*Okay, first I want to apologize for how long this chapter took. Quite frankly, I got lazy. I had all Christmas break, I just didn't do it. Part of that was an uncertainty about how things were going to go. I have the basic plot lined up, but the little mincy details are a bit of a mystery at this point. Anyway, I got off my butt and wrote, so I hope you like it
My Beautiful
Ch. 5- Empty
I wake up to Spike's rythmic breathing beside me. I want to just listen for a while, the sound thrills me. I'd always dreamt of this, believed so fervently that dream would come true. Too fervently. I just set myself up for disapointment again and again. And now... now I have that dream beside me, and I just listen to that even breathing, aligning itself to my heartbeat.
But then again, the dream still hasn't come true. In my dream, my glorious, delusional dream, we come together out of love, not sick, shadowed lust. I love him with all my being, my very soul. Yet his is the love of darkness, the kiss of corruption, slowly bleeding me of my dreams.
He doesn't love me. I know that, now more than ever. What happened last night was an act of pure desire, with some help from cheap liquor. His easy breathing still smells of alcohol, he must've had a lot. More of the amber poison that liberates our bodies from the dreadful overseer of the mind. He didn't come to me out of love, or romance, but out of a baser need. How drunk did he have to get to want to sleep with me? How many bottles did it take? Because I know he can't actually want me, fallen angel that I am. Pure, full of light, that's what he wants. Just one woman.
Julia.
How I loathe, love, and envy her, all at once. She was perfect. Perfect. That word rings of melodies I cannot hear, words I cannot read, speech I cannot understand. The world of purity has long closed it's doors to me.
Groggily, I look up at the clock, realizing I can't stay here forever. 9:00 AM. How did I wake up so early? It doesn't matter, I should get a head start anyway. I promised myself I would actually work, I would earn my keep this time. So I stuggle out of bed, a task made more difficult by my eagerness to not wake Spike. Not that I have to worry, he's going to be sleeping for quite some time, and have a hangover for quite some time after that. I put on my new tank top and jeans (I went shopping before I got to the ship), and head for the shower. Which has cold water. Figures.
After a rather quick shower I'm eating breakfast on the couch next to a drowsy Jet. "Any bounties?"
He blinks at me before nodding. "Yah, we've got quite a juicy catch on Callisto, once we get there."
"Callisto?! Ugh, I hate that place... so cold!"
"Maybe if you wore a little more clothing you wouldn't have such a problem." He's smirking. Sure, smirk away baldy. I feel a bit of attitude coming up but I push it down again, must be grateful, must be grateful. I take a deep breath to calm myself.
"So when are we getting to Callisto anyway?"
"Oh, I'd say about 12 hours. After that there's an hour of landing procedure, they're so strict about that sort of thing on Callisto. So I'd say you have a good 13 hours of free time!"
He says it like it's a good thing. It's not. That means 13 hours of time trapped on a ship with Spike, a person I'd rather avoid right now. Jet must have seen my face pale, because he asks, "Are you alright Faye? You look a bit sick." That's Jet for ya, he's a good guy.
"No, I'm fine! Just fine! I think I'm going to go work out now!" I stammer out an explanation as I race away to the top of the ship, which holds my favorite device, the punching bag. I start to work out my anger and nervousness on the innocent bag. It really doesn't deserve this. I'm so engrossed in what I'm doing that I don't even notice Spike until he grabs and holds the punching bag.
"Faye, we need to talk..."
He's going to say that last night was a mistake. And it was a mistake. I shouldn't have been so weak, even if it was Spike. So I strike a cocky pose, every inch the hard-hearted bitch. Now if only I could really pull it off...
"Faye, I really didn't mean for that to happen..." Can I call it or what? Even though my heart feels like someone very determined is screwing it with a clamp I can't help but feel some satisfaction. Spike has the same weakness. He just couldn't resist a good fuck. I'm not alone in that respect, at least.
"What I mean to say is... well... sorry, I guess." And now he's... apologizing? I'm a bit shocked, I must say. I was thinking he'd merely brush me off like an annoying piece of lint.
"You're... apologizing... to me?" I have to verify this amazing fact.
"Yes." He was perfectly casual about it, of course. "What I meant to do, in fact, was invite you to dinner."
"You're kidding."
"No, no I'm not. So take it or leave it, I'll be in my room." And with that he strolls out, leaving me stunned in his wake, a bit lost, and very confused.
"Fuck." I say as I turn as punch the bag once more.
***
Hahah, done. I'm struggling a bit to keep Spike and Faye in character, which is clogging the writing process a bit. I need to watch Bebop again, I guess. I'm afraid that chapter wasn't tip-top, but it had it's moments, and I'll be sure to make the next one better. But don't expect it for at least a week, I'm in the middle of finals... aiya...
~val~
My Beautiful
Ch. 5- Empty
I wake up to Spike's rythmic breathing beside me. I want to just listen for a while, the sound thrills me. I'd always dreamt of this, believed so fervently that dream would come true. Too fervently. I just set myself up for disapointment again and again. And now... now I have that dream beside me, and I just listen to that even breathing, aligning itself to my heartbeat.
But then again, the dream still hasn't come true. In my dream, my glorious, delusional dream, we come together out of love, not sick, shadowed lust. I love him with all my being, my very soul. Yet his is the love of darkness, the kiss of corruption, slowly bleeding me of my dreams.
He doesn't love me. I know that, now more than ever. What happened last night was an act of pure desire, with some help from cheap liquor. His easy breathing still smells of alcohol, he must've had a lot. More of the amber poison that liberates our bodies from the dreadful overseer of the mind. He didn't come to me out of love, or romance, but out of a baser need. How drunk did he have to get to want to sleep with me? How many bottles did it take? Because I know he can't actually want me, fallen angel that I am. Pure, full of light, that's what he wants. Just one woman.
Julia.
How I loathe, love, and envy her, all at once. She was perfect. Perfect. That word rings of melodies I cannot hear, words I cannot read, speech I cannot understand. The world of purity has long closed it's doors to me.
Groggily, I look up at the clock, realizing I can't stay here forever. 9:00 AM. How did I wake up so early? It doesn't matter, I should get a head start anyway. I promised myself I would actually work, I would earn my keep this time. So I stuggle out of bed, a task made more difficult by my eagerness to not wake Spike. Not that I have to worry, he's going to be sleeping for quite some time, and have a hangover for quite some time after that. I put on my new tank top and jeans (I went shopping before I got to the ship), and head for the shower. Which has cold water. Figures.
After a rather quick shower I'm eating breakfast on the couch next to a drowsy Jet. "Any bounties?"
He blinks at me before nodding. "Yah, we've got quite a juicy catch on Callisto, once we get there."
"Callisto?! Ugh, I hate that place... so cold!"
"Maybe if you wore a little more clothing you wouldn't have such a problem." He's smirking. Sure, smirk away baldy. I feel a bit of attitude coming up but I push it down again, must be grateful, must be grateful. I take a deep breath to calm myself.
"So when are we getting to Callisto anyway?"
"Oh, I'd say about 12 hours. After that there's an hour of landing procedure, they're so strict about that sort of thing on Callisto. So I'd say you have a good 13 hours of free time!"
He says it like it's a good thing. It's not. That means 13 hours of time trapped on a ship with Spike, a person I'd rather avoid right now. Jet must have seen my face pale, because he asks, "Are you alright Faye? You look a bit sick." That's Jet for ya, he's a good guy.
"No, I'm fine! Just fine! I think I'm going to go work out now!" I stammer out an explanation as I race away to the top of the ship, which holds my favorite device, the punching bag. I start to work out my anger and nervousness on the innocent bag. It really doesn't deserve this. I'm so engrossed in what I'm doing that I don't even notice Spike until he grabs and holds the punching bag.
"Faye, we need to talk..."
He's going to say that last night was a mistake. And it was a mistake. I shouldn't have been so weak, even if it was Spike. So I strike a cocky pose, every inch the hard-hearted bitch. Now if only I could really pull it off...
"Faye, I really didn't mean for that to happen..." Can I call it or what? Even though my heart feels like someone very determined is screwing it with a clamp I can't help but feel some satisfaction. Spike has the same weakness. He just couldn't resist a good fuck. I'm not alone in that respect, at least.
"What I mean to say is... well... sorry, I guess." And now he's... apologizing? I'm a bit shocked, I must say. I was thinking he'd merely brush me off like an annoying piece of lint.
"You're... apologizing... to me?" I have to verify this amazing fact.
"Yes." He was perfectly casual about it, of course. "What I meant to do, in fact, was invite you to dinner."
"You're kidding."
"No, no I'm not. So take it or leave it, I'll be in my room." And with that he strolls out, leaving me stunned in his wake, a bit lost, and very confused.
"Fuck." I say as I turn as punch the bag once more.
***
Hahah, done. I'm struggling a bit to keep Spike and Faye in character, which is clogging the writing process a bit. I need to watch Bebop again, I guess. I'm afraid that chapter wasn't tip-top, but it had it's moments, and I'll be sure to make the next one better. But don't expect it for at least a week, I'm in the middle of finals... aiya...
~val~