~* Did I shock you with Rachel at the end of the first chapter? That was the general idea, but here is the next part. I hope that you enjoy it and I hope that you review.~*

Disclaimer: Despite my dreams that one day I will wake up and they're mine, I don't own the characters. Except of course for Eva and the other children. I own them...well, sort of.

Chandler appeared beside his wife.

"Rachel?" He asked in the same surprised voice Monica had a second before.

"Hi."

"Is this....?" Monica's attention turned south to Eva who was clinging to her mother.

"This is Eva, she's five," Rachel said placing her hand on Eva's head. Inside a baby began to cry and Monica turned from Rachel and then back to her as if deciding which to deal with first.

"I got her Mon," Rachel heard from inside. Phoebe. Phoebe was there. She didn't know if she should be happy or upset by the fact that Phoebe was there. That meant that all the others were there too. This way, she could just deal with them all at once, but at the same time, Monica and Chandler were going to be enough to deal with. She cleared her throat.

"Monica," she began. "I shouldn't have come." She took Eva's hand and turned away from the door. Monica looked at her husband who nodded and she ran after her long lost friend.

"Rachel!" Monica called. "Wait." Rachel paused and closed her eyes.

"It was a mistake," she said as the tears fell.

"Coming back is a mistake?"

"No, it was a mistake. My marriage, leaving you guys, it was all a mistake. A stupid, stupid mistake!" Eva watched the entire scene with wide eyes.

"Then why did you do it?" Monica asked. If she was angry, or was going to forgive her, Rachel didn't know. Monica's voice betrayed nothing. Why did she do it? That was the question of the century. She did for many reasons, most of which she was sure that Monica wouldn't understand. Or maybe she would. She had been in love, still was in love, with Chandler. So much so that nothing else mattered. So much so that she would have moved hell and high water for him. She would have gone to the ends of the earth if he had asked, no matter who she left behind or hurt in the process. And he had asked her. Her husband, Chris, had asked her to move with him to Chicago, he had asked her to give up her friends and her life, and she had done it. Gladly. But there was the difference between her and Monica, Chandler worshiped Monica, her feelings were reciprocated completely. He would do anything for her as well. He would die for her, he would cheat and steal for her. Chris, although he claimed that he loved her, in the end didn't feel the same way. Rachel had invested far more of herself into her marriage then her husband had.

"I don't know, Monica. Love? A sense of responsibility? I didn't want to raise her on my own," Rachel motioned to Eva.

"We would have helped you! We would have done anything that you wanted or needed!" Monica was right. Of course she was. Rachel could do nothing but shrug. "It's freezing out here, come inside." She started inside and Rachel and Eva slowly followed her. Chandler had stood by the door the entire time watching. Rachel approached him and he gave her a small smile.

"Come in," he bent down to Eva's level. "Do you know what?"

"What?" Eva asked. It was the first time she had spoken up.

"I have a little girl whose only about a year older then you. Her name is Juliana," Chandler said. "And she has a room full of toys, and if you like, she and I can take you up there to play." Eva looked to Rachel for permission, and when Rachel nodded, Eva allowed a smile to grace her face. Chandler disappeared around the corner into the living room. Monica took Rachel's and Eva's coats and began to hang them up. Chandler reappeared with a little girl in his arms. She was an exact replica of Monica.

"Juliana," Rachel breathed. "I haven't seen her since she was a baby."

"I'm almost six now," Juliana said sticking out her tongue to concentrate on holding up six fingers. Monica smiled at her daughter.

"Come here baby," she said and Chandler placed her on the floor and she ran to her mother. Monica fixed the blue bow in her hair. She looked like the perfect mother. How had Rachel known that Monica would be the perfect mother? That together with Chandler they would be the perfect family complete with a perfect house and a perfect marriage? She wondered if they knew that it was dangerous to have that much perfection. She had thought her life was perfect with the perfect daughter and perfect husband. No, she told herself, Monica and Chandler know that they make mistakes, that they are not infallible. At least she hoped that they knew. For their sake, for Juliana and apparently their other kids' sake. "Take Eva up to your room and play for a little while, okay? Share your toys with her."

"Gotcha Mommy," and Rachel realized that while Juliana had inherited her mother's looks, she had her father in her.

"Everyone is here," Monica said gesturing to the living room.

"Everyone?"

"Ross, his wife Jackie, his son, Phoebe, her fiance Mike, Joey, his new girlfriend Nina, and us," Chandler spoke up. By this time, a little boy came running in with Phoebe who was holding a baby girl in her arms.

"Mon, she's been crying for you, what's going on out here?" She handed the infant to Monica as the boy jumped up and down and then noticed Rachel. "Hi Rach. Rachel?"

"Hi Pheebs," Rachel said softly. Phoebe didn't respond, just stared at her friend.

"What are you doing here?"

"I...."

"Why don't we go into the living room?" Chandler suggested. Rachel nodded.

"Is that your son?" She asked she smiled at the little boy who with sandy hair and bright blue eyes looked like his father. He gave a small smile back at her and then hid behind his father.

"This is James, we call him Jamie," Monica introduced. "He's three."

"He's adorable Monica. And her?"

"She's six months. Madeline, we call her Maddie."

"She's beautiful."

"Thank you," Monica never let her gaze wander from Rachel's face. Rachel felt as if she was under a microscope and Monica was scrutinizing her every move. Chandler scooped Jamie up in his arms and tucked him under his arm as he carried him into the living room.

"This house is amazing," Rachel said to Chandler. She was trying everything she could to get them to forgive her. And if complementing every part of their life was the way to go, then it wasn't beneath her.

"Thank you," Chandler said and he braced himself for the reaction of the rest of the people in the living room. Rachel was still waiting for some sign on Monica's part that either she hated her and she would never ever forgive her, or else that she was done being angry. Rachel wondered if Monica was going to introduce her like in the movies. The whole look-whose-come-home, and in the back of her mind she hoped that, like in the movies, someone would jump up and hug her and tell her that they've missed her and all is forgiven. She quickly realized two things. 1: This was not a movie, and 2: they were not ready to forgive her. The entire room was silent as she stood in the doorway.

"Rachel." It wasn't a question. It was a statement made by Joey who sat with a pretty brunette on the floor of the immaculate living room. Ross simply stared as he held a toddler in his arms. The woman next to him, who Rachel supposed was his wife, and Joey's girlfriend and Phoebe's fiance sat confused. They had heard of Rachel, but she was simply a myth to them. A legend.

"This is Rachel?" Jackie asked Ross.

"Yes," Phoebe had found her voice, Rachel could see. "This is Rachel." Well, if she thought she was going to get sympathy from Phoebe, she could now see that she was mistaken. Phoebe had practically spit out her name as if it was poison in her mouth.

"Wow," Nina breathed. "We've heard a lot about you." In a not so subtle way, Joey told her to be quiet by pinching her. She covered her mouth and Rachel felt uncomfortable.

"Do you have a place to stay?" Chandler asked clearing the painful silence that had filled the room.

"Um...." Rachel shifted slightly. "Not really....I was just going to get a...."

"You can stay here," Monica spoke up surprising everyone including herself.

"Really?" Rachel asked relieved.

"Yes. You can stay here. You and Eva can stay here."

"Eva?" Ross spoke up. "Is that your daughter?"

"Yes, she's five. She's upstairs with Juliana." Rachel wanted to hug all her friends, she wanted to cry in Monica's arms. She wanted to tell Ross that she had missed his dinosaur stories, and Phoebe that she had missed her songs. She wanted to hear Chandler tell a joke, and hear Joey make a faux pas and not even notice it. She wanted things to be the same again. And she knew that it was impossible. It was impossible to go back, it was impossible to move forward, it was impossible to do anything but stand as they were doing and try to figure out what the next appropriate thing was to say.

"Why don't you sit down?" Chandler motioned to the couch.

"Listen Mon," Phoebe said. "We really need to go. We have to still drive back to the city...." Rachel knew that they were racking their brains for excuses to leave. Leave and allow Monica to have to pick up the pieces. That was what she was best at, picking up the pieces.

"I'll walk you to the door," Monica said handing Maddie to Chandler who put Jamie down on the couch. Chandler took her and gave quick goodbyes to everyone as they shuffled off.

"So," he said when they had all left the room.

"So." She paused and then asked the question she had been dying to know the answer to. "Are you guys still happy? Is everything perfect the way it seems?"

"Nothing and no one is perfect Rachel," Chandler stated. "But yeah, we're really happy. Happier, I suppose, then most people that I know. I love her. I've loved her forever. I'll love her for all eternity. I love my kids. I love my life. Are things always great? No. We fight. We argue all the time, but I know that she loves me and that I love her and in the end it's all irrelevant when Juliana smiles at me and I can see her mother in her, or when Jamie laughs and it echoes her laugh. And Maddie, who wasn't supposed to be born, but you weren't here for that. So are we perfect? No. But we're damn close." Rachel could do nothing but stare at her friend. Was this the same man who was terrified of commitment? Was this the same guy who had a chick and a duck for pets? When had he grown up? Why had she missed it? And why hadn't her husband been like this? Why had Monica picked a great one and she had picked a lousy one? Where in the cards did it say that was fair? A voice echoed inside her head. Life's not fair.

Not fair.

Life's not fair.

No Rachel decided. Life was not fair. But she had known that. She had known that for awhile. When her husband cheated on her and she learned of his indiscretion, she had learned it quickly. Up until that time, she had told herself that like Monica and Chandler, she had a perfect existence. There was that song. Where had she heard it? She couldn't remember, but she remembered the words. Life is unfair, kill yourself, or get over it. (AN: The song is called Child Psychology by Black Box Recorder. It's a strange, strange song)

"Why did you come back?" Monica came into the living room and sat next to her husband who put his hand on her thigh.

"I came back....well..." This was it, she could tell the God-awful truth about her returning, or she could sugar-coat it. It was time to tell the truth. If she had learned anything it was that nothing good could come from lying. How funny it took her thirty-odd years to gain this knowledge when it seemed everyone else had known this all along.

"Why?" Chandler inquired prompting Rachel to finish her sentence.

"Because I couldn't stay there anymore. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving, and for choosing him, that was wrong. But I'm sorry and I want to be forgiven, and he cheated on me Monica. He cheated and really didn't even try to cover it up! He let Eva meet her before he had even told me and she unknowingly told me. She didn't know what she was doing. But he....and her....and they're getting married. And where does that leave me? I gave up everything for him! I gave up you and I gave up my home and I gave up everything and where does that leave me? It leaves me a single mother, and I adore Eva, I truly do, but I can't do this on my own. I can't and I need you guys. I need your support. So please, please can you forgive me?" Monica and Chandler remained quiet.

"I want to forgive you Rachel...but something in me can't. I don't know why, but I just can't. Not yet anyway, not now. Maybe after things sink in, maybe after a night's sleep over it," Monica stood up and wrung her hands together and sighed. "But stay here. In the extra bedroom, I'll set it up for you and Eva." She took Maddie back off Chandler and went upstairs and Rachel could hear her talking.

"Eva, honey, you're going to stay here. Your mommy is downstairs, but you can either stay with her or in Juliana's room."
"Can I stay in Juliana's?"

"It's okay with me, why don't you run down and ask your mother?" A minute later, Eva appeared.

"Can I stay in Julie's room?"

"Sure."

"She told me that I could call her Julie," Eva said leaning forward to whisper into her mother's ear.

"That's great sweetheart," Rachel forced a smile. Eva gave her a hug and kiss and then ran after Monica. Chandler picked up Jamie and threw him over his shoulders causing him to laugh and gave a small smile to Rachel.

"You hurt her, but she'll get over it. I think...."

"I've missed a lot haven't I?"

"Yes. You've missed a lot." Chandler nodded again, more to himself then to Rachel. He went upstairs and Rachel was left alone in the living room. Where did this leave her? Where did this leave anything? She was too tired to deal with it now. She would deal with it in the morning.

~* So that's the second part. Please tell me if you still like it. I'll explain better in the next chapter what exactly had happened between the friends, but you have to review first!~*