What am I doing here?
That was the phrase that kept plaguing Lily's thoughts. She'd been at Higly Manor for several weeks and the reality was finally setting in.
Why was she there? Why did she leave everything behind and live in some man's home? That's all Andrew was, really-some man. She barely knew anything about him, which was fine when they were in England, just casually seeing each other, but now it really mattered if she knew him or not. Not just because she was to marry him, but also because she found herself in some strange ocean, and couldn't even use Andrew as something to cling to.
At first Andrew had doted on her as he did in England. But as the days passed, and everyone settled back into his or her routines, he grew distant. He still spent time with her of course, but he made less and less of an effort to make sure that she was comfortable and adjusting.
The fact was, she wasn't comfortable and she wasn't adjusting. No matter how many times Andrew's family told her to make herself at home, the fact remained that she wasn't home. She wasn't comfortable making a mess anywhere in it. She didn't have the faintest idea what was in some of the rooms that Andrew hadn't bothered to show her yet.
Maybe Andrew loved her; maybe he just thought she would be a good wife-Lily wasn't sure. She had had her doubts before they were engaged, but now she knew for a fact that she didn't love him back. This made it all the worse for she knew that she should go back to her home, she knew that she couldn't live here forever. She also knew too well that she couldn't just leave without a valid reason. My fiancé doesn't center his life around me doesn't sound bad enough to break off an engagement, Lily mused.
Well maybe it was a sufficient reason, but certainly not serious to cause a lot of drama over. She'd wait, that's what she'd do. They hadn't even set a date yet. She had time to figure it out. Maybe she would actually wind up loving him and truly desiring to be his wife.
Lily was shaken from her thoughts by the sound of footsteps behind her. Sensing she was supposed to be surprised, she didn't turn to greet the heavy-footed sneak.
"Boo," whispered a soft voice in her ear.
"Andrew," she said, turning to smile at him, "what are you doing home so early?"
"Early? Why it's five o' clock. Last I checked it was the norm for returning home."
"Well it's just that." she shifted in her seat uncomfortably.
"Yes.?"
"You're not usually home until eight or nine most night and I was just surprised, that's all."
"Pleasantly surprised, I hope." He turned to look out the window, and before she could respond, he started up again. "You see my sweet, I have a little surprise for you."
"Really? What is it?"
"We're going to have a guest here at Higly"
"Oh?" Lily didn't see what was so special about that. People were always coming and going from the house-Business associates, extended family, old friends.
"Yes," he turned to face her, clasping his hands together, anticipating her reaction, "an English guest. I was hoping you two would be able to talk about your motherland, you might even have mutual acquaintances."
"Andrew, be logical, dear. England has millions of people. It'd be most unlikely that we'd know each other. Still, I'm looking forward to someone from home."
"You forget, Lily, this is your home now." He kissed her cheek, then left the room, offering some excuse about seeking out his father to ask him about a supplier of contract-sealing ink.
"You forget, Andrew, we're supposed to get married," Lily sighed, knowing Andrew wouldn't stop to listen to her.
The day arrived for the mystery guest to appear at Higly Manor. Lily was still in the dark about the identity for the visitor, for Andrew had neglected telling her. Not that he had many chances to-she was either out shopping or something similar with her soon-to-be sister-in-laws, or he either came home after Lily had gone to bed. Lily had been retiring early, out of sheer boredom more than anything since sleep evaded her while she reflected on the fine mess she had buried herself in.
She took pains to dress perfectly. She had to admit, even if he was some boring old businessman, it would be a welcome break from the ordinary. She would welcome a visit from a balding, middle-aged Englishman almost as much as she would a visit from someone like Diana.
Lily looked at the clock, and seeing as the visitor was to arrive at any moment, she sought out Andrew in the entrance hall so that she could greet the guest alongside him.
"Ah, Lily," he said not looking directly at her, "I've been looking for you."
"I told you I was up in my room," she said questioningly. "How long have you been looking?"
"What? Well, you know, with all the business I have to do for this guest of ours, I can't spend that much time looking for you. It was a more wondering where you were, you see? Be a dear, and next time, don't make me have to wonder."
"But you knew where I was!" Lily almost shouted. "I told you earlier."
"Oh Lily, perhaps you need to be working on your humility. Hmmm? I might not being as inclined to bring as many people over if you're going to act so childish. Now, seeing as how this has wasted enough time, why don't you go in and join Jackie in the front parlor? I want to dazzle our guest with my beautiful sister and stunning wife-to-be." He sent a quick smile her way and snapped his fingers for a house elf to usher her out.
Andrew was being unbearable. Wasn't it supposed to be "bride-to-be" not "wife-to-be"? That was Lily's only role it seemed to him-just a wife. She bet the only reason they were even having a big wedding was so that Andrew could have an excuse to throw a party and show off to his colleagues. She doubted whether or not he even cared where she was, but he would have certainly cared if she had been absent to greet the mystery guest.
Jackie was sitting on one of the plush loveseats in the front parlor filing her nails. Seeing how miffed Lily was, she offered a sympathetic smile and continued shaping her long, already perfectly manicured nails.
Lily just sat there brooding over Andrew for a few minutes until she heard the door open and Andrew's booming voice welcoming someone in. Jackie quickly transfigured her nail file back into some sort of priceless objects d'art.
Lily wasn't sure if she was imagining it, but there was something vaguely familiar about the sound of the other man's voice. This might have just been because she had been surrounded by South African voices for so long.
No, it was the voice.
That wasn't just any British accent.
Then it hit her.
Oh, God, no, she thought as she buried her face into her hands.
She made a move to leave the room, but it was too late. I froze just as I was getting within five feet of the doorway that would lead me away from what I had no desire to see. Andrew had just come in with his special visitor.
"Lily, darling, I'd like you to meet our guest."
Maybe he just looks like him, Lily thought. I bet loads of people look like that.and maybe even have that voice too.
.It's possible.
Right?
".James Potter."
Wrong
"I'd like you to meet my fiancée, Lily"
Lily forced herself to plaster on a fake, strained smile.
James had this terrible, amused look on his face the whole time, as if he was enjoying this. Lily couldn't believe that he thought that this was at all amusing. She suddenly remembered one of the reasons why she'd left England.
"Charmed, Miss Evans," James greeted as he shook her hand in surprise. He wasn't fool enough to try and kiss it or anything.
James looked over at Lily briefly as Andrew introduced him to Jackie, but since he tried his best not to make a habit of gawking back at girls who were currently giving him death glares, he looked away and began conversing with Jackie and Andrew.
Lily spent the rest of the day hiding in her room whenever she could. She couldn't allow James to get back into her life. She had spent months trying to get him out of her life. She had spent too long blocking that image of "love" in her dictionary out of her mind to let James back in now.
She let out a low moan. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know if she could stay with Andrew for the rest of her life, but she knew that she didn't want to bring James into the picture.
James.
She couldn't say that word now without cringing. He was a bur in her side. He was the root off all annoyance in her life. She wanted him gone. She wanted Andrew gone. She wanted to leave herself. She wanted to break down and cry, but she was too angry too. That was probably best because Andrew might not permit himself to be seen with a tear-streaked face on his fiancée.
After hours and hours of reflecting on her sham of a life, as she saw it, Lily began to prepare herself for dinner.
As she was putting in a pair of ornate gold earrings with rubies in the center, she burst stared at her reflection and blurted out, "I hate them. I hate them both."
Her spirits lifted a little though, when the mirror said in response, "Don't do that, doll, they're your ears after all. You're stuck with them."
A/N: Oh God. I really hate this fic. It really sucks. Ahhh! I'm sorry this is the first update in..um...eight months is it? But I really do hate this fic and I have no motivation to write it. I'm sorry if there are any plot inconsistencies, but it's hard to remember trivial details over the course of eight months.which would be why you update more frequently. Well stupid things like the fact that this waste of space doesn't flow, doesn't matter when the general quality of this fic SUCKS! I'm so mad at it right now. For those of you who do, like this(I can't see why you would) but I'm sorry for not updating in so long.
This fic is on the verge of being dropped. Sorry.
I do have to give a big I LOVE YOU to all the people that have nicely reviewed, and all the writers on the site who not only write well, but even have great stories.
I can't even read my earlier chapters. They are so horrible, so if you've made it this far and haven't x-ed out of the box, then you're brain deserves a bubble bath and a cookie.
That was the phrase that kept plaguing Lily's thoughts. She'd been at Higly Manor for several weeks and the reality was finally setting in.
Why was she there? Why did she leave everything behind and live in some man's home? That's all Andrew was, really-some man. She barely knew anything about him, which was fine when they were in England, just casually seeing each other, but now it really mattered if she knew him or not. Not just because she was to marry him, but also because she found herself in some strange ocean, and couldn't even use Andrew as something to cling to.
At first Andrew had doted on her as he did in England. But as the days passed, and everyone settled back into his or her routines, he grew distant. He still spent time with her of course, but he made less and less of an effort to make sure that she was comfortable and adjusting.
The fact was, she wasn't comfortable and she wasn't adjusting. No matter how many times Andrew's family told her to make herself at home, the fact remained that she wasn't home. She wasn't comfortable making a mess anywhere in it. She didn't have the faintest idea what was in some of the rooms that Andrew hadn't bothered to show her yet.
Maybe Andrew loved her; maybe he just thought she would be a good wife-Lily wasn't sure. She had had her doubts before they were engaged, but now she knew for a fact that she didn't love him back. This made it all the worse for she knew that she should go back to her home, she knew that she couldn't live here forever. She also knew too well that she couldn't just leave without a valid reason. My fiancé doesn't center his life around me doesn't sound bad enough to break off an engagement, Lily mused.
Well maybe it was a sufficient reason, but certainly not serious to cause a lot of drama over. She'd wait, that's what she'd do. They hadn't even set a date yet. She had time to figure it out. Maybe she would actually wind up loving him and truly desiring to be his wife.
Lily was shaken from her thoughts by the sound of footsteps behind her. Sensing she was supposed to be surprised, she didn't turn to greet the heavy-footed sneak.
"Boo," whispered a soft voice in her ear.
"Andrew," she said, turning to smile at him, "what are you doing home so early?"
"Early? Why it's five o' clock. Last I checked it was the norm for returning home."
"Well it's just that." she shifted in her seat uncomfortably.
"Yes.?"
"You're not usually home until eight or nine most night and I was just surprised, that's all."
"Pleasantly surprised, I hope." He turned to look out the window, and before she could respond, he started up again. "You see my sweet, I have a little surprise for you."
"Really? What is it?"
"We're going to have a guest here at Higly"
"Oh?" Lily didn't see what was so special about that. People were always coming and going from the house-Business associates, extended family, old friends.
"Yes," he turned to face her, clasping his hands together, anticipating her reaction, "an English guest. I was hoping you two would be able to talk about your motherland, you might even have mutual acquaintances."
"Andrew, be logical, dear. England has millions of people. It'd be most unlikely that we'd know each other. Still, I'm looking forward to someone from home."
"You forget, Lily, this is your home now." He kissed her cheek, then left the room, offering some excuse about seeking out his father to ask him about a supplier of contract-sealing ink.
"You forget, Andrew, we're supposed to get married," Lily sighed, knowing Andrew wouldn't stop to listen to her.
The day arrived for the mystery guest to appear at Higly Manor. Lily was still in the dark about the identity for the visitor, for Andrew had neglected telling her. Not that he had many chances to-she was either out shopping or something similar with her soon-to-be sister-in-laws, or he either came home after Lily had gone to bed. Lily had been retiring early, out of sheer boredom more than anything since sleep evaded her while she reflected on the fine mess she had buried herself in.
She took pains to dress perfectly. She had to admit, even if he was some boring old businessman, it would be a welcome break from the ordinary. She would welcome a visit from a balding, middle-aged Englishman almost as much as she would a visit from someone like Diana.
Lily looked at the clock, and seeing as the visitor was to arrive at any moment, she sought out Andrew in the entrance hall so that she could greet the guest alongside him.
"Ah, Lily," he said not looking directly at her, "I've been looking for you."
"I told you I was up in my room," she said questioningly. "How long have you been looking?"
"What? Well, you know, with all the business I have to do for this guest of ours, I can't spend that much time looking for you. It was a more wondering where you were, you see? Be a dear, and next time, don't make me have to wonder."
"But you knew where I was!" Lily almost shouted. "I told you earlier."
"Oh Lily, perhaps you need to be working on your humility. Hmmm? I might not being as inclined to bring as many people over if you're going to act so childish. Now, seeing as how this has wasted enough time, why don't you go in and join Jackie in the front parlor? I want to dazzle our guest with my beautiful sister and stunning wife-to-be." He sent a quick smile her way and snapped his fingers for a house elf to usher her out.
Andrew was being unbearable. Wasn't it supposed to be "bride-to-be" not "wife-to-be"? That was Lily's only role it seemed to him-just a wife. She bet the only reason they were even having a big wedding was so that Andrew could have an excuse to throw a party and show off to his colleagues. She doubted whether or not he even cared where she was, but he would have certainly cared if she had been absent to greet the mystery guest.
Jackie was sitting on one of the plush loveseats in the front parlor filing her nails. Seeing how miffed Lily was, she offered a sympathetic smile and continued shaping her long, already perfectly manicured nails.
Lily just sat there brooding over Andrew for a few minutes until she heard the door open and Andrew's booming voice welcoming someone in. Jackie quickly transfigured her nail file back into some sort of priceless objects d'art.
Lily wasn't sure if she was imagining it, but there was something vaguely familiar about the sound of the other man's voice. This might have just been because she had been surrounded by South African voices for so long.
No, it was the voice.
That wasn't just any British accent.
Then it hit her.
Oh, God, no, she thought as she buried her face into her hands.
She made a move to leave the room, but it was too late. I froze just as I was getting within five feet of the doorway that would lead me away from what I had no desire to see. Andrew had just come in with his special visitor.
"Lily, darling, I'd like you to meet our guest."
Maybe he just looks like him, Lily thought. I bet loads of people look like that.and maybe even have that voice too.
.It's possible.
Right?
".James Potter."
Wrong
"I'd like you to meet my fiancée, Lily"
Lily forced herself to plaster on a fake, strained smile.
James had this terrible, amused look on his face the whole time, as if he was enjoying this. Lily couldn't believe that he thought that this was at all amusing. She suddenly remembered one of the reasons why she'd left England.
"Charmed, Miss Evans," James greeted as he shook her hand in surprise. He wasn't fool enough to try and kiss it or anything.
James looked over at Lily briefly as Andrew introduced him to Jackie, but since he tried his best not to make a habit of gawking back at girls who were currently giving him death glares, he looked away and began conversing with Jackie and Andrew.
Lily spent the rest of the day hiding in her room whenever she could. She couldn't allow James to get back into her life. She had spent months trying to get him out of her life. She had spent too long blocking that image of "love" in her dictionary out of her mind to let James back in now.
She let out a low moan. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know if she could stay with Andrew for the rest of her life, but she knew that she didn't want to bring James into the picture.
James.
She couldn't say that word now without cringing. He was a bur in her side. He was the root off all annoyance in her life. She wanted him gone. She wanted Andrew gone. She wanted to leave herself. She wanted to break down and cry, but she was too angry too. That was probably best because Andrew might not permit himself to be seen with a tear-streaked face on his fiancée.
After hours and hours of reflecting on her sham of a life, as she saw it, Lily began to prepare herself for dinner.
As she was putting in a pair of ornate gold earrings with rubies in the center, she burst stared at her reflection and blurted out, "I hate them. I hate them both."
Her spirits lifted a little though, when the mirror said in response, "Don't do that, doll, they're your ears after all. You're stuck with them."
A/N: Oh God. I really hate this fic. It really sucks. Ahhh! I'm sorry this is the first update in..um...eight months is it? But I really do hate this fic and I have no motivation to write it. I'm sorry if there are any plot inconsistencies, but it's hard to remember trivial details over the course of eight months.which would be why you update more frequently. Well stupid things like the fact that this waste of space doesn't flow, doesn't matter when the general quality of this fic SUCKS! I'm so mad at it right now. For those of you who do, like this(I can't see why you would) but I'm sorry for not updating in so long.
This fic is on the verge of being dropped. Sorry.
I do have to give a big I LOVE YOU to all the people that have nicely reviewed, and all the writers on the site who not only write well, but even have great stories.
I can't even read my earlier chapters. They are so horrible, so if you've made it this far and haven't x-ed out of the box, then you're brain deserves a bubble bath and a cookie.