A/N: Okay, I know it's not that sad yet but trust me - - - once you read the last chapter, I'm betting that even JUST ONE TEAR will well up in your eyes.

DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter characters.

CHAPTER 4: THE CHRISTMAS DINNER

Ron and I had talked all night, discussing our plans after we leave Hogwarts and imagining where our other classmates will end up. Ron wanted to play for his favorite Quidditch team, the Chudley Cannons and was hoping to get a tryout by the end of term. He played Keeper on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team ever since Oliver Wood had relinquished his post to play for Puddlemere United. I had pointed out the possible unlikeliness of this before he also admitted that he'd also like to work as an Auror for the Ministry of Magic. I, on the other hand, had thought of working for Gringotts but also entertained thoughts of working in the Ministry. I had heard from Fleur Delacour (who's a TA here in Hogwarts) that Beauxbatons Academy was looking for someone to teach Arithmancy, and I was also considering looking into it. Professor McGonagall had always told me that I'd probably make a good professor someday. But I was also thinking of going to a Muggle university. My parents had been hinting at the idea all summer and even Professor Dumbledore was in on it. I told Ron about the time Professor Dumbledore called me to his office during the start of term and was telling me about a wizard friend of his who was a dean in Cambridge. He could probably get you in, he had told me. You have exceptional marks, Miss Granger and I don't think Milos (the Cambridge wizard) will have any trouble fixing you up there. After which, you may be able to qualify as a candidate for Ambassador to Muggles in England. A most prestigious honor.

You're not seriously thinking about going to work in the Muggle world, Ron had said. I wasn't able to answer. Mum and Dad were pleased when Professor Dumbledore owled them about the special arrangements. If I consented to it, I was to study Political Science, learning about the constitution and laws of England. The only difference would be I would also be studying Wizarding Laws, in congruence to the course. Only then would I be able to return to the wizarding world and work as a diplomat. Of course, I haven't given them an answer yet.

Anyway, Ron had fallen asleep in my room again. Honestly, I think that he falls asleep on purpose because he likes my sheets. He always commented that my sheets smell nice and were fluffy. I woke up, feeling happier than I've been in the past few days. Stretching my arms sideways, I had accidentally hit Ron on the head - he didn't even stir. If Ron hadn't been snoring, I'd have thought that he was dead.

"Morning," someone said from across the bed. I shrieked in surprise and made Ron squirm to his side, muttering, "Just save some waffles for me, Mum."

"Harry?"

Sure enough, he was there, clad in a white turtleneck sweater I had never seen him wear before and khaki pants. He was sitting on the plush armchair that used to face the fireplace, but was now directed to the bed. His intense green eyes were wide awake and flashing with an emotion that I just can't place.

"Ron didn't come back last night and this morning, so I got worried. This isn't what I'd call a wonderful Christmas present," he said, arms crossed over his chest.

I nudged Ron. "Ron," I said, poking him in the ribs. "Ron, wake up. We've got company."

He still didn't budge.

"Ron!" I said a little too loudly, and nudging a little too strongly. He fell off the edge of the bed with a thud.

A moment later, Ron's tousled head popped up. "Is it time to eat yet?" he yawned.

"No," Harry replied, looking from him to me then back again. "I was wondering why you didn't come back to the dorms last night."

Ron climbed back on the bed and nuzzled the pillow he had his head on. "I saw Hermione coming out of the library last night and I decided to walk her back. I guess we lost track of time because we were talking about our futures. Hey, did you know that Neville's probably going to replace Professor Sprout in Herbology and would one day be Head of Hufflepuff House?" Ron snickered, still half-asleep.

"So you just fell asleep beside her?" he asked, his eyes still flashing with an emotion I couldn't place.

"Chill out, Harry. We didn't do anything that you and your new girlfriend hasn't done first," Ron replied. I nudged him again. That was one taunt too far.

Fortunately, Harry seemed used to Ron's early morning teasing and paid no attention to his last statement. "I thought you'd like to open presents together." He smiled. "Like we always do," he added.

"Are you sure you don't want to do that with your girlfriend?" Ron snorted. I nudged him again, harder this time.

"Diana's not my girlfriend, Ron. Not yet. Besides, she's asleep. I can't just wake her up."

Ron found it funny, as he looked at me. "He can't wake her up but he can wake us up."

Final straw. I pushed Ron over the bed again. I stood up and grabbed my bathrobe. "If we're going to open presents, let's go now, before everybody else wakes up. I'm not exactly a sight to behold this morning."

Ron stood up and brushed himself off. He strolled over to the portrait door and started babbling. "I hope Mum's got something else for me this Christmas other than a Weasley sweater. I'd settle for a tee shirt that says My parents went to the Caribbean and all I got was this lousy shirt!"

Harry followed Ron, but waited until I closed my portrait door before falling into step beside me. We descended the steps leading to the Gryffindor Common Room, Ron, all the while, chatting away and filling the enclave with his loud voice. Harry had to lean close to talk to me.

"I haven't been seeing you around a lot, Hermione," he told me, his head bent.

He sounded defeated, a little sad. And I could feel that he did feel remorse about our sudden shift in friendship. "You've been busy," I said, thankful that Ron's voice disguised any untoward emotion that may have mixed with my answers.

Harry ran his right hand through his hair and I bit my lip. A simple action made me want to kiss him so badly that I could barely control myself. But Ron's monologue (A coconut with a bright umbrella straw - that's the ticket!) kept me grounded.

"Yeah, well, that's my fault. I have been spending a lot of time with Diana."

I realized then that just hearing Harry say her name hurt me.

"I've been wanting to ask you, Hermione. What were you doing that night you saw me standing outside the girls' dormitory?"

Images of the evening I was trying hard to forget pushed themselves into my mind. "I - I was coming back from the kitchen. I had asked Dobby for a late- night dinner and I was coming to see you.and Ron. To apologize for being nasty and cranky."

"Why did you run out so suddenly?"

I had dreaded being asked this question, but I was prepared. "I saw a rat run across the Common Room. It surprised me."

Harry looked as if he wanted to ask me something again, but thought better of it. "What?" I pressed.

He smiled. I liked the way he smiled. It was so genuine and sincere and comforting. I've been seeing his smile for the past seven years of my life and I looked forward to those smiles. To me, it always seemed to tell me that everything will be all right. That he'll take care of everything.

"I thought you ran out because you saw me kiss Diana."

I flinched again, but this time he noticed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied. Harry, unlike Ron, didn't press for information when I say nothing. I was safe - safe behind the wall that locked my secret. For now.

We reached the Gryffindor Common Room, with Ron yelling "Presents!" at the top of his lungs.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The Great Hall was decked to perfection, as always, during the Christmas Dinner. There weren't many students left but 5 Gryffindors, 2 Ravenclaws, a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin, plus Fred and George Weasley. The students and the teachers sat around the Gryffindor House table, chatting noisily and eagerly anticipating the meal that would be appearing in a matter of moments. Fred and George were showing Professor Dumbledore some new tricks they had invented for their shop and the headmaster was enjoying it immensely, his eyes shining and heart bursting with pride at the two men who had filled Hogwarts and the rest of the wizarding world with laughter and hope during the Dark times. The other students looked over the twins' inventions eagerly, fascinated with the Canary Creams they had brought (I'm going to try to trick Snape with it, Fred had declared) and were asking to tell the tale of Harry's cousin, Dudley, and the Ton-Tongue Toffee. Harry and Diana were already there when Ron and I arrived.

Harry looked perfect and happy, and I began to lose my nerve. Ron had prepped me before the Dinner, helping me smooth Sleekeazy in my hair and giving me words of encouragement. I felt Ron squeeze my hand as we walked toward the table and we sat down directly opposite the happy couple.

"Hello, Hermione," Diana said sweetly. As much as I wanted to ignore her, I had told Ron that I would be decidedly friendly with her. After all, as long as she was making Harry happy, I was fine with it. Ron had only looked at me with a sad smile.

"Don't be a martyr, Hermione. Tell him how you feel," Ron had told me.

But I couldn't. Not now. Not yet.

"Happy Christmas, Diana," I replied. "You too, Harry."

"Those are gorgeous earrings," Diana said, referring to the sapphire studs my parents had given me for my seventeenth birthday.

"Thanks. They were a gift."

"From who?" Harry wanted to know. A strange answer popped into my head, one that would elicit a response which I needed to observe to know if he felt something for me, other than as a friend.

"From Viktor," I said. I felt Ron's knee nudge my leg disapprovingly under the table.

"Were they a Christmas present?" Harry continued, his facial expression not changing.

"Yes," I answered, ignoring Ron's knee. Damn it, I need to know!

"Viktor Krum?" Diana asked. "The Quidditch player? You know him?"

Harry was still looking at (I wasn't sure) me or my earrings. "Hermione was dating him during our fifth year, but it was never really a big thing. I thought you said he was over you."

"That's what I thought, too." If Ron doesn't stop with his knee, I'm going to clip the twigs off his Nimbus Two Thousand. "But it's very sweet of him, really. I feel bad, though. I didn't get him anything at all."

Wow, this game is so easy to play. Too bad I'm not getting the kind of response that I want from Harry.

"Where's my gift?" Harry asked me. This morning, I had received a gold friendship bracelet from him. A small, flat nameplate held his, Ron's and my names on it. I didn't take it out of its box tonight. I kept thinking that if I wore it, it would probably be the closest I will ever be to him.

But right now, I thought that I had made a good decision by not wearing it. Let him feel how it is to be taken for granted for a change. I made a show of looking over to Fred and George before answering. "It's back in my room."

"I thought you were going to wear it tonight," Harry said, his face taking on a crestfallen expression.

"It doesn't really go well with my robes, Harry." Ron sighed next to me and I knew I had said the wrong thing, but I didn't care. Let him feel how it is not to be noticed.

My plan backfired. Diana, seeing the look on Harry's face, shoved the sleeve of her robe to reveal a beautiful gold bracelet, a lot like the one he gave me, but with small, rose-shaped, gold charms. "Your gift is wonderful, Harry. I've never been given anything like this."

And just like that, he turned his attention from me to her. Damn her.

"Do you really like it, Diana?" he asked slowly.

"Yes," she said. "I do." She has the power of making men feel like they're the most perfect guy on earth. And I hated her for it.

"I don't feel very well," I said, standing up and sprinting out of the Great Hall.