by Yanagi-sen
Weiss Kreuz fanfic
Usual disclaimers apply. Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…
Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence. I CAN promise no character death, that's it
Day 21: The Joys of Absenteeism (no school, no Yuuto, no teachers, ^_^)
If I had enough energy I'd dance around the room. Brad decided I'm still too sick to go to school. Yippee!!! At least I can actually sit UP today. And the migraine is basically gone, I still have a headache but that's nothing new… I always have a headache it seems. I can eat things today, and they stay where they are supposed to. I'm still running a fever though, so that's why Brad said I was staying here. I actually have the flu, not one of those 24-bugs, so I could potentially be out of school all week. Damn my bad luck. ^_^
It's not as if I'm going to fall behind. Brad went to the school this morning and picked up my books and assignments so I can work on them. What a bummer, I was hoping to avoid that for another day or so. Oh well, at least this way, Yuuto isn't a problem. He's still being an ass. He's all pissy since that fight and the sex ed thing. But he's avoiding me; I think he's afraid he'll pick up 'gay germs' or something. *rolls eyes* Whatever.
I can't sit at my desk and use my usual computer, but that's what I have my laptop for. It's really cool being a member of Schwarz sometimes; I get all the neat toys. Of course, I tell Brad that they will help me do my job better… sometimes they do. Most of the time, I just want the cool toys. Now the laptop does serve a practical purpose… it's portable for missions and all that. But it's also good for sitting in bed and playing games. Luckily, Brad hasn't dumped a new load of Schwarz paperwork on me yet, I think he's waiting for tomorrow for that. I do have a stack of finished schoolwork if he should just happen to stop in. He won't realize it takes me half the time I tell him to do it, but oh well. I doubt he'll 'see' it, homework really isn't important enough to merit a vision.
Course I'd be happy if he would 'see' Omi coming over. I haven't had a chance to ask yet. I would really appreciate it if Brad would loosen up enough to let him visit. A week trapped here with only my fellow Schwarz members… not my idea of a good time, especially if I start feeling better. Brad's no fun, Farf's half out of it again, and Schu… he's remarkably restrained right now, I expect that will change within a day. I can only take so much teasing before I loose it, it amuses him. Hell, just about everything amuses him, from puppies playing to sadistic murder. Schu is easily amused.
I really liked having Omi here yesterday. It was odd, since he was here at home and we'd never met except in public before, but it was nice. It's so weird having someone who cares. That's not exactly true. Brad, Farf, and Schu care, they just have different ways of showing it. But with Omi, you can tell he cares. He lets you know, with his actions and words, and especially with his eyes. One thing I've noticed with him, he can lie with his smile, with his words and attitude, but he can't lie with his eyes. No matter how genki he appears, if he's not feeling it, you can tell. Or at least, I can. Course, I've spent a lot of time looking at his eyes.
When we go out, Omi does most of the talking. It's not that he's controlling the conversation; he just has things to say. He likes to talk; it's part of his nature. I'm not a talkative person. I'll throw in my two-cents when asked or when I feel I have something important to say, but I can't ramble for no reason. He can. It's actually nice. Cause unlike Schu, who sometimes likes to talk just to hear his own voice (I'll get to that in a minute), Omi talks cause he knows I'm listening. He values my thoughts, so he'll tell me stuff to see what I think. Brad respects that I can think (unlike the other two half the time ^_~ ), but he rarely asks for an opinion. If he does, the situation is usually bad. Omi cares enough to wonder about my feelings. It's a nice change.
I said I'd get to Schu's love of his own voice. This is actually something that took me a couple years to figure out. Occasionally, Schu will get in these moods and just ramble on incessantly for what seems like hours, and actually does on occasion. And he doesn't seem to care who is listening, I've even caught him talking to air a few times. Now, sanity has never been a consideration for membership in Schwarz, I mean, look at Farf, and so someone carrying on a conversation with invisible spirits isn't a cause for alarm. It took me a while to realize, that he was trying to anchor himself, so to speak. Schu has a tendency to get a little lazy with his shields, you know, those little mental barriers that keep everyone else out and him in. So every so often, he gets holes in them, or they outright collapse. Those times are Hell.
If it's just the holes, he can repair his shielding in a couple of hours, but during that time, he's psyche is basically adrift. To keep himself focused on the here and now, he talks, about anything and everything to whomever will listen. It's the only way he can separate 'him' from the thousands of other minds pressing in on him. I've also noticed that you can tell how BAD the shields have gotten by how he's talking. The more frantic, higher-pitched, babbling he's doing, the worse it is. Once he calms down and slows down, he's getting better, until, he'll just stop. Right in the middle of whatever he was saying and smirk and go on his way. It's really unnerving. I try to be polite and stay with him when he's like that. Farf gets bored pretty quick and Brad can't be bothered except to comment that if Schu paid more attention this wouldn't happen. So I get left listening to him. I can't just leave him like that. What if the shields fail completely?
Now when his shields totally collapse… *shudders* I've only seen it happen twice. Once when we were still at the Esset training facility, talk about Hell on Earth, and once since we've been in Japan. Repairing shields takes a few hours, depending on how bad they are. Building or rebuilding shields from scratch… takes days. That's why I NEVER let mine go down, ever. We were all trained to shield, after all, Esset doesn't control ALL the psis around the world, just most of them. So there is always the possibility that we could encounter a rogue psi. Shield training was one of the worst things I ever had to do, but I'll get into that another day. The point is, I know from experience how difficult building personal shields from the ground up can be. To have to try to do that while 'listening' to EVERY mind in a mile radius… it's possible that my migraines are worse… but it would be a toss up. I'm surprised that Schu hasn't gone insane at those times. I can only chalk it up to his will to survive, to spite the entire world that seems to what to destroy him. It was scary, those two times when he lost it. I thought he wouldn't come back.
Well, I've certainly worked myself into a dark mood. And pulling up memories of my Esset training… Great, just what I need. My nightmares come to life. Not a good thing when I'm already sick. And to sit here and brood over my teammates and their neurotic tendencies. *sigh* Maybe Omi will be online and we can chat. I need some cheering up right now.
-Nagi