Chapter 12................And now what?
A/N-Okay, well, somebody left me a review that really upset me. It wasn't that it was a bad review. I don't mind constructive criticism, I appreciate it in fact. But I do not appreciate flaming. It is just rude. I right this story for people to read and enjoy. If you don't enjoy it, then please leave me a review, or an e-mail telling me why. But try to do it in a nice way please. And another thing, if you are a Max/Logan shipper, why are you reading this fanfic? It clearly stated in the summery that it was a Max/Alec. And if you are a Max/Logan shipper, then you most likely wont enjoy it, though if you do, that's great. I guess what I'm trying to say is, why the hell would anyone read a fic that they knew that they wouldn't enjoy, and then right a rude review telling them they were stupid? That type of person just enjoys causing other people pain, that's all I can conclude from it. And one more thing, Alec is so NOT ugly. Thank you. And please enjoy this next chapter:)
Max opened the door to Alecs apartment and walked in. They were talking about her, Zack and Alec, Max could tell. They both got really quiet when she entered, and Alec completely gave it away. Zack kept his cool, but Alec was scratching the back of his neck. She had caught on that he always did that when he was nervous, or something like that. He could never keep his hands still. "I'll go with you" she said softly, looking at the floor.
It took Alec a moment to catch on to what she was saying, but Zack got it right away. "Good" he said. "I'm coming with you, just to get you settled, make sure you're okay" he didn't want to say anything about making sure she got over her Ben thing. He didn't want her to run again.
Alec walked over to her, "We're going to do the assignment for Logan, and then we'll leave. As soon as possible." Alec said. "Have you thought about where you want to go? I figured that Logan, if he doesn't completely hate us, could get us new identities or something. That's his thing right? he's good at that".
"He'll do it" Max said. She didn't want to think about Logan at the moment. She knew that if she did, she would just lay down and die somewhere. But the feeling would pass eventually. It had to. "I don't care where we go, as long as it's far far away, and as long as you promise we'll come back some day" she said.
Alec nodded. Max went into the kitchen, she was going to cook. She could become some stupid little house wife or something. Not really her ideal life, but she thought that maybe if she just kept on moving, and doing things, then she would be okay. "What do you want for breakfast?" she asked Zack and Alec.
Zack and Alec stepped back in aww, "who are you, and what have you done with my sister?" Zack said.
"Oh my, two miracles in one day, Max offers to cook, and Zack makes a joke" Alec said.
They both glared at them. "Is he always this annoying?" Zack asked motioning to Alec.
"Pretty much" Max said glaring at Alec. Her heart wasn't in the stare though, and after a moment her attractive features softened. "Now, I just figured, I need to cook or something. You Alec, eat horribly, when was the last time you ate something green, And I don't mean any form of candy" Alec said nothing, "And Zack, your used to home cooked meals, wouldn't want to make you all uncomfortable here with us, since your going out of your way for my well being" she said. She had pretty much blocked out the memory of her argument with Zack, not wanting to spoil his presence, and not wanting to give up Ben yet, who she hadn't seen for a while. She looked around for a moment, to see if he was anywhere near.
"Looking for something?" Alec asked her. She ignored him. After a moment he went on, "how about pancakes, do you know how to make pancakes? I think I have pancake mix. I was dating this girl for a while who made panca- " He stopped talking when He saw that Max was glaring at him. but she searched in the cabinets for the mix any ways. "So, how about Australia?" Alec said.
"Um..... I don't think so, it gets so hot there" she said. She preferred weather on the colder side.
"South America?" Zack suggested. Max shook her head, it was too close.
"Maybe We could go to Ireland, I've always wanted to go there, I don't know why" she said.
"That's fine with me" Alec said. Zack nodded in agreement. I'll talk to Logan about new identities and stuff. Getting ids etc..." Max looked at him. "On second thought, maybe you should do that Zack. I don't think I'm Logans favorite person right now" He said.
"That's a good idea, now let's stop talking about Logan" Max said. She thought she should go to her house and pack. She wanted to get out of the apartment as soon as possible. She didn't want to stay in that dark dank hole. She didn't want to wake up cold and alone. She wanted to stay here with Alec. But she didn't really even want to go back to pack. She wanted to say good bye to OC and all, but she didn't want to go to her apartment. She didn't really know why, she just didn't want to. "Zack, could you do me a big huge favor?" she sweetly asked Zack with her best smile.
"Depends on what it is" Zack said, but his face softened as it always did at Max's face. And she knew he would do anything she asked of him at the moment.
"Can you go to my apartment, ask OC to pack for me, and then have her bring my stuff over here?" she asked Zack. She didn't bother to ask Alec if it was okay for her to move in with him. She knew it would be.
Zack nodded, but he still asked, "Are you sure you wouldn't rather do it yourself?"
Max nodded, "I'm sure" she said. Zack nodded and left. Max got down some bowels and took some milk out of the fridge. She said nothing to Alec, she simply read the directions on the pancake mix.
After a couple of minutes, Alec got tired of the silence. Max looked depressed making pancakes for him. And if there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was a depressed woman making pancakes. Especially if that woman was Max. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "You look unhappy Max" he said softly into her ear. She leaned back into him and rested her hands on top of his. "Max, are you sure your not going to regret this?" he asked her.
Max looked at him and smiled. "Oh I'll regret it all right. At least five minutes of every day. But the other twenty three hours and fifty five minutes, you can spend making it up to me" she said.
"Oh no" Alec said, "I think I might regret this" he whispered into her ear. She slapped his hands and turned around in his arms. She stared up at him, still looking sad. "Are we going to be okay Max" he asked, "Really, I mean, do you really think that the two of us are fit to raise a child. And are we really going to be able to tolerate each other?".
Max shook her head and rested it on his chest, "I don't know" she said quietly, "But I hope so". She went up on her tip toes and kissed his cheek, she then turned around and continued to make the pancakes.
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Max was sitting at the table picking at a peanut butter sandwich when OC and Zack finally got to Alecs apartment. OC was carrying two medium sized bags of stuff, and Zack had one large suit case and one small one. He tossed the small one her way, "Max, it's not practical to travel with all this stuff, I tried to tell Cindy over here but she wouldn't listen" Zack complained.
"My Boos gotta have her things" OC said. She set the medium bags down. "The big one has your clothes in it. One of the medium has coats and shoes. The other, has personal items I thought you would want to bring, and the small has tooth brush hair stuff etc..." Cindy said.
Max nodded, "Thanks" she said. "I'll try to thin things out Zack" she told him. She grabbed the large suite case, and went into Alecs room to change. She was getting tired of the sweat suit, it was way to big. The sleeves of the sweatshirt kept on falling over her hands, and she was constantly have to pull up the sweat pants. She went through some of her clothes and decided that a simple white T-shirt and jeans would be fine. She changed and went back into the living room.
Zack was sitting on the couch with OC, they were watching some music video channel. Max wasn't to interested in tv, it was so dull to her. "Where's your boy?" OC asked.
Max was about to say that Alec wasn't her boy, but she thought about it, and he kind of was now. "He's taking a shower" Max said.
Right after the words left her lips, Alec walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Hey look, we have company" Alec said. Max looked at him. His body was wet, which was a very good look for him. His hair was messed up on his head, Max suddenly had an urge to go over to him and fix his hair, comb it down with her hands.
She shrugged thinking why not and went over and did just that. It was, after all, okay to do things like that now. He looked down at her and smiled. She smiled right back, and gave his chest a quick pat, "Go get dressed" she said. He nodded and went into his room.
Max went over to the couch and sat between Zack and OC. She rested her head on the shoulder of her big brother. His shoulder was stiff and buff. Not like the softer shoulder of Ben. Ben She looked around the room for him again. She still hadn't seen him. She was getting worried. But then there he was, in the corner, looking at her, smiling. She rested her head back on Zacks shoulder.
Alec came out again and sat between Max and OC. Max noticed that Oc was glaring at him. "Did you talk to Logan yet?" Alec asked Zack, shifting uncomfortable under OCs glare.
Zack nodded. Logans getting papers etc. ready for us. He's also looking for places in Ireland for us to live in, that are some what cut off. Nothing with a lot of people around you know?" Alec nodded. "And we're going to go up to this Manticore warehouse place tomorrow".
Max lifted her head up at this, "your leaving me?" she asked sadly. She didn't want to be left alone.
"You'll have me" Ben said from his place in the corner. Max smiled at him.
"I'm gonna stay here with you Boo" Oc said. Max smiled at her. Oc smiled back but it was forced. She was staying here to watch her and she knew it. Zack had filled her in on Max's hallucinations. "It' will give us some time before you go off over seas. We can go to crash and all, you can say good bye to every one" OC said. "Which brings me to a point, how are you all gonna get money?" OC asked.
"Well, I have some money, lot's of money actually, and I have no intention of telling you how I got it" Alec said. "And, we get our paychecks tomorrow. Logan can get us the plane tickets. Zack has some cash stashed away. I have a few things I can fence, And Max can sell her bike" Alec said.
"What?" Max said sitting strait up, "No, absolutely not, I'm not selling my baby" Max said.
"Max come on, I'm selling my car, and it's not like you can bring it with us" Alec said.
"Fine!" Max said glaring at him, "Want me to cut off all my hair and sell it while we're at it?" She asked angrily, "Or maybe I can sell my teeth, or some vital organ? Huh Alec? Huh?" She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.
"Oh Max, you're completely over reacting to all of this. It's just a motorcycle, we can get you a new one" Alec said.
"Whatever" Max said. She sat down on a chair and sulked for a minute, but then thought about something and stood up quickly. "Alec, what are we going to do about Joshua?" Max asked quietly. Shed didn't want to leave him, but there was no safe way to bring him with them.
"Original Cindy can take care of Joshua, and Logan can help" OC said. Alec nodded as if to say 'good idea'.
Max wasn't to sure though. She really didn't want to leave him. She wasn't sure that anyone else was fit to take care of him. But there was no other option. She hated that fact, but she new that it was the truth. She nodded silently and walked over to the couch and sat in silence, looking right ahead of her, at nothing.
Alec motioned for Zack and OC to come close so he could talk to them. "Hey, I don't think Max really wants company right now" Alec said. "I think she's tired or something".
"Max Tired? she never gets tired" Zack said. Alec shrugged. "Okay, I'll leave. But, I'm coming back, I got no place else to stay" he said.
OC nodded. They went over to Max and said good bye. She smiled at them both and they left. Alec walked over and sat next to Max on the couch. Se laid down resting her head in his lap. He combed the hair back from her face, and tucked it behind her ears. And so they sat there for a while, Max closing her eyes in peace, though not sleeping, with Alec stroking her hair. Alec also sat in perfect peace, thinking about their lives. He didn't know how things would turn out for them. He was really quite worried about it actually. But if they had moments like this, even if they were few, it would all be worth it.
She looked up at him, smiling softly at him. She reached a hand up and stroked his cheek a little, before resting her hand on his chest. "Thank you" she said softly"
"Thanks for what?" Alec said.
"For everything" she said. "For being here for me when I need you. For letting me lye in your lap like we're kids again, Thank you" she said.
'Like we're kids again?' Alec didn't understand that remark. Not at first. But then realization struck him down. He had been hopping that she was better. It was stupid of him, but still. She had been acting some what normal, except for the cooking, and the silence, and the letting people do things for her. But she hadn't been talking to herself, or calling him Ben, until now. Though she had been looking around the room allot. "Max" he said softly.
"Yes Ben?" she said sweetly.
That confirmed it. Here he was sitting here thinking about how great this moment was. How wonderful it was. And she thought he was someone else completely. He wanted to jump up. He wanted to leave her there. He felt horrible and like a moron. But she was looking up at him, smiling. And he couldn't just leave her. She looked so young and innocent. Why did he have to have Ben's face? Why couldn't she of Met him first? Why couldn't she ever look at him with out seeing her dead brother? Why did she have to go crazy now? When he needed her. When it was important for her to be both mentally and physically healthy. "I'm not Ben, I'm Alec" he said softly. He tried to keep his voice kind, not letting the pain of her mistake show.
She quickly sat up, "Alec I'm.. I'm sorry. It's just, sometimes when I was little, and I couldn't sleep, or I was having seizures or even if I had just had a really bad day, I would lay my head in his lap and he would stroke my hair back" She explained, "And when I looked at you just now, you just look so much like him, and-and" she stopped talking and looked away from him.
Alec reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, "Max it's okay" he said. But it wasn't okay. She thought that he was Ben. He was the father of her child, and she couldn't see him as anything but her dead brother. How were they ever supposed to be okay. But, he still loved her. He had never told her so, but he did. And it tore him up not only to be seen as Ben, but to see Max in this state. She was obviously in pain. That was why she had lost it. She couldn't deal with the idea of being responsible for the death of her favorite brother. And looking at her right now, all he wanted to do was wrap her in his arms and be Ben. So she didn't kill him. So she could be at peace. If he could be Ben for her, then she would be happy. But he wasn't Ben, and he couldn't be Ben. And they were in trouble.
"Alec, I'm sorry" Max said. He couldn't see her face, she was looking away, and her brown curls formed a curtain over her face. "You've been so good to me, and here I am, thinking your Ben, it's so, I'm sorry" she said again.
"Shhh, Max, it's okay" he repeated. He pulled her over to him, so that her was sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him on the couch, and Max on his lap, curled up with her body pulled against his chest. "Everything is okay" he said it for himself as much as he said it for her. After a few minutes of lying like that, Max's breathing began to slow, and Alec assumed she was asleep. He closed his eyes and tried to revel in this moment. But it was hard. He couldn't shake away the idea that she could be thinking he was Ben again. But he did fall asleep after a while, though it wasn't the most peaceful sleep.
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A/N-Okay, well, somebody left me a review that really upset me. It wasn't that it was a bad review. I don't mind constructive criticism, I appreciate it in fact. But I do not appreciate flaming. It is just rude. I right this story for people to read and enjoy. If you don't enjoy it, then please leave me a review, or an e-mail telling me why. But try to do it in a nice way please. And another thing, if you are a Max/Logan shipper, why are you reading this fanfic? It clearly stated in the summery that it was a Max/Alec. And if you are a Max/Logan shipper, then you most likely wont enjoy it, though if you do, that's great. I guess what I'm trying to say is, why the hell would anyone read a fic that they knew that they wouldn't enjoy, and then right a rude review telling them they were stupid? That type of person just enjoys causing other people pain, that's all I can conclude from it. And one more thing, Alec is so NOT ugly. Thank you. And please enjoy this next chapter:)
Max opened the door to Alecs apartment and walked in. They were talking about her, Zack and Alec, Max could tell. They both got really quiet when she entered, and Alec completely gave it away. Zack kept his cool, but Alec was scratching the back of his neck. She had caught on that he always did that when he was nervous, or something like that. He could never keep his hands still. "I'll go with you" she said softly, looking at the floor.
It took Alec a moment to catch on to what she was saying, but Zack got it right away. "Good" he said. "I'm coming with you, just to get you settled, make sure you're okay" he didn't want to say anything about making sure she got over her Ben thing. He didn't want her to run again.
Alec walked over to her, "We're going to do the assignment for Logan, and then we'll leave. As soon as possible." Alec said. "Have you thought about where you want to go? I figured that Logan, if he doesn't completely hate us, could get us new identities or something. That's his thing right? he's good at that".
"He'll do it" Max said. She didn't want to think about Logan at the moment. She knew that if she did, she would just lay down and die somewhere. But the feeling would pass eventually. It had to. "I don't care where we go, as long as it's far far away, and as long as you promise we'll come back some day" she said.
Alec nodded. Max went into the kitchen, she was going to cook. She could become some stupid little house wife or something. Not really her ideal life, but she thought that maybe if she just kept on moving, and doing things, then she would be okay. "What do you want for breakfast?" she asked Zack and Alec.
Zack and Alec stepped back in aww, "who are you, and what have you done with my sister?" Zack said.
"Oh my, two miracles in one day, Max offers to cook, and Zack makes a joke" Alec said.
They both glared at them. "Is he always this annoying?" Zack asked motioning to Alec.
"Pretty much" Max said glaring at Alec. Her heart wasn't in the stare though, and after a moment her attractive features softened. "Now, I just figured, I need to cook or something. You Alec, eat horribly, when was the last time you ate something green, And I don't mean any form of candy" Alec said nothing, "And Zack, your used to home cooked meals, wouldn't want to make you all uncomfortable here with us, since your going out of your way for my well being" she said. She had pretty much blocked out the memory of her argument with Zack, not wanting to spoil his presence, and not wanting to give up Ben yet, who she hadn't seen for a while. She looked around for a moment, to see if he was anywhere near.
"Looking for something?" Alec asked her. She ignored him. After a moment he went on, "how about pancakes, do you know how to make pancakes? I think I have pancake mix. I was dating this girl for a while who made panca- " He stopped talking when He saw that Max was glaring at him. but she searched in the cabinets for the mix any ways. "So, how about Australia?" Alec said.
"Um..... I don't think so, it gets so hot there" she said. She preferred weather on the colder side.
"South America?" Zack suggested. Max shook her head, it was too close.
"Maybe We could go to Ireland, I've always wanted to go there, I don't know why" she said.
"That's fine with me" Alec said. Zack nodded in agreement. I'll talk to Logan about new identities and stuff. Getting ids etc..." Max looked at him. "On second thought, maybe you should do that Zack. I don't think I'm Logans favorite person right now" He said.
"That's a good idea, now let's stop talking about Logan" Max said. She thought she should go to her house and pack. She wanted to get out of the apartment as soon as possible. She didn't want to stay in that dark dank hole. She didn't want to wake up cold and alone. She wanted to stay here with Alec. But she didn't really even want to go back to pack. She wanted to say good bye to OC and all, but she didn't want to go to her apartment. She didn't really know why, she just didn't want to. "Zack, could you do me a big huge favor?" she sweetly asked Zack with her best smile.
"Depends on what it is" Zack said, but his face softened as it always did at Max's face. And she knew he would do anything she asked of him at the moment.
"Can you go to my apartment, ask OC to pack for me, and then have her bring my stuff over here?" she asked Zack. She didn't bother to ask Alec if it was okay for her to move in with him. She knew it would be.
Zack nodded, but he still asked, "Are you sure you wouldn't rather do it yourself?"
Max nodded, "I'm sure" she said. Zack nodded and left. Max got down some bowels and took some milk out of the fridge. She said nothing to Alec, she simply read the directions on the pancake mix.
After a couple of minutes, Alec got tired of the silence. Max looked depressed making pancakes for him. And if there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was a depressed woman making pancakes. Especially if that woman was Max. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "You look unhappy Max" he said softly into her ear. She leaned back into him and rested her hands on top of his. "Max, are you sure your not going to regret this?" he asked her.
Max looked at him and smiled. "Oh I'll regret it all right. At least five minutes of every day. But the other twenty three hours and fifty five minutes, you can spend making it up to me" she said.
"Oh no" Alec said, "I think I might regret this" he whispered into her ear. She slapped his hands and turned around in his arms. She stared up at him, still looking sad. "Are we going to be okay Max" he asked, "Really, I mean, do you really think that the two of us are fit to raise a child. And are we really going to be able to tolerate each other?".
Max shook her head and rested it on his chest, "I don't know" she said quietly, "But I hope so". She went up on her tip toes and kissed his cheek, she then turned around and continued to make the pancakes.
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Max was sitting at the table picking at a peanut butter sandwich when OC and Zack finally got to Alecs apartment. OC was carrying two medium sized bags of stuff, and Zack had one large suit case and one small one. He tossed the small one her way, "Max, it's not practical to travel with all this stuff, I tried to tell Cindy over here but she wouldn't listen" Zack complained.
"My Boos gotta have her things" OC said. She set the medium bags down. "The big one has your clothes in it. One of the medium has coats and shoes. The other, has personal items I thought you would want to bring, and the small has tooth brush hair stuff etc..." Cindy said.
Max nodded, "Thanks" she said. "I'll try to thin things out Zack" she told him. She grabbed the large suite case, and went into Alecs room to change. She was getting tired of the sweat suit, it was way to big. The sleeves of the sweatshirt kept on falling over her hands, and she was constantly have to pull up the sweat pants. She went through some of her clothes and decided that a simple white T-shirt and jeans would be fine. She changed and went back into the living room.
Zack was sitting on the couch with OC, they were watching some music video channel. Max wasn't to interested in tv, it was so dull to her. "Where's your boy?" OC asked.
Max was about to say that Alec wasn't her boy, but she thought about it, and he kind of was now. "He's taking a shower" Max said.
Right after the words left her lips, Alec walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Hey look, we have company" Alec said. Max looked at him. His body was wet, which was a very good look for him. His hair was messed up on his head, Max suddenly had an urge to go over to him and fix his hair, comb it down with her hands.
She shrugged thinking why not and went over and did just that. It was, after all, okay to do things like that now. He looked down at her and smiled. She smiled right back, and gave his chest a quick pat, "Go get dressed" she said. He nodded and went into his room.
Max went over to the couch and sat between Zack and OC. She rested her head on the shoulder of her big brother. His shoulder was stiff and buff. Not like the softer shoulder of Ben. Ben She looked around the room for him again. She still hadn't seen him. She was getting worried. But then there he was, in the corner, looking at her, smiling. She rested her head back on Zacks shoulder.
Alec came out again and sat between Max and OC. Max noticed that Oc was glaring at him. "Did you talk to Logan yet?" Alec asked Zack, shifting uncomfortable under OCs glare.
Zack nodded. Logans getting papers etc. ready for us. He's also looking for places in Ireland for us to live in, that are some what cut off. Nothing with a lot of people around you know?" Alec nodded. "And we're going to go up to this Manticore warehouse place tomorrow".
Max lifted her head up at this, "your leaving me?" she asked sadly. She didn't want to be left alone.
"You'll have me" Ben said from his place in the corner. Max smiled at him.
"I'm gonna stay here with you Boo" Oc said. Max smiled at her. Oc smiled back but it was forced. She was staying here to watch her and she knew it. Zack had filled her in on Max's hallucinations. "It' will give us some time before you go off over seas. We can go to crash and all, you can say good bye to every one" OC said. "Which brings me to a point, how are you all gonna get money?" OC asked.
"Well, I have some money, lot's of money actually, and I have no intention of telling you how I got it" Alec said. "And, we get our paychecks tomorrow. Logan can get us the plane tickets. Zack has some cash stashed away. I have a few things I can fence, And Max can sell her bike" Alec said.
"What?" Max said sitting strait up, "No, absolutely not, I'm not selling my baby" Max said.
"Max come on, I'm selling my car, and it's not like you can bring it with us" Alec said.
"Fine!" Max said glaring at him, "Want me to cut off all my hair and sell it while we're at it?" She asked angrily, "Or maybe I can sell my teeth, or some vital organ? Huh Alec? Huh?" She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.
"Oh Max, you're completely over reacting to all of this. It's just a motorcycle, we can get you a new one" Alec said.
"Whatever" Max said. She sat down on a chair and sulked for a minute, but then thought about something and stood up quickly. "Alec, what are we going to do about Joshua?" Max asked quietly. Shed didn't want to leave him, but there was no safe way to bring him with them.
"Original Cindy can take care of Joshua, and Logan can help" OC said. Alec nodded as if to say 'good idea'.
Max wasn't to sure though. She really didn't want to leave him. She wasn't sure that anyone else was fit to take care of him. But there was no other option. She hated that fact, but she new that it was the truth. She nodded silently and walked over to the couch and sat in silence, looking right ahead of her, at nothing.
Alec motioned for Zack and OC to come close so he could talk to them. "Hey, I don't think Max really wants company right now" Alec said. "I think she's tired or something".
"Max Tired? she never gets tired" Zack said. Alec shrugged. "Okay, I'll leave. But, I'm coming back, I got no place else to stay" he said.
OC nodded. They went over to Max and said good bye. She smiled at them both and they left. Alec walked over and sat next to Max on the couch. Se laid down resting her head in his lap. He combed the hair back from her face, and tucked it behind her ears. And so they sat there for a while, Max closing her eyes in peace, though not sleeping, with Alec stroking her hair. Alec also sat in perfect peace, thinking about their lives. He didn't know how things would turn out for them. He was really quite worried about it actually. But if they had moments like this, even if they were few, it would all be worth it.
She looked up at him, smiling softly at him. She reached a hand up and stroked his cheek a little, before resting her hand on his chest. "Thank you" she said softly"
"Thanks for what?" Alec said.
"For everything" she said. "For being here for me when I need you. For letting me lye in your lap like we're kids again, Thank you" she said.
'Like we're kids again?' Alec didn't understand that remark. Not at first. But then realization struck him down. He had been hopping that she was better. It was stupid of him, but still. She had been acting some what normal, except for the cooking, and the silence, and the letting people do things for her. But she hadn't been talking to herself, or calling him Ben, until now. Though she had been looking around the room allot. "Max" he said softly.
"Yes Ben?" she said sweetly.
That confirmed it. Here he was sitting here thinking about how great this moment was. How wonderful it was. And she thought he was someone else completely. He wanted to jump up. He wanted to leave her there. He felt horrible and like a moron. But she was looking up at him, smiling. And he couldn't just leave her. She looked so young and innocent. Why did he have to have Ben's face? Why couldn't she of Met him first? Why couldn't she ever look at him with out seeing her dead brother? Why did she have to go crazy now? When he needed her. When it was important for her to be both mentally and physically healthy. "I'm not Ben, I'm Alec" he said softly. He tried to keep his voice kind, not letting the pain of her mistake show.
She quickly sat up, "Alec I'm.. I'm sorry. It's just, sometimes when I was little, and I couldn't sleep, or I was having seizures or even if I had just had a really bad day, I would lay my head in his lap and he would stroke my hair back" She explained, "And when I looked at you just now, you just look so much like him, and-and" she stopped talking and looked away from him.
Alec reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, "Max it's okay" he said. But it wasn't okay. She thought that he was Ben. He was the father of her child, and she couldn't see him as anything but her dead brother. How were they ever supposed to be okay. But, he still loved her. He had never told her so, but he did. And it tore him up not only to be seen as Ben, but to see Max in this state. She was obviously in pain. That was why she had lost it. She couldn't deal with the idea of being responsible for the death of her favorite brother. And looking at her right now, all he wanted to do was wrap her in his arms and be Ben. So she didn't kill him. So she could be at peace. If he could be Ben for her, then she would be happy. But he wasn't Ben, and he couldn't be Ben. And they were in trouble.
"Alec, I'm sorry" Max said. He couldn't see her face, she was looking away, and her brown curls formed a curtain over her face. "You've been so good to me, and here I am, thinking your Ben, it's so, I'm sorry" she said again.
"Shhh, Max, it's okay" he repeated. He pulled her over to him, so that her was sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him on the couch, and Max on his lap, curled up with her body pulled against his chest. "Everything is okay" he said it for himself as much as he said it for her. After a few minutes of lying like that, Max's breathing began to slow, and Alec assumed she was asleep. He closed his eyes and tried to revel in this moment. But it was hard. He couldn't shake away the idea that she could be thinking he was Ben again. But he did fall asleep after a while, though it wasn't the most peaceful sleep.
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