignation, there were three other people, victimized, by my desire for privacy. My mother, who insisted on being by my side, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but couldn't share her feelings with anyone else, but Craig. Craig, of course, who was part of my medical team, along with supporting me and Nancy, emotionally. And then, there was Brady…
Ph: (condescending) Please… don't sing his praises.
Ch: I won't, since you wouldn't hear a word I say, anyway. But for you to think that my illness was a picnic for him… or maybe, you were hoping that it would be a picnic for you.
Ph: What are you getting at?
Ch: The way you talk… it's almost as if you want to turn back time to when I was ill and suffering, just so you could be a hero, if not a part of my leukemia. Is that what you're trying to tell me, Phillip? Do you want me to have a relapse, right in front of you, so you can have the opportunity that I cheated you out of?!
Ph: (shouting) No… of course not!
Cr: (from behind) Alright, Phillip… that's enough.
Chloe turned around as Craig approached them.
Mag: (approaching the hallway) I'm sorry to bother you all, but maybe you want to finish this discussion in my office.
Cr: (staring down Phillip) It's not necessary, Maggie.
Ch: (looking at Craig) Yes it is. Phillip and I have a lot to work out.
Ph: (coldly) No, we don't. You told me. It's over.
Ch: No, it's not. (looking at Maggie) I would appreciate it if we could use your office.
Cr: (touching her shoulder) Are you sure?
Ch: (touching Craig's hand) Yes, I am.
Mag: (taking a breath) Okay. (looking at them) Follow me.
Craig watched as Maggie led them to her office. Reluctantly, he returned to his table, where Nancy was waiting. Brady watched as Craig reassured Nancy.
Vic: (from behind) Come on, Brady.
Brady remained in the entryway.
Vic: Brady… Craig took care of it. (taking his arm) We need to finish our talk.
Victor guided him to the alcove. As he studied Brady's face, he felt a sense of dread.
Br: (noticing Victor) What, Grandpa? Why are you staring at me like that?
Vic: No reason. I was just thinking…
Br: About…?
Vic: I was just wishing that you and Phillip could demonstrate as much focus and loyalty to each other as you have, toward Chloe.
Brady glared at him.