Disclaimer: Jägermonsters and other Girl Genius references do not belong to me. I wish they did, especially Gil and the Jägermonsters, but they don't. PS Gil is living proof that all nice guys are either taken or fictional characters. :) Heehee he's sparky, that's why I like him! Intelligence is high on my list, which comes from being surrounded by stupid people – they're slaves of the other, you know. Anyway...

(All disclaimers apply to the whole story).

Chapter 4: Straight Down Diagon Alley

Sorry it's been a while, school and my new addiction to Final Fantasy III have been interfering with the really important stuff. Ooh I'm getting so excited we are SO CLOSE to the first couple WDs! :) Yay! :) OMG they actually happen during this chapter although we don't see the aftereffects or know about it until next chapter. Yay! anyway.

Monday morning arrived at the Burrow, bringing with it a flurry of activity. Everyone was primping and preening so as to look their best at the Alley; everyone except Fred and Mr. Weasley, who were staying at home. Hermione had finally found a hair-taming spell in one of her books, and was busy applying it to the bushy mop on her head long after everyone else was ready to go. When she finally came downstairs, though, the effect was stunning.

"Wow," said Ron, voicing Harry's opinion. "Why didn't you do that before?" Hermione just blushed and muttered something about being single now.

"Come on," bustled Mrs. Weasley, interrupting the awkward moment. "We're already running later than I planned." One by one they all threw Floo powder in the fireplace, shouted, "Diagon Alley," and disappeared.

The Leaky Cauldron was crowded with people of all different sorts. There was a group of goblins in one corner, and a hag and a vampire were having a quiet discussion in another. The center of attention of most of the crowd was a table in the middle of the pub, where a drunk jägermonster ranted to his companions about affairs on the dirigibles.

"Ach," he drawled, his head lolling about, "Eef yuhng Master Geelgahmyesh und thees Clay geet toogehther – shee's a Heeterodyn, yoo noh, qvite a spahrk – I new vehn I ferst smehlled her dat shee vahs -"

At this point the intoxicated monster collapsed in a heap on the table. One of the others stood up. "Vat you lookink at? You got odder tings to do, yah?" The crowd dispersed, laughing, as the jägermonsters groaned about the future plot their compatriot had given away.

Harry had been leaning against the fireplace during this discussion, interested and thoroughly amused. He had always loved the pub's policy of welcoming creatures from all fantasy stories. He didn't have much time to linger, as Ron wanted a Fortescue sunday and Hermione needed to pick up some new NEWT preparation books. First, though, they had to go to Gringotts.

Harry always dreaded going to the wizard bank with the Weasleys: although they were nice about it, he knew that they envied him his large pile of inherited gold. It came as a surprise, then, that upon reaching the Weasley vault the family found more than enough gold to get by on. It would, of course, have been impolite to make inquiries, but Ron whispered to Harry as they got back on the cart, "It's because of the twins. Seriously, they had made like a thousand galleons by the end of their sixth year."

Hermione remarked, as the threesome made their way to Flourish and Blotts, on the dearth of textbooks in their new curriculum. Indeed, the only purchase they made was Magic in the Industrial Age: A Study of Wizarding and Muggle Developments in the 19th Century. Only Professor Binns would assign such a boring-sounding book.

On the whole there were more supplies to obtain than ever. Potions ingredients now included more and more dangerous chemicals, and apparently Professor Sprout had stopped merely toying with the idea of students bringing their own plants. There was even one extra, semi-expensive item that Professor Dumbledore himself must have added to the list, or at least Harry, Ron, and Hermione couldn't see who else would have included it: a wand focus. This was a small crystal which medieval wizards used to put on the handles of their wands to increase the power and accuracy of their spells; unfortunately international law had banned them in the late 1700s as part of the Duel Equality Act. To get them, therefore, the friends had to go to a place where only Harry had been before: Knockturn Alley.

The place had not changed much since he had been there last. The old wood looked even greyer after the effects of more years of rain and weather. It was just as dreary, just as forbidding, and just as confusing with its twisted streets and vague signs. They were about to turn back when a voice they well recognized came from behind them.

"Well, if it isn't the muggle-lovers' convention."

"Malfoy," muttered Ron and Harry simultaneously, and they readied themselves for a physical struggle. Hermione, however, turned around first.

"Oh, thank goodness you're here, Draco," she said, coolly but with no real malice showing. "We're not used to hanging out in the ghetto, criminal part of town. Perhaps you could point us to a place where we could find wand foci?"

Malfoy was taken completely off-guard. He had expected a vicious attack. "Uh – over there, the sign with the twisted wand," he stammered, not even catching the insult in her request until it was too late. He almost said something about it, but by that time they had disappeared into the Last Spell.

"Nice!" said Harry, giving Hermione a fingertip high-five. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?" asked Hermione, who was busy looking around her at the various items for sale in the shop. While the building was definitely in the style of Knockturn Alley, the contents could almost have passed for legal. Almost everything in the place was made up of precious or semi-precious stones; there were necklaces that cast invisible magical reflection shields, 'squeeze stones' that could hold enormous amounts of potion in an incredibly small space, and, of course, Rings of Power.

"The way you fended off Malfoy," said Harry incredulously. "Do you realize that you just-"

Harry didn't have time to finish his sentence, as a harried little wizard, obviously the shop owner, bustled into the room.

"Hogwarts?" he said hurriedly, as if he had to be somewhere soon, "You'll be looking for wand foci, then. One at a time, follow me to the back room."

Harry went first, as Hermione was looking a little nervous and Ron was obviously better than he at comforting her. "Why did the Ministry ban what you have here?" he asked, to make conversation. "Most of it seems to be defensive."

The little old man was searching through drawers in a large cabinet on the wall. "They were big duelers, the eighteenth century wizards. Couldn't bear to – your house?"

"Wh-what? Oh, I mean, Gryffindor."

"All right then, let's try ruby. Before I put this on, though, I want you to cast lumos."

"Lumos."

"Good, it's nice and bright but could be brighter. That's excellent. So anyway, there was this one champion dueler, a Russian fellow, who could beat anybody. Don't remember his name. I think it was – no, ruby doesn't work for you, we're going to have to dig deeper. What's your wand wood?"

"Holly."

"Holly. Holly and Gryffindor. Hmm, let's try a rose quartz, shall we? And anyway, this Russian chap couldn't be beat because he spent all his time developing shields and magic-storers. Things like, you know, a squeeze stone. If you put waters of life in a squeeze stone you can recover from most of your injuries. No, rose quartz isn't working, either. What's your order?"

"I'm Order of the Phoenix."

"Let's see, dear me, that might be a red jasper. Like I was saying, squeeze stones, you can also store poisons in them and throw them at your opponent. But the worst was the rings of power. You could control your enemy, make him your slave. But the real reason all the legislation was passed was because they couldn't beat that Russian guy. Anyone, as you know, can be taken out by a shot in the back or by surprise attack; with the shield necklaces, though, the wearer was invincible except during the brief time that they were actually casting the spell, and of course they couldn't protect against the unforgiveables. Huh! Even jasper doesn't work! Hmm."

The man sat down on the floor, muttering to himself.

"Excuse me?" said Harry at last.

"Huh? What?"

"Perhaps this would help. The Sorting Hat-" here Harry took a tremendous breath, and steeled himself for what he was about to do. "The Sorting Hat almost put me in Slytherin."

"Ah ha!" The little man literally jumped into the air. "Tigerseye! Why didn't you say that before?" He began to rummage through another drawer. "But the ministry wizards wanted full power, over everyone," he said, as if there had been no long pause in the conversation. "They didn't want anyone to be secure from their power. So they banned permanent protection magic." As he fitted this last stone to the end of Harry's wand, suddenly the light in the room became brighter and brighter. "There you have it! Well, best see to your friends now, they'll be wondering what happened to you." He began to bustle Harry out of the area.

"Wait!" said Harry urgently.

"What is it, boy? What's the matter?"

"I'd – I'd like to make some other purchases."

By the time Harry was done, he had bought three shield necklaces, ten squeeze stones, and of course his tigerseye wand focus. Ron went in next, then Hermione; they both took much less time than Harry did, and came out only with their wand foci: smokey quartz for Ron, and carbuncle for Hermione. Afterwards, out on a side street, Harry told them what he had done.

"Harry!" scolded Hermione, her brow knitted with either concern or anger, he couldn't tell which. "It's bad enough that Hogwarts is requiring us to break the law, but you do so willingly? You jeopardize your future for some magical trinkets?"

"They're not trinkets, Hermes," said Ron thoughtfully. "Actually, I agree with him. If You-Know-Who's gonna come after Hogwarts or Harry this year, we're going to need some protection. And apparently these squeeze stones are just super-concentrated potion bottles; there's no harm in that. I say we go for it."

Hermione still looked unconvinced. "We could get in so much trouble..." she said doubtfully.

Harry put on a high voice. "I'm going to bed, before you two get us killed – or worse, expelled."

They all laughed. "Oh, all right," said Hermione, "I'll wear a necklace. After all, they are rather pretty." She was understating: the jewelry was absolutely gorgeous. The shield gems were onyx, and each jewel was set on its own silver chain. There were even male and female versions: Hermione's onyx was quite pronounced, and her chain was delicate; but Harry and Ron's stones were hidden within a thick chain that seemed reminiscent of muggle punk fashion.

The wand foci being the last purchases they had to make, Harry treated them all to another ice cream before they made their way back to the Leaky Cauldron. There they met up with Ginny and Mrs. Weasley, who had just come back from the Last Spell themselves.

"Really," said Mrs. Weasley, her hands on her hips, "Dumbledore sending his students to a store like that. In Knockturn Alley! I'll never go in there again, never!"

"Come on, mom!" groaned Ginny.

"Oh. Right." She threw a pinch of Floo Powder into the fire. "The Burrow!"

One by one they all shouted, "The Burrow!" and left the pub behind. Five minutes later they were still spinning in circles. "We must have gone around the whole Floo network twice by now!" thought Harry. "What's wrong with it?" Finally, though, a hearth opened up in front of him, and he stepped out, rubbing his eyes. "At last. I was beginning to-" He opened his eyes. "Oh, shit!"