Crunch...
Berret looked up from his book to gaze at the Nebari girl sprawled across the other side of the bed. Chiana wasn't paying much attention to the Shrike, as she was so absorbed in the crispy snack cubes she was devouring with gusto. She noisily sucked the crumbs off each of her thin pale fingers as Berret turned back to his book. He found the place where he left off and settled in to continue his reading.
Crunch... Crunch...
The Shrike rolled his eyes and glared at the gray woman as he closed the book and let it flop to the bed between them.
"You're getting crumbs in the bed," he complained to her.
"Sorry," was her muffled reply but she didn't stop eating her snacks. "Have one," she offered, holding out a plate that had only two of the treats left on it. The plate had been full to over flowing when she brought it into his quarters. Within a half arn the small woman had demolished the pile of cubes. Berret wondered to himself where the tiny female put it all.
"No, thank you," he said rather coolly as he swung his feet off the bed and stood up.
"What's the matter with you?" asked Chiana.
"Its rather annoying to have to sleep with crumbs all over the bed. You are somewhat of a messy eater," he told her.
"Oh?" she said snidely, "Is there anything else about me you find 'annoying'?"
"Yes. You have a habit of leaving your undergarments all over my lavatory."
"Well, excuse me! I thought we were friends," she retorted.
"Is it common on Nebari Prime for friends to trash their friend's living quarters?"
"If you feel that way about it, then I'll frelling leave!" shouted Chiana as she rose from the bed.
The girl started to stalk toward the door and Berret felt his heart drop out of his chest at the thought of her leaving angry. He caught her arm as she stormed passed him on her way out.
"Pixie...wait," he said.
"What?" she asked with an angry glare.
"I... I'm sorry. I don't know why I said those things," Berret said to her.
"We seem to be having a lot of disagreements lately," said the girl as she crossed her arms in front of her.
"I know. I'll try and do better," he promised.
"Listen 'Ret, I've been thinking... maybe we have been spending too much time together and that's why we're getting on each other's nerves," Chiana said, the comment actually more question than statement.
Berret felt his blood run cold at her words. He'd felt lately that there was something missing between them or rather that there should have been something more, but he didn't know what. That feeling of an empty space was what was making him react strangely, the emptiness somehow made him feel... well, insecure. He wanted to be in the woman's company as much as possible, not have less of it. Unfortunately by her statement it appeared to Berret that Chiana might want less of his companionship.
"I think it would be better if I just go back to my quarter's... that way we won't be arguing over every little thing," said the Nebari as if she were sounding him out on the idea.
Not knowing what else to do, Berret released her arm and nodded his head as if he agreed with her.
She looked up at him with her dark eyes as if waiting for him to say something more, but he thought it would be selfish of him to ask her to stay when it was so obvious that she preferred to leave at that microt. It then occurred to him that the woman had stayed with him out of a sense of responsibility and now she was growing wary of the chore of having to always look after him. She had given him more then he'd had the right to ask for, and regardless of what he might have felt for her... it wouldn't be acceptable to continue to encumber the Nebari girl. The constant fighting had to be her rebelling at the chain he had become, the proper thing to do would be to remain silent and not push his feelings...or his company, onto the girl. When he didn't say anything further, Chiana said goodnight and left his quarters. As soon as the door cycled closed behind the girl the room seemed to grow as large as a cavern and as silent as a tomb. Until then he hadn't realized just how much of the normal background noise in his life had revolved around Chiana's presence. The rustle of her clothing, the laugh that could range from a delightful tinkle to an annoying bark, the sound of her sighing in her sleep, all had become part of his everyday life. Lost in the silence of his quarters Berret thought he would explode. Not knowing what else to do and not being able to stand the empty room much longer, he put his boots back on and went down to the makeshift gym on the next tier. Hoping that just maybe he could exercise this odd feeling out of himself.
Chiana quarters seem foreign to her now as she realized how little time she actually had spent in them since Berret came aboard. After he was released from his cell they'd spent the first few night staying up and talking until they both fell asleep. It had become routine and Berret never complained about the loss of privacy, somewhere along the way she had come to consider his quarters "theirs" without realizing it. She looked at her own bed and thought that it looked huge compared to the one in Berret's room even though she knew that they were both exactly the same size. It looked... empty, she concluded as she sat down on the soft mattress. It then occurred to her that she could probably count the number of times the Shrike had been inside her quarters on the fingers of one hand, except for that time they'd had too much to drink, the man had never sleep here. He'd never showed up with a tray of snack cubes or with anything to drink. He never stopped by to visit, to kick his boots off and stay all night to chat with her... never, not once in all this time. Chiana's eyes felt heavy with un-shed tears as she realized that everything had been on her part. Berret never seemed to have sought out her company on his own. He had really never made an effort to be with her. Inwardly she berated herself for not seeing the signs; the man only tolerated her out of gratitude. At first he was lost and had no one else to turn too, but now as he found more of himself and recovered more of his personality. He was starting to resist against her constant hovering in his life. She realized that in the beginning it thrilled her to have someone depending on her, to have someone need her. Then she enjoyed the equal companionship their relationship had evolved into. After meeting the Delvian Shrike Grandmaster, Shenna, she realized that somehow their relationship meant more then friendship to her. Somewhere along the way she'd fallen in love with Berret almost without realizing it was happening.
Shenna had told her that they had a future together and that she would know when to pursue it. Somehow, somewhere, she missed her cue. She waited or hesitated too long and the moment passed them by. Berret had let her leave without really even trying to stop her, without even really saying anything. He just nodded his head as if he agreed with everything she'd said... almost like he wanted her to go. A single tear escaped and rolled down her pale cheek and she wiped it away on one sleeve. The old man had said Berret was in love with her, if he ever was... she was sure he wasn't now. She'd done it again and driven someone else she cared about away. All she had to do was teach him about love and instead she taught him how not to be able to stand her company anymore. All they had done lately was argue and fight, now Berret didn't want to be near her and he seemed more dispassionate and guarded then ever. It was obvious that the man wanted his space from her. Everything he'd worked for in regaining his sense of self was slowly being stifled out of him because of her. More tears came as Chiana made her decision to stay out of Berret's life, so he could go on without her interference. She ached to talk with Zhaan or one of the others, but she didn't want to hear the "I told you so," she knew she would get. They all thought she was too young to be able to help Berret find what he'd lost, to regain some of his humanity. The others constantly told her that was a task for a mature mind. To make matters worse, she decided that they would be right. She was too young and she had frelled things up... just like she always did.
Her heart breaking she also knew she couldn't stay here aboard Moya with him feeling the way she did. She decided she would prove them wrong. She had taken responsibility for bringing Berret aboard and she would give him one more gift... his freedom from her. She would step aside and give him the room he needed to grow. Just as a mother would sacrifice herself for her child's welfare, she would set aside her own well-being and security for someone she loved. The decision made, she felt her room closing in around her as she got up off her bed. Grabbing the largest bag she could find at the moment, the girl began stuffing clothes and other personal items inside it.
"I have to get out of here," Chiana murmured to herself.
Chiana landed the Transport Pod at the landing port of the commerce planet's largest city. Moya had been orbiting the planet for two solar days while Rygel and Crichton arranged trade agreements and a contract to haul cargo in-system for a merchant. Pilot had tried to talk her out of leaving but she had reminded him of his promise that any of them where free to leave Moya at any time and she held him to it. Pilot relented and reluctantly promised not to tell the others of her decision to leave until one of them inquired about her whereabouts. She told him she would leave the Pod at the city's spaceport for the others to pick up later and left Moya without saying any further good-byes. While she had flown over the city in a holding pattern waiting for permission to land, she had a good view of the planet's outlaying areas. The world was covered mostly in great deserts where huge savage sand storms ranged. When one threaten the few cities scattered over the planet's surface, immense force-screens where erected over the populated areas. While the screens were active, no ships could land or leave during the storms. The Nebari girl picked up her bag and tossed it over one shoulder before exiting the pod. Sadly, she turned and gave the familiar ship one last look before closing and locking it up.
"Well, I guess it had to end sometime," she said out loud to herself. "I've been on my own before and did okay. I'll just find somewhere to crash, check out the nightlife and try to find a way off this sand-ball... shouldn't be too difficult. Just like old times."
She kept telling herself that over and over again as she wandered off into the crowded streets.
"What do you mean, 'she's gone'!" thundered D'argo.
"I mean gone... as in, Chiana has left the building," answered Crichton.
Berret stood stunned, his heart having turned to ice at the news. The Luxan whirled in his direction.
"You!" he growled out. "This is your doing. What did you say to her?" he demanded.
"We... we had a small disagreement last night and she returned to her quarters. She never said anything about leaving Moya," stammered out the Shrike.
"Well, your 'small disagreement' was obviously upsetting enough that Chiana felt she had to jump ship," Aeryn put in.
Feeling guilty, Berret confessed, "We have been arguing often now, since the wedding. I don't know why."
"I see," drawled Rygel as he moved his thronesled closer to the ex-assassin until he was floating nose to nose with the man. "Well, maybe if you made up your frelling mind about what you wanted, the two of you wouldn't fight so much!" exclaimed the Hynerian in hot anger.
Two things took Berret aback. The first being that Rygel had hit the cause of most of their problems right on the head, If only he could find the courage in himself to tell her how he sometimes felt - even though he knew nothing could ever come of it. The second thing was that the Dominar was visibly worried about Chiana... enough that he almost ran the Shrike down with his floating throne as he berated him. Not something the normally self-centered Hynerian would have the courage to do.
"Enough Rygel, it is not Berret's fault. Chiana is a free-willed individual," said Zhaan. "If she chose to leave then we must respect her decision."
"That's all very nice, Blue... but do you mind if we go down and find her to make sure that's what she really wants before we say our good-byes?" asked Crichton.
"No, of course not, John. I was going to suggest that," answered the Pa'u.
"Good. Pilot, how long until that sand storm over the city dies out?"
"About .75 of a solar day, Commander," replied Moya's pilot.
"Great... then we sit here and wait until then," John said to the group. "I'm going to the central chamber for something to eat. Anyone want to join me?"
Most of the crew left with John, leaving Zhaan and Berret alone on the Command tier. D'argo's parting glare was more one of disappointment then of hate, which made Berret feel worse then he already did. The Shrike wordlessly started to gaze out at the storm-covered planet below them. Somewhere below was Chiana, alone and on her own. If someone had to leave it should have been him, he was the one who didn't really belong. Zhaan came to stand by his side, knowing the man was upset she tried to comfort him.
"She'll be alright, Jared," she promised. Berret was silent for a few microts before saying,
"You were wrong, Zhaan. It is my fault she left... the others were right."
Before the Delvian could say anything further the Shrike turned and left the tier also.
Chiana wandered around the storefronts and market place. She tried to distract herself with looking over all the different items that were for sale, but as she got into it she found herself turning around several times to ask Berret's opinion on something, only to find herself alone. Two arns of traveling around the city brought her no closer to finding somewhere to lodge for the night. She decided it was time to become serious about that task and started to turn away from the shop window she'd been looking in when she caught something familiar out of the corner of her eye. Going back she pressed her face up against the window to get a better view of the objects that had snagged her interested.
"By the Goddess!" she murmured in astonishment and then turned to rush inside the store.
Like a Nebari whirlwind the girl descended upon the shop and had the proprietor pull the items that had caught her eye from his front window. On closer inspection they were even more beautiful then she had first thought. In her open hand she held two earrings that were in the shape of a three-loop triangle with intertwining knot work running through each loop connecting them all together. They were Nebari Bonding earrings. The three loops signified man, woman, and family with the knot work binding them together as one. Her and Nerri's parents had had a pair that was almost as lovely as these. Finding them here outside the Nebari system was nothing short of a miracle. The thought froze the girl for a microt, miracle or a sign? Was this what the old Delvian was talking about? Was finding these earrings so far from home at this time and place the sign and the clue to where Berret and her relationship should go next? Maybe they needed this next step and that's why they both had been fighting... they both needed something more from each other, to openly declare that they would be together forever like Aeryn and John had.
"They are a fine choice," said the shop owner, bringing the girl out of her deep thought. "They're..." he started to explain.
"I know what they are," Chiana said cutting him off. The thought of stealing them passed through her mind but she quickly pushed the idea away. Something this important, this sacred... should not be begun or built on the first step being theft. Nebari Bondings were not taken lightly; when you bonded with someone you did it for life and with all of your heart and love. Nothing should be allowed to cheapen the gift. Even at her wildest, she would never have considered bonding to somebody lightly... there were some lines even she would never have crossed no matter how reckless she felt like being.
"How much do you want for them?" she found herself asking before she realized it.
The shop owner named a price that was slightly more then half the credits she had with her. She almost decided against purchasing the earrings but the mental picture she had was too alluring. Berret and her kneeling before an alter facing each other while their patrons of honor waited to simultaneously pierce their left ears as they completed their vows to each other, then the slight pleasurable sting as they promised to hold each other's souls dear forever. Without further thought or debate she dug out her credits and paid the man the asking price. She paused a microt to gaze at the earrings before deciding on securing them in one of the hidden pockets about her clothes. She chose one that was barely big enough to hide a couple of coins in but was more then large enough to hide what she now considered more valuable then money. As she exited the store she made a mental note to ask Zhaan and Malika to bless them before the bonding ceremony. Now all she had to do was talk Berret into bonding with her she thought, hoping it would be as simple as that. She believed that the man could feel that way for her, she just wished she knew for sure. Shenna had said she would be the one who had to take the chance and show Berret his heart. She guessed that now would be the time to set aside her doubts and give it a try. The way Chiana saw it; there was nothing else to lose if her and Berret were ever going to be together. That settled, she decide to find somewhere to have a drink to celebrate her decision before returning to the Transport Pod at the landing port. It would be late the next morning before the storm lifted and she was able to return to Moya. Maybe in the meantime she could comm her crewmates and make her apologizes for taking off. They'd be cross with her but she could handle that as long as she got the chance afterwards to talk with Berret, if things went well with their conversation over the comm tonight, she would pop the question tomorrow after she got back to Moya.
The three quarters of the solar day dragged by slowly for the ex-assassin, who neither slept nor ate very much. The second Transport Pod from Moya touched down a few rows over from the one Chiana had taken over a day before. The hatch hadn't fully opened before the fully armored Shrike leaped clear and hit the ground. His metal shod footsteps rang in the late morning air as he stalked his way over to the first Pod and keyed the hatch. The rest of the crew had just finished securing their transport and where gathering at the bottom step of the gangway when Berret reappeared.
"Nothing. There is no sign of her," he reported.
"Do you mind if we have a look to be sure?" asked John, a little annoyed with the man's rushing off.
"Do as you wish," Berret replied as he pulled his cloak's hood up over his head and started off into the streets.
Crichton rolled his eyes. "Somebody stop him," he said as he made a move to follow Berret.
To the human's surprise, D'argo caught his arm and halted him.
"John, let him go. He feels responsible and he needs to search for her on his own for awhile."
"Since when did you become 'Mr. Insightful'?" asked Crichton.
"I didn't. It's just how I would feel. We'll look for her ourselves. We are thinking more clearly and will probably be able to find her quickest. After he's had time to calm himself, he will probably seek us out."
"I hope you're right," said Aeryn as she checked her holstered pulse pistol. "Lets divide up then shall we and find our wayward child."
"You should probably have said 'children' now that we have another one wandering around out there," said John.
Away from the others, Berret allowed himself a few microts to pause and collect his thoughts. If he were Chiana, he asked himself, where would he go? He looked about trying to prioritize what the Nebari would do. He decided that if he were Chiana his first priorities would be food, shopping, or snurching... but not necessary in that order, so he headed toward the market and vender stands. The Shrike spend over an half arn showing Chiana's holophoto to shop owners and stand purveyors until he'd hit upon an old woman who'd remembered the girl buying a sandwich and a few snack cubes from her late the afternoon before. Berret thanked the woman and headed off in the direction that she'd said Chiana had taken. Depending on what the storefronts had for sale, the Shrike stopped at the ones selling items that he was sure would have attracted her attention. He continued on for six more blocks when suddenly he's lost the trail of beings who had remembered seeing her, the last five places he'd checked turned up nothing. He was standing in front of a shop that sold a mixture of items, one of which was jewelry... something he was sure would have interested Chiana. However the sign in the doorway said that the owner had closed the business for the day.
Berret stood for a moment and considered his next move. A man stood on the nearby corner with a cart of fruits and vegetables. On the off chance, Berret approached the man and showed him Chiana's image. To his surprise the peddler recognized her right away,
"Yes... yes, I see her. Very pretty, very pretty. It was here last night almost on this very spot, just after the dinner hour. I see her go over there." The man pointed to a tavern across the street that even at this hour of the day was opened and doing business.
"That would figure," said Berret after he gave the man his thanks.
The Shrike crossed the street and entered the Pub. He worked his way through the semi-crowed tables toward the bar and was astonished to see Aeryn and John already there talking with the bartender. The pair looked up just as Berret approached.
"Hey, Berret. Any luck?" asked John. Berret shook his head. John turned back and thanked the bartender who barely gave him a glance as he continued performing the mug wiping ritual that barkeeps everywhere seemed to always be performing at all times.
"We've been checking all the drinking establishments for Chiana that we've come across," explained Aeryn.
"Yeah," agreed John as he slid his copy of the Nebari girl's photo back into a pocket, "This guy says she hasn't been in here."
"Really?" said the Shrike looking back at the man.
Before John or Aeryn could stop him, Berret had reached over and slammed the man's head down on to the bar top and pinned it there. There was a metallic ring as the blades of his right gauntlet sprang out followed by a heavy thud as he buried them halfway into the bar top just a henta from the barkeep's nose.
"What the hell are you doing?" exclaimed John as the bartender started to make a wordless cry, his eye's crossing as he tried to focus on the sharp blades that were making a slight strange hum.
"He's lying!" Berret snarled menacingly.
"You don't know that for sure!" said Aeryn as she tried to yank Berret off the man.
"She was seen entering this place last night," the Shrike growled at the barkeeper.
"It wasn't me last night. I work the day shift... that wasn't me!" protested the pinned man.
"Man, you are losing it!" John hissed in a low voice to Berret. "Let him up. He doesn't know anything."
Berret reluctantly released his hold on the bartender. The man shot up and away from the Shrike as quickly as he was able. Berret pulled and with a moaning groan the blades wrenched free of the wooden bar top.
"Forgive our friend here, he's very worried about our other friend," Aeryn said to the man behind the bar, "Will this person who worked last night be here again tonight?"
The man nodded, still looking fearfully at the glaring Shrike.
"Good," said John, "Then we'll stop back later tonight to talk with him. Sorry for the 'misunderstanding'."
Berret wasn't about to let it go at that. Holding the gauntlet up, he let the bartender watch the wicked blades retracted with a hard snap.
"And should your friend not be here tonight for some reason... I will find you, and hold you very dearly responsible," the Shrike warned.
The barkeep visibly swallowed and then glanced down at the twin holes in his bar top.
"Come on, before you get us arrested," said Crichton as he dragged the Shrike out by one arm.
Berret looked up from his book to gaze at the Nebari girl sprawled across the other side of the bed. Chiana wasn't paying much attention to the Shrike, as she was so absorbed in the crispy snack cubes she was devouring with gusto. She noisily sucked the crumbs off each of her thin pale fingers as Berret turned back to his book. He found the place where he left off and settled in to continue his reading.
Crunch... Crunch...
The Shrike rolled his eyes and glared at the gray woman as he closed the book and let it flop to the bed between them.
"You're getting crumbs in the bed," he complained to her.
"Sorry," was her muffled reply but she didn't stop eating her snacks. "Have one," she offered, holding out a plate that had only two of the treats left on it. The plate had been full to over flowing when she brought it into his quarters. Within a half arn the small woman had demolished the pile of cubes. Berret wondered to himself where the tiny female put it all.
"No, thank you," he said rather coolly as he swung his feet off the bed and stood up.
"What's the matter with you?" asked Chiana.
"Its rather annoying to have to sleep with crumbs all over the bed. You are somewhat of a messy eater," he told her.
"Oh?" she said snidely, "Is there anything else about me you find 'annoying'?"
"Yes. You have a habit of leaving your undergarments all over my lavatory."
"Well, excuse me! I thought we were friends," she retorted.
"Is it common on Nebari Prime for friends to trash their friend's living quarters?"
"If you feel that way about it, then I'll frelling leave!" shouted Chiana as she rose from the bed.
The girl started to stalk toward the door and Berret felt his heart drop out of his chest at the thought of her leaving angry. He caught her arm as she stormed passed him on her way out.
"Pixie...wait," he said.
"What?" she asked with an angry glare.
"I... I'm sorry. I don't know why I said those things," Berret said to her.
"We seem to be having a lot of disagreements lately," said the girl as she crossed her arms in front of her.
"I know. I'll try and do better," he promised.
"Listen 'Ret, I've been thinking... maybe we have been spending too much time together and that's why we're getting on each other's nerves," Chiana said, the comment actually more question than statement.
Berret felt his blood run cold at her words. He'd felt lately that there was something missing between them or rather that there should have been something more, but he didn't know what. That feeling of an empty space was what was making him react strangely, the emptiness somehow made him feel... well, insecure. He wanted to be in the woman's company as much as possible, not have less of it. Unfortunately by her statement it appeared to Berret that Chiana might want less of his companionship.
"I think it would be better if I just go back to my quarter's... that way we won't be arguing over every little thing," said the Nebari as if she were sounding him out on the idea.
Not knowing what else to do, Berret released her arm and nodded his head as if he agreed with her.
She looked up at him with her dark eyes as if waiting for him to say something more, but he thought it would be selfish of him to ask her to stay when it was so obvious that she preferred to leave at that microt. It then occurred to him that the woman had stayed with him out of a sense of responsibility and now she was growing wary of the chore of having to always look after him. She had given him more then he'd had the right to ask for, and regardless of what he might have felt for her... it wouldn't be acceptable to continue to encumber the Nebari girl. The constant fighting had to be her rebelling at the chain he had become, the proper thing to do would be to remain silent and not push his feelings...or his company, onto the girl. When he didn't say anything further, Chiana said goodnight and left his quarters. As soon as the door cycled closed behind the girl the room seemed to grow as large as a cavern and as silent as a tomb. Until then he hadn't realized just how much of the normal background noise in his life had revolved around Chiana's presence. The rustle of her clothing, the laugh that could range from a delightful tinkle to an annoying bark, the sound of her sighing in her sleep, all had become part of his everyday life. Lost in the silence of his quarters Berret thought he would explode. Not knowing what else to do and not being able to stand the empty room much longer, he put his boots back on and went down to the makeshift gym on the next tier. Hoping that just maybe he could exercise this odd feeling out of himself.
Chiana quarters seem foreign to her now as she realized how little time she actually had spent in them since Berret came aboard. After he was released from his cell they'd spent the first few night staying up and talking until they both fell asleep. It had become routine and Berret never complained about the loss of privacy, somewhere along the way she had come to consider his quarters "theirs" without realizing it. She looked at her own bed and thought that it looked huge compared to the one in Berret's room even though she knew that they were both exactly the same size. It looked... empty, she concluded as she sat down on the soft mattress. It then occurred to her that she could probably count the number of times the Shrike had been inside her quarters on the fingers of one hand, except for that time they'd had too much to drink, the man had never sleep here. He'd never showed up with a tray of snack cubes or with anything to drink. He never stopped by to visit, to kick his boots off and stay all night to chat with her... never, not once in all this time. Chiana's eyes felt heavy with un-shed tears as she realized that everything had been on her part. Berret never seemed to have sought out her company on his own. He had really never made an effort to be with her. Inwardly she berated herself for not seeing the signs; the man only tolerated her out of gratitude. At first he was lost and had no one else to turn too, but now as he found more of himself and recovered more of his personality. He was starting to resist against her constant hovering in his life. She realized that in the beginning it thrilled her to have someone depending on her, to have someone need her. Then she enjoyed the equal companionship their relationship had evolved into. After meeting the Delvian Shrike Grandmaster, Shenna, she realized that somehow their relationship meant more then friendship to her. Somewhere along the way she'd fallen in love with Berret almost without realizing it was happening.
Shenna had told her that they had a future together and that she would know when to pursue it. Somehow, somewhere, she missed her cue. She waited or hesitated too long and the moment passed them by. Berret had let her leave without really even trying to stop her, without even really saying anything. He just nodded his head as if he agreed with everything she'd said... almost like he wanted her to go. A single tear escaped and rolled down her pale cheek and she wiped it away on one sleeve. The old man had said Berret was in love with her, if he ever was... she was sure he wasn't now. She'd done it again and driven someone else she cared about away. All she had to do was teach him about love and instead she taught him how not to be able to stand her company anymore. All they had done lately was argue and fight, now Berret didn't want to be near her and he seemed more dispassionate and guarded then ever. It was obvious that the man wanted his space from her. Everything he'd worked for in regaining his sense of self was slowly being stifled out of him because of her. More tears came as Chiana made her decision to stay out of Berret's life, so he could go on without her interference. She ached to talk with Zhaan or one of the others, but she didn't want to hear the "I told you so," she knew she would get. They all thought she was too young to be able to help Berret find what he'd lost, to regain some of his humanity. The others constantly told her that was a task for a mature mind. To make matters worse, she decided that they would be right. She was too young and she had frelled things up... just like she always did.
Her heart breaking she also knew she couldn't stay here aboard Moya with him feeling the way she did. She decided she would prove them wrong. She had taken responsibility for bringing Berret aboard and she would give him one more gift... his freedom from her. She would step aside and give him the room he needed to grow. Just as a mother would sacrifice herself for her child's welfare, she would set aside her own well-being and security for someone she loved. The decision made, she felt her room closing in around her as she got up off her bed. Grabbing the largest bag she could find at the moment, the girl began stuffing clothes and other personal items inside it.
"I have to get out of here," Chiana murmured to herself.
Chiana landed the Transport Pod at the landing port of the commerce planet's largest city. Moya had been orbiting the planet for two solar days while Rygel and Crichton arranged trade agreements and a contract to haul cargo in-system for a merchant. Pilot had tried to talk her out of leaving but she had reminded him of his promise that any of them where free to leave Moya at any time and she held him to it. Pilot relented and reluctantly promised not to tell the others of her decision to leave until one of them inquired about her whereabouts. She told him she would leave the Pod at the city's spaceport for the others to pick up later and left Moya without saying any further good-byes. While she had flown over the city in a holding pattern waiting for permission to land, she had a good view of the planet's outlaying areas. The world was covered mostly in great deserts where huge savage sand storms ranged. When one threaten the few cities scattered over the planet's surface, immense force-screens where erected over the populated areas. While the screens were active, no ships could land or leave during the storms. The Nebari girl picked up her bag and tossed it over one shoulder before exiting the pod. Sadly, she turned and gave the familiar ship one last look before closing and locking it up.
"Well, I guess it had to end sometime," she said out loud to herself. "I've been on my own before and did okay. I'll just find somewhere to crash, check out the nightlife and try to find a way off this sand-ball... shouldn't be too difficult. Just like old times."
She kept telling herself that over and over again as she wandered off into the crowded streets.
"What do you mean, 'she's gone'!" thundered D'argo.
"I mean gone... as in, Chiana has left the building," answered Crichton.
Berret stood stunned, his heart having turned to ice at the news. The Luxan whirled in his direction.
"You!" he growled out. "This is your doing. What did you say to her?" he demanded.
"We... we had a small disagreement last night and she returned to her quarters. She never said anything about leaving Moya," stammered out the Shrike.
"Well, your 'small disagreement' was obviously upsetting enough that Chiana felt she had to jump ship," Aeryn put in.
Feeling guilty, Berret confessed, "We have been arguing often now, since the wedding. I don't know why."
"I see," drawled Rygel as he moved his thronesled closer to the ex-assassin until he was floating nose to nose with the man. "Well, maybe if you made up your frelling mind about what you wanted, the two of you wouldn't fight so much!" exclaimed the Hynerian in hot anger.
Two things took Berret aback. The first being that Rygel had hit the cause of most of their problems right on the head, If only he could find the courage in himself to tell her how he sometimes felt - even though he knew nothing could ever come of it. The second thing was that the Dominar was visibly worried about Chiana... enough that he almost ran the Shrike down with his floating throne as he berated him. Not something the normally self-centered Hynerian would have the courage to do.
"Enough Rygel, it is not Berret's fault. Chiana is a free-willed individual," said Zhaan. "If she chose to leave then we must respect her decision."
"That's all very nice, Blue... but do you mind if we go down and find her to make sure that's what she really wants before we say our good-byes?" asked Crichton.
"No, of course not, John. I was going to suggest that," answered the Pa'u.
"Good. Pilot, how long until that sand storm over the city dies out?"
"About .75 of a solar day, Commander," replied Moya's pilot.
"Great... then we sit here and wait until then," John said to the group. "I'm going to the central chamber for something to eat. Anyone want to join me?"
Most of the crew left with John, leaving Zhaan and Berret alone on the Command tier. D'argo's parting glare was more one of disappointment then of hate, which made Berret feel worse then he already did. The Shrike wordlessly started to gaze out at the storm-covered planet below them. Somewhere below was Chiana, alone and on her own. If someone had to leave it should have been him, he was the one who didn't really belong. Zhaan came to stand by his side, knowing the man was upset she tried to comfort him.
"She'll be alright, Jared," she promised. Berret was silent for a few microts before saying,
"You were wrong, Zhaan. It is my fault she left... the others were right."
Before the Delvian could say anything further the Shrike turned and left the tier also.
Chiana wandered around the storefronts and market place. She tried to distract herself with looking over all the different items that were for sale, but as she got into it she found herself turning around several times to ask Berret's opinion on something, only to find herself alone. Two arns of traveling around the city brought her no closer to finding somewhere to lodge for the night. She decided it was time to become serious about that task and started to turn away from the shop window she'd been looking in when she caught something familiar out of the corner of her eye. Going back she pressed her face up against the window to get a better view of the objects that had snagged her interested.
"By the Goddess!" she murmured in astonishment and then turned to rush inside the store.
Like a Nebari whirlwind the girl descended upon the shop and had the proprietor pull the items that had caught her eye from his front window. On closer inspection they were even more beautiful then she had first thought. In her open hand she held two earrings that were in the shape of a three-loop triangle with intertwining knot work running through each loop connecting them all together. They were Nebari Bonding earrings. The three loops signified man, woman, and family with the knot work binding them together as one. Her and Nerri's parents had had a pair that was almost as lovely as these. Finding them here outside the Nebari system was nothing short of a miracle. The thought froze the girl for a microt, miracle or a sign? Was this what the old Delvian was talking about? Was finding these earrings so far from home at this time and place the sign and the clue to where Berret and her relationship should go next? Maybe they needed this next step and that's why they both had been fighting... they both needed something more from each other, to openly declare that they would be together forever like Aeryn and John had.
"They are a fine choice," said the shop owner, bringing the girl out of her deep thought. "They're..." he started to explain.
"I know what they are," Chiana said cutting him off. The thought of stealing them passed through her mind but she quickly pushed the idea away. Something this important, this sacred... should not be begun or built on the first step being theft. Nebari Bondings were not taken lightly; when you bonded with someone you did it for life and with all of your heart and love. Nothing should be allowed to cheapen the gift. Even at her wildest, she would never have considered bonding to somebody lightly... there were some lines even she would never have crossed no matter how reckless she felt like being.
"How much do you want for them?" she found herself asking before she realized it.
The shop owner named a price that was slightly more then half the credits she had with her. She almost decided against purchasing the earrings but the mental picture she had was too alluring. Berret and her kneeling before an alter facing each other while their patrons of honor waited to simultaneously pierce their left ears as they completed their vows to each other, then the slight pleasurable sting as they promised to hold each other's souls dear forever. Without further thought or debate she dug out her credits and paid the man the asking price. She paused a microt to gaze at the earrings before deciding on securing them in one of the hidden pockets about her clothes. She chose one that was barely big enough to hide a couple of coins in but was more then large enough to hide what she now considered more valuable then money. As she exited the store she made a mental note to ask Zhaan and Malika to bless them before the bonding ceremony. Now all she had to do was talk Berret into bonding with her she thought, hoping it would be as simple as that. She believed that the man could feel that way for her, she just wished she knew for sure. Shenna had said she would be the one who had to take the chance and show Berret his heart. She guessed that now would be the time to set aside her doubts and give it a try. The way Chiana saw it; there was nothing else to lose if her and Berret were ever going to be together. That settled, she decide to find somewhere to have a drink to celebrate her decision before returning to the Transport Pod at the landing port. It would be late the next morning before the storm lifted and she was able to return to Moya. Maybe in the meantime she could comm her crewmates and make her apologizes for taking off. They'd be cross with her but she could handle that as long as she got the chance afterwards to talk with Berret, if things went well with their conversation over the comm tonight, she would pop the question tomorrow after she got back to Moya.
The three quarters of the solar day dragged by slowly for the ex-assassin, who neither slept nor ate very much. The second Transport Pod from Moya touched down a few rows over from the one Chiana had taken over a day before. The hatch hadn't fully opened before the fully armored Shrike leaped clear and hit the ground. His metal shod footsteps rang in the late morning air as he stalked his way over to the first Pod and keyed the hatch. The rest of the crew had just finished securing their transport and where gathering at the bottom step of the gangway when Berret reappeared.
"Nothing. There is no sign of her," he reported.
"Do you mind if we have a look to be sure?" asked John, a little annoyed with the man's rushing off.
"Do as you wish," Berret replied as he pulled his cloak's hood up over his head and started off into the streets.
Crichton rolled his eyes. "Somebody stop him," he said as he made a move to follow Berret.
To the human's surprise, D'argo caught his arm and halted him.
"John, let him go. He feels responsible and he needs to search for her on his own for awhile."
"Since when did you become 'Mr. Insightful'?" asked Crichton.
"I didn't. It's just how I would feel. We'll look for her ourselves. We are thinking more clearly and will probably be able to find her quickest. After he's had time to calm himself, he will probably seek us out."
"I hope you're right," said Aeryn as she checked her holstered pulse pistol. "Lets divide up then shall we and find our wayward child."
"You should probably have said 'children' now that we have another one wandering around out there," said John.
Away from the others, Berret allowed himself a few microts to pause and collect his thoughts. If he were Chiana, he asked himself, where would he go? He looked about trying to prioritize what the Nebari would do. He decided that if he were Chiana his first priorities would be food, shopping, or snurching... but not necessary in that order, so he headed toward the market and vender stands. The Shrike spend over an half arn showing Chiana's holophoto to shop owners and stand purveyors until he'd hit upon an old woman who'd remembered the girl buying a sandwich and a few snack cubes from her late the afternoon before. Berret thanked the woman and headed off in the direction that she'd said Chiana had taken. Depending on what the storefronts had for sale, the Shrike stopped at the ones selling items that he was sure would have attracted her attention. He continued on for six more blocks when suddenly he's lost the trail of beings who had remembered seeing her, the last five places he'd checked turned up nothing. He was standing in front of a shop that sold a mixture of items, one of which was jewelry... something he was sure would have interested Chiana. However the sign in the doorway said that the owner had closed the business for the day.
Berret stood for a moment and considered his next move. A man stood on the nearby corner with a cart of fruits and vegetables. On the off chance, Berret approached the man and showed him Chiana's image. To his surprise the peddler recognized her right away,
"Yes... yes, I see her. Very pretty, very pretty. It was here last night almost on this very spot, just after the dinner hour. I see her go over there." The man pointed to a tavern across the street that even at this hour of the day was opened and doing business.
"That would figure," said Berret after he gave the man his thanks.
The Shrike crossed the street and entered the Pub. He worked his way through the semi-crowed tables toward the bar and was astonished to see Aeryn and John already there talking with the bartender. The pair looked up just as Berret approached.
"Hey, Berret. Any luck?" asked John. Berret shook his head. John turned back and thanked the bartender who barely gave him a glance as he continued performing the mug wiping ritual that barkeeps everywhere seemed to always be performing at all times.
"We've been checking all the drinking establishments for Chiana that we've come across," explained Aeryn.
"Yeah," agreed John as he slid his copy of the Nebari girl's photo back into a pocket, "This guy says she hasn't been in here."
"Really?" said the Shrike looking back at the man.
Before John or Aeryn could stop him, Berret had reached over and slammed the man's head down on to the bar top and pinned it there. There was a metallic ring as the blades of his right gauntlet sprang out followed by a heavy thud as he buried them halfway into the bar top just a henta from the barkeep's nose.
"What the hell are you doing?" exclaimed John as the bartender started to make a wordless cry, his eye's crossing as he tried to focus on the sharp blades that were making a slight strange hum.
"He's lying!" Berret snarled menacingly.
"You don't know that for sure!" said Aeryn as she tried to yank Berret off the man.
"She was seen entering this place last night," the Shrike growled at the barkeeper.
"It wasn't me last night. I work the day shift... that wasn't me!" protested the pinned man.
"Man, you are losing it!" John hissed in a low voice to Berret. "Let him up. He doesn't know anything."
Berret reluctantly released his hold on the bartender. The man shot up and away from the Shrike as quickly as he was able. Berret pulled and with a moaning groan the blades wrenched free of the wooden bar top.
"Forgive our friend here, he's very worried about our other friend," Aeryn said to the man behind the bar, "Will this person who worked last night be here again tonight?"
The man nodded, still looking fearfully at the glaring Shrike.
"Good," said John, "Then we'll stop back later tonight to talk with him. Sorry for the 'misunderstanding'."
Berret wasn't about to let it go at that. Holding the gauntlet up, he let the bartender watch the wicked blades retracted with a hard snap.
"And should your friend not be here tonight for some reason... I will find you, and hold you very dearly responsible," the Shrike warned.
The barkeep visibly swallowed and then glanced down at the twin holes in his bar top.
"Come on, before you get us arrested," said Crichton as he dragged the Shrike out by one arm.