Alternate Reality
Harry walked through to platform- 9 5/8? There was surely a mistake. Oh well, everything else seemed fine. The train ride was uneventful. He walked up to the castle. There was a large sign that read PIGWARTS SCHOOL OF FISHCRAFT AND LIZARDRY. He felt a little uneasy; something was definatly wrong.
The sorting began. Annie Melf- Chickenclaw. Missy Malfoy- Hisserin. Hailey Abbot- Badgerpuff. and Tony Celuss- Liondor. What was wrong? Surely everyone had not forgotten over the summer how things were supposed to be.
In the morning, Dumbledore announced that they all had to read devotions. Potions was chemistry, Defense Against the Dark Arts was Karate, and Herbology was Biology. The library had new books; one was called "The Evil Witches Who Went to Hogwarts", the other "Why Witchcraft Is Bad". Everyone had become a zealot over the summer!
Harry was in the chemistry dungeon. Snape was rattling on about mixing some dangerous chemicals. Neville accidentally exploded some of it on Snape and he broke out in spots. "Neville, you can scrub the beakers today- and Liondor now has 0 house points."
Afterschool, Harry had soccer practise. Quidditch had apparently never existed. Neither did the owl post. Since some of the owls were endangered, Dumbledore made them go free!!!
In History of Christianity, Harry had to do a report on the witch burnings in Salem. Since Harry had disrespected the Dursleys, his confessor made him skip breakfast. Harry didn't understand any of the mass, so his just stood, kneeled, and hummed when it was appropriate. (It was all in Latin. Even Malfoy, of all people, had been brainwashed.)
Malfoy approached Harry. "Hi, Harry. I'm very sorry for being mean. Do you want to be my friend?" Malfoy held out his hand. Harry was confused.
"OK this is a trick isn't it?"
"No!! We're all related you know. Hermione, I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?"
"Yes!!! Of course I do Draco. I just didn't appreciate you noticing me." Draco bent down and kissed Hermione's hand.
Ron said, "Please forgive me- I was rude." They shook hands.
Harry shook his hand. "I guess I forgive you- forgive me too."
He walked away. Something was wrong if Malfoy wanted forgiveness.
Dumbledore said, "Peace has come between the houses; the heirs of Slytherin and Gryffindor have been united. There will no longer be four Pigwarts houses; we will be the United Houses of Pigwarts!" Everyone cheered. Dumbledore signaled to Filch, who hung up new banners- blue with pink pigs and the words "United Pigwarts" woven in in silver. Harry almost gagged- Aunt Petunia would have liked Pigwarts.
Hagrid walked in. "Your new mascot- the noble pig!!!" He was carrying an overweight potbelly pig. "For biology, we will observe our beautiful pink pig, Henry. Say hi to Henry."
Everyone said "hi" enthusiastically- except Harry. "We will compete against Durmstang- now called Institution of the Enlightened- and Beauxbatons- still Beauxbatons, it's just the crossed wands are now the cross- to see whose pig is heavier at the end of the year."
Harry thought it was ludicris. This was mockery! Where was Hogwarts? Gone! For the first time in his life, Harry wished he was at Smeltings.
Dumbledore said, "Peace has come between the houses; the heirs of Slytherin and Gryffindor have been united. There will no longer be four Pigwarts houses; we will be the United Houses of Pigwarts!" Everyone cheered. Dumbledore signaled to Filch, who hung up new banners- blue with pink pigs and the words "United Pigwarts" woven in in silver. Harry almost gagged- Aunt Petunia would have liked Pigwarts.
Hagrid walked in. "Your new mascot- the noble pig!!!" He was carrying an overweight potbelly pig. "For biology, we will observe our beautiful pink pig, Henry. Say hi to Henry."
Everyone said "hi" enthusiastically- except Harry. "We will compete against Durmstang- now called Institution of the Enlightened- and Beauxbatons- still Beauxbatons, it's just the crossed wands are now the cross- to see whose pig is heavier at the end of the year."
Harry thought it was ludicris. This was mockery! Where was Hogwarts? Gone! For the first time in his life, Harry wished he was at Smeltings.
The next day, Dr. Crazee returned. "Our official ministry data shows that you need counseling, Professor Dumbledore."
"What do you mean? I'm normal."
"Normal!" Harry shouted. "You are out of your senses! It seems as though anyone who remained in the wizarding world has gone insane! All of you!!!"
"Yes," said Dr. Crazee. "I'm afraid so. I was on holiday in Cancun visiting my brother... however, I'm afraid someone has cursed the wizarding world and given us some sort of... altered reality."
"Oh!" cried Hermione. "I've read about those. And by the way, I was in the muggle world too over the summer."
"Harry and Hermione, I would like to see you after this meeting," Dr. Crazee said.
Dumbledore said quietly, "I am perfectly sane. It is you who is looney."
"Someone has put an altered reality on Hogwarts," Hermione said matter-of-factly. "They changed it to the way they want it to be- someone who can't do magic probably did it. No, wait, if they can't do magic they can't. So someone, like a squib, probably had someone else do it for them," she reasoned.
"Or worse- Voldemort," Harry said glumly.
"Harry!" Hermione hissed.
"Sorry."
"Now- all you have to do is get Ron to believe you and then you're set. There's a certain spell that must be done under the waning moon by three people and a cat to get rid of an unwanted altered reality."
"But that's not until next week!" cried Hermione.
"Honestly, what are you talking about? Witches and spells are only in fairy tales," said Ron.
"Ron! You have to believe us! You're our only hope!" Hermione said seriously.
"Dr. Crazee, why can't you do it? Hermione, you and I would be three."
"I can't- children only. But I am going to Beauxbatons to try and convince them on that day."
"There is no such thing as magic!" Ron burst out.
"Ron, you have to help! Please!" said Hermione, who was practically on her knees.
"Penance for you all," said the approaching confessor.
"Put a sock in it," muttered Harry.
"Oh! You must..."
"I said put a sock in it!" he said firmly.
"We must all repent. Time is running out!"
"Oh stop talking about your endless nonsense," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.
I'm sorry, Ron is supposed to say "Stop talking about your endless nonsense"
That night, Harry said to Ron, "Ron, you need to believe us. By next week we have to have you convinced."
"What- to start worshipping demons? No thanks," he said, crossing himself.
"No! You have to believe us," said Hermione, yanking on Harry's arm. "My trunk wasn't affected by the curse; let's go do some research."
"Hermione- I think I've found it!" whispered Harry, trying to conceal his voice.
"What did you find?"
"You have to sneak a garnet under his pillow and tell it to make him dream about his past lives- it will all come back."
"Good- but where can we get a garnet- and how can we get it under his pillow?" Hermione asked.
"I know! Ron's birthday- It's next week!"
"But what would RON do with jewelry?" Hermione said, rolling her eyes. "Oh- wait- it's my birthstone!"
"Great- now for the spell!" They charmed the dark red stone then put it under Ron's pillow.
That night, Ron dreamed he was at the normal Hogwarts. Snape was yelling at him for not making his potion properly. Malfoy was flicking bat's eyes at him. The triwizard tournament- Harry was in it. And quidditch, yes, quidditch, Harry caught the snitch. And then- the Mirror of Erised. He saw himself for the second time. He saw himself captain of the quidditch team in it. He vaguely remembered the mirror showed your deepest desires; had he ever wanted that? One voice in his mind said yes Ron, that was your true self. Return! Return! You can do it! While another said No! Don't! You shouldn't! It's just not right! He just wasn't sure what to think... and then it dawned on him. "Wait a minute, if these things have never been a part of me, and they don't exist, why am I dreaming about them?"
"Hermione!" said Ron. "I need a wand."
"Thank goodness you've come to your senses," she replied. "I have no idea where you can get one, though."
"I also need to re-learn my spells."
"Of course."
"And learn the ritual."
"Yes- Harry and I will teach you everything. This needs to be set right."
"I've forgotten everything- it's like I've had a mental breakdown," he said, giggling.
"It's not funny- what if you-know-who's behind this?"
"Who's he?"
"Oh for Pete's sake!" Hermione exclaimed, starting at the very beginning.
"And last year, Harry won the Triwizard Tournament," she finished.
"Oh- I remember now!" he exclaimed.
"Good! Now, we have only to prepare." She read a piece of parchment Dr. Crazee had given her:
Alternate Reality Riddance Ritual
This spell must be done under the full moon by three children and a cat. It has to be 11:59 PM. They must sit under a willow tree and say the following three times:
Flipped, twisted, turned.
This must be burned.
At midnight we will see
The end of the altered reality.
The cat just should be present.
Then light, in order, a white candle, red, then black. At that time, it should be precisely midnight, when you will feel a small jolt. With the new day, all will be normal.
"Now, where are we going to get black, white, and red candles? And how are we going to get to a willow tree to do this?" asked Harry.
"I know the chapel has white and red candles. The Whomping Willow doesn't whomp anymore, but it's still a willow," said Hermione.
"And you have an invisibility cloak, don't you?" Ron said, mentally putting the pieces together.
"Black ones will be tough," Harry put in. "But, I think tomorrow when we go to Christmas World we can get one." (Christmas World replaced Hogsmeade.)
"I'm not sure," said Ron. "I think they're probably at least two Ships, and I only have one." (It's now Ships, Rakes, and Bolts not Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts.)
"That could be a problem- I still have Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts," Hermione pointed out. "And Harry probably does, too."
"Maybe I can get Fred to lend me one- they still have most of the money you gave them at the end of last year, even though it's converted," said Ron. "Hey, Fred, I'll give you a Ship later if you give me one now... please!"
"Interest?" Fred said.
"Fine- a Ship and a Bolt."
"Done." Fred dug in his pocket. "Here- but I want it by next week."
Ron took Fred's Ship. Later he nudged Harry and said,"If we succeed, it won't matter. We'll be back to Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts. He won't remember a thing."
Harry laughed. "It's for the good of us all anyway."
"You have a point." Then they went to divinations.
"Open up your bibles to Isiah. We have worksheets to do."
Harry thought,"That makes some sort of sense- Isiah was a prophet from what I can understand."
Harry did the worksheet, even though he didn't understand.
After divinations, they left for Christmas World.
They went to Christmas World. Ron purchased the candles and they returned to Pigwarts.
The big night came. They sat under the willow tree protected from teachers by Harry's invisibility cloak. Crookshanks was there, as were Hermione and Ron. Everything was perfect. It was 11:59 PM. The spell began.
"Flipped, twisted, turned.
This must be burned.
At midnight we will see
The end of the altered reality," they all said. Crookshanks meowed. Hermione lit the white candle, then Harry lit the red one, and then Ron lit the black one. The world seemed to turn upside down and then spin really fast. The ground began to shake. A bolt of lightning came down from the sky. It seemed to meet the scar on Harry's forehead. Things faded in and out of Harry's vision. Colors slowly melted together until it was all a whirl. And then- the big jolt.
"It's working!" said Harry.
"I can't believe it!" exclaimed Hermione.
"I would never have thought..." Ron began. Just then, the world seemed to be transformed. Everything was the way Harry had known it before. "Hermione-" Ron said, pulling Hermione away from the Whomping Willow.
"I don't care! I'm just glad Hogwarts is back." Crookshanks purred.
It didn't seem long before they boarded the Hogwarts express for the end of the year. The House Cup had been won by Hufflepuff and they hadn't played Quidditch for the second year in a row, much to Harry's dismay. "What a strange way to end the year," said Harry.
"Yes," Ron agreed. "It certainly is."
"Strangest ever," said Hermione.
The end!
Harry walked through to platform- 9 5/8? There was surely a mistake. Oh well, everything else seemed fine. The train ride was uneventful. He walked up to the castle. There was a large sign that read PIGWARTS SCHOOL OF FISHCRAFT AND LIZARDRY. He felt a little uneasy; something was definatly wrong.
The sorting began. Annie Melf- Chickenclaw. Missy Malfoy- Hisserin. Hailey Abbot- Badgerpuff. and Tony Celuss- Liondor. What was wrong? Surely everyone had not forgotten over the summer how things were supposed to be.
In the morning, Dumbledore announced that they all had to read devotions. Potions was chemistry, Defense Against the Dark Arts was Karate, and Herbology was Biology. The library had new books; one was called "The Evil Witches Who Went to Hogwarts", the other "Why Witchcraft Is Bad". Everyone had become a zealot over the summer!
Harry was in the chemistry dungeon. Snape was rattling on about mixing some dangerous chemicals. Neville accidentally exploded some of it on Snape and he broke out in spots. "Neville, you can scrub the beakers today- and Liondor now has 0 house points."
Afterschool, Harry had soccer practise. Quidditch had apparently never existed. Neither did the owl post. Since some of the owls were endangered, Dumbledore made them go free!!!
In History of Christianity, Harry had to do a report on the witch burnings in Salem. Since Harry had disrespected the Dursleys, his confessor made him skip breakfast. Harry didn't understand any of the mass, so his just stood, kneeled, and hummed when it was appropriate. (It was all in Latin. Even Malfoy, of all people, had been brainwashed.)
Malfoy approached Harry. "Hi, Harry. I'm very sorry for being mean. Do you want to be my friend?" Malfoy held out his hand. Harry was confused.
"OK this is a trick isn't it?"
"No!! We're all related you know. Hermione, I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?"
"Yes!!! Of course I do Draco. I just didn't appreciate you noticing me." Draco bent down and kissed Hermione's hand.
Ron said, "Please forgive me- I was rude." They shook hands.
Harry shook his hand. "I guess I forgive you- forgive me too."
He walked away. Something was wrong if Malfoy wanted forgiveness.
Dumbledore said, "Peace has come between the houses; the heirs of Slytherin and Gryffindor have been united. There will no longer be four Pigwarts houses; we will be the United Houses of Pigwarts!" Everyone cheered. Dumbledore signaled to Filch, who hung up new banners- blue with pink pigs and the words "United Pigwarts" woven in in silver. Harry almost gagged- Aunt Petunia would have liked Pigwarts.
Hagrid walked in. "Your new mascot- the noble pig!!!" He was carrying an overweight potbelly pig. "For biology, we will observe our beautiful pink pig, Henry. Say hi to Henry."
Everyone said "hi" enthusiastically- except Harry. "We will compete against Durmstang- now called Institution of the Enlightened- and Beauxbatons- still Beauxbatons, it's just the crossed wands are now the cross- to see whose pig is heavier at the end of the year."
Harry thought it was ludicris. This was mockery! Where was Hogwarts? Gone! For the first time in his life, Harry wished he was at Smeltings.
Dumbledore said, "Peace has come between the houses; the heirs of Slytherin and Gryffindor have been united. There will no longer be four Pigwarts houses; we will be the United Houses of Pigwarts!" Everyone cheered. Dumbledore signaled to Filch, who hung up new banners- blue with pink pigs and the words "United Pigwarts" woven in in silver. Harry almost gagged- Aunt Petunia would have liked Pigwarts.
Hagrid walked in. "Your new mascot- the noble pig!!!" He was carrying an overweight potbelly pig. "For biology, we will observe our beautiful pink pig, Henry. Say hi to Henry."
Everyone said "hi" enthusiastically- except Harry. "We will compete against Durmstang- now called Institution of the Enlightened- and Beauxbatons- still Beauxbatons, it's just the crossed wands are now the cross- to see whose pig is heavier at the end of the year."
Harry thought it was ludicris. This was mockery! Where was Hogwarts? Gone! For the first time in his life, Harry wished he was at Smeltings.
The next day, Dr. Crazee returned. "Our official ministry data shows that you need counseling, Professor Dumbledore."
"What do you mean? I'm normal."
"Normal!" Harry shouted. "You are out of your senses! It seems as though anyone who remained in the wizarding world has gone insane! All of you!!!"
"Yes," said Dr. Crazee. "I'm afraid so. I was on holiday in Cancun visiting my brother... however, I'm afraid someone has cursed the wizarding world and given us some sort of... altered reality."
"Oh!" cried Hermione. "I've read about those. And by the way, I was in the muggle world too over the summer."
"Harry and Hermione, I would like to see you after this meeting," Dr. Crazee said.
Dumbledore said quietly, "I am perfectly sane. It is you who is looney."
"Someone has put an altered reality on Hogwarts," Hermione said matter-of-factly. "They changed it to the way they want it to be- someone who can't do magic probably did it. No, wait, if they can't do magic they can't. So someone, like a squib, probably had someone else do it for them," she reasoned.
"Or worse- Voldemort," Harry said glumly.
"Harry!" Hermione hissed.
"Sorry."
"Now- all you have to do is get Ron to believe you and then you're set. There's a certain spell that must be done under the waning moon by three people and a cat to get rid of an unwanted altered reality."
"But that's not until next week!" cried Hermione.
"Honestly, what are you talking about? Witches and spells are only in fairy tales," said Ron.
"Ron! You have to believe us! You're our only hope!" Hermione said seriously.
"Dr. Crazee, why can't you do it? Hermione, you and I would be three."
"I can't- children only. But I am going to Beauxbatons to try and convince them on that day."
"There is no such thing as magic!" Ron burst out.
"Ron, you have to help! Please!" said Hermione, who was practically on her knees.
"Penance for you all," said the approaching confessor.
"Put a sock in it," muttered Harry.
"Oh! You must..."
"I said put a sock in it!" he said firmly.
"We must all repent. Time is running out!"
"Oh stop talking about your endless nonsense," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.
I'm sorry, Ron is supposed to say "Stop talking about your endless nonsense"
That night, Harry said to Ron, "Ron, you need to believe us. By next week we have to have you convinced."
"What- to start worshipping demons? No thanks," he said, crossing himself.
"No! You have to believe us," said Hermione, yanking on Harry's arm. "My trunk wasn't affected by the curse; let's go do some research."
"Hermione- I think I've found it!" whispered Harry, trying to conceal his voice.
"What did you find?"
"You have to sneak a garnet under his pillow and tell it to make him dream about his past lives- it will all come back."
"Good- but where can we get a garnet- and how can we get it under his pillow?" Hermione asked.
"I know! Ron's birthday- It's next week!"
"But what would RON do with jewelry?" Hermione said, rolling her eyes. "Oh- wait- it's my birthstone!"
"Great- now for the spell!" They charmed the dark red stone then put it under Ron's pillow.
That night, Ron dreamed he was at the normal Hogwarts. Snape was yelling at him for not making his potion properly. Malfoy was flicking bat's eyes at him. The triwizard tournament- Harry was in it. And quidditch, yes, quidditch, Harry caught the snitch. And then- the Mirror of Erised. He saw himself for the second time. He saw himself captain of the quidditch team in it. He vaguely remembered the mirror showed your deepest desires; had he ever wanted that? One voice in his mind said yes Ron, that was your true self. Return! Return! You can do it! While another said No! Don't! You shouldn't! It's just not right! He just wasn't sure what to think... and then it dawned on him. "Wait a minute, if these things have never been a part of me, and they don't exist, why am I dreaming about them?"
"Hermione!" said Ron. "I need a wand."
"Thank goodness you've come to your senses," she replied. "I have no idea where you can get one, though."
"I also need to re-learn my spells."
"Of course."
"And learn the ritual."
"Yes- Harry and I will teach you everything. This needs to be set right."
"I've forgotten everything- it's like I've had a mental breakdown," he said, giggling.
"It's not funny- what if you-know-who's behind this?"
"Who's he?"
"Oh for Pete's sake!" Hermione exclaimed, starting at the very beginning.
"And last year, Harry won the Triwizard Tournament," she finished.
"Oh- I remember now!" he exclaimed.
"Good! Now, we have only to prepare." She read a piece of parchment Dr. Crazee had given her:
Alternate Reality Riddance Ritual
This spell must be done under the full moon by three children and a cat. It has to be 11:59 PM. They must sit under a willow tree and say the following three times:
Flipped, twisted, turned.
This must be burned.
At midnight we will see
The end of the altered reality.
The cat just should be present.
Then light, in order, a white candle, red, then black. At that time, it should be precisely midnight, when you will feel a small jolt. With the new day, all will be normal.
"Now, where are we going to get black, white, and red candles? And how are we going to get to a willow tree to do this?" asked Harry.
"I know the chapel has white and red candles. The Whomping Willow doesn't whomp anymore, but it's still a willow," said Hermione.
"And you have an invisibility cloak, don't you?" Ron said, mentally putting the pieces together.
"Black ones will be tough," Harry put in. "But, I think tomorrow when we go to Christmas World we can get one." (Christmas World replaced Hogsmeade.)
"I'm not sure," said Ron. "I think they're probably at least two Ships, and I only have one." (It's now Ships, Rakes, and Bolts not Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts.)
"That could be a problem- I still have Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts," Hermione pointed out. "And Harry probably does, too."
"Maybe I can get Fred to lend me one- they still have most of the money you gave them at the end of last year, even though it's converted," said Ron. "Hey, Fred, I'll give you a Ship later if you give me one now... please!"
"Interest?" Fred said.
"Fine- a Ship and a Bolt."
"Done." Fred dug in his pocket. "Here- but I want it by next week."
Ron took Fred's Ship. Later he nudged Harry and said,"If we succeed, it won't matter. We'll be back to Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts. He won't remember a thing."
Harry laughed. "It's for the good of us all anyway."
"You have a point." Then they went to divinations.
"Open up your bibles to Isiah. We have worksheets to do."
Harry thought,"That makes some sort of sense- Isiah was a prophet from what I can understand."
Harry did the worksheet, even though he didn't understand.
After divinations, they left for Christmas World.
They went to Christmas World. Ron purchased the candles and they returned to Pigwarts.
The big night came. They sat under the willow tree protected from teachers by Harry's invisibility cloak. Crookshanks was there, as were Hermione and Ron. Everything was perfect. It was 11:59 PM. The spell began.
"Flipped, twisted, turned.
This must be burned.
At midnight we will see
The end of the altered reality," they all said. Crookshanks meowed. Hermione lit the white candle, then Harry lit the red one, and then Ron lit the black one. The world seemed to turn upside down and then spin really fast. The ground began to shake. A bolt of lightning came down from the sky. It seemed to meet the scar on Harry's forehead. Things faded in and out of Harry's vision. Colors slowly melted together until it was all a whirl. And then- the big jolt.
"It's working!" said Harry.
"I can't believe it!" exclaimed Hermione.
"I would never have thought..." Ron began. Just then, the world seemed to be transformed. Everything was the way Harry had known it before. "Hermione-" Ron said, pulling Hermione away from the Whomping Willow.
"I don't care! I'm just glad Hogwarts is back." Crookshanks purred.
It didn't seem long before they boarded the Hogwarts express for the end of the year. The House Cup had been won by Hufflepuff and they hadn't played Quidditch for the second year in a row, much to Harry's dismay. "What a strange way to end the year," said Harry.
"Yes," Ron agreed. "It certainly is."
"Strangest ever," said Hermione.
The end!