A/N: This will be a sad chapter in a funny way.... I did that on purpose, since the next chapter... well... lets just say if you thought the previous chapters were sad, you'll be bawling your eyes out on the next one!!! ^_^ Okay, maybe not bawling, but...
THE CHARACTER'S PICTURES ARE UP ON MY WEBSITE!!! YOU CAN NOW SEE PERRIN, JACEY, AND KAE!!!!!!
http://www.angelfire.com/realm2/fanfiction_aya/NtR.html
Also, read through the song... as always, its what Bernard feels. Think about it.... cause it really makes sense!! ESPECIALLY AFTER YOU READ THE END!!! You all are gonna kill me for the ending to this one...
And now, I have to say thanx to all my reviewers!!!
Autumn Took: Thank you so much for your reviews!! They're always wonderful... THANK YOU!!!!!!! *thanks her 3000 times* I'm gonna go read your fics as soon as I finish this...
Spike's Girl: Sorry the song is stuck in your head ^_~ Oh crud, now its in mine again... That you very much for the review... I'm glad it turned out sad becuz I thought I rushed that part... muchos gracias!!!! I will review your story as well cuz I love Ron and Death Eater fics... and Ron ^_^
Vickietori: I LOVE THE REVIEWS!!!!!!!! A couple people will be tempted to hit you, though, if they think you stole my frying pan... I'd promise to read your fics too but I think I've already read every single one... EXCEPT FATE'S TALE!!!! I WILL GO READ FATE!!!! *runs off to read Fate*
SpellGrrL: Thank you for the one review... Glad to know someone's interested!!!
Horse-girl: Love ya hun!! I'm glad this is one of ur faves... and I would read your fic, but I have no idea what it is ^_^ THANK YOU!!!!!!!
Silent Thunder086: You're always one of the first reviewers for these chapters... muchos muchos muchos gracias!!!! I love your story and thank you for not killing off Bernard... why do I get the feeling you will probably kill me off instead for later chapters... THANKS!!!!
Simoriah: Girl of Summer: Yes, the plastic' part of the movie is one of my fave parts as well ^_^ I hope you get your SC fic up because judging by how good your poem was, the fic would be great... ^_^
Tabbi: I'm sorry I had to do this to Bernard, but I wanted a Bernard angsty fic ^_^ Don't worry, I'm inlove with him too!! I made a section for him on my webpage and put up drawings of him... VickieTori and I fight over him all the time... don't worry, you aren't alone!!!!!!!
MidnightLoner: Thanks... updated already!
Shmeilia Rockie: Glad the prolouge got your attention ^_^ Yes, I know, I'm evil and the fic gets even crueler ^_^ Hope you like it!!
Kriss: Glad you like it so far... as there is more now!!!!!
THANK YOU AGAIN TO ALL OF YOU!!!!!
Alone I Break
chapter 3
Korn - Alone I Break
Pick me up,
Been bleeding too long,
Right here, right now,
I'll stop it some how.
I will make it go away,
Can't be here no more,
Seems this is the only way,
I will soon be gone.
These feelings will be gone,
These feelings will be gone.
Now I see the times they change,
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,
I am hoping I can find,
Where to leave my hurt behind.
All this shit I seem to take,
All alone I seem to break,
I have lived the best I can,
Does this make me not a man?
Shut me off,
I am ready,
Heart stops, I stand alone,
Can't be on my own.
I will make it go away,
Can't be here no more,
Seems this is the only way,
I will soon be gone.
These feelings will be gone,
These feelings will be gone.
Now I see the times they change,
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,
I am hoping I can find,
Where to leave my hurt behind.
All this shit I seem to take,
All alone I seem to break,
I have lived the best I can,
Does this make me not a man?
Am I going to leave this place?
What is it I'm hanging from?
Is there nothing more to come?
Am I Gunna leave this place?
Is it always black in space?
Am I going to take it's place?
Am I going to leave this race?
Am I going to leave this race?
I guess God's up in this place?
What is it that I've become?
Is there something more to come?
More to come?
Now I see the times they change,
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,
I am hoping I can find,
Where to leave my hurt behind.
All this shit I seem to take,
All alone I seem to break,
I have lived the best I can,
Does this make me not a man?
Now I see the times they change,
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,
I am hoping I can find,
Where to leave my hurt behind.
All this shit I seem to take,
All alone I seem to break,
I have lived the best I can,
Does this make me not a man?
~*~
Jacey embraced the Head Elf, crushing him in a giant bear hug. She soon stepped back to meet Bernard's shocked face before he shook his head in disbelief. Perrin just laughed.
She's been this way since the night Perrin explained to which Bernard had to force a laugh before resuming biting his lip nervously. He had invited the Grey Elves up for an afternoon in the North Pole. Kae usually loved it there... Perrin and Jacey exchanged knowing glances. They knew the risk Bernard had taken.
They both remembered that night, which was now called the night to marks its significance. They remembered seeing Kae crying on her knees, Bernard's face inches from hers. They clearly remembered when Bernard had told her he loved her before kissing her... the image of Kae would be impossible to burn from their minds. She had gasped and jumped backwards a bit, but Bernard didn't seem to notice, for he had kissed her. They remembered the shocked look on Kae's face as she stared ahead with wide eyes. Slowly, her eyes had begun to close and she finally kissed him back.
But more than ever, they would never forget that when the two finally moved apart, Kae had burst out sobbing and burried her face in Bernard's shoulder. And when he had put a comforting hand on her back, she had suddenly pushed herself away from him, spinning around as she got to her feet and dissapearing in a shower of silver sparkles mid-spin.
I'm here! a voice sang, making them all spin around to see Kae.
YOU'RE LATE! Jacey thundered.
Oh come on... I'm only... she glanced at her watch, three minutes late! Besides, we still have to wait for the boys- She suddenly caught sight of Bernard and Perrin before her eyes narrowed. They both sneered at her before laughing. Oh fuck you too!
they all spun around to see a tiny elf sprinting across the grounds. Before they could even blink, she had thrown herself around Bernard's middle, knocking him to the ground.
Sheesh! Miss me that much Abbey?! Bernard laughed as the she-elf jumped to her feet, smiling at him.
Well I... actually, all of us, especially Curtis and Judy... have been worried about you, she admitted.
Bernard asked, straightening his beret as he stood up.
Well, you weren't at Fireworks and some of the elves saw you and Perrin both cry out and dissapear... and when we taking your bed apart to clean the sheets, we found blood on them... Bernard looked at Kae with questioning eyes. She nodded slightly and flicked her eyes to her shoulder.
I just... bit my lip... really hard... nightmare, he laughed nervously and Abbey sighed.
suddenly, she began eying him quizically.
You... look so... different! she was still peering at him. Without your normal clothes on... Bernard looked down before laughing. He realized how different he must look, wearing a dark blue, shortsleeve shirt over a white, longsleeve one and jeans while all the elves were used to him in velvet dress shirts and elf pants.
I'm... uh... getting the clothes cleaned... yeah, Bernard nodded, making Abbey eye him again. Most North Pole elves wore the same type of clothes all year, but now the only thing Bernard was wearing that was even similar to his North Pole attire was his beret with the Head Elf pin on it. Not to mention elven attire didn't ever need cleaning...
Um... alright then... see you around, Bernard! he waved at him before sprinting off. Bernard watched her dissapear around a corner with a smile before suddenly rounding on Kae.
Where in God's name did the blood come from?! he cried. Kae sighed and pulled down the right shoulder of her shirt to reveal a long scar that looked like it had been a scab maybe even the day before.
It ain't easy becoming a Dark Elf, you know... especially when you got dropped right on a rock, she grinned at him. Bernard laughed. Kae didn't seem any different despite the night.
Um... guys, they all looked at Jacey. Perrin and I have an errand to run...
We do?
YES!! You know... the errand I told you about! she glared at him.
Oh... yes, of course, the errand... haha, how stupid of me...
See ya around! Jacey grabbed Perrin's arm and yanked him off. Kae and Bernard watched them dissapear before exchanging glances.
I'll never figure them out, Bernard shook his head.
Why do I have a feeling we weren't alone on the balcony last Thursday? he was a bit surprised that Kae brought it up, but she just smiled at him.
Do you wanna go get some cocoa? he asked and Kae smiled.
Under one condintion.
Kae smiled sympathetically.
I feel really awkward. Let's pretend Thursday never happened, kay? Bernard sighed in relief.
Thank you Kae! he grinned back at her.
Besides, Dark Elves can't love anyway, so lets just say we had a bit too much to drink, this time, he could tell her smile was forced, and he forced his own. However, they were soon walking down the street towards the cocoa shop, talking on and on about whatever popped into their head, laughing with shining eyes.
Yet at the same time, Kae was upset. A part of her had truly been hoping that after she had recited the speech that had taken her all night to make up that Bernard would tell her they couldn't forget... or something cheesy like that. Yet cheesy as it was, a part of her wished Bernard would kiss her again and remind her that he had been completely out of alchohol of any sort that night...
Hi Bernard! the young elf behind the counter chirped and he smiled at her.
Two cups of cocoa, please, he ordered and she smiled. By the way, is Judy here?
No sir, she isn't, the elf replied before scuttling into the back.
Okay, we can stay here, Bernard nodded before laughing at Kae's questioning look. Judy was one of his best friends at the pole. He knew how it would be if she saw him with Perrin as him and Jacey were bound to join them soon...
he whirled around in shock to see Judy and Curtis.
Oh great... that plan really worked!'
Hi guys, he forced a smile, making Kae laugh.
Well, how're you?! AND WHY IN SANTA'S NAME DIDN'T YOU MAKE FIREWORKS! Judy cried. Bernard laughed.
Her fault, he pointed at Kae, who growled and kicked him in the shin, making Bernard cry out and hop up and down on one foot holding his leg.
Oh... you a couple? Curtis asked, making Bernard imediately put his foot down to stop himself from falling over in shock, grabbing his beret to keep it from flying off his head.
Kae and Bernard cried in unison, exchanging glances that read the exact same thing: Are they just guessing or do we need to murder Perrin?
Well... how come we've never met her? Curtis asked, grinning mischeviously.
Because we just met! Kae replied, and Bernard mentaly noted that he should congradulate her acting skills later.
Oh... how? Judy persisted.
Bernard nodded.
Bernard, you work here, Curtis replied and he felt Kae kick the back of his leg threateningly.
We're doing some odd jobs around Earth... extra money for... stuff! Bernard nodded, rather proud of his explanation. Kae just rolled her eyes.
Curtis squinched his nose up. What human would hire you? Kae's jaw dropped, thinking this was an insult. Bernard laughed, knowing he meant Bernard's ears and attire.
Well, I dress well enough like one... Bernard motioned to his clothes, which made both Curtis and Judy's eyes become as wide as saucers, having just noticed.
Besides, we weren't hired by a human. We were hired by an elf, Kae replied.
Curtis and Judy exclaimed at the same time.
Uh... Perrin, Kae shouted the first name that came to mind.
Curtis shouted.
Yeah... oh wait, he works up here, doesn't he? Bernard's jaw dropped. Kae had a mouth on her the size of Indiana!
Suddenly, Bernard had to bit his lip to keep from crying out in pain. He could feel the Kuria beneath his shirt burning like it was on fire.
Sorry... I have to go, he smiled.
the three elves demanded at once.
It's that business I told you about earlier... Bernard stared very pointedly at Kae.
What business?
You know... the business? Bernard couldn't believe Kae had forgotten. How in the name of all that was holy could you forget something like the Dark One and his Kurias?
Oh... oh! with the second oh', her face lit up in realization, her eyes flickering with sympathy. Curtis saw an understanding pass between them and suddenly found himself rather jealous... but with a quick nod, Bernard vanished in a puff of silver.
So... you all work up here too? Kae asked, to which both elves nodded mechanically, still staring where Bernard had just been. Suddenly, Curtis realized that Bernard wasn't there to stop him from sounding rather powerful...
Yes, I'm the second-in-command, only one spot lower than Bernard. Of course, that's understandable, as he is older. Santa still choses me for a lot, though... I guess I'm as powerful as Bernard, but Santa keeps him Head Elf because he's older, Curtis smiled and Judy rolled her eyes. Those two fought about their positions like brothers.
Yes, and I am Head Elf of the females, Judy told the strange elf in front of her. Of course, because those two are so high and mighty, she glared at Curtis, who smiled weakly, I'm simply used for delivering IMPORTANT messages and lifesaving cocoa.
they both suddenly remembered Kae.
What's ironic? Curtis asked, making Kae laugh.
I'm trying to decide who bickers more... you and her, or Bernard and Perrin, Kae replied.
Bernard... and Perrin... they're actually around each other when they aren't at the North Pole? Judy asked, rather curious.
Of course! You should see them some of the times... Perrin and Bernard work together all the time! Kae was completely oblivious to the two dropped jaws in front of her.
Do they... work well together? Curtis swallowed hard.
Because both of us like tying you to the top of the trees! Perrin had walked into the cafe and upon hearing their conversation had realized how dangerous this was.
You didn't-
The only reason we couldn't get you up there last time is because you gave Bernard a bloody nose!
I didn't-
Hit him that hard? It wouldn't stop bleeding for hours, even when we got back up here! Perrin sneered at her, and Kae was glaring.
Is that why there was blood all over his sheets? Judy asked and Perrin nodded. Kae growled and folded her arms.
Hey... where's Jacey? Kae looked around for the girl.
Window shopping, Perrin groaned. Where's Bernard?
Kae replied shortly, not looking in his direction.
Oh... oh! Perrin was aparently in on it too. Curtis felt himself clenching his fists. Now he was really jealous... not to mention weirded out!
~*~
Bernard! You get in a fight with a lawn mower or something?! Bernard was rather annoyed by this comment as he looked up at Kae, who just smiled at him.
You try three murders in two days! he replied, hanging his head.
Well I have an idea then! Kae cried, looking up the hallway. They had all been waiting at Bernard's house for about an hour ever since they left the North Pole cafe. Once Jacey and Perrin get out of the bedroom...
WE ARE NOT IN THE BEDROOM! they cried in unison from completely different parts of the house.
... we can go out to dinner, it being Thursday an all, she smiled innocently.
Allright Kae, what made you blow up your house this time, Bernard groaned at her, making Kae slink back a ways. Bernard laughed lightly as Kae began her list.
The toilet pipe burst and I came home to a foot of water on the floor, all the food in my fridge is expired, the TV has decided it hates me and will no longer work, a baseball went through me window, the roof was leaking again...
So where're we gonna go? Bernard quickly changed the subject.
Perrin and I saw a nice resteraunt that just opened up in the North Pole! Jacey had joined the room and Perrin had finally come out of the kitchen. I think its French...
Bernard shrugged before smiling. The elves up there always make me happy...
Thanks, love you too! Kae snapped at him before her eyes went wide, face turning bright red. Bernard stared at her in amazement as she laughed nervously.
Come on, Jacey smiled gently at them and with a nod, they all vanished in a shower of silver.
~*~
Oh, hello Curtis! Judy smiled as she opened her door. What brings you here?
was his simple reply. Judy couldn't keep from laughing at his blunt answer.
You still upset? Judy asked.
I used the fire estinguisher three times in a half an hour and blew up a bowl of grapes in the microwave, Curtis replied without missing a beat.
I'll take that as a yes... wait, what in the name of Christmas did you have grapes in the microwave for?! the she-elf cried.
Do you want to go out to dinner with me tonight? Curtis asked, suddenly looking up with hopeful eyes. For a moment, Judy looked shocked, but then her face broke into a warm smile.
I'll get my coat, she beckoned him inside before dashing upstairs. Be right back!
So you'll be back down in an hour or so? Curtis asked, making Judy turn around on the top step and narrow her eyes at him. Then, she laughed again and dissapeared in a whirl of deep brown hair.
Nice decoration, Curtis told himself as he sat down. Comfortable chair... He was trying extremely hard to focus on anything else, but his earlier thoughts somehow managed to creep back into his head.
You know... the business?
Oh... oh!
It was as if there was hidden secret that both Bernard and Kae understood... something Bernard was hiding from Curtis. Curtis found himself clenching his fists in fury, thinking about how Bernard didn't even tell it to the one who had been his friend for over seven hundred years, yet he had confided so easily in a girl he had aparently met less than a year ago!
I'm trying to decide who bickers more... you and her, or Bernard and Perrin.
Bernard... and Perrin... they're actually around each other when they aren't at the North Pole?
Of course! You should see them some of the times... Perrin and Bernard work together all the time!
Do they... work well together?
Imagine, his life-long friend going behind his back and making friends with Curtis's worst enemy. Was Bernard mad at him for something? Or was he just bored of Curtis? Either way, he never though Bernard would sink so low as to get back at Curtis by befriending Perrin. And even as much as he hated that arrogant prat, not even Perrin diserved being used.
Bernard... you bastard, Curtis mumbled slightly to himself just as he heard the light footfall of Judy coming back down the stairs.
Curtis... swearing?! This must be a lot worse than I imagined... and especially if he's calling Bernard that. Those two seem so close... Judy thought to herself, swallowing hard. Forcing a smile onto her face, she cleared her throat.
You like it? Curtis looked up and had to do everything in his power to keep his jaw from dropping. Judy was in a dark blue, velvet, skin-tight dress that looked a bit chinese, flowing about her ankles and the sleeves rather short. The turtle neck, sleeves, and slit down the left side were all lined in pearly white, giving her an elegant look. A soft, white shawl rested about her elbows and her hair was in a partial ponytail that was twisted into an elegant bun in the back, a tiara with strings of pearls encircling her brow.
Uh huh... Curtis replied, making Judy giggle, her cheeks looking even rosier than before. Remembering himself, Curtis got to his feet and strode across the room before taking her arm in his.
Shall we?
Of course. Where are we going? Judy asked, secretely wondering if she looked too nice.
How about that French-ish resteraunt that just opened? Curtis asked, wondering if he looked nice enough.
Isn't it expensive? the she-elf asked as they began down the street, a light snow falling through the sunset.
Not for you, Curtis smiled and Judy giggled, her cheeks gaining an even rosier look.
~*~
Table for four, please, Perrin told the woman at the front.
Right this way, sir, she picked up four menus and guided them to a booth, the boys sitting on one side and the girls on the other.
Um... its all in French, Perrin peered at the foreign words.
Jacey opened her own menu and her brow began to glisten in panic. What if I order cooked rabbit or something?!
Then we'll all die, Perrin sneered and Jacey's eyes narrowed. Kae and Bernard both burst out laughing when Jacey jerked slightly, causing a thud under the table as Perrin's face to twist in pain.
Well, can you read it? Perrin asked after recovering, looking to Bernard. The Head Elf shook his head, his black locks shaking with him. Perrin sighed and looked back at the menu.
Ladies and gentlemen, Bernard can't read, Bernard stopped shaking his head and glared at the elf, who only sneered back.
Boys will be boys, eh? Kae groaned and Jacey nodded, rolling her eyes.
Well, can you read it?! Bernard snapped. Kae looked rather uninterested with him, keeping her eyes on her menu.
I dropped out of school when they were still teaching us how to count to ten in Spanish, Kae replied. Bernard sighed heavily, as did Jacey and Perrin. Kae was the only one who didn't look rather disturbed at what she might end up ordering. It was then Bernard remembered that Kae grew up on the streets, eating whatever she could get her hands on. He didn't want to think about what it was she ate each night.
~*~
Two for the bar please, Curtis asked.
Right this way, the woman grabbed two menus and led them to a dimly lit section, where they seated themselves near the end so that they could be alone. Converstations were never as fun when you had to keep your voice down for fear the fat guy wearing the wife beater shirt and drinking his third beer in a twenty minutes behind you would decide to join in.
Do you know french? Curtis asked, opening his menu. Judy laughed and nodded.
I took a side course for it, she replied.
Can you translate?
Tell me what you want and I'll try to find it.
The two of them laughed together, everyone else slipping away. They felt like they were the only ones there, and with this feeling, they found themselves talking to each other as if they were back at the North Pole: Drinking cocoa, laughing, and enjoying every moment.
~*~
The orders came for the four Grey Elves. Perrin had wound up with a soup the same blue color as his eyes, Jacey had a fruit looking like a pineapple with strange stuff inside it looking mysteriously like hair, and Bernard had wound up with strange, grey pasta all in a corner with three meat balls to complete the smiley face on his plate. Kae, by some stroke of luck, had ended up with a pizza.
I need to go... be back and will kill you if you touch my pizza, Kae glared at the boys before turning to Jacey. Wanna come?
Jacey nodded, staring at her pineapple/hair dinner with wide eyes and a slightly green face.
As the two girls dissapeared, Bernard and Perrin looked at their dinners, looked at each other's, exchanged glances, sighed and pushed their plates away from them.
I'll try yours if you'll try mine, Perrin offered, to which Bernard gulped and nodded. He could swear he saw little blue things growing in his .
Both of them swallowed hard.
On three, Bernard said, and Perrin nodded in agreement. Perrin wrapped the sickly grey pasta on his fork as Bernard spooned some of the blue soup. they both raised the food up. Then, gulping, Bernard forced,
Two silverwares plunged at the same time, two eyes bulged, and two dinners flew across the table as they spit them out. They both exchanged glances and suddenly burst out laughing... not the kind of instinctive laughter from most jokes every Thursday, but true laughing where you couldn't stop and you couldn't breathe. Bernard hadn't laughed that hard for at least a year, for Dark Elves never laughed and he wasn't much better than one. Now that he was truly laughing again, he remembered what it was like to laugh so hard you couldn't stop. Only about ten seconds later did it die down slightly... actually, now instead of silent hysterics, it was just two men roaring in laughter, tears running down their cheeks.
~*~
Who in the name of Santa is laughing like that?! Curtis groaned, though not in an annoyed way, and Judy was giggling slightly.
Guess something pretty funny happened, Judy shrugged. All the same, though, she stood up slightly on the bars that were the frame of the chair and looked around. Let's see, I think it's coming from over ther-
Curtis asked when Judy stopped short.
Okay, turn around slowly... they might see us... look... right behind you... Curtis, laughing lightly, turned around to see who it was. His smile immediately faded.
It was Bernard and Perrin. They were laughing so hard they were crying. Perrin poured Bernard a glase of wine and they both downed it immediately, gurgling much to the disgust of those around them before swallowing. Their laughter finally dying, he saw Perrin shake his head, eyes wide, saying: in total shock. Bernard was pouring himself more and gurgling again.
How could he... Curtis found himself shaking, both in anger and sorrow. Sighing, he spun back around and hung his head. Judy, what's going on? Does Bernard hate us or something?
Oh I'm sure he doesn't! Judy tried to be comforting. Thankfully, she wasn't as easily angered as Curtis, but instead she felt extremely hurt.
Then why is he going behind our backs like this? We're always saying how much we don't like Perrin, yet now he's... well... he waved his hand back at them.
I'm sure there's a good reason why, Judy tried to comfort her friend, hoping she sounded more convinced that she truly was. Besides, we're jumping to conclusions! Maybe... Santa wanted them to get aquainted!
Maybe you're righ- Curtis cut off, his mouth dropping open. Judy puzzled at him a moment before following his gaze to see two girls coming out of the ladies room, one she immediately recognized as Kae. They were laughing with each other. They joined the table and soon, all of them were laughing together, lost in their own world. Curtis watched with pained eyes at his best friend... one of his only friends, the one he had told all his troubles to, the one had looked up to for so long...
Laughing harder than he had ever with Curtis. A tear crawled down the elf's face, and he suddenly realized how small he truly was. Suddenly, he felt very alone. He felt useless... he got the sinking feeling that Bernard had never liked him at all. Had he just imagined that they were friends that whole time...
Was I just a bother to him? Curtis asked. I always thought we were friends, but did he just put up with me because he had to...
Of course not! Judy told him sympathetically, yet she herself had been wondering the same thing.
I've never seen him that happy... Curtis sighed, turning back around. Even more tears were running down his face.
he asked timidly, trying to keep the sob out of his voice.
she asked, trying hard to hold back her own tears as Curtis raised his head to reveal tear stained cheeks.
Has he always hated me?
~*~
What took you two so long?! Perrin demanded when the two returned.
Do you really want to know? Kae grinned at him and the two boys exchanged glances.
Er... no, not really... Bernard laughed.
Thought so, Kae smiled. Jacey, swallowing hard, scooped out some of the and held it in front of her face at the same time Kae picked up a slice of pizza. Both of them took a bite.
HOLY SHIT! Jacey cried after spitting it out at the same time that Kae said: This is really good pizza! All it needs is a little pepper... Everyone glared at her as she looked around for the pepper shaker. UGH! THEY DIDN'T GIVE US ONE, THE CHEAPSKATES! HOW CAN A GIRL EAT PIZZA WITHOUT PEPPER?!
By picking it, biting it, chewing, and then swallowing, Perrin replied with another sneer.
Shut up, you prat, Kae growled at him and Perrin let his face fall in mock-hurt. Anyhow, I'm going to go steal someone's pepper shaker! THERE'S ONE! she sprung from her seat to retrieve it.
I'll go with you... Jacey followed Kae, looking green again.
Have fun, Perrin called after the two and recieved a cold glance from Kae over her shoulder. They always move in packs... Unfortunately, the table Kae and Jacey ventured to happened to be right next to where Curtis and Judy were...
Judy cried, smiling. The young elf looked up and returned the smile.
she walked over, smiling, Jacey following.
Who's this? Judy asked, motioning to the redhead.
Oh, Jacey, Kae introduced her friend.
Hey... you two, can I ask you something? Curtis asked, raising his head. Neither of them had noticed him because he had been hunching over, and his sudden appearence made them both jump. He looked slightly like he'd been crying. Kae and Jacey exchanged wondering glances before they both shrugged.
As long as you're aware I have no problem giving people bloody noses, sure, Kae smiled innocently. Suddenly, there was a loud crash from in the direction of their table.
Why do I get the feeling that was the boys? Kae groaned.
Probably trying to kill each other to get to you pizza, Jacey replied with a laugh.
Nice talkin' to ya' two... BYE! Kae sprinted back to the table, her pepper in hand.
Uh, they're a riot... Jacey shook her head in laughter before returning her gaze to the two in front of her. Now, what was your question?
Well... um... I... uh... would... well... Curtis sighed, hanging his head and keeping his gaze on the ground. Would you say Perrin and Bernard are... friends? the word seemed choked, but slight hope flickered in Curtis's eyes as he raised them again. That puzzled Jacey thoroughly.
she shook her head, not catching their sighs of relief. Then, she smiled at them. They're more like brothers!
Curtis choked. Didn't they use to say that about Bernard and him? Judy sighed, knowing that was not going to go over well with Curtis.
You bet! You know... how they fight all the time, but they're so close underneath it's scary!
They're... close? Curtis's eyes brimmed with tears.
As close as you can get! Apart from us having dinner together every Thursday, they meet up all the time! Just a week ago, they stayed out all night together and came back drunk as hell! Jacey laughed. She looked at Curtis, and her face quickly fell to see his teeth gritted in anger, fists clenched. I said too much, didn't I? Judy met her gaze and nodded before looking down again, a small tear running down her cheek.
~*~
Bernard had noticed something: Until he, Kae, Jacey, and Perrin had been hanging out so often, he hadn't been happy. Until he finally found three others who knew what he was going through, he had been miserable, and had actually cut his arms every now and then. He had learned to enjoy the pain immensly, for it made him forget about the pain on the inside. Now, whenever he was with them, he wasn't lying every time he either smiled or laughed.
For the first time in seven years, he was truly happy.
So... where's Jacey? Bernard asked, looking around.
Oh, we saw Judy and Curtis when we went to get the pepper... of course, when you two tried to steal my pizza, I left. Curtis had some question or another for Jacey... Kae waved her hand as if it was nothing important.
You left Jacey with them...? Bernard knew this wasn't good, yet instead of being troubled, he burst out laughing again.
a sudden voice made them all jump and he looked up in fear. He knew that voice. This wasn't good.
He imagined Curtis breaking out in little hairs and growing fangs, pouncing on their table, eyes glowing red...
Or not. He almost laughed... Curtis, a werewolf? Well, now that he expected the worst, what was coming couldn't be too bad...
Hadn't he said that before just before the Dark One had forced him to murder... this wasn't good.
His fears were confirmed. Curtis stood glaring at him, fists clenched, tears running down his cheeks. Judy was holding his arm, torn between looking sympathetically at Curtis and glaring at Bernard. Jacey slunk back to the table and sat next to Kae, looking rather stressed and guilty. This wasn't good.
Bernard almost laughed. That was the official understatement of the year. Well, it was either that or I don't think the Dark One likes Christmas that much...'
Bernard... how could you?! Curtis shouted, glaring at the Head elf, snapping him back to reality.
Huh... wait... how could I what? Bernard asked, but that just made Curtis even angrier.
he pointed at Perrin, who glared at his finger.
What about him? Bernard growled, slightly angering himself.
He's been my enemy for this long... and you go behind my back and befriend him?! ARE WE JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH FRIENDS ANYMORE FOR YOU?! IS THAT IT?! Curtis was shaking in fury. And... even then, you have to go make friends with that... that ignorant prat?! He pointed at Perrin again, and Perrin looked like he was about to jump across the table again and bite his finger off.
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! Bernard was on his feet with a crash as he knocked the table and the three others had to steady it. His own fists were clenched, and Curtis was backing down slightly. So what does it matter to you who I'm friends with?! Perrin has been there for me for several years in a way that you could never understand... we have a lot in common. Curtis, there are things about me I could never tell you because you would probably hate me for it... my past isn't all peaches and cream, and it is because of things that I wouldn't dare tell someone like you... Curtis couldn't tell whether to be offended or apologetic. He looked at the three behind Bernard as they exchanged knowing glances. He clenched his fists again.
What do you mean, someone like me?! Someone not as important... am I just not good enough for you, First In Command?! Bernard was shocked at being called that.
No, I don't, Curtis. I mean someone innocent like you! You don't have to worry about the things that I do, and if I were to tell you, I would curse you. Do you know why I grew up, Curtis? Bernard could feel tears springing to his eyes but he ignored them. Curtis shook his head, his anger fading. Curtis, elves grow up if they aren't innocent anymore. All of you live in worlds of laughter and wonder while we, he motioned to himself and the three behind him, are forced into worlds of darkness. I'm sorry that you can't trust me enough to realize I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt you. We've been friends for over seven hundred years, his eyes fell, though he didn't break their gaze. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
Curtis suddenly cried out in frusteration and anger before spinning around and fleeing. Judy glanced back at them once before chasing after Curtis.
Don't worry, he was a bastard anyway, Perrin smiled and Bernard snorted. That was Perrin's excuse for everything... the Dark One might as well have been walking around with a sign on his forehead reading bastad' with how many times Perrin had called him that.
~*~
Bernard sat alone in his home. He was feeling extremely guilty... small tears burned down his face. He loved Perrin, Kae, and Jacey... oh, he loved them like family! Yet at the same time, Curtis... and Judy... they had always tried to cheer him up even when they didn't know what was wrong! Weren't they the reasons he gave his life up? Weren't they what he was clinging to?
And he had lost them.
Slowly, Bernard walked into the kitchen. Moonlight spilled through the window, the only light in the room. Yet it was enough. He found his way easily to the knives. Drawing one of them, he glared at it.
What if it all just went away? Bernard wondered. He tightened his grip on the deadly strip of metal before raising it. He backed up against the wall and held it at arms length in both hands. I can make it go away... He shut his eyes. I really can... forever...
And he plunged the knife.
Bernard cried out in pain, eyes becoming wide. He sank to his knees and then fell all the way to the floor, breathing hard though it came in wheezed gasps. Tears ran down his pale cheeks, reflecting the moonlight as blood spilled out onto the wooden floor. Pain racked his body, pain almost as horrible as when the Dark One cursed you. He could hear someone crying out, and suddenly realized it was him...
I missed... he gasped. He looked with blurry eyes to where the knife was burried all the way through his shoulder. I couldn't do it... He slowly pushed himself upwards so that he was on his hands and knees, shuddering violently. Placing a sturdy hand on the knife, he yanked it free.
And screamed.
Blood poured out onto the floor even more than before. Bernard was becoming dizzy.
I can't do it... I have nothing to live for... so why can't I? he asked, peering into the darkness. And suddenly, he saw Curtis in the doorway. A small smile curved his lips. Maybe I still have faith in him... Curtis... he thought to himself. Then, looking down at the floor, he laughed at the blood puddling down below him. Maybe I'll bleed to death... with that final thought, his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed into his own, crimson pool.
He never really realized that Curtis was standing in the doorway... and had been since Bernard stabbed himself. The Head Elf's voice rang in his ears.
I'm sorry that you can't trust me enough to realize I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt you. We've been friends for over seven hundred years... Doesn't that mean anything to you?
Curtis sobbed, falling to his knees. Oh god Bernard... I'm so sorry... please...
Bernard didn't move.
~*~
Pick me up,
Been bleeding too long,
Right here, right now,
I'll stop it some how.
I will make it go away,
Can't be here no more,
Seems this is the only way,
I will soon be gone.
These feelings will be gone,
These feelings will be gone.
Now I see the times they change,
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,
I am hoping I can find,
Where to leave my hurt behind.
All this shit I seem to take,
All alone I seem to break,
I have lived the best I can,
Does this make me not a man?
Shut me off,
I am ready,
Heart stops, I stand alone,
Can't be on my own.
I will make it go away,
Can't be here no more,
Seems this is the only way,
I will soon be gone.
These feelings will be gone,
These feelings will be gone.
Now I see the times they change,
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,
I am hoping I can find,
Where to leave my hurt behind.
All this shit I seem to take,
All alone I seem to break,
I have lived the best I can,
Does this make me not a man?
Am I going to leave this place?
What is it I'm hanging from?
Is there nothing more to come?
Am I Gunna leave this place?
Is it always black in space?
Am I going to take it's place?
Am I going to leave this race?
Am I going to leave this race?
I guess God's up in this place?
What is it that I've become?
Is there something more to come?
More to come?
Now I see the times they change,
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,
I am hoping I can find,
Where to leave my hurt behind.
All this shit I seem to take,
All alone I seem to break,
I have lived the best I can,
Does this make me not a man?
Now I see the times they change,
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,
I am hoping I can find,
Where to leave my hurt behind.
All this shit I seem to take,
All alone I seem to break,
I have lived the best I can,
Does this make me not a man?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Alas, I couldn't get Curtis seeing Bernard quite as sad as I'd of liked, but it's not a total catastrophe, is it? ^_~ And bout Bernard... now does the song make sense... I will soon be gone'. Just to warn you:
I'm not the kind of author who has a problem killing off the main character.
Next chapter is gonna be REALLY REALLY REALLY ANGSTY!!!!!!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!
REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!!
You won't find out whether Bernard is dead until you review!! I've said the next chapter is really angsty... is it just more Bernard murders, or is it the funeral? Will Kae ever be able to admit she loves him, or will it fall on deaf ears? Did Bernard kill himself for nothing, since Curtis obviously came there to apologize? *grins evily*
I WILL NOT POST THE NEXT CHAPTER UNTIL I THERE ARE 5 ON THIS ONE!!!!!!!!
REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!!