A/N-And here is the next chapter in my little adventure. Oh the things that
happen in my mind. I tried to make this chapter slightly longer. There was
originally another hunk of it. But Me, being the brilliant Human I am,
forgot the cord to my laptop at the house I was baby-sitting at. They have
still not returned my phone calls about getting it back grrrrrr. But, as I
was thinking about it, I realized it was crap, and lucky you all, you get
slightly less crappie writing. I of course always think my writing sucks
however, so hey, it could be some of my best work. But no. You will get
this. HA!!!! Now, please, review review review. You must boost my ego so I
write more instead of once again thinking, 'why am I writing this' and end
it, deciding to leave no closure, but with a promised sequel. No, I don't
think that will happen to me on this one, I'm enjoying it to much. Wow,
look at me, I'm babbling in an Arthur's note, to think, I promised myself I
would never do that. Hmmm.........
Chapter 6.......The morning after
"Honey, I'm home" Alec said as he enterd Logans pent house. He looked around the apartment, Alec was at his little eyes only set up, his arms crossed, looking at him.
"So" he said in a very stern tone, "Where were you all last night?" he asked.
Alecs neck began to itch, as it always did when he was nervous. "Oh, I, uh, we fell asleep on the couch, all three of us. You know, some boring pre pulse tv show" he said. "They're all the same" he scratched the back of his neck.
"Max? Max who hardly ever sleeps unless seriously injured, fell asleep, on a couch, with you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, ya know, I think she's been feeling a little ill lately. Mentally, and physically" he said, hoping that a 'smart Alec' remark would get Logans suspicions down. "Now, Dad," he said mockingly, "I'm going to go take a shower" he said.
Logan watched him leave. He didn't believe Alecs story, though he didn't really think that anything would happen between him and Max. He didn't know what to think. He sighed and leaned back into his chair, and played BINGO on his computer.
Alec stepped under the hot water of the shower and let it pour over him. Her ran his fingers through his now wet hair, trying not to think about Max. Big surprise, he failed. Alec had always had some feelings for Max that he knew he shouldn't. At first he just thought it was because she was from the outside world, exotic. But after he had been out of Manticore for a while, he realized that wasn't it. She had this way.
He was so used to having women melt at the mere sight of him. But Max hardly ever looked at him in a way that wasn't annoyed. She didn't fall for his humble act, the tough guy act, of the 'I care only for me' act. She saw right through his every disguise.
But lately, lately she had been acting so much more kind to him. At first he thought it was because she felt bad for kicking his ass in the ring, but, the way she had looked at him the previous night.
FLASHBACK;
Alec grabbed his coat to put it on. Max woke up and stood up. What time is it?" she asked Alec. Alec shrugged. "When did she leave?" Max asked him.
"About half an hour ago, I'm about to head out myself, I think I've had my fill of pre pulse television for the day. I'll probably go Back to Logans and watch some pre pulse movie.
Max walked really close to him, and Alec backed up a little. He was uncomfortable with the silence so he did the first thing that came to mind. He reached out and touched the ends of her hair, "Um your, hair, uh.. looks cute" he said, stumbling over his words. Max was really really close to him, and it was making him nervous. HIM.
"Don't go, I like having you here" she said.
"Okay, um, what do you want to do?" he asked. He was beginning to be annoyed at the fact that she was making him nervous. It should be the other way around.
"I want to go to bed" she said grabbing his hand. Alec nearly choked at her words. She came up to him, her face was now not an inch from his. She smiled and leaned down and kissed his neck. Alec felt a shudder run through him at the light touch of her full soft lips.
She moved her head back up and started kissing his mouth. She led him into her room a little. Alec was nearly out raged at himself now. It ended here, he would have the control. He wrapped his arms around her waist and began kissing her back as full as he knew how to. His kiss had made women melt before, but with Max, she just kept returning the kiss with full force.
She pulled back for a moment, and he had a chance to look at her. Her eyes were large and darker then ever, slightly glazed over. She had the strangest look, like she was looking at him but not AT him. He stepped back, and reluctantly moved away from her. "I should go" he said, and turned to leave.
"Your leaving me?" she said in a little whine. He was going to. Really. He had every intention to leave. But his body had a mind of it's own. He turned back around and rushed back over to her. He grabbed her waist and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck and kissed him on the mouth. He returned the kiss, but then moved his mouth down to her neck, leaving a trail of kisses as far as her shirt collar went down, before moving back to her mouth.
She moved her mouth to his cheek and laid kisses all over his soft skin. He kissed her forehead, then she pulled back slightly and looked at him. He put his face next to hers so they were cheek to cheek for just a moment. It was the most intimate moment he had had since Rachel. He had slept with many women, besides Rachel, but with them, it had been just that. Sex.
But with Rachel, and now Max, he felt more. There was feeling behind every movement. They moved together, it was like a dance. He had first felt this rhythmical feeling with Max when they were fighting. It was like they both knew what the other one was going to do.
It had been different with Rachel. He felt it with her as he was placing her small delicate pale hands on the piano, showing her a more proper form. She had looked at him, starring right into his soul. He hadn't felt it again until Max.
And he loved it. He reveled in the feeling of being complete. He moved back and sat on Max's bed. She cupped his face with her hands and stared at him. He stared right back. Their lips once again met and He turned them over, so they were lying down now with him on top. "Max" he said in a shuddering breath as he came up for air. She simply pulled him back down and continued to kiss him.
PRESENT
Alec leaned his head against the wet wall of the shower. He hated that it was Max who had reawakened this feeling. Why her? Why the one woman that was off limits. And here he was, in the bathroom of the man who loved her. Mooching off of him. Off of his house, his money, his possessions, and His girlfriend.
He stepped out of the water that was now running cold and wrapped a towel around his body. He cleared the steam off of the mirror with his hand and looked at his dripping wet form. her ran his hand through his hair, removing some of the water, and ran his hands over his face.
When he had woken up this morning to her looking down at him horrified, he thought he would die. He smiled at her, hoping to wash the look away with his charm, it didn't work though. He hated what he saw in her eyes. Worry, disgust almost. And then she had called him Ben. She thought he was Ben. He was beginning to feal like she would never see Alec, Only her dead brother who had begged her to kill him.
The pain he felt when she said that was unbearable. Then she had accused him of lying when he was simply trying to explain what had happened. She had flinched away from his touch. But in the end she did remember, and she realized that Ben was an allusion. Or did she? She had kissed him, and he was sure she knew it was him she was kissing, because when she though he was Ben, she was disgusted with the idea of having sex with him.
But he wasn't so sure she could just snap out of it. He was beginning to doubt it more and more as the seconds past. She was sick. One does not just realize that there delusions are a delusion just like that. He quickly put on his clothes. He needed to go back there and see if she really was all right. They could ride their Bikes to work together, or something.
He walked out of the penthouse, "I have some things to do, I'll be back soon" he called to Logan and shut the door behind him before waiting for a reply.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max sipped up her Jam pony jacket up half way, and grabbed her messenger Bag. She her sun glasses on her head and Got her bicycle from her room and left her apartment. Alec was right outside of her apartment in the hall, waiting with his bike.
"Hey Max, what's up?" he asked her nervously, his neck itching again.
"Umm.... not much, just going to work, like you I see" she said. Alec nodded.
"I thought we could go together, catch up ya know" he said giving her his most charming Alec grin.
"What ever" she said pushing her sunglasses down over her eyes.
Alec noticed something gold hanging from a chain around her neck. He reached out and touched it, studding the object. "Ooo, pretty, what is it?" he asked he looked at the small woman on the necklace, admiring it.
"Oh, that's right, you don't learn about religion in manticore. Its the virgin Mary" she said. She looked down at his hand and waited for him to move it away from her. But he didn't, instead, he moved his hand over the exposed skin over the neck line of her shirt, and moved his hand up to cup her cheek. She leaned into the soft skin of his hand without thinking. "Max, are you okay? I mean really".
"mmmhmmm....." she said, her eyes closing not really paying attention to the question, more to the warmth radiating from his hand.
"Are you sure, because this morning, when you thought I was Ben" she pulled away from him, her eyes shot open and she looked at him. "And then you know, sleeping with me is pretty much out of character for you" he went on.
"Alec I'm fine, I'm always all right" she said. Alec remembered saying the same words to her not to long ago. He had not been all right. "And about last night, that can't happen again. You understand right? I mean, I like you. More then I should probably" she said. He smiled at the second part of what she had said. "SOMETIMES" she added sternly. He frowned again. "But you and me, it just can't be. I'm with Logan" she paused as if wondering if she should go on, "I love him. And, I don't know, maybe if things were different.., but they're not. I can't be with you Alec. Not now, not ever".
Alec nearly stumbled back in pain. "But Max, you can't BE with Logan either. Not with out killing him" Alec stated. He was expecting this from Max. He knew it was coming, but he hadn't dreamed it would hurt this much. He couldn't remember being rejected. Well, maybe a couple times. But he always comforted himself by choosing to believe they were lesbians. Like Asha. She was definitely Gay. Or so he chose to believe.
"Thanks to you" Max said. Alec opened his mouth to apologize again, but she stopped him, "No Alec, I know your sorry, and I know it wasn't really your fault, you were just following orders. But my point is, Maybe I can't be with him physically, But, he's still there. And he loves me, and I love him. And as soon as we have a cure-"
she was cut off by Alec, "A cure. A CURE!" he shouted. Always this stupid cure. Well, Maxi, wake up already, What if there is no cure. Or even if there is, what if you never find it. You'll be an old women, never knowing the love of any man But one that you could never touch. You'll wake up one morning, and realize that you wasted your life away. That's assuming that Logan doesn't leave you for some girl who's even younger then you, who he can touch with out dyeing. Come back to reality already Max, Maybe your just not meant to be with Logan?" Alec stopped talking, he had just let out months worth of anger and pent up frustration.
"Oh" Max said now red with anger, "And who is the right person for me? You solider boy? Monty Cora?"
"Well Manticore sure seemed to think so" he said.
"Manticore" she spit out disgustedly. "Like they care about love, like they know anything about it" she yelled.
"They seem to know more then you. Admit it, your just a confused little girl who doesn't know anything about love.
"Oh, is that what this is about then? Love? I don't think so. Love has nothing to do with this. You know that and so do I. It was an attraction. A simple attraction, nothing more. An itch that needed to be scratched, well, believe me, that itch is gone now."
"An itch, that's all this was?" how can you say that?" he said hurt.
His words bounced right past her she continued her rant, "and who are you to point fingers about not know about love. About confusion. You killed the girl you loved, well I'm willing to put up more of a fight for the one I love", as soon as the words left her mouth she regretted them.
Alec didn't say anything. He tightly griped the handle bars of his bicycle. He clenched his jaw tightly shut. He looked right at her. The pain in his eyes was more emotion then he had ever seen from him. He turned away. They were now outside and he hopped on his bike, riding quickly away.
"Ouch" Ben said from behind her.
Max turned into his arms and let her bike fall to the ground. "Oh Ben, what have I done" she said. "He loved Rachel, he tried to save her. I cant believe I said that. But, what he was saying about me and Logan",
"Shhhh" Ben silenced her rubbing her back, "What he said about you and Logan is right" Ben told her. Max was ready to pull back but he stopped her, "Maxie, you know this is true, deep down inside or I wouldn't be saying this. You and Logan both are wasting your life away trying to find a cure. Don't you think if it was meant to be you would of found a cure by now" he asked. "Your putting Logan in danger just by being near him. You could slip at any minute, and just the tiniest touch is all that would be needed to kill him. Your putting him at the same risk Alec had Rachel at. Don't make his mistake. If you love him, then you need to leave him"
Max thought about what he was saying. It sank to the bottom of her stomach. She couldn't bear the though that she and Logan could never be together. It was just to wrong. To cruel a punishment from the fates. "Maxie" Ben said compassionately, "It may seem like the end of the world now, but time heals all wounds, and so does love. You'll both find other people. And you'll both have your happy ending, just not the ones you were expecting".
Max wiped her tears on Ben's shirt and left his embrace to pick up her bike. She really didn't want what Ben was saying to be true. But she knew. She had always know that things might not work with Logan. But her heart couldn't take the thought right now. She recoiled inside herself. She went back into the arms of Ben, sinking deeper into her insanity, and welcoming the mind numbing darkness it offered at the moment, and she fainted.
Chapter 6.......The morning after
"Honey, I'm home" Alec said as he enterd Logans pent house. He looked around the apartment, Alec was at his little eyes only set up, his arms crossed, looking at him.
"So" he said in a very stern tone, "Where were you all last night?" he asked.
Alecs neck began to itch, as it always did when he was nervous. "Oh, I, uh, we fell asleep on the couch, all three of us. You know, some boring pre pulse tv show" he said. "They're all the same" he scratched the back of his neck.
"Max? Max who hardly ever sleeps unless seriously injured, fell asleep, on a couch, with you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, ya know, I think she's been feeling a little ill lately. Mentally, and physically" he said, hoping that a 'smart Alec' remark would get Logans suspicions down. "Now, Dad," he said mockingly, "I'm going to go take a shower" he said.
Logan watched him leave. He didn't believe Alecs story, though he didn't really think that anything would happen between him and Max. He didn't know what to think. He sighed and leaned back into his chair, and played BINGO on his computer.
Alec stepped under the hot water of the shower and let it pour over him. Her ran his fingers through his now wet hair, trying not to think about Max. Big surprise, he failed. Alec had always had some feelings for Max that he knew he shouldn't. At first he just thought it was because she was from the outside world, exotic. But after he had been out of Manticore for a while, he realized that wasn't it. She had this way.
He was so used to having women melt at the mere sight of him. But Max hardly ever looked at him in a way that wasn't annoyed. She didn't fall for his humble act, the tough guy act, of the 'I care only for me' act. She saw right through his every disguise.
But lately, lately she had been acting so much more kind to him. At first he thought it was because she felt bad for kicking his ass in the ring, but, the way she had looked at him the previous night.
FLASHBACK;
Alec grabbed his coat to put it on. Max woke up and stood up. What time is it?" she asked Alec. Alec shrugged. "When did she leave?" Max asked him.
"About half an hour ago, I'm about to head out myself, I think I've had my fill of pre pulse television for the day. I'll probably go Back to Logans and watch some pre pulse movie.
Max walked really close to him, and Alec backed up a little. He was uncomfortable with the silence so he did the first thing that came to mind. He reached out and touched the ends of her hair, "Um your, hair, uh.. looks cute" he said, stumbling over his words. Max was really really close to him, and it was making him nervous. HIM.
"Don't go, I like having you here" she said.
"Okay, um, what do you want to do?" he asked. He was beginning to be annoyed at the fact that she was making him nervous. It should be the other way around.
"I want to go to bed" she said grabbing his hand. Alec nearly choked at her words. She came up to him, her face was now not an inch from his. She smiled and leaned down and kissed his neck. Alec felt a shudder run through him at the light touch of her full soft lips.
She moved her head back up and started kissing his mouth. She led him into her room a little. Alec was nearly out raged at himself now. It ended here, he would have the control. He wrapped his arms around her waist and began kissing her back as full as he knew how to. His kiss had made women melt before, but with Max, she just kept returning the kiss with full force.
She pulled back for a moment, and he had a chance to look at her. Her eyes were large and darker then ever, slightly glazed over. She had the strangest look, like she was looking at him but not AT him. He stepped back, and reluctantly moved away from her. "I should go" he said, and turned to leave.
"Your leaving me?" she said in a little whine. He was going to. Really. He had every intention to leave. But his body had a mind of it's own. He turned back around and rushed back over to her. He grabbed her waist and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck and kissed him on the mouth. He returned the kiss, but then moved his mouth down to her neck, leaving a trail of kisses as far as her shirt collar went down, before moving back to her mouth.
She moved her mouth to his cheek and laid kisses all over his soft skin. He kissed her forehead, then she pulled back slightly and looked at him. He put his face next to hers so they were cheek to cheek for just a moment. It was the most intimate moment he had had since Rachel. He had slept with many women, besides Rachel, but with them, it had been just that. Sex.
But with Rachel, and now Max, he felt more. There was feeling behind every movement. They moved together, it was like a dance. He had first felt this rhythmical feeling with Max when they were fighting. It was like they both knew what the other one was going to do.
It had been different with Rachel. He felt it with her as he was placing her small delicate pale hands on the piano, showing her a more proper form. She had looked at him, starring right into his soul. He hadn't felt it again until Max.
And he loved it. He reveled in the feeling of being complete. He moved back and sat on Max's bed. She cupped his face with her hands and stared at him. He stared right back. Their lips once again met and He turned them over, so they were lying down now with him on top. "Max" he said in a shuddering breath as he came up for air. She simply pulled him back down and continued to kiss him.
PRESENT
Alec leaned his head against the wet wall of the shower. He hated that it was Max who had reawakened this feeling. Why her? Why the one woman that was off limits. And here he was, in the bathroom of the man who loved her. Mooching off of him. Off of his house, his money, his possessions, and His girlfriend.
He stepped out of the water that was now running cold and wrapped a towel around his body. He cleared the steam off of the mirror with his hand and looked at his dripping wet form. her ran his hand through his hair, removing some of the water, and ran his hands over his face.
When he had woken up this morning to her looking down at him horrified, he thought he would die. He smiled at her, hoping to wash the look away with his charm, it didn't work though. He hated what he saw in her eyes. Worry, disgust almost. And then she had called him Ben. She thought he was Ben. He was beginning to feal like she would never see Alec, Only her dead brother who had begged her to kill him.
The pain he felt when she said that was unbearable. Then she had accused him of lying when he was simply trying to explain what had happened. She had flinched away from his touch. But in the end she did remember, and she realized that Ben was an allusion. Or did she? She had kissed him, and he was sure she knew it was him she was kissing, because when she though he was Ben, she was disgusted with the idea of having sex with him.
But he wasn't so sure she could just snap out of it. He was beginning to doubt it more and more as the seconds past. She was sick. One does not just realize that there delusions are a delusion just like that. He quickly put on his clothes. He needed to go back there and see if she really was all right. They could ride their Bikes to work together, or something.
He walked out of the penthouse, "I have some things to do, I'll be back soon" he called to Logan and shut the door behind him before waiting for a reply.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max sipped up her Jam pony jacket up half way, and grabbed her messenger Bag. She her sun glasses on her head and Got her bicycle from her room and left her apartment. Alec was right outside of her apartment in the hall, waiting with his bike.
"Hey Max, what's up?" he asked her nervously, his neck itching again.
"Umm.... not much, just going to work, like you I see" she said. Alec nodded.
"I thought we could go together, catch up ya know" he said giving her his most charming Alec grin.
"What ever" she said pushing her sunglasses down over her eyes.
Alec noticed something gold hanging from a chain around her neck. He reached out and touched it, studding the object. "Ooo, pretty, what is it?" he asked he looked at the small woman on the necklace, admiring it.
"Oh, that's right, you don't learn about religion in manticore. Its the virgin Mary" she said. She looked down at his hand and waited for him to move it away from her. But he didn't, instead, he moved his hand over the exposed skin over the neck line of her shirt, and moved his hand up to cup her cheek. She leaned into the soft skin of his hand without thinking. "Max, are you okay? I mean really".
"mmmhmmm....." she said, her eyes closing not really paying attention to the question, more to the warmth radiating from his hand.
"Are you sure, because this morning, when you thought I was Ben" she pulled away from him, her eyes shot open and she looked at him. "And then you know, sleeping with me is pretty much out of character for you" he went on.
"Alec I'm fine, I'm always all right" she said. Alec remembered saying the same words to her not to long ago. He had not been all right. "And about last night, that can't happen again. You understand right? I mean, I like you. More then I should probably" she said. He smiled at the second part of what she had said. "SOMETIMES" she added sternly. He frowned again. "But you and me, it just can't be. I'm with Logan" she paused as if wondering if she should go on, "I love him. And, I don't know, maybe if things were different.., but they're not. I can't be with you Alec. Not now, not ever".
Alec nearly stumbled back in pain. "But Max, you can't BE with Logan either. Not with out killing him" Alec stated. He was expecting this from Max. He knew it was coming, but he hadn't dreamed it would hurt this much. He couldn't remember being rejected. Well, maybe a couple times. But he always comforted himself by choosing to believe they were lesbians. Like Asha. She was definitely Gay. Or so he chose to believe.
"Thanks to you" Max said. Alec opened his mouth to apologize again, but she stopped him, "No Alec, I know your sorry, and I know it wasn't really your fault, you were just following orders. But my point is, Maybe I can't be with him physically, But, he's still there. And he loves me, and I love him. And as soon as we have a cure-"
she was cut off by Alec, "A cure. A CURE!" he shouted. Always this stupid cure. Well, Maxi, wake up already, What if there is no cure. Or even if there is, what if you never find it. You'll be an old women, never knowing the love of any man But one that you could never touch. You'll wake up one morning, and realize that you wasted your life away. That's assuming that Logan doesn't leave you for some girl who's even younger then you, who he can touch with out dyeing. Come back to reality already Max, Maybe your just not meant to be with Logan?" Alec stopped talking, he had just let out months worth of anger and pent up frustration.
"Oh" Max said now red with anger, "And who is the right person for me? You solider boy? Monty Cora?"
"Well Manticore sure seemed to think so" he said.
"Manticore" she spit out disgustedly. "Like they care about love, like they know anything about it" she yelled.
"They seem to know more then you. Admit it, your just a confused little girl who doesn't know anything about love.
"Oh, is that what this is about then? Love? I don't think so. Love has nothing to do with this. You know that and so do I. It was an attraction. A simple attraction, nothing more. An itch that needed to be scratched, well, believe me, that itch is gone now."
"An itch, that's all this was?" how can you say that?" he said hurt.
His words bounced right past her she continued her rant, "and who are you to point fingers about not know about love. About confusion. You killed the girl you loved, well I'm willing to put up more of a fight for the one I love", as soon as the words left her mouth she regretted them.
Alec didn't say anything. He tightly griped the handle bars of his bicycle. He clenched his jaw tightly shut. He looked right at her. The pain in his eyes was more emotion then he had ever seen from him. He turned away. They were now outside and he hopped on his bike, riding quickly away.
"Ouch" Ben said from behind her.
Max turned into his arms and let her bike fall to the ground. "Oh Ben, what have I done" she said. "He loved Rachel, he tried to save her. I cant believe I said that. But, what he was saying about me and Logan",
"Shhhh" Ben silenced her rubbing her back, "What he said about you and Logan is right" Ben told her. Max was ready to pull back but he stopped her, "Maxie, you know this is true, deep down inside or I wouldn't be saying this. You and Logan both are wasting your life away trying to find a cure. Don't you think if it was meant to be you would of found a cure by now" he asked. "Your putting Logan in danger just by being near him. You could slip at any minute, and just the tiniest touch is all that would be needed to kill him. Your putting him at the same risk Alec had Rachel at. Don't make his mistake. If you love him, then you need to leave him"
Max thought about what he was saying. It sank to the bottom of her stomach. She couldn't bear the though that she and Logan could never be together. It was just to wrong. To cruel a punishment from the fates. "Maxie" Ben said compassionately, "It may seem like the end of the world now, but time heals all wounds, and so does love. You'll both find other people. And you'll both have your happy ending, just not the ones you were expecting".
Max wiped her tears on Ben's shirt and left his embrace to pick up her bike. She really didn't want what Ben was saying to be true. But she knew. She had always know that things might not work with Logan. But her heart couldn't take the thought right now. She recoiled inside herself. She went back into the arms of Ben, sinking deeper into her insanity, and welcoming the mind numbing darkness it offered at the moment, and she fainted.