~~Hey. This is my first ever upload to FF.net so GIMME A BREAK. =\ Yeah. Naruto doesn't belong to me, but I DO have Lee tied up in a closet somewheres... Please to be enjoying the Sessions of Lee...~~
The times when I get hopeless are fleeting. It's not like they're often, either. Or severe, for that matter. But there still are times. When my arm and leg tingle up. When I can't seem to grasp the concept of blinking. When... well... when all outside forces seem to just stop. Or proceed very, very slowly. These times, all I can think of is WHAT IF. What if they were right? What if my dreams were as crushed and dislocated as my two left limbs? What if my beloved elder and comrade hadn't reacted quickly enough and everything was lost? But... then there's her, and everything is fine.
THE LEE SESSIONS
I don't know when it all started. Or where. Or even when I realized it. All I knew was the one fact: I was a man. Now, historically speaking, there are many ways boys are decided to be men, be it losing one's virginity, getting married, passing some test or rite of passage. For me, it was slightly less dramatic. Definitely not one for the history books. I woke up one morning, yawned, and... 'poof'? No, it was probably something more like a 'wark' or a 'quack'... but it was unmistakable. I was, that day, a man.
That day, I remember feeling like everyone was looking at me differently. It was a great feeling. As a boy, people couldn't exactly look up to me- I was puny. But as a man, I was taller. Figuratively and literally. It was like some profoundly transcendent philosophy that I had just thought up. Except it enlightened my whole body, not just my mind. The awkwardness of teenage years had passed. HELL was over. I was a man that day.
It wasn't like I was that special. I knew most of my friends had already made their passage into the great unknown that was adulthood. They all had the same glow I did. I remember specifically when that puny, loud, annoying carrier of the Kyuubi, Naruto, emerged as a semi-functional member of society. It wasn't too long ago, but long enough to be recallable. It was that very day, I think, that the very last of the people in the village forgot that he was a demon. That, or perhaps just realized that he never really WAS a demon.
About Naruto- I always knew he had issues greater than mine. However, I'd never really witnessed him fall into despair over things concerning himself. He was never stoic; never had that much self-control either. In fact, he was a dangerous loose cannon. I never understood how he could have opposites within himself, but I've always admired it. Over time, his personality never changed. It just grew. Evolved, perhaps. All I know is as he got bigger so did his presence and his power to be acknowledged and to influence. He taught everyone so much- especially those close to him. I knew that as a teammate, he meant a lot to her. He had changed her. I'm eternally grateful for his influence.
After the battle I had sustained my injuries in, I wasn't one for talking. And understandably so. They told me I'd never be able to function as a shinobi again. So, against everyone else's wills, I continued to train. I refused to accept that my dreams were impossible. I could never be steel in my aspirations like Naruto; there was some slight doubt. When the pain got so bad I could pass out, I had thoughts of giving up. And I did, several times. But the big picture was always clear in my mind. I had to find hope and inspiration in small things, like the first flower I received from Sakura while in the hospital. That's always served as a reminder that no matter where I am, what I'm doing, SOMEONE is out there caring for me. Even if she didn't know it at the time- Oh, she knows now.
My sensei, Gai, who's been my comrade since we were first introduced; he always revives me. When there is absolutely nothing left in this world to go back to- there is Gai. His smile could raise a thousand me's from the brink of death. It's like a power that's ever effervescent between us. We're like... soul mates. And not in a romantic way, mind you. I have other plans for that area... Gai's always been much more like an older brother to me. Or, at the risk of making him sound old, a father. He always did have a string of advice to spew at me about things. Girls for example. Who doesn't dread the 'When a boy becomes a man' talk from their elders? Ugh. He even had to mention HER name! Like I was already dating her or something! All embarrassment aside- he was always right about Sakura. And I always appreciated what he had to say. No matter how red in the face it made me...
Alright, Lee. We know she cares. She always has. And it's not like you haven't talked to her in five years or something. You talked to her yesterday, remember? It's just like that! Except this time... umm, you kinda have to get closer and give her this. Then get down on one knee and profess your undying love forever and ever and- Alright, Just give her the flower...
It's one of THOSE times. Pins and Needles where my fateful injuries had been beset unto me. Why? I'm walking now. I'm a man now. I have to go see Sakura and give her something I'd pledged to. I'd said that the day I become a man, I would return to her the flower that had given me so much power when I truly needed it. Will she accept it? What will she say? Is there a chance that after all these years she's finally come to realize that I love her... damnit!? Is there a chance that she loves me? I'm going now to find out. To put all this childish shyness behind me. Hehh... I hope Gai sensei is somewhere smiling...
~~So, good enough? *sob* I worked kinda hard... keke. Love me please!!~~
The times when I get hopeless are fleeting. It's not like they're often, either. Or severe, for that matter. But there still are times. When my arm and leg tingle up. When I can't seem to grasp the concept of blinking. When... well... when all outside forces seem to just stop. Or proceed very, very slowly. These times, all I can think of is WHAT IF. What if they were right? What if my dreams were as crushed and dislocated as my two left limbs? What if my beloved elder and comrade hadn't reacted quickly enough and everything was lost? But... then there's her, and everything is fine.
THE LEE SESSIONS
I don't know when it all started. Or where. Or even when I realized it. All I knew was the one fact: I was a man. Now, historically speaking, there are many ways boys are decided to be men, be it losing one's virginity, getting married, passing some test or rite of passage. For me, it was slightly less dramatic. Definitely not one for the history books. I woke up one morning, yawned, and... 'poof'? No, it was probably something more like a 'wark' or a 'quack'... but it was unmistakable. I was, that day, a man.
That day, I remember feeling like everyone was looking at me differently. It was a great feeling. As a boy, people couldn't exactly look up to me- I was puny. But as a man, I was taller. Figuratively and literally. It was like some profoundly transcendent philosophy that I had just thought up. Except it enlightened my whole body, not just my mind. The awkwardness of teenage years had passed. HELL was over. I was a man that day.
It wasn't like I was that special. I knew most of my friends had already made their passage into the great unknown that was adulthood. They all had the same glow I did. I remember specifically when that puny, loud, annoying carrier of the Kyuubi, Naruto, emerged as a semi-functional member of society. It wasn't too long ago, but long enough to be recallable. It was that very day, I think, that the very last of the people in the village forgot that he was a demon. That, or perhaps just realized that he never really WAS a demon.
About Naruto- I always knew he had issues greater than mine. However, I'd never really witnessed him fall into despair over things concerning himself. He was never stoic; never had that much self-control either. In fact, he was a dangerous loose cannon. I never understood how he could have opposites within himself, but I've always admired it. Over time, his personality never changed. It just grew. Evolved, perhaps. All I know is as he got bigger so did his presence and his power to be acknowledged and to influence. He taught everyone so much- especially those close to him. I knew that as a teammate, he meant a lot to her. He had changed her. I'm eternally grateful for his influence.
After the battle I had sustained my injuries in, I wasn't one for talking. And understandably so. They told me I'd never be able to function as a shinobi again. So, against everyone else's wills, I continued to train. I refused to accept that my dreams were impossible. I could never be steel in my aspirations like Naruto; there was some slight doubt. When the pain got so bad I could pass out, I had thoughts of giving up. And I did, several times. But the big picture was always clear in my mind. I had to find hope and inspiration in small things, like the first flower I received from Sakura while in the hospital. That's always served as a reminder that no matter where I am, what I'm doing, SOMEONE is out there caring for me. Even if she didn't know it at the time- Oh, she knows now.
My sensei, Gai, who's been my comrade since we were first introduced; he always revives me. When there is absolutely nothing left in this world to go back to- there is Gai. His smile could raise a thousand me's from the brink of death. It's like a power that's ever effervescent between us. We're like... soul mates. And not in a romantic way, mind you. I have other plans for that area... Gai's always been much more like an older brother to me. Or, at the risk of making him sound old, a father. He always did have a string of advice to spew at me about things. Girls for example. Who doesn't dread the 'When a boy becomes a man' talk from their elders? Ugh. He even had to mention HER name! Like I was already dating her or something! All embarrassment aside- he was always right about Sakura. And I always appreciated what he had to say. No matter how red in the face it made me...
Alright, Lee. We know she cares. She always has. And it's not like you haven't talked to her in five years or something. You talked to her yesterday, remember? It's just like that! Except this time... umm, you kinda have to get closer and give her this. Then get down on one knee and profess your undying love forever and ever and- Alright, Just give her the flower...
It's one of THOSE times. Pins and Needles where my fateful injuries had been beset unto me. Why? I'm walking now. I'm a man now. I have to go see Sakura and give her something I'd pledged to. I'd said that the day I become a man, I would return to her the flower that had given me so much power when I truly needed it. Will she accept it? What will she say? Is there a chance that after all these years she's finally come to realize that I love her... damnit!? Is there a chance that she loves me? I'm going now to find out. To put all this childish shyness behind me. Hehh... I hope Gai sensei is somewhere smiling...
~~So, good enough? *sob* I worked kinda hard... keke. Love me please!!~~