Chapter 19...............After
A/N-Okay, the answers to some questions that were asked. First of all, when Alec was thinking that Max kept him around as a sort of a replacement Ben, it wasn't meant to suggest that Max was in love with Ben. It was supposed to show Alec's insecurities in the Ben area. you know, the whole, 'what if she still looks at me and sees Ben' type of thing. And second of all, Andrea and George don't know the real identities of Max, Zack, and Alec, I'm just kind of stupid, and made some mistakes in the last chapter. I can't think of anymore questions at the moment, but I might answer some more at the end of this chapter. So here it is, Ben probably wont wake up yet, but he will be in it. I hope you all enjoy reading it. And please review a lot so I know I made the right decision with the whole Ben thing. Oh, and sorry for the wait, but I'm also writing my other fic, which is giving me a much harder time then it was supposed to. I'm currently not on speaking terms with it, for it has angered me.
Review review review!!!!!!!!
Max looked down at Ben. She was alone with him now, Zack and Alec were getting her things ready to leave the hospital, and they had let her have a moment alone with her thought to be dead brother. She didn't know what this meant. Was she sane then? Was Ben actually there with her when she had been talking to him? Was she not crazy at all? She shook her head. no. Even she, who wanted desperately to be normal couldn't try to believe that the Ben she had been talking to was actually Ben's misplaced spirit. It was inconceivable. Not to mention all the other things. She had more then once been absolutely sure that Alec was Ben. She had even had sex with Alec without even being aware of it. those are not the actions of a sane person.
But that didn't matter now. None of it did. Ben was here. She could reach out and touch him. And he was alive. Conscious? No. But alive? Yes. She reached out and cupped his cheek in her hand. His skin, though an unhealthy shade of pale, was still soft. she ran his fingers through his hair, which without proper attention had gone flat, and grown out to a longer length, like Alec's. She gently ran her fingers over the soft skin of his eyelids. She wondered what was happening in his mind right now. She wondered if he was dreaming, or if he was in a land of dark emptiness.
She shuddered at the though of her brother being consumed by emptiness. He looked beautiful, as Max knew he always would, but he looked unhealthy. Malnourished. He looked thin and pale, lacking the color that had once danced across his face. She dreamed of him waking up, and making big meals for him to nurse him back to health. Of siting with him in the sunlight with him, watching as color slowly returned to his skin.
What if he never wakes up? the unwanted thought echoed in her brain and haunted her thoughts. She couldn't bear the thought. When she had thought she had killed him, a part of her had died with him. She had slowly gone crazy. She knew that if he was given to her, only to be taken again, that there would be nothing slow about loosing her mind. She knew that the sanity she had been clinging to lately would simply snap, and she would recover again. Not even with Alec, Zack, and Her newly born daughter holding her to the ground. If she lost Ben again, she would simply loose it, and a part of her mind, a part that she tried to block out, knew that she wouldn't want to come out of it again.
Tears began to form in her eyes as she thought of it. She took Ben's hand and held it between her own. "I'm sorry" she said softly, still trying to hold back her sobs. "I'm sorry for killing you. I'm sorry for running away. For not being strong enough to save you. I'm sorry for allowing them to do what ever has been done to make you like this" she held his hand up to her face, and pressed it against her cheek. "I'm sorry I failed you when you needed me. But please Ben, please don't leave me again" she was unable to hold back the tears any longer, and her body was soon shuddering with sobs. "I'll fight for you this time" she promised him. She moved her face near him and kissed his cheek softly.
She heard a soft knock at the door, and quickly dropped his hand and began to dry her tears.
Zack walked in a moment later. Alec was behind him with the baby. Max walked up to Zack and threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in his chest. He rubbed her back gently in what had become a comfortable movement. He thought back to the first time she had hugged him. He had been posing as Sam. She had hated him, not that she had given him a fair chance, but she had been rude to him that whole day. Thinking back on the day though, he recalled being pretty annoying. But when she found out it was him, everything had changed. He could remember the look on her face when she was asking why he hadn't told her. but she didn't care anymore. she hadn't cared because of who he was. She had thrown her arms around him in a hug. A hug. He hadn't seen her for a decade, but she hugged him any ways.
He had Ben shocked, and didn't know how to react. so he did the only thing one could do when a beautiful woman threw her arms around them. He hugged her back. It was as awkward as could be expected. Zack wasn't exactly used to hugging people. But they way she had hugged him, with such unconditional love, had sparked something up inside of him. She had felt so small and warm against him. He had immediately wanted to be able to protect her, shield her against all evil in the world. More so then the other X5s. It was at that moment that he had fallen in love with her.
But that wasn't what she needed, not from him. She needed him as her big brother, and that's how he would be. "Shh, come on Max, you can come back latter, the hospitals been instructed to contact us if there's any change. Let's go home" he said.
She looked up at him, and nodded her head. She kept an arm around his waist, and he kept an arm around her shoulder, leading her out of the gray hospital room. Alec walked behind them, holding Morgaine. He felt slightly out of place. Max and Zack and Ben had something that he would never be able to touch. He looked down at the baby he cradled in his arms. Dark brown eyes looked up at him. He still found himself amazed every time he looked at this small child. She looked like Max, a lot like Max, well, as much as a baby could. But she also resembled Alec. And he couldn't seem to stop looking at her. He was in aww. Amazed.
He heard continuing to sniff, as her tears continued to fall. He almost wished that Ben hadn't been alive. He felt horrible for feeling like that, but if Ben was alive, why would she need Alec? Zack would leave evntualy, Alec knew this. And so did Max. Alec ofton felt like she just kept him around so she wouldn't be alone. But if Ben woke up, then Ben might stay. And Max wouldn't be alone. But no. Alec wouldn't leave, and he wouldn't let Max leave. They had a baby. Ben's presence wouldn't change that. He felt like an idiot for being so insecure. Max loved him, she had said so.
He sped up his steps a little so that he was walking next to Max now. "You feeling okay" he asked her tenderly.
She looked up at him. Her face was slightly stained with tears, but she wasn't crying at the moment. Her lips formed a soft smile, "yeah" she said quietly. "Let me hold our baby Alec" she said. Her voice sounded like that of a child, asking to hold her new baby sister. Not the voice of a woman, telling her husband to hand over the baby. He nodded anyway, glad that she seemed to of remembered her child. Her carefully gave her the baby.
She looked down at the small bundle with an expression that was nearly identical to the one that Alec had had a moment before. Something flashed across her face as she appeared to remember something important. As she moved the baby in her arms so that she could see the back of her neck, Alec realized what she had thought of. He was ready to scold himself for not thinking of it sooner. Truth be told, he had almost forgot about his own barcode, and the thought of the baby having one hadn't even occurred to him. Why would she have one. this baby, unlike Max and Alec, was not created in a test tube. She let out a sigh of relief as she saw the smooth flawless skin on the back of her neck. She looked up at Alec and smiled. Their baby may end up being stronger, smarter, faster and may have other amazing abilities, but she would have nothing on her neck telling people why.
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Alec opened his eyes to the morning light. He felt warm and happy. He rolled over to find Max missing, he let out a small sigh of disappointment. Morgaine however slept peacefully like the infant she was at his side. He put his hand on her stomach, and stroked her face. He couldn't seem to accept the fact he was a father, it all seemed so strange. It had been exactly two weeks since she was born, yet he still couldn't get over it. "Oh Morgana, do you have any idea where your mother is? I fear that she has abandoned us" he said quietly. But a moment latter he heard the musical sound of Max's laughter from the other room, and remembered that now that she was no longer pregnant, she was back to not sleeping much.
"Well," he said to the sleeping baby, "We still need sleep don't we" he closed his eyes, and attempted to go back to sleep.
His attempt at more sleep only lasted about five minutes, at which point Max came in the room, "Alec, I know your awake, now get up and spend time with us" she said. He continued to pretend to sleep. He was a very strong believer in sleeping in on Saturdays. "Alec, get up" she said again. Once again he didn't move. She sat on the bed next to him, and turned him onto his back. She rubbed his chest with her hands, and leaned her face down, so that lips were almost touching his ear. Her breath was warm on his skin, "Alec, Zack said he'd take Morgaine on a walk with him, I thought we could spend some time together" she said seductively.
Alec opened his eyes quickly and moved his hand to her waist. She kissed him sweetly on the mouth, then lifted her head up to look at him. "Good morning sunshine" she said smiling, "Now that your awake, come have breakfast" she said. She stood up, and walked to the other side of the be, and picked up the baby.
"Zack isn't going on a walk, is he" Alec asked catching on.
"Nope" she said shaking her head. She gently put the baby in the bassinet in the corner of their room.
Alec jumped out of bed, wearing only his boxers, and ran over to the door, shutting it before she could go back into the living room. He placed his hands on her waist and pulled her to him, he kissed her right below her ear, then said, "We could be very quiet" in a mischievous tone.
Max put a hand on the back of his neck, and began to kiss him from his collar bone to his ear, "I guess maybe" she said quietly. Alec smiled and kissed her mouth devouring her mouth with his own. He playfully lifted her off the ground, and she slipped her legs around his waist. She laughed softly into his mouth, then pulled back and looked down into his eyes. She moved her hands up to hold his face. She stroked his cheeks with her thumbs, "Your beautiful, you know that?" she said quietly to him.
He smiled his cocky grin, "Yup, I'm quite the catch" he said. "Your not to bad looking yourself" He added.
"And they say romance is dead" she said smiling and shaking her head at him. She went back to kissing him, and Alec moved them towards the bed, until they fell onto it, with Alec on top, slowly trailing kisses down Max's neck. Max ran her hands through Alecs feathery hair. Alec ran a hand over the silky skin of her back, under her shirt. She pulled his head back up to her face, and kissed the corner of his mouth. She ran a finger over his full pink lips, that were now swollen slightly from their kissing. "I lo-" her words were cut off by the sudden cries of the baby. They both let out a disappointed groan. Alec was reluctant to move off of her. "Come on Alec, give it up, it just wasn't meant to be this morning" she said pushing him off of her to go tend to the baby.
"So, what's the plan for today" Alec said crossing his legs in front of him, and resting his head on his hands.
Max came back to the bed with the baby, and began to feed her, "Well, I thought we would have breakfast, and I wanted to go to the hospital to visit Ben today, but that will only be for a little while" she said. Alec nodded, it had been a few days since she had visited Ben. "And I thought maybe we could go on a walk, to the park or something. I don't know, I'm not really to knowledgeable on what families are supposed to do, what do you think?" she said.
"Park sounds good. Ice cream sounds better" Alec said with a grin, he raised an eyebrow, "and ya know what sounds even better then ice cream?" he asked.
"There is a freezer full of ice cream, we don't need to go out for that. Hopefully this sun will remain today so we can go to the park after I visit Ben. And the other thing, well, we'll see about that" she said. "Now, you go make breakfast" she smiled.
"Can I make anything I want?" he asked with a suspicious smile.
"As long as it's not ice cream" she responded.
"Damn" he said. He pulled himself out of bed, and put on some pants. "I'm off to do the slave work" He walked out of the bedroom, into the living room. Zack was sitting on the couch, wearing only jeans, like Alec, reading the paper, and drinking coffee. "Good morning Zack" Alec said pleasantly.
"Morning" Zack grunted slightly less pleasantly. Alec had noticed that since Ben showed up, Zack had restarted the whole dark and sad thing, and fell deeply back into the whole over protective big brother thing. Alec missed the Zack that had become his buddy. Now he knew that every time Zack looked at him, all he saw was Ben. It was hoe Max used to look at him. Alec was really beginning to hate Ben, not that he had ever met the guy. Max paints him out to be a saint, besides the whole phsyco killer thing.
"Wanna help me make breakfast?" Alec asked trying to get Zack to talk to him, or joke or something.
Zack looked up and stared at him with a duh look, "Look who your talking too, how often do I volunteer to cook?" he said.
"You gonna to visit Ben with Max today?" Alec asked. Zack nodded, he was back to reading his news paper, ignoring Alec. This made Alec angry. He didn't like to be ignored, and he had felt extremely neglected by everyone since Ben reappeared. "So, what do ya think for breakfast, Eggs? Fruit salad? pancakes?" he said trying to get the attention of Zack again.
Zack just shrugged. Max however, who had been listening in on their conversation, if you could call it that, called out "Fruit salad".
Alec groaned a little Since he had been with Max, he always had to eat healthy things. Like fruit, and vegetables. He was willing to bet that they didn't even have chips in the house at the moment. "Okay love" he called back. Maybe if he flaunted the fact that he had Max, and Zack didn't, then the guy would get so angry that he would feel the need to yell at Alec. At least then he'd be acknowledging his presence. But he knew that wouldn't happen. Zack was used to the idea that Max was with Alec, and even if he did get really mad, it was more likely that he would just go on a walk or something. Alec sulked and walked into the kitchen to make a fruit salad.
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"Zack?" Max said breaking the cold silence of the room. She sat in a chair by the hospital bed, her hand covering Ben's. Zack stood next to her, with a hand resting on her shoulder. Alec stood in a corner of the room, leaning against the wall. He had Morgaine in a baby carrier strapped to his chest. It looked out of place on him. He still had that happy go lucky bachelor look to him. But he had a finely sculpted hand resting on the baby's bed, looking down on her with love.
"Yes Max?" Zack responded softly. He gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze.
Max took a deep breath, trying to find the strength to put it to words what had been plaguing her since they first stumbled upon Ben. "Zack, what if he doesn't wake up?" she choked out the words.
"He'll wake up" Zack said flatly. "He has to" Some emotion escaped into his word this time. "He's strong. An X5, like us. He'll wake up. They made us good" He told her. Max reached her free hand up and put it over Zacks. She returned her gaze to Ben. The nine year old told her that if she put her fingers over his nose and cut off his breathing, then he would wake up. She was tempted to, and she probably would if it wasn't for the fact that that same part of her was saying that she could then climb into bed with him and listen to stories about the good place.
Another thought occurred to her. "Zack, what if he wakes up, and starts killing people again?" Max asked now distressed with this thought. She had immediately assumed that Ben would wake up and be, well, Ben. But as she thought about it further, she realized that it was more likely that he was still crazy. But she analyzed it further and remembered their last fight. His heart hadn't been in it. And the way he had broken down before that. And right before he 'died'. He had looked up at her with those Ben eyes and-
Her thoughts were cut off by Zack, "Then we'll get him help. Or we'll help him" Zack told her. "It doesn't matter how he comes back. It's still Ben, and if it's Ben, then he'll be able to get better" he walked in front of her and kneeled on the ground in front of her, "Max, no matter what, you have to remember, it's Ben" he said this slowly and deliberately.
He reached out a hand and brushed a stray curl that had escaped her braid out of her face. "She closed her eyes and sighed, "I know" she said in a tired voice. "I know, it's just, I want so badly for things to be right. I want to be nine again, and I want to have you and Ben the way we were then. I mean, sometimes I think Ben was right. Everything did make sense there. I had you guys, and Tinga was alive, and so was Eva, and... and Brin wasn't brain washed and I had everyone" she felt tears coming again, but she was able to hold them back this time.
"Max you know as well as I do, that past us, nothing made sense there. For gods sake, we were just kids, and they held us under water for like five minutes" he said.
"Oh oh," Alec interrupted them, "Five minutes and thirteen seconds" he said smiling, obviously proud of himself.
Max glared at him. "I had four minutes and fifty five seconds" she said. He raised a cocky eyebrow. She looked down at Ben, and ran a hand over his cheek. "Ben had four minutes and fifty seven seconds. He used to taunt me with that" she told them sadly.
Zack nodded, "I remember that" Zack said smiling. He got back to his feet and walked over to Alec. He leaned against the wall next tom him. He touched the baby's face, much in the way Max had just touched Ben.
Max smiled at the two men and her baby. "you wanna hold her don't cha?" She said. Zack hadn't held the baby yet. Max just figured he didn't like babies and he would only hold her if he had too.
But he took Max and Alec by surprise and nodded. "But you don't like babies" Alec said in a somewhat shocked tone.
"But this is different" Zack said quietly. He looked over at Max, "those were other peoples babies, this is yours" he told her. She nodded towards Alec, signaling him to hand over the baby. Alec carefully took her out of the pack on his chest and delicately handed her to Zack. Zack held the baby out in front of him, looking down at her. His features softened as he looked at her. "She looks just like you Max" he commented.
"That baby has been out of my uterus for two weeks, and your just now noticing how she looks like me?" Max said in a tone.
"Well, I haven't really looked at her" he said. This didn't make Max any happier, she crossed her arms and glared at him. "What?" he asked. "I'm not a baby person okay" he defended himself. He looked back down at the child. "Any ways, as I was saying, she beautiful" he said.
"Of course she is. She's may off spring" Alec said grinning. Max cleared her throat, "And of course she also has a beautiful mother" he said quickly.
Max went back to paying attention to Ben. It worried both Alec and Zack that she seemed to be more concerned about Ben then her child. But they both realized that Ben was a very big deal to Max. And it's not as though she neglected their baby, it was just that when they were visiting Ben, she didn't seem to think about the baby as much. "He looks so peaceful" she commented to them, "Before, when he was different he didn't have any of the peace he had had before. But now, he just looks so much like the Ben I remember. Like any minutes, he's going to sit up and be all like, 'what's wrong this time Max' or 'can't sleep huh Maxie?'" She squeezed his hand in-between her two own. She noticed to herself how the skin on his hand was soft as it had always been when they were children. Soft and Gentle. She moved her attention back to his soft face. She put a hand on his cheek. It was so strange, to Max, Alec and Ben no longer held resemblance to each other. Now, Alec was her husband, father of her child, beautiful man who she loved. She looked at Ben and saw her big brother, to her his features remained that of a child's, untouched by time.
She almost laughed at herself remembering how not too long ago she had mistaken Alec for Ben an embarrassing amount of times. That time seemed so long ago. Like a different life. A different reality. Yet it still remained a part of her. She felt her mind telling her that Ben was just in a peaceful sleep. She had actually seen him open his eyes and smile at her a few times now, but both times, she had closed her eyes, shook her head, and opened her eyes again too only realize that it was in her mind. She refused to let her self slip into the comfort that her mind offered her though. She had too much to loose now.
She stroked the way too pale skin on his face with her thumb. Ben, she thought to herself, Ben I'm sorry. Wake up now. Please. As if in answer to her prayer, Max thought she saw his eyes move under his eyelids. She looked closely. It could just be her again. She squeezed his hand lightly, thinking she could warm up his cold skin. "Ben" she said hopefuly. This drew Zacks attention. He gave Alec the baby back, and walked over to Max, putting a hand on her shoulder, his eyes, however, were focused on Ben. She really hoped that the movement she had seen was just in her head. Zack was over here now, and Max would swear that his hand was shaking. Just ever so slightly. hardly noticeable, but it was.
There, she saw it again. Zacks grip tightened on her shoulder, telling Max tat he saw it also. She felt the smallest twitch of one of Ben's fingers. She moved her hand away from his face, and rested it on his chest. She felt the strond steady beat of his heart. She wanted to hug him, rest her head on his chest, hear his heart beat. Se wanted to loudly say his name until he woke up. But she didn't. She sat patiently waiting in her chair. Waiting for her lost brother to wake up.
He moved his heads position that he rested on his ear a little more. Max almost jumped up and started crying with joy over this movement. She looked up at Zack, his jaw was tightly clenched, and she saw a watery glaze coating his eyes. She brought her attention back to Ben. She felt his hand move again. And then it happened. His eyelids opened just the tiniest bit, before closing, blocking out the cruel light of the room. A moment later they opened again though, revealing the bright blue windows of his soul. She could tell as his eyes came into focus on her. Max's eyes grew wide, starring into his. If this wasn't real she didn't care anymore. His eyes were so blue, so sparkling with life. So bright. His lips curled up into a small smile, He opened his mouth to use his scratchy voice to say, "Max".
A/A/N-Many of you have already heard about dark angel being canceled. It's awful and I can't stand the thought of it. How else are we supposed to see Jensen Ackles? here are some web sites you can go to.
http://adinfinit.net/danation/
http://www.savemyshow.com/shows/darkangel.htm
http://savedarkangel.cjb.net/
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A/N-Okay, the answers to some questions that were asked. First of all, when Alec was thinking that Max kept him around as a sort of a replacement Ben, it wasn't meant to suggest that Max was in love with Ben. It was supposed to show Alec's insecurities in the Ben area. you know, the whole, 'what if she still looks at me and sees Ben' type of thing. And second of all, Andrea and George don't know the real identities of Max, Zack, and Alec, I'm just kind of stupid, and made some mistakes in the last chapter. I can't think of anymore questions at the moment, but I might answer some more at the end of this chapter. So here it is, Ben probably wont wake up yet, but he will be in it. I hope you all enjoy reading it. And please review a lot so I know I made the right decision with the whole Ben thing. Oh, and sorry for the wait, but I'm also writing my other fic, which is giving me a much harder time then it was supposed to. I'm currently not on speaking terms with it, for it has angered me.
Review review review!!!!!!!!
Max looked down at Ben. She was alone with him now, Zack and Alec were getting her things ready to leave the hospital, and they had let her have a moment alone with her thought to be dead brother. She didn't know what this meant. Was she sane then? Was Ben actually there with her when she had been talking to him? Was she not crazy at all? She shook her head. no. Even she, who wanted desperately to be normal couldn't try to believe that the Ben she had been talking to was actually Ben's misplaced spirit. It was inconceivable. Not to mention all the other things. She had more then once been absolutely sure that Alec was Ben. She had even had sex with Alec without even being aware of it. those are not the actions of a sane person.
But that didn't matter now. None of it did. Ben was here. She could reach out and touch him. And he was alive. Conscious? No. But alive? Yes. She reached out and cupped his cheek in her hand. His skin, though an unhealthy shade of pale, was still soft. she ran his fingers through his hair, which without proper attention had gone flat, and grown out to a longer length, like Alec's. She gently ran her fingers over the soft skin of his eyelids. She wondered what was happening in his mind right now. She wondered if he was dreaming, or if he was in a land of dark emptiness.
She shuddered at the though of her brother being consumed by emptiness. He looked beautiful, as Max knew he always would, but he looked unhealthy. Malnourished. He looked thin and pale, lacking the color that had once danced across his face. She dreamed of him waking up, and making big meals for him to nurse him back to health. Of siting with him in the sunlight with him, watching as color slowly returned to his skin.
What if he never wakes up? the unwanted thought echoed in her brain and haunted her thoughts. She couldn't bear the thought. When she had thought she had killed him, a part of her had died with him. She had slowly gone crazy. She knew that if he was given to her, only to be taken again, that there would be nothing slow about loosing her mind. She knew that the sanity she had been clinging to lately would simply snap, and she would recover again. Not even with Alec, Zack, and Her newly born daughter holding her to the ground. If she lost Ben again, she would simply loose it, and a part of her mind, a part that she tried to block out, knew that she wouldn't want to come out of it again.
Tears began to form in her eyes as she thought of it. She took Ben's hand and held it between her own. "I'm sorry" she said softly, still trying to hold back her sobs. "I'm sorry for killing you. I'm sorry for running away. For not being strong enough to save you. I'm sorry for allowing them to do what ever has been done to make you like this" she held his hand up to her face, and pressed it against her cheek. "I'm sorry I failed you when you needed me. But please Ben, please don't leave me again" she was unable to hold back the tears any longer, and her body was soon shuddering with sobs. "I'll fight for you this time" she promised him. She moved her face near him and kissed his cheek softly.
She heard a soft knock at the door, and quickly dropped his hand and began to dry her tears.
Zack walked in a moment later. Alec was behind him with the baby. Max walked up to Zack and threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in his chest. He rubbed her back gently in what had become a comfortable movement. He thought back to the first time she had hugged him. He had been posing as Sam. She had hated him, not that she had given him a fair chance, but she had been rude to him that whole day. Thinking back on the day though, he recalled being pretty annoying. But when she found out it was him, everything had changed. He could remember the look on her face when she was asking why he hadn't told her. but she didn't care anymore. she hadn't cared because of who he was. She had thrown her arms around him in a hug. A hug. He hadn't seen her for a decade, but she hugged him any ways.
He had Ben shocked, and didn't know how to react. so he did the only thing one could do when a beautiful woman threw her arms around them. He hugged her back. It was as awkward as could be expected. Zack wasn't exactly used to hugging people. But they way she had hugged him, with such unconditional love, had sparked something up inside of him. She had felt so small and warm against him. He had immediately wanted to be able to protect her, shield her against all evil in the world. More so then the other X5s. It was at that moment that he had fallen in love with her.
But that wasn't what she needed, not from him. She needed him as her big brother, and that's how he would be. "Shh, come on Max, you can come back latter, the hospitals been instructed to contact us if there's any change. Let's go home" he said.
She looked up at him, and nodded her head. She kept an arm around his waist, and he kept an arm around her shoulder, leading her out of the gray hospital room. Alec walked behind them, holding Morgaine. He felt slightly out of place. Max and Zack and Ben had something that he would never be able to touch. He looked down at the baby he cradled in his arms. Dark brown eyes looked up at him. He still found himself amazed every time he looked at this small child. She looked like Max, a lot like Max, well, as much as a baby could. But she also resembled Alec. And he couldn't seem to stop looking at her. He was in aww. Amazed.
He heard continuing to sniff, as her tears continued to fall. He almost wished that Ben hadn't been alive. He felt horrible for feeling like that, but if Ben was alive, why would she need Alec? Zack would leave evntualy, Alec knew this. And so did Max. Alec ofton felt like she just kept him around so she wouldn't be alone. But if Ben woke up, then Ben might stay. And Max wouldn't be alone. But no. Alec wouldn't leave, and he wouldn't let Max leave. They had a baby. Ben's presence wouldn't change that. He felt like an idiot for being so insecure. Max loved him, she had said so.
He sped up his steps a little so that he was walking next to Max now. "You feeling okay" he asked her tenderly.
She looked up at him. Her face was slightly stained with tears, but she wasn't crying at the moment. Her lips formed a soft smile, "yeah" she said quietly. "Let me hold our baby Alec" she said. Her voice sounded like that of a child, asking to hold her new baby sister. Not the voice of a woman, telling her husband to hand over the baby. He nodded anyway, glad that she seemed to of remembered her child. Her carefully gave her the baby.
She looked down at the small bundle with an expression that was nearly identical to the one that Alec had had a moment before. Something flashed across her face as she appeared to remember something important. As she moved the baby in her arms so that she could see the back of her neck, Alec realized what she had thought of. He was ready to scold himself for not thinking of it sooner. Truth be told, he had almost forgot about his own barcode, and the thought of the baby having one hadn't even occurred to him. Why would she have one. this baby, unlike Max and Alec, was not created in a test tube. She let out a sigh of relief as she saw the smooth flawless skin on the back of her neck. She looked up at Alec and smiled. Their baby may end up being stronger, smarter, faster and may have other amazing abilities, but she would have nothing on her neck telling people why.
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Alec opened his eyes to the morning light. He felt warm and happy. He rolled over to find Max missing, he let out a small sigh of disappointment. Morgaine however slept peacefully like the infant she was at his side. He put his hand on her stomach, and stroked her face. He couldn't seem to accept the fact he was a father, it all seemed so strange. It had been exactly two weeks since she was born, yet he still couldn't get over it. "Oh Morgana, do you have any idea where your mother is? I fear that she has abandoned us" he said quietly. But a moment latter he heard the musical sound of Max's laughter from the other room, and remembered that now that she was no longer pregnant, she was back to not sleeping much.
"Well," he said to the sleeping baby, "We still need sleep don't we" he closed his eyes, and attempted to go back to sleep.
His attempt at more sleep only lasted about five minutes, at which point Max came in the room, "Alec, I know your awake, now get up and spend time with us" she said. He continued to pretend to sleep. He was a very strong believer in sleeping in on Saturdays. "Alec, get up" she said again. Once again he didn't move. She sat on the bed next to him, and turned him onto his back. She rubbed his chest with her hands, and leaned her face down, so that lips were almost touching his ear. Her breath was warm on his skin, "Alec, Zack said he'd take Morgaine on a walk with him, I thought we could spend some time together" she said seductively.
Alec opened his eyes quickly and moved his hand to her waist. She kissed him sweetly on the mouth, then lifted her head up to look at him. "Good morning sunshine" she said smiling, "Now that your awake, come have breakfast" she said. She stood up, and walked to the other side of the be, and picked up the baby.
"Zack isn't going on a walk, is he" Alec asked catching on.
"Nope" she said shaking her head. She gently put the baby in the bassinet in the corner of their room.
Alec jumped out of bed, wearing only his boxers, and ran over to the door, shutting it before she could go back into the living room. He placed his hands on her waist and pulled her to him, he kissed her right below her ear, then said, "We could be very quiet" in a mischievous tone.
Max put a hand on the back of his neck, and began to kiss him from his collar bone to his ear, "I guess maybe" she said quietly. Alec smiled and kissed her mouth devouring her mouth with his own. He playfully lifted her off the ground, and she slipped her legs around his waist. She laughed softly into his mouth, then pulled back and looked down into his eyes. She moved her hands up to hold his face. She stroked his cheeks with her thumbs, "Your beautiful, you know that?" she said quietly to him.
He smiled his cocky grin, "Yup, I'm quite the catch" he said. "Your not to bad looking yourself" He added.
"And they say romance is dead" she said smiling and shaking her head at him. She went back to kissing him, and Alec moved them towards the bed, until they fell onto it, with Alec on top, slowly trailing kisses down Max's neck. Max ran her hands through Alecs feathery hair. Alec ran a hand over the silky skin of her back, under her shirt. She pulled his head back up to her face, and kissed the corner of his mouth. She ran a finger over his full pink lips, that were now swollen slightly from their kissing. "I lo-" her words were cut off by the sudden cries of the baby. They both let out a disappointed groan. Alec was reluctant to move off of her. "Come on Alec, give it up, it just wasn't meant to be this morning" she said pushing him off of her to go tend to the baby.
"So, what's the plan for today" Alec said crossing his legs in front of him, and resting his head on his hands.
Max came back to the bed with the baby, and began to feed her, "Well, I thought we would have breakfast, and I wanted to go to the hospital to visit Ben today, but that will only be for a little while" she said. Alec nodded, it had been a few days since she had visited Ben. "And I thought maybe we could go on a walk, to the park or something. I don't know, I'm not really to knowledgeable on what families are supposed to do, what do you think?" she said.
"Park sounds good. Ice cream sounds better" Alec said with a grin, he raised an eyebrow, "and ya know what sounds even better then ice cream?" he asked.
"There is a freezer full of ice cream, we don't need to go out for that. Hopefully this sun will remain today so we can go to the park after I visit Ben. And the other thing, well, we'll see about that" she said. "Now, you go make breakfast" she smiled.
"Can I make anything I want?" he asked with a suspicious smile.
"As long as it's not ice cream" she responded.
"Damn" he said. He pulled himself out of bed, and put on some pants. "I'm off to do the slave work" He walked out of the bedroom, into the living room. Zack was sitting on the couch, wearing only jeans, like Alec, reading the paper, and drinking coffee. "Good morning Zack" Alec said pleasantly.
"Morning" Zack grunted slightly less pleasantly. Alec had noticed that since Ben showed up, Zack had restarted the whole dark and sad thing, and fell deeply back into the whole over protective big brother thing. Alec missed the Zack that had become his buddy. Now he knew that every time Zack looked at him, all he saw was Ben. It was hoe Max used to look at him. Alec was really beginning to hate Ben, not that he had ever met the guy. Max paints him out to be a saint, besides the whole phsyco killer thing.
"Wanna help me make breakfast?" Alec asked trying to get Zack to talk to him, or joke or something.
Zack looked up and stared at him with a duh look, "Look who your talking too, how often do I volunteer to cook?" he said.
"You gonna to visit Ben with Max today?" Alec asked. Zack nodded, he was back to reading his news paper, ignoring Alec. This made Alec angry. He didn't like to be ignored, and he had felt extremely neglected by everyone since Ben reappeared. "So, what do ya think for breakfast, Eggs? Fruit salad? pancakes?" he said trying to get the attention of Zack again.
Zack just shrugged. Max however, who had been listening in on their conversation, if you could call it that, called out "Fruit salad".
Alec groaned a little Since he had been with Max, he always had to eat healthy things. Like fruit, and vegetables. He was willing to bet that they didn't even have chips in the house at the moment. "Okay love" he called back. Maybe if he flaunted the fact that he had Max, and Zack didn't, then the guy would get so angry that he would feel the need to yell at Alec. At least then he'd be acknowledging his presence. But he knew that wouldn't happen. Zack was used to the idea that Max was with Alec, and even if he did get really mad, it was more likely that he would just go on a walk or something. Alec sulked and walked into the kitchen to make a fruit salad.
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"Zack?" Max said breaking the cold silence of the room. She sat in a chair by the hospital bed, her hand covering Ben's. Zack stood next to her, with a hand resting on her shoulder. Alec stood in a corner of the room, leaning against the wall. He had Morgaine in a baby carrier strapped to his chest. It looked out of place on him. He still had that happy go lucky bachelor look to him. But he had a finely sculpted hand resting on the baby's bed, looking down on her with love.
"Yes Max?" Zack responded softly. He gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze.
Max took a deep breath, trying to find the strength to put it to words what had been plaguing her since they first stumbled upon Ben. "Zack, what if he doesn't wake up?" she choked out the words.
"He'll wake up" Zack said flatly. "He has to" Some emotion escaped into his word this time. "He's strong. An X5, like us. He'll wake up. They made us good" He told her. Max reached her free hand up and put it over Zacks. She returned her gaze to Ben. The nine year old told her that if she put her fingers over his nose and cut off his breathing, then he would wake up. She was tempted to, and she probably would if it wasn't for the fact that that same part of her was saying that she could then climb into bed with him and listen to stories about the good place.
Another thought occurred to her. "Zack, what if he wakes up, and starts killing people again?" Max asked now distressed with this thought. She had immediately assumed that Ben would wake up and be, well, Ben. But as she thought about it further, she realized that it was more likely that he was still crazy. But she analyzed it further and remembered their last fight. His heart hadn't been in it. And the way he had broken down before that. And right before he 'died'. He had looked up at her with those Ben eyes and-
Her thoughts were cut off by Zack, "Then we'll get him help. Or we'll help him" Zack told her. "It doesn't matter how he comes back. It's still Ben, and if it's Ben, then he'll be able to get better" he walked in front of her and kneeled on the ground in front of her, "Max, no matter what, you have to remember, it's Ben" he said this slowly and deliberately.
He reached out a hand and brushed a stray curl that had escaped her braid out of her face. "She closed her eyes and sighed, "I know" she said in a tired voice. "I know, it's just, I want so badly for things to be right. I want to be nine again, and I want to have you and Ben the way we were then. I mean, sometimes I think Ben was right. Everything did make sense there. I had you guys, and Tinga was alive, and so was Eva, and... and Brin wasn't brain washed and I had everyone" she felt tears coming again, but she was able to hold them back this time.
"Max you know as well as I do, that past us, nothing made sense there. For gods sake, we were just kids, and they held us under water for like five minutes" he said.
"Oh oh," Alec interrupted them, "Five minutes and thirteen seconds" he said smiling, obviously proud of himself.
Max glared at him. "I had four minutes and fifty five seconds" she said. He raised a cocky eyebrow. She looked down at Ben, and ran a hand over his cheek. "Ben had four minutes and fifty seven seconds. He used to taunt me with that" she told them sadly.
Zack nodded, "I remember that" Zack said smiling. He got back to his feet and walked over to Alec. He leaned against the wall next tom him. He touched the baby's face, much in the way Max had just touched Ben.
Max smiled at the two men and her baby. "you wanna hold her don't cha?" She said. Zack hadn't held the baby yet. Max just figured he didn't like babies and he would only hold her if he had too.
But he took Max and Alec by surprise and nodded. "But you don't like babies" Alec said in a somewhat shocked tone.
"But this is different" Zack said quietly. He looked over at Max, "those were other peoples babies, this is yours" he told her. She nodded towards Alec, signaling him to hand over the baby. Alec carefully took her out of the pack on his chest and delicately handed her to Zack. Zack held the baby out in front of him, looking down at her. His features softened as he looked at her. "She looks just like you Max" he commented.
"That baby has been out of my uterus for two weeks, and your just now noticing how she looks like me?" Max said in a tone.
"Well, I haven't really looked at her" he said. This didn't make Max any happier, she crossed her arms and glared at him. "What?" he asked. "I'm not a baby person okay" he defended himself. He looked back down at the child. "Any ways, as I was saying, she beautiful" he said.
"Of course she is. She's may off spring" Alec said grinning. Max cleared her throat, "And of course she also has a beautiful mother" he said quickly.
Max went back to paying attention to Ben. It worried both Alec and Zack that she seemed to be more concerned about Ben then her child. But they both realized that Ben was a very big deal to Max. And it's not as though she neglected their baby, it was just that when they were visiting Ben, she didn't seem to think about the baby as much. "He looks so peaceful" she commented to them, "Before, when he was different he didn't have any of the peace he had had before. But now, he just looks so much like the Ben I remember. Like any minutes, he's going to sit up and be all like, 'what's wrong this time Max' or 'can't sleep huh Maxie?'" She squeezed his hand in-between her two own. She noticed to herself how the skin on his hand was soft as it had always been when they were children. Soft and Gentle. She moved her attention back to his soft face. She put a hand on his cheek. It was so strange, to Max, Alec and Ben no longer held resemblance to each other. Now, Alec was her husband, father of her child, beautiful man who she loved. She looked at Ben and saw her big brother, to her his features remained that of a child's, untouched by time.
She almost laughed at herself remembering how not too long ago she had mistaken Alec for Ben an embarrassing amount of times. That time seemed so long ago. Like a different life. A different reality. Yet it still remained a part of her. She felt her mind telling her that Ben was just in a peaceful sleep. She had actually seen him open his eyes and smile at her a few times now, but both times, she had closed her eyes, shook her head, and opened her eyes again too only realize that it was in her mind. She refused to let her self slip into the comfort that her mind offered her though. She had too much to loose now.
She stroked the way too pale skin on his face with her thumb. Ben, she thought to herself, Ben I'm sorry. Wake up now. Please. As if in answer to her prayer, Max thought she saw his eyes move under his eyelids. She looked closely. It could just be her again. She squeezed his hand lightly, thinking she could warm up his cold skin. "Ben" she said hopefuly. This drew Zacks attention. He gave Alec the baby back, and walked over to Max, putting a hand on her shoulder, his eyes, however, were focused on Ben. She really hoped that the movement she had seen was just in her head. Zack was over here now, and Max would swear that his hand was shaking. Just ever so slightly. hardly noticeable, but it was.
There, she saw it again. Zacks grip tightened on her shoulder, telling Max tat he saw it also. She felt the smallest twitch of one of Ben's fingers. She moved her hand away from his face, and rested it on his chest. She felt the strond steady beat of his heart. She wanted to hug him, rest her head on his chest, hear his heart beat. Se wanted to loudly say his name until he woke up. But she didn't. She sat patiently waiting in her chair. Waiting for her lost brother to wake up.
He moved his heads position that he rested on his ear a little more. Max almost jumped up and started crying with joy over this movement. She looked up at Zack, his jaw was tightly clenched, and she saw a watery glaze coating his eyes. She brought her attention back to Ben. She felt his hand move again. And then it happened. His eyelids opened just the tiniest bit, before closing, blocking out the cruel light of the room. A moment later they opened again though, revealing the bright blue windows of his soul. She could tell as his eyes came into focus on her. Max's eyes grew wide, starring into his. If this wasn't real she didn't care anymore. His eyes were so blue, so sparkling with life. So bright. His lips curled up into a small smile, He opened his mouth to use his scratchy voice to say, "Max".
A/A/N-Many of you have already heard about dark angel being canceled. It's awful and I can't stand the thought of it. How else are we supposed to see Jensen Ackles? here are some web sites you can go to.
http://adinfinit.net/danation/
http://www.savemyshow.com/shows/darkangel.htm
http://savedarkangel.cjb.net/
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