Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. Do not use them for porn. Ask the real creators of these characters, J.K. Rowling.
a/n: This was inspired by a banana, egg and honey mix for my hair. Thank you to my sister who let me use her as a guinea pig. * SO MUCH LOOOONG HAIR!!!!*
Why Snape hates James and Gang
************Back in the day with James at Hogwarts.***********
James: Hey Sevi! What's up?
Snape: Hey James. The damn Yule Ball is coming up.
James: Oh yeah. Asked anyone yet?
Snape: Hell no. Well…I would. But…
James: Oh I know. You're hair right?
Snape: Yeah. I heard Lily saying she likes guys with wild, untidy hair. Mine is well…perfectly straight.
James: I dunno Sev, everyone likes your straight, silky hair. Changing it for a girl just isn't right.
*Just then a bunch of school mates pass by.
School mates snigger at the sight of a Gryffindor and Slytherin talking to each other.*
School mate 1: I bet the Gryffindor's just trying to find the Slytherin's password!
School mate 2: Nah it's the Slytherin doing that. You know how they are.
*James and Severus look slightly awkward*
James: Look, we'll figure something out. Sirius and Remus are going to the Yule Ball, so you'll have to come too, ok?
Snape: Yeah, yeah.
***************One night later at the Slytherin Dormitories*********
James: Sev! Yo! You there?
Snape: James? Did the passage get you in alright?
James: Yeah worked great. Sirius and Remus came too!
Sirius: Hey man.
Remus: Evening.
SNape: Cool. What's up.
James: Well, we were looking for a solution for your hair problems. I can't believe you'd change your fine silky hair to curly and wild looking.
Remus: Honestly, Severus, I like it straight. Suits you.
Snape: Well if I want to get Lily's attention, I'll have to change it.
Sirius: Here's the spell. I saw McGonagall reading this girly witch magazine and took it from her. There's something in here about hair styling. Here we go, 'Do's of Hair dos'. Hmm. Something's fishy about the title part, like"-
James: Here look! For a wild undone look: Two tablespoons of avocado oil, one teaspoon of dragon's blood, grinded murk-lurk roots and five beads of swamp dew. Wow. But why dragon's blood….
Sirius: Turn around Sev, we've got to put it on. Uh…this smells funny…
Snape: I don't know if I want that put in my hair... Are you guys sure you read everything correctly?
Remus: Phew! That's some funk!
Sirius: Yeah yeah. Oh, for fine and straight hair add a twist of nightshade. We'll need to use that on you.
James: Ok, you leave this in over night and you'll have luxurious, wild and flirty hair tomorrow morning.
*All look at James funny*
James: What? That's what it says ok?!
*Snape goes to bed happy and excited. All the other Slytherins look at him funny cuz he stinks. But that's ok, Severus thought. He'll have wonderful hair and Lily would like him. He'll just bear it for now and everything would be set by tomorrow. *
***************Next morning*******************
Snape: Wow! I wonder what I look like. *Rushes to the bathroom*
SNape: OH HOLY BEASTS OF ZEUS! MY HAIR!!!!!
*He puts on a hat and goes to search for his friends*
Snape: LOOK! *He unveils himself*
James, Sirius, and Remus: HOLY CRAP!
James: How'd it get all…greasy and…oily…
Sirius: Oh Gross! IT looks like you haven't washed your hair…EVER!
Lupin: That's really weird. Maybe your hair had a reaction to it.
Snape: I can't ask Lily to the Yule Ball like this! She'll think I don't have good hygiene!
*Just then Lily walks by*
Lily: Hey guys.
*Severus hides his face*
All: Hey Lily.
Lily: Hey, um…James…I was wondering, are you going to the Yule Ball with anyone?
James: *stupidly* Oh no.
Lily: Great! I'll meet you in the Gryffindor Common Room at 5!
*Rushes off giggling*
James: No- WAIT!
Snape: Oh I get it. YOU were after Lily! So you cursed my hair to look like this and take Lily to the Yule Ball!
James: No! I swear!
Remus: Calm down Sev, we all knew you liked Lily.
Snape: Trying to prove that the Slytherin can't compete with you Gryffindors! I should have known!
Sirius: Stop with your stupid talk Sev-
Snape: Stupid talk?! So all we Slytherins are stupid huh? You were making a fool of me all this time when I thought I had real friends! Screw you all!
*Storms off*
James: I hope whatever happened to his hair wears off soon. I just don't get it. We followed the directions.
Remus: Yeah, it's really a horrible. To think his shinny, silky hair's all dull and slimy now…
Sirius: Serves him right for accusing of us like that.
James: I hope he won't get scarred for life…
Pettigrew: Wow! It's James, Sirius and Remus!
All: Uh…Hi lil curly, blond haired dude.
Pettigrew: Can I hang out with you guys?! I mean you're missing that Slytherin kid now. I can fill in his spot!
James: He's not as cool as Sev…but as Gryffindors we have to be nice…so…
"Sure…Uh what was your name?"
Pettigrew: I'm Peter! Peter Pettigrew! *Sniggers to himself* It's a good thing I sabotaged that article in the magazine! Now I can be part of the cool people crowd! *Crunches up piece of paper that says 'Don't Do's of Hair Dos'*